Into the Fire

by T A. McKay

  “Noah! Noah! Stop right this minute. Don't you dare leave this house!” I can't help but laugh, it’s been a long time since I lived with my parents but I'm pretty sure I was never once forbidden to leave the house. I grab my keys, wallet, and jacket, getting ready to leave. I'm done with all this. The only thing that’s on my mind just now is getting to Madison, making sure she is safe and not hurt. No matter what we have been through, even though we haven't spoken in a while she’s the only thing that’s important to me.

  “I mean it, Noah. If you walk out that door we’re done. I'm sick of coming second to her. No matter what it is, you always run to her. I'm your fiancé but I think you love her more. So now you have to choose, make your decision, Noah, Madison or me?” I turn and look at Judi, totally void of emotions. I thought this moment would make me feel something, some sort of sorrow or pain but there’s nothing.

  “I will be back in about a week. That gives you time to get your stuff packed and leave before I get home. I'm sorry for everything, I shouldn't have dragged this out for as long as I did, I never should have let it go so far.” That’s it. It’s finally done. The first step in reclaiming my life. I smile, the feeling of relief flowing through my body. I quickly realise my mistake when Judi slaps me.

  “You arsehole. After all this time that’s how you end it? With a smile and telling me to pack my things. I’ve done so much for you, I made you who you are today. You wouldn't have your job if it weren’t for my father, he was the one who noticed you and told Mr Tate. You owe me more than this! What do I get for all the time I gave you?” I want to point out that I had the job before I met her. That I was already living in London, in this house, but it’s not a fight I want. I’m willing to give her everything if it gets her out of my life.

  “Take what you want from the house. I don't want any of it, take what you think you deserve. This was never the life I wanted, never the life I dreamed of. I always thought I would find a job I loved, settle down with a woman I loved and have kids. I never wanted power or money, or for people to kiss the ground I walk on because of what I could do for them. So you take what you want, but please be gone before next weekend.” Without giving her a chance to respond I walk out the front door and towards the rest of my life.

  Madison

  I glance at the clock for about the hundredth time since I called Noah. I know it will take him a good few hours to get here but part of me hopes he’ll arrive sooner. I’m sitting on my bed with my duvet wrapped around me, my body aches but the worst bit is the memories. The attack keeps flashing through my mind and nothing seems to make it stop. The feeling of the hand over my mouth, trying to scream for help but not being able to. I was completely at the guy’s mercy and I’ve never been so scared in my life.

  I was released from the hospital this morning. I’d been knocked out my attacker and when I came to I was already at the hospital. I had been found just after the attack, someone had heard my scream and come to see what was happening. Thank God they did or I could have been there all night. They were starting to worry about head trauma when I wouldn’t wake up, I had been out cold for almost six hours. I had been sent for scans while I was unconscious but they all came back clear so it was a waiting game. I had woken up early this morning and had to go throw another batch of tests. The first thing I did was ask for a phone but they wouldn’t let me call anyone until after all the checks came back clear. I needed to call Noah, I needed him. He has always been my strength through times like this, the person who I can lean on.

  I'm an only child so I never had a sibling to turn to, the only family member who was there for me was my father. I hadn’t lived with him since I was young but he was always there when my mum abandoned me for one of her men. The only important person in her life was herself, but my dad gave me enough love for both of them. When my dad died in a car crash a few years after I left school I was distraught, but Noah had been there for me the whole time, never leaving my side for nearly a month until I was back to myself and living my life again. I fell in love with him even more through that time in my life, the fact I never had to tell him how I felt, he just knew. I have always felt that he is the only family I need.

  Tash was there when I woke up, the hospital having called her from my emergency contacts in my purse. She was the only local number, and they needed someone to make decisions if I didn’t wake up. She has been great, holding my hand while I went through every test and was prodded for hours, but all I wanted was Noah. I feel guilty that she isn’t enough, she really is one of my best friends but I just I just don’t feel as safe with her as I do with Noah. She finally gave me her mobile phone when we were waiting on the discharge papers for me to sign. When Judi answered and told me I couldn't speak to Noah, I swear my heart stopped for a second. That’s when the tears had started, I’d been composed up until then, telling the police the whole story and a description of the attacker. When she refused to let me speak to him the dam broke, all the emotion I’d been holding inside flooded free. When I heard his voice I just couldn't speak, it was like his arms were around me and I felt safe.

  I'm pulled from my memories by banging on my front door. I quickly untangle myself from my duvet and rush down the hall, ignoring my body that’s screaming at me in pain. I check through the peephole and feel the tears build in my eyes when I see Noah on the other side of the door. I fumble, trying to unlock the door as quickly as possible until finally manage to get it open and throw myself into his arms. He catches me as I wrap myself around his body, instantly bursting into tears. I feel him move under me, but I just hold on tighter and let him do what he is going to do. He’s here and that’s the only thing I care about. I breathe in his smell, letting it settle my nerves that have been on edge since the attack. He smells like home to me, always has.

  The sound of his footsteps vanish and I know he’s taking me back to my bedroom, it’s the only room in the house that doesn't have wooden floor. I open my eyes and see him moving towards my bed. When I feel his hold on my body slacken I tighten my arms, not wanting to let him go. He laughs softly before he lowers us both onto my bed, keeping his arms wrapped around me. I snuggle in closer to his chest, wanting nothing more than to forget the world and just lie here in his arms.

  “Do you want to talk about it? Tell me what happened.” I shiver when I remember what happened, I know I need to tell him but I don't know where to start. I want to tell him about everything but I know he’s going to be so pissed off at me.

  “Stop trying to work out what to tell me. Just start at the beginning and don't miss anything out.” Damn, I wish he didn't know me as well as he did. I turn slightly, needing to see his face when I tell him, I need to see how he’s taking it.

  “You’re going to be angry at me.” I know he will. He has always told me he doesn't want me to park in the car park, told me if he found out that I was parking there he would retire and drive me to work every day.

  “I'm listening.” His arms tighten gently around me, making me feel better about reliving the story.

  “I was going home after work. I’d parked at the car park a few streets over.” I feel his arms tighten around me further but he doesn't say anything and I'm thankful that he’s letting me finish without shouting at me.

  “I was just about at my car when I was grabbed. I wasn't paying attention and he grabbed me.” I can feel my body start to tremble with the memories, but I keep talking, tears burning the back of my throat. I lose my courage and stare down at my hands while I tell the rest of the story.

  “He covered my mouth with his hand, I couldn’t do anything, Noah. I swear I thought he was going to rape me or murder me or … or both. He ended up only stealing my car keys but not before he knocked me to the ground and punched me a few times. A little old lady found me and called the police.” I sit quietly and wait for Noah to say something, anything but I’m met with silence. I chance a look up at him and I wish I hadn’t. He has a furious look on his face, dark eyes and his jaw is clenc
hed.

  “Please say something, Noah.” He glowers at me, still saying nothing.

  “I’m so fucking pissed at you right now. How many times have I told you not to fucking park there? But noooooo… you know better don't you?” I can almost feel the anger vibrating from him as he continues to stare at me. I don't answer him, being pretty sure that he doesn't actually want an answer just now.

  “Did they catch the guy who did it? Because I want to kill him for putting his hands on you. No one touches what’s mine.” I blink a few times trying to make sense of what he’s just said. No one touches what's his? Am I his? I know he’s angry and he probably meant something very different than what came out of his mouth, but still it makes my heart beat faster. I lean my head against his chest, snuggling in close to him. He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on my head.

  “I was so scared, Madison. All I could think about on the drive here is how badly you were hurt, how if something had taken you away from me I hadn't had the chance to tell you I'm sorry. I am so sorry for what happened, I never should have treated you that way. I pray that you can forgive me.” I try to answer him, I really do, but the sound of his voice as he talks has me relaxing against him. My body is telling me I need to sleep, that it’s been through more than usual and it needs to recover. My eyes have slipped shut and I can't get them to open, the feel like that have been glued shut.

  I feel Noah move his body down the bed so we’re almost lying flat. I end up lying on top of his chest since I refuse to let him go. I feel him kiss my head and hold me tighter.

  “Sleep, Angel. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Before sleep takes me I manage the words that even after all this time I truly mean.

  “I love you, Noah.”

  Noah

  I have so many feelings running through my body right now. When she had opened the door and I’d seen her face, I just wanted to find who had done this to her and kill him. I'm not a violent person but no one hurts the people I love. She had a huge bruise across her face, obviously left by the fucker who’d attacked her. I was ready to lose it until she jumped into my arms. When I was holding her, all I could think about was making her feel better, making her feel safe. Listening to her telling me about the attack had me wanting to punch something again, I have never known anger like I did then. The only thing that calmed the raging beast inside me was holding her in my arms, feeling her melt against my chest cleared those thoughts from my head. That’s why I had made the comment about her being mine, because that’s how I will always see her. She’s mine and no one else’s. I hadn't meant to make the comment and thankfully she didn't notice it. It would have led to a conversation I didn't want to have just now.

  Lying here with her in my arms is like a dream come true. I never thought she would speak to me again after what happened between us, so her allowing me to hold her is a gift I won’t miss out on. She’s warm and soft against the length of my body and I’m trying not to focus on it, it’s making my body harden and that’s the last thing I need. If she wakes to find me with a hard on I won’t know how to explain it. I'm here for her comfort, not my enjoyment. I grab my phone and send a text to Rocco, trying to distract myself.

  “I’m in town. Madison was attacked, she’s fine but I'm here with her. I need to talk to you tomorrow, I have news.”

  I need to sort out what I’m going to do as soon as I can. I know I can't stay here forever, there’s a lot to sort out and it all depends on what happens tomorrow with Rocco. My phone vibrates in my hand and I open Rocco’s reply.

  “Holy shit. Is she ok? Text me in the morning when you get up and I’ll come round to catch up.”

  That’s Rocco all over. He would drop anything for me, he’s always had my back. I just hope when we talk he will have my back and be on board with my idea.

  “Perfect. Will see you tomorrow, Bro.”

  I put my phone back in my pocket and snuggle into Madison some more. There’s no way I'm moving her from my arms tonight so I may as well get some sleep. I close my eyes and I can't help the smile that is on my face as I drift off to sleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  Noah

  I open the door and smile when I see Rocco standing there. When he text earlier to say he was on his way, I told him that Madison was still sleeping so he hadn’t knocked, but I’d been watching out the window for him. I don't want Madison disturbed, she needs as much rest as possible to heal, and also I want to talk to Rocco without her. I will tell her everything that’s happening but not yet, not until I have everything sorted out. The less stress she has the better.

  “Good morning.” Rocco hands me a cup of coffee and pulls me into a hug. After returning his hug, I pull back and walk towards the kitchen, taking a large drink from the coffee.

  “Thanks for this, I haven't had my required ten cups yet.” Rocco laughs as he follows me to the kitchen table, both of us taking a seat.

  “So how’s she doing?” I sit back in the chair, getting comfortable.

  “She’s ok, a bit shook up but not bad considering. You should see her face though, she’s all beat up and bruised.” I can feel my hands clenching around the coffee cup, anger building inside me again as I think about it. Waking up with her in my arms this morning had been the best start to a day I’ve had in years. I had slept better than I had in months, waking refreshed and ready to start the first chapter in my new life. The only problem was feeling Madison in my arms. It made it so I hadn't wanted to move, wanted to lie there all day just feeling her against me.

  “What actually happened?” I tell Rocco everything that Madison told me, and by the time I'm finished I'm pacing the floor trying to stop me from throwing something in anger.

  “Wow, she’s lucky to get away with only a few bruises. So how long are you planning on staying here with her, how long can you get off work?” I stop walking and take a deep breath. Now is the time to lay it all out. I walk back to the table and take a seat again but my legs stay restless with the urge to continue pacing.

  “I can stay as long as she needs me, there’s no rush to get back.” Rocco’s hand stops halfway to his face, holding his cup in mid-air and his mouth hanging open. I laugh as I watch him process what I just said. I’ve never been here without a deadline to be home, no meeting or contract that needed to be finished.

  “I think there might be a story with that answer, care to fill me in?” He finally puts his cup to his lips and takes a drink, waiting for me to start. I take a drink of my own coffee, letting the minutes slip by.

  “Oh for the love of God, Noah. Will you tell me what’s going on?” I laugh before explaining.

  “I’m looking for a new job...and possibly somewhere new to live.” Rocco’s eyes widen as he listens but he stays quiet, letting me work on telling him.

  “So I have this idea. Lets say, for example, someone had some spare cash and wanted to help you expand the garage. Say to start working on cars as well as the bikes. Do you think that’s something that you and Mason would be interested in? But not a silent partner, someone who actually works at the garage and helps.” He still doesn't say anything as he watches me, like he’s trying to work something out in his head. He reaches into his jeans pocket and removes his mobile. He does something on the screen and holds it to his ear, obviously making a call.

  “Rocco?” He holds up his hand, silencing me. I sit quietly, wondering who he's calling, wondering if I just made a huge mistake. I wish he would just answer my question.

  “Hey, Mason. You got two minutes to talk? Yeah, I know. Okay, just a quick question. Would you be interesting in expanding the garage? Yeah, Noah wants to become a partner, maybe start working on cars. Yeah. Uh huh, that’s what I was thinking. Ok, speak to you this afternoon. Later.” The whole conversation takes only a few minutes in total, and there really isn't much discussion between the two about my proposition.

  “Ok, Mason’s in. So how do we move forward?” I sit with my mouth open in shock. How can they just decide li
ke that? They haven't looked into a business plan, or if it’s a financially sound plan.

  “Just like that? You don't want to see if it will be profitable to start expanding and do cars?” I can't help but question his agreement, I don't want him just to do this because I'm his brother.

  “Noah, I don't think you realise that me and Mason have always wanted you to join us in the garage. We know you know nothing about bikes, but you know cars better than most people I know. To be able to finally open the books up to the customers who call about car renovations will make us a small fortune. Is this something you really want though? You have a good job in London, and you're going to be married. Will Judi be happy to move here?” It’s time to tell Rocco the full story. I wonder how he will take it when he finds out I left it all.

  “None of that will be a problem. Judi won’t be moving with me and my job won’t need any sort of notice.” Now it’s Rocco’s turn to be left with his mouth open. I reach over the table and push against his chin, closing his mouth.

  “You don't want to be catching any flies there.” He laughs and hits my hand away from his mouth.

  “Fuck you, Noah. You know trying to get information out of you these days is like pulling teeth. I can tell there’s something you aren’t telling me, and I don't want to push but I want to know what it is. I'm your brother, Noah. I want to make sure you're ok.” I smile at him, but this smile feels different. I’ve made it my job over the last couple of years to smile no matter what I'm feeling. I’ve mastered the fake smile, but now I feel like I'm really smiling. I’m about to tell Rocco that I’ve lost everything, my job, my fiancé, and I really couldn’t be happier about it. I smile when I think about everything that’s changed in my life, I’ve finally started working towards what I actually want to achieve.