The Everlasting Chapel

by Marilyn Cruise

  I quickly pull over to the side of the road and start to sob uncontrollably. For what feels like an eternity, I just sit and cry, cursing myself for being so unbelievably stupid. I knew it wouldn’t be any different this time. I knew it! But I went ahead anyway. I only have myself to blame. Again. What Michael and I have is too good to be true. It’s not real. It was never and can never be real. It’s a fairytale, and fairytales don’t come true.

  After bawling for what seems an eternity, I grit my teeth, dry my tears, and continue to drive.

  When I arrive at Spencer’s place, he offers me a glass of wine. I immediately break down and start to cry, and being the good friend he is, he wraps his arms around me and tells me again and again that everything will be okay. Spencer’s cologne smells amazing. He looks amazing. He is amazing. I’m glad he’s my friend. I wish I loved him the way I love Michael. Things would be so much easier.

  Once I manage to calm myself, we head over to the living room. He has laid out several movies on the coffee table, ranging from horror, to suspense and action movies. I notice he’s considerate enough to have left out the romance movies, although his bookcase is filled with them.

  “Any requests?” he asks, gesturing to the movies.

  “Can we just talk for a few minutes?” I ask.

  “Of course. Anything you want.” He hands me a box of tissues, and I give him a smile.

  I plunk down onto his sleek, black leather couch and set my drink onto the glass table. He sits next to me. God this man is sexy as hell. Again, I so wish I felt something for him. It would be so much simpler than having to deal with what Michael and I have gone through, and everything we surely will go through in the next few days, weeks, maybe years to come.

  I start by telling Spencer how I saw Michael with Alexa and how I overheard her tell him she was pregnant, and how the dates line up with him being the father.

  “It sounds like he’s going to be a dad, but you never know,” Spencer says.

  I give him a look.

  “You don’t. Not until he has confirmed it.”

  “I don’t need false optimism,” I say. “I just need it straight.”

  “Only Michael can give it to you straight,” he says.

  True. I inch closer to Spencer and nestle up next to him, laying my head on his impossibly firm chest. He reaches an arm around me and strokes my shoulder.

  I lift my head, and kiss him softly once on the lips. Nothing. No spark. No butterflies. Nothing. Dammit.

  “Why couldn’t I have met you before I met Michael?” I say. “Maybe I would have fallen in love with you instead.” I interlace my fingers with his.

  He smiles. “Scarlett. We have fulfilling conversations. You are a wickedly beautiful woman. You are smart and kind and generous. Your body is that of a goddess. Sex is amazing between us.” He sighs.

  “But there’s something missing,” I say, resting my head on his chest again.

  He nods. “I wish there wasn’t. I think you’re…fuck, I adore you. But we were only ever meant to be friends. What you have with Michael is magical. You have to fight for it.”

  I lift my head and look into his green eyes. “How come you’re so pro-Michael all of a sudden?” I say. “He was like…such an ass toward you.”

  “Can’t fault a man for being jealous. I mean, I am pretty good-looking.”

  “Oh, please. You’re so full of yourself.” I give him a shove.

  “With this body, and my moves, yeah, he has a right to be jealous.”

  “But what if he…wants to break up with me?” I ask. “What if…” My voice trails off as my throat tightens.

  “It’s possible,” Spencer says. “But have you considered that he might be just as afraid as you are? Maybe he thinks you will want to break it off with him because he has impregnated another woman.”

  “What?” That thought never even occurred to me. “Michael’s not that way. He just makes a decision and goes with it.”

  “I’d love to keep you here, but you really should go visit him. You need to talk to him about this. Not me. I’d love to hang out. We could even keep our friends with benefits thing going on if you want. God, you gave me an amazing orgasm.” He throws his head back and laughs. “But I don’t want to ruin what you have with him. I mean, unless you don’t want to be with him—then we should be having a different exchange completely.”

  “No. I do want to be with him. No matter what. But, fuck. It’s so complicated!”

  “Love is messy. Love is complicated. You’re going to get hurt. He’s going to get hurt. But would you rather be in a relationship where you felt nothing? Where there was no risk at all of your heart breaking?”

  “No,” I agree reluctantly.

  He stokes my hair, and we sit in silence for some time.

  “I should go see him,” I finally say.

  “You should.”

  I shoot to my feet, and head towards the door.

  “If he wants to break it off, come here for a hell of a good time,” Spencer yells after me.

  “Oh, I definitely will.”

  17

  I speed through the streets and in no time I’m at Michael’s gate. My heart beats so hard in my chest that it feels as if it will come out. Whatever he decides, I will be okay with that.

  I will be just fine. No, you won’t! My alter-ego yells.

  Yes, I will. I have my father. I have Anne. I have Vivian. I have a new job, and I am planning on starting to paint again. Hell, I have three billion dollars in the bank account! And if I need to drown out the pain with a good fuck, I have Spencer. I roll my eyes at myself.

  I zoom up the long driveway, and end up in the courtyard. A valet opens my door.

  “Good evening,” he says, giving me a polite nod.

  I smile. “Is Michael here?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Thank you.”

  I head toward the entrance, feeling unsure of whether I should just walk right in or knock. Suddenly, Michael flings the door open. His hair is messier than usual, and the color in his face is a pale gray. He’s wearing a crisp, white shirt that is folded up to his elbows and open at the neck. A black tie is tied loosely around his neck.

  When his eyes meet mine across the divide, he looks at me as if he has no other choice but to break my heart, and his expression is that of a man who is ready to say good-bye.

  My heart is shattering.

  Without a word, he walks straight toward me, and throws his arms around my frame, clinging to me as if his life depends on it. We stand in silence for several minutes, which only confirms to me that he is ending it. But I want to just stay here for a little while, at least pretending to be ignorant of what’s about to transpire.

  Slowly, he releases me, takes my hand in his, and leads me inside. We don’t say a word. We both know this is coming to an end, but we’re both refusing to acknowledge it. This feels exactly like the night before his mother died, the night I gave him all of me, except for this time, I don’t feel calm and ready to accept whatever happens. I can’t let this end. I won’t! Maybe if we don’t speak it will all just go away, and we can pretend things are different.

  We walk up to his bedroom, and he locks the door. He leads me to the sitting area and I sit down on the couch. I am numb from head to toe.

  He paces a couple of times back and forth, and I watch as he wrestles with himself. Then he looks at me, his eyes pleading.

  He sits across from me, burying his face in his steepled hands. Suddenly, he kneels at my feet, and grabs my hands.

  Looking up into my eyes, he says, “I didn’t want anything to come between us, Scarlett. I finally found you, and…shit. Now everything’s screwed up!”

  The desperation in his eyes sends a jolt of fear through me. He really has decided then.

  “First of all, you have to believe me that I love you! I want you!” he says with so much passion that goosebumps rise on my arms.

  Oh, God, he’s breaking it off even though he st
ill wants me! That makes it so much worse. I feel it deep inside that he loves me, but part of me also feels like I don’t deserve to be this happy. To have a man like this adore me, and that something has to go wrong. And this is it.

  “Tell me what it is you need to tell me,” I say.

  His jaw tenses before he says, “Alexa’s pregnant.”

  “Are you the father?”

  “That’s what she thinks,” he whispers. “But she’s not sure.”

  An ever so small bubble of hope rises inside my chest. “Do you have reason to doubt her?”

  He drags a hand across his face. “It’s complicated.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Just give it to me straight!” My voice is trembling just as much as my hands.

  “Here’s the truth.” He grabs my wrists and looks me in the eyes. “I really cared about Alexa, but she cheated on me. I was the one who broke it off, but I only did it in order to save her from public humiliation, which my mother would surely provide if I gave her the real reason. So I told my mother and everyone that Alexa dumped me. If I had dumped her, my mother would have gone after her to find out exactly why, and everyone would soon know the full story.”

  I remember that’s what he told me when he proposed that ridiculous deal at the Portland Grill, and in the pool. “So you took the flack and spared her.”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?” I ask.

  “Nobody deserves to be treated the way my mother treated them. And the time I was with her, I cared about Alexa. Deeply.”

  His words sting, and there’s a part of me that hates that he ever dated that woman. “And now?”

  “Now…if the child is mine, like she claims, I can’t just abandon them.”

  “So she wants to keep it?” I ask, dreading the answer, the tears flowing down my cheeks as I close my eyes.

  “Yes. She’s almost four months along,” he says.

  “Well, at least that explains why her boobs were so perfect,” I mutter.

  He gets this puzzled look on his face, and then lets out a chuckle. “Scarlett. I only want you.”

  I feel my eyebrows crinkle, but I’m too afraid to hope.

  He sits next to me. “I am grateful to God that it didn’t work out between Alexa and me because now I see how wonderful a relationship can be. I never had the connection with her like I have with you. I never knew I could feel like I’m in the arms of an angel.” He just sits there and gazes at me. “I don’t want to lose you. Please…please don’t leave me because of this.”

  My heart leaps in my chest. “Wait…you’re not breaking up with me?” I ask.

  “Breaking up with you? Are you crazy? I love you more than anything. More than anyone!” he says.

  I hadn’t noticed that I was holding my breath until I am now finally able to exhale.

  “I have wanted to propose to you ever since…we divorced, but I’m just waiting for you to catch up with me, Scar. To be where I’m at.”

  “But if it turns out that you’re the father…” I say.

  “That doesn’t change how I feel about you. I love you! But will you…still want to be with me?” he asks.

  Unable to contain all the myriad of emotions that are storing inside, I start to sob. “I thought…I thought you were going to break it off with me because…I was at the restaurant earlier today and I overheard you and Alexa talking.”

  “Oh, God. So all this time you’ve been thinking I would choose her over you?” he asks.

  I nod.

  He takes my face between his hands. “Nothing will change my mind, do you hear? Michael loves Scarlett. End of story.”

  “And I love you, too,” I say. “I only want to be with you, no matter what.”

  Relief washes over his face. “So you’re okay with it?”

  “Well, I’m still in shock, but all I know is I want you.”

  A crying, laughing noise rises out of his mouth. “God dammit. I’ve been carrying your ring around ever since the day after my mother’s funeral. I went out and bought it right then.”

  My jaw opens.

  “I just wanted to wait for the right moment.” His eyes shine with pure joy. He gets down on one knee, reaches into his pocket, and produces a stunning diamond ring. “Scarlett Hansen. All I see is you. All I can think about is you. When we’re apart, the only thing I can think of is when we’ll be together again. God, you make me scared, and reckless, and wild. I want to give you everything, be your everything. But at the same time, just us two together—is everything. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  I sink to my knees and throw my arms around his neck. Unable to keep our balance, we tumble to the floor, me landing on top of him. I kiss him with everything I have, tasting my tears, which now have turned to tears of joy.

  “Does that mean your answer is yes?” he asks.

  I realize I didn’t actually say the words yet. “Yes! Yes!” I say, smiling. I press my lips to his, kissing him again, all the while laughing, smiling, and crying.

  He caresses my face and slips his tongue into my mouth, immediately awakening the desire in me.

  “I love you so much,” I say. “I was so scared you would choose her.”

  He grips my face and looks me intently in the eyes. “I would never ever choose her. I love you. Only you. But are you sure? Because I might become a father in a few months, and things will definitely become more challenging. You could be a step mother right away,” he says.

  “All I want is to be with you, and if that means we’ll have some challenges, that’s fine,” I say.

  His eyes light up. “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”

  My chest feels like it’s about to explode, it’s so full. “As long as I’m with you, I already am, Michael.”

  He takes my hand and slips the ring on my finger. It fits perfectly.

  “It’s beautiful,” I say, studying it. The heavy white gold ring has a huge princess cut diamond in the center, with baguettes on the side and it sparkles like a thousand stars. “It’s perfect.”

  “Like you,” he says.

  I glance at him. “Oh, please. I am so not perfect and you know it.”

  “You’re perfect for me.”

  “And you’re perfect for me, too.” I dip my head, and press my lips to his, feeling all the anxiety of the day melt away. He weaves his fingers into my hair, and pulls me closer, his firm body fusing with mine. When his tongue delves into my mouth, I start to grow heavy between my legs, and when he starts to unbutton my top, I immediately reach for his belt. I straddle him, and undo the buckle.

  “God, I love you so much,” he says, watching me as I slowly pull the belt out of its loops.

  “I love you,” I say, unbuttoning his pants. I reach down into his briefs and pull his cock out. When I feel the firmness between my fingers, heat pools where I want him. With his pants still on, I scoot back, and press my lips to his tip. He moans the second I bring him all the way in, and when I suck hard, he pulls in a sharp breath.

  “Easy,” he says.

  I drag my tongue down his shaft, all the way down to the base, and gently suck on one of his balls.

  Air hisses between his teeth as he rests his hands on my head, and then he lets out a low, guttural grunt. I wrap my hand around his erection, and start to stroke up and down. Holy hell, it is such a turn on feeling how goddamn hard he is for me.

  Suddenly, he grabs my shoulders and pulls me to the floor so I end up lying on my back. I laugh. He unbuttons my shirt, and I peel out of it. Once he has managed to get me out of my pants, he presses three fingers to my navel and slowly slides them southward until they disappears down the front of my panties. Oh…

  Waiting for him to touch me, I feel as if I’ll lose my mind, and I spasm beneath him, my entire body electrified from his touch. I moan when his fingers finally find my clitoris and as he begins to circle around it—feather light touches—I let out a breathy high-pitched moan.

  “Scarlett,
you’re so swollen, baby,” he says, massaging a little harder, bringing me even more pleasure.

  He dips his fingers into the entrance of my pussy, and strokes upward, the evidence of my arousal coating his fingers and my folds.

  “I love how wet you are.” he says, his fingers dipping into me again. In and out. In and out.

  “Please,” I beg, biting my lip. “I need you inside.”

  “First, I want to taste your sweetness. You would like that, wouldn’t you?” he asks.

  “Yes. I would like that very much.”

  My skin sizzles and my heart wants to fight its way out of my chest. Every word out of his mouth makes me go mad with lust. Every touch hypnotizes my mind so I can think of nothing but him.

  Sucking on him is such a high. Having him suck on me…it turns me into a woman in heat. A woman who would do anything for him in return. A woman who loses all control and all shame.

  He pulls my panties off, and flings them across the room. I bend my knees, and he lowers himself between my legs. At first, he starts to lick me. Slowly. The way his tongue seems to melt with the slick skin between my folds, it drives me to heaven’s door. It’s like ice melting on a scorching day. He twirls the tip of his tongue around and around, right there…right…oh shit.

  I can’t help but let out another moan.

  He sits back, and the way his thick erection sticks out of his boxer briefs and presses against his abdomen, is so fucking sexy. God, the things he can do with that amazing thing. He slips two fingers inside of me, and props his knee against the back of his hand, adding even more pressure to my clitoris.

  Arching my back, a girly cry rises out of my throat.

  “I love being the one who brings you such much pleasure,” he says.

  “Only you, Michael,” I say. “Only you have ever brought me so much…pleasure. No one else.”

  “Good,” he says. While his fingers are still inside of me, he tugs at his tie, loosening it from around his neck. “I want to fuck this sweet pussy on the bed, Scar.”

  My body is screaming at me, saying I have to have him right now, but somehow I manage to nod. He draws his fingers out of me, lifts me up, and carries me over to the bed. He tosses me on the bed as if he’s in a hurry and can’t wait to get inside me, and in seconds, he’s kneeling between my legs, holding his cock in his hands. I reach for his erection and slide him into my opening as I raise my knees and clamp them tightly on his hips.