His Love VS Her Lust

by Angie Hayes

  “I’ve lived my life the right way only to be betrayed by my husband and a woman who I thought was my friend. Now I’m given an early death sentence by this disease. I won’t be able to live to see my son grow up and neither will you mutha’fucka.” Elaine pulled the trigger and shot Patrick in the chest.

  I immediately started screaming and bent down to where Patrick had fallen. He was bleeding profusely and was gasping for air.

  “Bitch you’ll never see the next day either.” Elaine said as she shot me in the back of my head.

  I fell down right next to Patrick and I remember how hard it was for me to breath. I started thinking of how I brought this all on myself by acting as if I didn’t have a care in the world. I heard a third shot go off and then I didn’t feel pain anymore. I fell into a deep sleep.

  EPILOGUE

  Six months later

  I had just finished writing my book and was getting ready to send it off to my publisher. Once I hit the send button, I closed my laptop, and fixed myself a glass of wine to celebrate. I had more to celebrate than just finishing my book; I had the celebration of life because I was still here. It’s been six months since the whole ordeal with Adam, but the scars are still brand new.

  That day when he beat me merciless at his house, I thought for sure that I was dead. Thank God a neighbor heard the commotion and called the cops. All I know was I woke up in the hospital three weeks later and I was coming out of a coma. When Adam hit me with the blow to my head in my temple, it caused bleeding and broke fragments of my skull. Good thing the paramedics got there just in time to rush me to the hospital to have emergency surgery.

  Afterwards the doctor had to put me in a medically induced coma in order for me to recover. I also had to have twenty three stitches in my rectum and twelve stitches above my right eye from when Adam raped and beat me. When I finally woke up, the doctor informed me of my injuries and what’s to come as far as me healing. He also let me know that it’s by the grace of God that I even survived such an ordeal.

  The police later came in and told me that Adam was arrested on the scene and charged with attempted murder, rape, kidnapping and assault. Hasan was at the hospital as well when I woke up. I could tell he was angry about the whole situation. What really tore me up was learning what happen to my best friend. I found out that Michelle and her lover Patrick had been killed by Elaine. Patrick turned out to be Elaine’s husband Brian, whose middle name was Patrick. No wonder Michelle called him that so she could throw me off.

  I never got a glance at him so I honestly didn’t know that she was dating Elaine’s husband. Elaine hired a private detective and that’s how she found out about them. She was so hurt by the betrayal that she snapped. I was so hurt by everything that I went into a state of depression while still in the hospital. I wasn’t even well enough to attend Michelle or Elaine funeral. I lost my best friend and a close friend, and at that point I knew I had also lost my marriage.

  Once I was released from the hospital, I made sure to visit Michelle’s mom and Elaine’s parents to give my condolences. Michelle’s mom was like a second mom to me and was hurting so much over her death, but she was also very glad I survived my ordeal. When I went to see Elaine’s parents they were also hurt by the loss of their daughter. They informed me that God doesn’t make any mistakes and that they had to be strong because they now had a grandchild to raise.

  Once I was home, Hasan thought that it would be best if we separated for a while until he could figure things out. I never argued or begged him to stay. I knew it was hard for him to deal with the whole ordeal of me being nearly killed by my lover that I told him I wasn’t seeing anymore, so I just let him go.

  About a month after Hasan left, I received a letter from Elaine’s mom telling me she found a letter addressed to me from Elaine when she went to clean out her house. I opened the letter and my heart dropped to the bottom of my chest when I read the contents of it. Elaine explained everything to me concerning what she had found out about her husband and Michelle, but when she told me about Hasan and Patrick and contracting HIV I lost it. I re-read the whole letter again just to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I immediately scheduled an appointment with my doctor to take another STD test even though the hospital had administered one right before I was released and everything came back negative. That night I called Hasan over and told him that I needed to talk to him. I let Hope spend the night over a friend’s house so it could just be me and him.

  “How are you?” Hasan greeted me with a kiss on my cheek as I opened the door to let him in.

  “I’m making it.” I replied

  “That’s good, I’m glad you’re healing well.”

  “Thanks. The DA also called and told me that Adam confessed about what he did to me and pleaded guilty. So for the next twenty-five years to life he’ll be behind bars at Fort Leavenworth.”

  Hasan cleared his throat before speaking.

  “Good, justice was served.” Was all he said.

  “Hasan I know what I did was fucked up and I have been paying for it dearly. I almost lost my life because of it and I lost two dear friends of mine. I also felt like I was the only one that completely ruined our marriage, but I soon learned that I wasn’t. We both fucked this marriage up.” I said to Hasan while standing there staring him in his face.

  I wanted to make sure he understood every word I was saying.

  “Really, because I do recall you were the one having an affair Sevyn. An affair you told me that was just a one-time thing, but that was a lie. Guess who looked like a fool when I got the phone call saying that you were at the hospital because you were raped and severely beaten. I didn’t know what to expect when I got there. What really got me was the fact that the man you were fucking was the one that did it to you! I had no idea what the hell the police were talking about when they were questioning me, you, and Adam!”

  “So what about the man you were fucking?” I asked catching Hasan off guard with my question.

  All the color from his face drained.

  “Oh, you look so shocked that I know? Imagine how shocked I was when I found out that you and Elaine’s husband had been fucking since college. I mean y’all even had a nice little getaway place together. I know I did wrong by bringing Adam into our marriage, but you did me wrong way before we got married. To find out I was just a cover up for a lifestyle you were living on the down low was an all-time low Hasan!”

  I was now crying. I have been dealing with some much pain lately that my emotions were never in tact anymore.

  “Sevyn, I’m so sorry.” Hasan told me with his head down.

  I don’t know if he was ashamed or embarrassed.

  “How long have you been having sex with men Hasan?” I asked.

  He sat quiet for a moment quiet, as if he was reflecting on what he was about to say.

  “I haven’t been having sex with men, I only have been having sex with one man, and that’s Brian. We were frat brothers and became close friends. In the careers that we wanted, we knew that we wouldn’t be accepted if people knew we were homosexuals. We both decided that we needed to have that wife and family in order to be successful. One thing we made sure of was to always be careful and protected when being together. All though that was our plan I really do love you Sevyn, but I loved Brian as well.”

  He was now crying. I could tell Brian’s death was hard on him and that he really loved him. Although I was hurt about how he used me, I thanked God he didn’t infect me like Brian infected Elaine. Without Hasan there wouldn’t be my daughter so I will always love him for that.

  “Well it’s obvious that we can’t stay married so I decided the best thing for us to do is just end this amicably. We can come to a custody agreement about Hope and can split everything else which I’m sure wouldn’t be a problem.” I explained to him.

  That night was the beginning of the rest of me and Hasan lives separately. We had a mutual divorce in which he let me keep the house and the money in our savin
gs account. We divided up the money in our mutual checking account and cd’s. He also set up an account for Hope that he puts money into every month for anything she needs so there was no need for child support. He gets her every other weekend and certain holidays. We both are happier now that we have accepted that the fact that we want to live different lives.

  I miss Michelle so much and I also Miss Elaine. I resigned from the school and now work as a counselor at a woman’s shelter. I wanted to help those women who felt like they were never good enough or weren’t satisfied enough with life like me and Michelle. I also helped them to understand that you can’t go around and take advantage of other people feelings, Adam taught me that lesson.

  I realized that Michelle, Elaine, and I all had some hurt and self-esteem issues within ourselves that cost us dearly. I was the only one here to tell our stories in hopes that they can help others. Hopefully my book will also help others understand that no matter what you do in life, or how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along. Always recognize your Love from Lust.