I beat myself up over that one for a good few days – even tried to apologize. She didn’t want to hear it. The next time I figuratively put my foot in my mouth was a week later.
I’m standing outside the building of my English Lit class, leaning against the wall. I have Jason on one side of me, and Caleb on the other. We’re currently watching some of the pledges complete their daily task – swimming in the fountain. People are all gathered around, laughing at their speedos and ducky tubes. It’s your typical public humiliation. It’s actually one of the easier parts of their hazing. I take the quarters from my pocket and start throwing them into the water.
“Make a wish.” I shout, smiling until something catches my eye.
Kayleigh is watching me with a look on her face that has me questioning every single one of my actions. She shakes her head and turns around to walk away, clearly disappointed by my behavior. In an instantaneous decision, I hand Jason the quarters.
“I’ll be right back.” I tell him, and push my way through the crowd. I find Kayleigh only a short distance away. “Hey, wait up.”
She throws her head back as she stops. “What do you want, Holden? Don’t you have innocent freshmen to embarrass?”
I frown. “It’s not like that. They’re joining my fraternity. Hazing is just part of the tradition.”
“And you couldn’t have thought of anything better than humiliating them for everyone to see?”
“Babe, this is the lighter side of things.”
She rolls her eyes. “Okay, one, don’t call me babe. And two, you’re pathetic. You’re what, twenty? Twenty-one? Grow up, and get the poor guys out of the fountain before someone gets sick.”
I remember that day so vividly. I think it was the first time a girl has ever called me out on my shit. She’s the only one who doesn’t melt at the sight of me and become putty in my hand. It’s the most appealing and the most frustrating thing I’ve ever dealt with.
Pulling into the parking spot, I decide to go inside again. I’m picking up Bree so we can go out to dinner. Things with her and I have been good, despite my dilemma of being hung up on Kayleigh. I’m even growing to like her. She’s sweet and supportive, which is good for me. I just don’t know if she will ever mean as much to me as her roommate does.
Maybe it’s just the challenge – the age old ‘want what you can’t have’ tease that’s making me want her so badly. I’d be lying if I said that the fact that she doesn’t fall at my feet isn’t somewhat refreshing. If she wasn’t so resistant to my advances, would I still be like this? Christ, the whole thing is infuriating.
As I approach their door, I see it’s already open – something my girlfriend has been doing when she is expecting me.
“Bree, you ready to go?” I ask as I turn the corner into the room. She’s sitting at her desk, doing her make up. “Of course, you’re not.” I lean against the door and cross my arms, making eye contact with the only one who can turn me into a puddle of mush. “Hi Kayleigh.” In my nervousness, it comes out sounding like I’m making fun of her. Great, just another reason for her to hate me.
“Ugh.” She groans loudly and throws herself back onto her bed, the blanket going up and over her face.
Bree laughs softly. “I’ll be ready in a minute, Holden. I just have to change.”
She gets up and walks into the bathroom with an outfit in hand. Once the door closes, I decide to try again in my goal of getting this girl to like me. I pull the blanket away, only to be met by an angry look on her face.
“Can I help you?” Her rude tone catches me a little off guard but I recover nicely.
“Just saying hi to my girlfriend’s roommate.” I answer, turning and sitting on the side of her bed. Why do I crave this closeness so damn much?
“Hi.” She says blandly. “Now, do you mind?”
A wide smile stretches across my face. “Not at all.” I lean back against her legs. To my surprise, she doesn’t push me off. Instead, she just moves over.
Bree steps out of the bathroom wearing her usual outfit. The only difference is her new dangling pink belly button ring hanging on her flat stomach. “How do I look?”
Is she really asking this? She looks the same almost every time we go somewhere. “Great, as always, now can we go?” I’m hungry and it’s making me impatient.
She rolls her eyes and shoos me away. ‘I wasn’t asking you. I was asking Kayleigh.”
“Oh, thanks.” I scoff. “Doesn’t my opinion matter?”
“Not when you’d just tell me what you think I want to hear.”
“Whatever.”
A part of me likes that she’s coming out of her shell but right now, I wish she would go back to being the shy little blonde who was afraid to talk back. I place my hand unnecessarily close to Kayleigh’s and push myself off her bed, walking over to grab my keys off the desk.
“He’s right.” Kay tells her. “You look great.”
She grins, satisfied with her answer, and grabs her purse. “You sure you don’t want to come with us?”
“No.” The two of us say in unison. It’s not that I don’t want her there. I was more so just predicting her response. However, that’s not how Bree sees it. She turns around and looks at me like I just kicked her puppy.
“What?!” I chuckle. “You’ve asked her every time we go somewhere if she wants to come. The answer is always the same. Leave her to her nap or whatever it is she does in her spare time.”
“Well, duh.” Bree spits. “You’re constantly rude. I wouldn’t want to go anywhere with you if I were her either.”
Okay, I am in no mood to deal with this. I need food, not two girls ganging up on me for joking around. “I’ll meet you in the car.” I say as I walk out the door. “Bye Kayleigh!”
She doesn’t respond, but then again, I didn’t expect her to. This is just what we are to each other, and one of these days I’m going to need to come to terms with that.
Chapter Seven
The restaurant I take Bree to isn’t anything fancy, but it’s enough to be called a date. This whole ‘trying to be an actual boyfriend’ thing is still new to me. I’m trying though, and I guess that’s more than I can say about how I’ve been in the past. Still, I don’t think undressing her roommate with my eyes constitutes as being a good significant other. Speaking of her roommate…
“Hey, can I ask you something?” I start. Bree looks up from her menu and nods. “Why does Kayleigh hate me so much?”
She smiles sadly. “She doesn’t hate you.”
“Yes, she does. If looks could kill, she would have been charged with my murder at least twenty times by now.”
A small laugh bubbles out of her mouth. “Okay, fair enough.” She places the menu down on the table. “I don’t know, babe. I guess some of the things you’ve said and the way you come off, it just makes her think you’re an asshole. She just doesn’t know you like I do. Give her time, I’m sure she’ll come around eventually.”
I nod and leave it alone, not wanting to make myself seem too invested in the topic. Bree may look like your typical ditsy blonde but she’s the furthest thing from dumb. One question too many and everything I’ve worked so hard to hide will unravel right in front of my eyes.
“Do you want to sleep at my place tonight?” I could really use a chance at taking out my frustrations, but I don’t tell her that’s why I’m asking.
She smiles. “Of course. You just have to bring me back for class.”
“That’s fine. I have sociology at 7:30 anyway.”
The rest of the night goes as planned and as I hover over Bree that night, I do my best to not think about caramel brown hair being splayed out on my pillow, instead of the blonde that lies there. And well, if I don’t succeed in that – no one has to know.
I WALK INTO CLASS the next morning with Jordan at my side. For a moment, I completely forget Kayleigh is in here. I’m not sure how, being as she has taken over my every thought lately, yet somehow, I manage. And of course,
I make a complete fool of myself.
“Look, I’m not saying she’s a slut.” I tell him about a girl he’s considering hooking up with. “I’m just saying her vagina could use a delete history button.”
Everyone in the room laughs, except one. Even though I had only said it to advise Jordan against being with her, the reactions boost my ego. When I notice Kayleigh’s face though, my smile drops. Why can I never manage to say the right thing around her? I swear, at this point I’m going to graduate before her glare even begins to soften.
“Alright, alright. Settle down.” Professor Bradley says loudly as he comes into the room.
He messes around with a few things and then turns on a projector. Before I can even read what it says, Kayleigh jumps up, mumbling a quiet apology to our professor before shooting out the door. I perk up, looking around for anything that would tell me the reason for her haste exit. Her computer is still open on her desk, with her bag lying on the floor next to it. I glance back up at the projector and then I see it.
Social Observation Project! Worth 30% of Your Grade.
Partners Will Be Chosen For You.
Before thinking anything through, I stand up from my desk and run down the stairs. It doesn’t take long before I’m standing in front of Prof. Bradley. He looks at me strangely, obviously not ready for any shit at this hour in the morning.
“How would you like to make a hundred bucks?”
His eyes narrow. “Mr. Rivers, you can’t buy a grade, not that you would need to. You’re an excellent student.”
“I’m not asking to buy my grade.” I reply as quietly as I can manage. “I’m asking to buy my partner.”
“I’ve already chosen partners for this project. You’ll be with Jordan. I figured you’d like that.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to be with Jordan. I want to be paired with Kayleigh Jacobs.”
“I wasn’t aware you and Miss Jacobs knew each other.”
“She’s my girlfriend’s roommate, but that’s not important.” I wave the topic off. “Do we have a deal?”
He thinks about it for a second but then winces. “I don’t know. I already have all the partners chosen.”
“Two hundred. Put whoever was partnered with Kayleigh, with Jordan instead, and put me with Kayleigh.”
When he rolls his eyes, I know I’ve won. “Fine.” He agrees. “But please go check on her and make sure she’s alright. I’ll use both of your absences as the reason for the pairing.”
I smile victoriously. “Email me your venmo and I’ll send you your money.”
Tapping his desk twice, I head out the door and toward the bathrooms. She couldn’t have gone far, or else she wouldn’t have left her stuff. When I reach the entrance to the ladies’ room, I can faintly hear music playing inside. I don’t recognize it but it sounds calming. I lean against the wall and wait for her to come out.
The door opens a few minutes later. As soon as she sees me, her eyes widen.
“What are you doing here?”
All I can do is shrug. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.” She dismisses me entirely and starts walking back to class. I follow behind her.
“Just checking, jeez.” I was only seeing if she was alright. She doesn’t need to be so rude about it.
All of a sudden, she halts and turns around swiftly. I need to stop short in order to not run directly into her. “You don’t have to do that, you know, check if I’m alright. It’s not like we’re friends or anything. You don’t need to pretend you care.”
Her attitude strikes a nerve. Christ, you would think I asked to bang her in the bathroom. A complete stranger could probably do the exact same thing I just did, and she would answer sweetly and thank them for caring. The response to my kind gesture only angers me.
“Whatever, Kayleigh.” I sneer. “I just know Bree would kill me if I didn’t see if you were okay. Don’t get too carried away with yourself.”
It’s a complete lie but my defense mechanisms cause me to shut down. It’s been like that since before I can remember. I push past her with my shoulder and continue walking back to class, partially regretting the fact that I just paid $200 to make her my partner on this stupid project. A hooker costs less, and you get laid.
“Ah. Holden and Kayleigh. Nice of you to join us again.” The professor plays the part nicely. “I went ahead and picked partners, and being as you two were not here, you’re partnered together.”
“Fantastic.” I scoff, trying to act just as mad about it as Kayleigh looks.
We walk back to our seats and when I see she has no plan on moving, I collect my things and go to sit next to her. As I put everything down, she looks up at me and for once isn’t shooting daggers with her eyes.
“Can you go get the project summary or do you want me to?” She asks.
I shake my head, too shocked by her quick mood change to say anything. I go down to the professor’s desk and grab two copies of the paper. Once I get back to Kayleigh, I hand her one of them and sit in my new seat.
Objective: Observe people in two abnormal situations.
Details: Create two abnormal social situations. One of the situations needs to be positive while the other needs to be negative. For example, as a positive situation, you can pay for something for others. However, you must be able to fully observe the subject in the situation. One person may observe if he/she takes detailed notes. An example of a negative situation would be accusing someone of something they didn’t do.
NOTE: DAMAGE OF PROPERTY AND ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES ARE NOT PERMITTED AND WILL RESULT IN A FAILING GRADE!
I snicker at the last part, knowing that if I was partnered with Jordan, that’s exactly what he would want to do. When I notice that Kayleigh’s done reading too, I finally get words to come out of my mouth.
“Seems easy enough.” I murmur. “So, do you want to come up with the positive situation and I’ll come up with the negative?” I can’t imagine her being able to think of anything negative, judging by her reaction to having the pledges swim in a fountain.
She nods in response and the two of us get to work.
The next 45 minutes are rough. I’m trying to think of possible negative social situations, but the only thing I can focus on is the smell of her perfume. At one point, my arm brushes up against hers and sends shockwaves through my whole body. By the time that it reaches the end of class, I’ve gotten ten things written down, though most of them suck.
We look over each other’s lists and decide on what we’re going to do. Of course, she chose a situation where I don’t have to interact with her at all, while I chose one that requires us to spend at least a few hours together. Though, in my defense, she wrote the idea down in the first place. I just picked it out of a list.
I GET BACK TO my place after my classes for the day are finished and I can’t dial the number fast enough. Brandon picks up by the second ring, panting into the phone like I just interrupted the best sex of his life. If I didn’t know my best friend so well, I may even believe that.
“I’d ask if you were fucking someone, but I seriously hope you wouldn’t stop to answer my call.”
“Very funny, dick.” He responds playfully. “I was just going for a run. What’s up?”
“Well.” I begin, dragging it out. “I did a thing.”
“A good thing or a bad thing?”
“A ‘you’re going to get yourself in trouble’ thing.”
He sighs. “What did you do?”
“I kind of, sort of, maybe, paid my professor two hundred dollars to partner me with Kayleigh on a project.”
“You did what?!” He shouts. “Are you out of your damn mind? What happened to forgetting about her?”
“If I say I tried, will you stop yelling at me?”
“No.”
I groan. “I don’t know! I don’t understand it! One minute I’m completely ready to just push her out of my mind and move on with my life, and the next I’m staring a
t the back of her head for an hour-long class, imaging what it would feel like to run my fingers through her hair.”
“Good God, what has she done to you?”
“Help me!” I beg.
He chuckles. “What do you want me to do? You’ve already made it so you’re working on this project with her. Do you want me to play mommy and call your professor to correct your mistakes?”
“No. Just tell me how to fix this.”
After thinking for a minute, he hums. “Do the project. You’re stuck with it and you can’t risk your grade, so just get it done. Then, when it’s finished, leave her in the past. You only need to get to December and she won’t be in your class anymore. It can’t be too impossible.”
“You say that but you haven’t met this girl.”
“Maybe not, but just think about it. You’re with Bree, and from what you’ve told me, you two fit pretty well together. She must mean something to you if you’re still with her.”
I half smile. “Yeah. I like her.”
“Well, good. Keep going with that. Best case scenario, at some point your feelings for her will overpower the ones you have for her roommate.”
“And the worst?”
“You’ll die alone, wondering your whole life why you couldn’t make a freshman be nice to you.”
I snort. “Well, at least you’re honest.” My phone buzzes and I notice it’s a text from Bree. “I have to go. Thanks again for the advice. I’ll let you know how the project goes.”
He wishes me luck and we hang up the phone. As soon as the call ends, I open my messages.
Bree: I miss you. Come pick me up?
While I know that I shouldn’t, the opportunity of spending more time around Kayleigh is really tempting. I quickly make up a lie.
Me: Here isn’t good. Jesse is making the pledges
scrub the place. Want to hang at yours?
Bree: Sure. See you soon.
I grin and grab my keys, heading over to campus as quickly as I can. I pull into the parking spot and get out, taking the stairs up instead of the elevator. When I knock on the door, my girlfriend opens it quickly and shushes me.
Awakened in September Page 5