by T A. McKay
Noah
I’d been so close to telling Madison that I loved her, that I wanted to be the father of her children. I'm glad now that Mason had interrupted us. I can just imagine how she would have reacted if I had dropped that bombshell on her. We aren’t even in a relationship, so to tell her I want to be the father of her kids is maybe a little fast. If I want to convince her that she should be with me again then I'm going to have to take my time, take it gently and smoothly. I can’t just jump in with huge declarations of love. That is sure to send her running to the hills. But watching her looking at the picture of Quinn, the tears running down her cheeks had made me want to grab her and never let go. When I looked into her eyes I felt trapped, like I couldn’t be the first one to break eye contact. I’d wanted to kiss her so badly, to feel my lips on her as her tears fell. I felt my heart rate speed up as I stood and looked at her, my dick getting hard with all the thoughts going through my head. When I’d spoken I had heard the need in my voice. I hoped she hadn’t noticed, but her pupils had dilated when I had spoken, I'm sure they had. Seeing things that aren’t there are going to get me into trouble, I can’t be led by my dick, it will get me into so much trouble.
We get home well after midnight. Who knew having a baby could take so much time. Madison had fallen asleep in the car on the way home, so she’s now on auto pilot trying to get herself to bed. She has walked into the doorframe of the front door and is currently sliding down the hall wall towards her room. I laugh as I watch her, I don’t think she has opened her eyes since she left the car. Her shoulder reaches the door of her room and when she leans against it, it opens and she disappears through it. A thud follows, and I laugh again, heading towards my room.
I'm removing my jeans when I hear Madison calling through to me.
“Noah?” I fold my jeans and walk towards her bedroom door. I lean against the doorframe, crossing my arms over my chest. She’s sitting up in her bed with her legs crossed and the duvet covering her up to her waist.
“What’s up, Angel?” She looks over to me with a shy little smile on her face.
“I'm not tired now. Want to watch a movie?” I laugh to myself, wondering where the zombie that entered her room a few minutes ago had gone.
“You want to watch a movie now? At this time of night?” The smile on her lips fades and she looks down at her hands.
“Sorry, I didn’t think about the time. I’ll just read a little and see if that helps.” I wonder what’s going through her head. Never has she looked so awkward around me, like she isn’t sure how to act. I go back to my room and turn off the light before returning to her room. I pull back the duvet and get into the bed beside her. I turn her face towards me, keeping her face cupped in my hands.
“Madison? Look at me.” She lifts here face and her eyes reach mine.
“I'm kidding, Angel. You know anytime you want to spend time together I'm here.” I see a smile twitching the side of her lips and I start to relax a bit. I don’t like the idea of her feeling awkward with me, especially when I don’t know why. I let go of her face and lie back on the pillow, getting myself comfortable with my hands behind my head.
“So, what’re we watching?” I know it won’t matter what we’re watching, Madison obviously wants to talk but doesn’t want to come out and tell me. I think it might have something to do with her comment earlier, her saying that she needs to find someone to love her. I thought about that the whole drive home, about her not feeling like someone can love her. She’s the most loveable person I know, always looking for the best in people even when they do her wrong. I mean I’m still her best friend even though I put her through hell, breaking her heart. She forgave me and became the most important part of my life.
She moves from the bed and puts a DVD into the player, turning back to me with a huge smile on her face. That smile isn’t a good smile, I don’t know what movie she has put on but I have a feeling that I'm not going to like it.
“What did you just put in? What nightmare am I about to watch?” Her smile grows and I know I'm about to be in for a world of pain. I can almost feel the ovaries start to grow in my body. She doesn’t answer me but just climbs back into bed with that smile on her face, not putting at me ease at all. The opening title appears and I let out an audible moan. Again?
“Seriously, Madison? The Lucky One again?” I swear we have watched this movie nearly a hundred times since it came out. The first time I watched it I thought it was all right, but now I swear it makes my eyes bleed.
“I love this movie, it’s so romantic. Stop being a grump and just enjoy it.” I pull her pillow from under her and hit her over the head with it. I hear her giggle from under the pillow that I’ve left on top of her face. I get comfortable again and prepare to not watch the film.
We watch in silence for about twenty minutes before she feels comfortable enough to talk to me. I knew if I just gave her the time she needed she would get to the point of telling me what was bothering her.
“Do you ever think about your future? Where you want to be in five years time.” I turn my head to look at her, surprised at the topic that she’s chosen. I go along with her, thinking if I can see myself in five years. After the last few days I don’t know what I want from life. Actually that’s a lie, I know I want her.
“I think that’s an unfair question, don’t you, Madison?” I let out a laugh, letting her know I'm only teasing her.
“Up until a few days ago I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I knew where my life was going, but now it’s a blank sheet. I think I will just spend some time enjoying life again before I make a plan. I’m about to start a job I will love, and move in here, that’s enough for me for now.” I want nothing more than to tell her I want her, I want to spend every single day of my life being free to kiss her, to touch her but I can’t. She doesn’t want me like that and I can’t blame her, every time she has let me close I’ve hurt her, and last time I didn’t have youth as an excuse.
She gives me a small smile, and I can see her getting stuck in her thoughts.
“Come on the, spill it. Tell me what has had you so preoccupied since this afternoon.” She turns her eyes away from me, but not before I see them glistening with unspent tears.
“I don’t know. It was just seeing how happy Mason was, it made me realise I have nothing. Have you seen the way Rocco looks at Makenzie? Or the way Mason looks at Niamh? It’s like the sun rises and sets with them, the love they have is undeniable. I don’t think I will ever have anyone feel like that with me.” She reaches up and wipes the tears from her eyes. I shift my position until I'm sitting in front of her, I reach out and gently cup her chin, making her look at me. I can see the pain deep in her eyes. If she honestly thinks no one feels that way about her, the she’s crazy. All she needs to do is look deep into my eyes to find a man who would stop the tide for her if he could.
“Madison, you are so very wrong. I know you’re going to find someone who will give you the world. Give you that family that you want. Have you maybe thought that you are looking too hard, maybe you need to look a bit closer to home?” Just as I'm about to give into my need to be hers and kiss her, her phone rings. I let out a groan and drop my hands from her face, letting her turn away from me. I re-adjust my dick, trying to hide how hard it is, but with the thoughts of her lips running through my head it’s impossible.
She holds up a finger before leaving the room, but not before I hear her saying hello to her mother. Just when the night was going so well.
Madison
“What do you want?” I know people think I’m a bitch to my mum, but she has put me through hell since I was old enough to realise that she was only interested in herself. I’ve pretty much raised myself since I was eight or nine. My mum is a very loving person, unfortunately the love has only been for other people, namely the gentlemen friends that she has. I don’t think my mum ever planned to have me, I was just a black mark on her timeline that she wishes she could erase. The thing I never unde
rstood is she would never let me go live with my dad, it was like she didn’t want me but she didn’t want him to have me either. The only time she ever calls me now is when she wants something.
“Is that any way to speak to your mum? I raised you better than that, Madison.” I can’t hold in the laugh that bubbles up my throat. Is she kidding?
“You didn’t raise me, Diane, my father did. You occasionally came home to make sure I was alive, that was it. So I repeat, what do you want?” I just want this call over and done with so I get back to Noah. I was finally going to be brave enough to tell him how I felt, that I want my future with him, but she ruined the moment and I don’t think we will get it back again. I hear her huff down the line and I’m getting close to hanging up on her.
“Fine, but I don’t think there is any need to be like this. I was just wondering if I could come and stay for a few days, just until I find somewhere else to live.” Now I really do laugh. She must have nerves of steel calling me for a place to stay.
“I take it the last Mr Right didn’t work out? Well I'm sorry I don’t have a spare room anymore, I have a roommate. If that’s everything I'm going.” I need to get her off the phone before I lose it completely with her.
“Madison, wait! That’s it? Just I have roommate so no? I don’t have anywhere to go, I’ll be homeless. I can sleep on your couch.” If I honestly thought she had no place to go I would give in, but my mum is one of those people who always land on their feet. They always have someone who will help her get back on her feet, or should that be onto her back.
“Look, Diane. You call me in the middle of the night and expect me to just drop everything for you? It doesn’t work like that. You’re a grown woman, go and sort yourself out. I refuse to help you this time.” I press the end call button and let out a deep sigh. She always has this way of getting under my skin. Within a few words I want to throw something, preferably at her. She has it in her head that she gave me this amazing childhood, but the truth is the only day to day joy in my life started when I met the Cole brothers and then in turn Mason. Noah gave me the attention I needed when I couldn’t be with my dad. Maybe that’s why I fell for him so badly?
I walk back to my room and climb under the duvet, pulling it up over my head. I feel Noah trying to tug it down and I hold on tighter.
“Was it that bad?” He knows what I have been through with her. He was there for me when I had gone days without eating. I remember the first time I was sitting at lunch with him, my belly rumbling with the smell of the food all around me. He thought it was funny to begin with, but when he found out I hadn’t eaten since the day before he went crazy. He made me sit at the dinner table, not letting me leave until I finished his lunch and also the one he bought for me. I felt sick by the time I was finished eating, but strangely I had never felt more cared for. No one had ever taken the time before to make sure that my stomach was full. After that I was at his house almost nightly to eat and there was always money in my locker come lunchtime.
“Oh you know my darling mother. She has lost her shine with the flavour of the month and now needs somewhere to stay. I told her that unfortunately I had a new roommate that wouldn’t appreciate her staying in his bed.” I turn to Noah and give him a smile. He always seems to be able to calm me, even when he doesn’t do anything.
“I can leave if it makes it easier for you, or I could share your bed and she could take mine.” I know he’s joking but I know there must be a look of panic on my face when he bursts out laughing.
“I'm kidding. Would I really leave you to deal with Dizzy Diane? Okay, it’s funny watching you trying not to kill her…or hurt her in any way but I’m not suggesting you let her stay.” I pick up my pillow and throw it at him.
“I'm so glad my suffering makes you so amused, you little shit. I thought you were on my side.” I can hear him laughing before the pillow is thrown back at me.
“I am, I am. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy a little discomfort. You know all about that so don’t lie.” I repress a smile, knowing very well that there have been times that watching Noah suffer has made a day perfect.
“I don’t know what you mean. Not once has there been a time that I have revelled in your discomfort. Not even the time that you got a boner in swimming class and Mr Jones called on you to demonstrate the perfect dive.” Noah lunges across the bed at me, grabbing me before I can escape. His hands find their way under my arms, even though I have them pinned to my sides with all my strength. He suddenly stops and sits back on his knees. I pull my top down and sit up, wondering why he suddenly stopped. He’s looking down at the bed with his hands on his knees, he looks like he’s in pain and he’s worrying me slightly.
“Noah?” He looks up and lets out a deep breath, his hand coming up to touch the side of my face.
“I'm sorry, I forgot. I could have hurt you again. I’m such an idiot.” I laugh gently, using my hand to hold his against my face. I honestly haven’t thought about my sore face all day. Most of the pain is gone, only the bruise remains.
“It’s not painful anymore. You weren’t hurting me. Stop worrying so much about me, I'm not that breakable. Don’t use my face as an excuse to stop, I know it’s because you could feel I was gonna win this fight.” He looks at me and I give him a little wink. His laughter vibrates straight through me where we are touching and it makes my heart melt. I hate when he feels guilty, he puts too much pressure on himself to be perfect and he needs to stop. If he were anymore perfect I'm pretty sure the Gods would want him back.
“Come on, Angel. It’s time to get some sleep.” With those words he pulls the duvet over us once we are lying down and turns off the TV. I lie on my side to get comfortable, and as I’m drifting off I feel his lips on my forehead, kissing me gently.
“Good night, Beautiful.”
Chapter Fourteen
Madison
I’m so hot. I feel like I’m lying next to the sun and its heat is pressing into my back. I try to roll away but I feel a pressure around my waist not letting me move. I open my eyes, trying to focus on my surroundings. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in my own bed last night but my room is always cold in the morning, the sun doesn’t hit it until the afternoon. That’s when I realisation hits me. Noah. It’s like he can hear the thoughts in my head as he pulls me right in to his body. I snuggle into his body, pushing back against him. I feel him snuggling in closer, his nose in my hair breathing deeply. I close my eyes, promising myself that I will just enjoy the feeling for a minute before I move. I open my eyes when I feel Noah’s hand moving up over my stomach from my hip. His touch creating goose bumps all over my body and his hand continues to move higher, cupping gently over the bottom of my breast, his thumbs rubbing over my now erect nipple. My heart is racing and I’m totally torn. My head is telling me to stop what’s happening, that I’m only going to get hurt again, but my heart and other parts of my body are screaming out for it to continue.
I feel him push harder into my back, the noticeable hardness in his boxers fitting in between my arse cheeks. I supress the moan that tries to escape, this isn’t the time to let my body take over. I need to stop this, I need to be the voice of reason and move away from him. The only problem is, it feels so damn good. The memories of our last time together resurface in my mind, making the muscles in my stomach tighten in anticipation.
His lips come into contact with my neck, leaving wet trails as he kisses me. My breathing stutters, and I can feel my control starting to slip. I reach my hand around my body and place it on Noah’s hip, pulling him closer. I feel him grind into me, rubbing his erection on me and letting out a groan that has my heartbeat spiking. He’s everything I want, everything about him screams male.
I get ready to turn around and face him, let him take me even though I know it will go nowhere afterwards. We both obviously have an itch we need scratched, friends with benefits could be fun.
It takes a few moments to realise there’s a ringing. Not like a phone, more l
ike … a doorbell! Shit. I forgot that Tash said she was coming around this morning. I sit upright in bed, throwing the duvet off before jumping out of bed. I turn to see Noah sitting up, his hair sticking up and looking as sexy as sin, but the most noticeable thing is what’s in his boxers. I hear a cough and my eyes move up to his face like a flash. Damn, he caught me staring at his erection like some damn hormonal teenager. I turn and race from my room, shouting over my shoulder.
“Someone’s at the door.” I cringe realising what a stupid thing that was to say, like he didn’t realise that’s what a ringing doorbell means.
I rush to the door and open it, finding a smiling Tash on my doorstep. She looks over me from head to toe.
“I take it I just woke you up? Are you feeling alright, you look kinda flushed?” She reaches her hand out and holds it to my forehead. I hit it away before walking towards the kitchen, my hands trying to tame the mess that I know my hair must be in.
“I’m fine, you just woke me up. I had to rush to the door to answer it.” I fill the kettle with water and turn it on. I’m going to need coffee to get me through this. I'm still facing the sink when I hear the toilet flush, making me drop my head. This is not going to enjoyable. I turn slowly and take in Tash’s face. She is standing with wide eyes and her mouth open in a large ‘O’. I’m about to talk when Noah walks out of the hall in just his boxer shorts. He’s yawning and running his hands through his hair, making it very obvious that he has just woken up. I look at Tash, and if possible her eyes have gotten even wider. I need to get her attention before she says something…
“Holy shit, Noah. You’re like some freaking God. Is that body even real? Madison, seriously, why aren’t you hitting that?” Embarrassing. Yeah, definitely too late. I take a quick look at Noah, noticing the blush on his cheeks. At least I'm not the only one that’s feeling awkward. I know that I’m blushing, and I'm pretty sure I might spontaneously combust any minute. I turn away from the both, needing a minute to try and gain some composure.