by T. K. Chapin
He spent the remainder of the trip, roughly six hours, listening to the Bible. He listened to the book of Luke and a lot of the Epistles that Paul wrote. As he listened to the same Scriptures he had heard a lifetime ago, they were emboldened with new life, new color and purpose. Things made sense now in a different light than he had previously seen them. Everything he heard was coming to life in a new way. By the time he pulled into his driveway the next morning, he shut off his car with a new perspective on life and a renewed respect for Jesus Christ.
The sun was barely coming up as he pulled a sleeping Rose from her car seat. He smiled and gently kissed her forehead. When he came back out to grab their luggage after laying Rose down, he saw Kylie’s car round the corner down the street. His heart flinched.
Knowing he needed a replacement, after a much-needed nap, he spent the rest of the day on a website that was dedicated to sourcing babysitters. He found a few he liked and set up interviews with them over the course of the next few weeks. He managed to find one in particular that he really liked, and she got along well with Rose. Her name was Stephanie. She was twenty-three years old and had a year’s worth of experience at a daycare. Everything was going to be okay without Kylie, at least on a working level.
Chapter 34
SIX WEEKS AFTER ARRIVING HOME from Olympia, Kylie went into Grandma Faith’s bedroom to wake her for dinner. Walking up to the side of her bed, she gently placed a hand on her shoulder.
“It’s time for dinner, Grandma.”
There was no response. She checked to see if she was breathing to find she wasn’t. Kylie’s eyes moistened with tears and her legs weakened. Sitting down on the bed beside her, Kylie let reality set into her soul. The woman who had taught her everything she knew in life had relocated in her sleep. She was thankful that she went peacefully while napping, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Wiping her eyes, she peered up at the ceiling of the room and prayed out loud. “She’s Yours now, Lord.”
Jenny came in a few moments later. “The food is getting cold. What is going on?” Kylie turned to her with wet eyes and Jenny stopped her steps near the end of the bed. Frowning, she looked at Kylie. “She’s gone.”
Nodding, Kylie left the bed and rushed over to Jenny. Throwing her arms around her in a warm embrace, they comforted each other in their moment of loss.
Having known that she was on her way out, Grandma Faith had prepared her exit to the utmost. She had a will in place, and the house was to be sold, the proceeds being split among the eight girls she had adopted from her years as a foster parent. She had also set apart money for a proper burial with no expense unpaid. Not only did she leave behind a legacy and her faith to the children she had raised in The Faith House, but she made sure her death wouldn’t inconvenience anybody. The most shocking part of it all to Kylie was the funeral.
Droves of cars showed up for the funeral service. Hundreds of women, both young and old, showed up to pay their respects. Many took turns getting up in front of the church to share how Evelynn Faith had impacted their lives. Every person who got up to speak about her couldn’t help but mention her faith in Jesus Christ. Through the tear-filled service, Kylie couldn’t explain it, but she felt a yearning in her soul for Jonathan to be by her side.
She hadn’t prepared or planned to say anything at the service but felt inclined toward the end to do so. Standing up, she went down the aisle and up to the pulpit where the microphone was located. Her eyes glistened with tears as she peered at the casket only a few feet away. Lifting her gaze to the audience, she could hear the faint sound of somber cries and broken hearts.
“I was one of the girls who came to The Faith House. I remember I was only seven years old when I came there. I was troubled and unloved when I showed up on that doorstep, but she loved me anyway. When I left The Faith House years later to marry my first husband, I remember her warning me about him. She was right, like she always tended to be. But you know what? She still took me back in. My relationship with Grandma Faith reminds me so much of our relationship, or my relationship more specifically, with the Lord. We accept, we love, and then we run away and do our own thing. Then we come back and feel like an idiot, but He is there waiting for us and still loving us.” Kylie paused, dabbing her eyes with a tissue from the pulpit. “Grandma Faith taught me everything I know, and even though she’s gone now, she’s left so much love behind. She changed my life forever by introducing me to God-sized love, and I’m eternally thankful for her. If it wasn’t for her, I’d be on my way to Hell, I’m sure of it.” Her eyes fell to the casket a few feet away. With tears in her eyes and a cracking voice, she said, “I love you, Mom.”
Chapter 35
ON HER DRIVE TO WORK at Petco a little over a year later, Kylie was praying and thinking about how blessed she was in life. She was only months away from completing her college courses and had already put in an application to a local Christian school in Spokane. They weren’t hiring right now, but they said they would keep her resume on file. Her job at Petco had been going great and she was even promoted a few months back for her hard work and drive that she showed in the store. Peter was growing a little more every day, and she was too.
Suddenly, her phone rang.
It was an unknown but local number. She knew it could be the school, but more realistically, it was probably the apartment complex she had submitted an application to a week ago. She answered the call.
“This Kylie Hawthorne?”
“It is.”
“Great. This is Chantel with Saddlewood Apartments. I have a question about your application, if you have a moment.”
“Okay, go ahead.” Kylie pulled into the parking lot of Petco and parked in a parking stall in the back row.
“Did whoever showed you the apartment go over the move-in costs to live here?”
“Yes, first and last month’s rent with a $600 deposit.”
“Yep. That’s it.”
“So I got the apartment?”
“Yes!”
“Yay!” Kylie’s eyes glistened with tears of joy. “Thank you so much!”
Hanging up with the apartment manager, relief overwhelmed her and she thanked God in prayer. She loved living with Savannah, but it had been difficult sharing a home with her. Peter was getting more active by the day and needed a place of his own to move about freely. This would be the perfect place to live for the two of them, and it was only a block away from his daycare.
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After work and picking up Peter, she got home and broke the news to Savannah. They danced around in circles, then sat down on the couch.
“You’re finishing up your degree in Early Childhood Education next month, have a new place to live, and recently got a promotion at work. How could life get any better?” Savannah’s question was rhetorical, but that didn’t stop a certain person from entering her mind. Jonathan still came up often in her mind, almost daily. Her feelings for him had dulled over time, but they were still there. She wondered if he had found God again and if he had finally moved on from Marie. She wondered about Rose too. She had grown close to her in her time employed by Jonathan. Something in Kylie’s face must have shifted when she thought of him because it prompted Savannah to ask, “What’s wrong, girl?”
Kylie hesitated. Her heart pounded at the thought of bringing him up. She couldn’t hide the truth. She wasn’t able to fully enjoy this victory, or any of them, without thinking about the man who had stolen her heart over a year ago on a trip to the ocean. She caved in. “It’s Jonathan.” Her eyes glistened at merely saying the name. “I still think about him often. I can’t seem to dislodge him from my heart.”
Savannah was quiet for a moment, then she folded her hands in her lap. Concerned, she tilted her head. “How long has it been now?”
“A little over a year.”
Scooting closer, she put a hand on Kylie’s back. “Can I pray with you over this?”
“Yes, please.” She wiped her eyes and bowed her head along with Savannah.
&
nbsp; “Lord, we come to Your throne right now and ask You to show Kylie it’s You alone who can bring us happiness. It’s You alone who can complete us. We ask right now, Lord, that You put Your arms around Kylie’s heart and hold her. Just hold her and show her Your powerful and everlasting love made possible through Jesus Christ. We ask these things in Your Holy and Precious name, Jesus. Amen.”
Wiping a stray tear, Kylie thanked Savannah and gave her a hug. Peter came up to her a moment later with a race car in his hand. It was a welcomed interruption by her little guy.
“I love you, Mommy.”
Smoothing her hand over the top of Peter’s head, she smiled warmly at him. “I love you too, dear.”
Chapter 36
ARRIVING TO THE CALVARY CHAPEL Jonathan had been attending for almost a year and a half now, he grabbed his Bible from the front passenger seat and headed through the double doors that led into the church. This morning was his weekly men’s Bible study he had been attending for the last eleven months. Through reading his Bible daily, praying, and attending services whenever the doors were opened, Jonathan had not only rediscovered his love for the Lord but had gone deeper than ever before. Once inside, Tom, one of the church associate pastors, stopped him.
“Good morning, John. Beautiful day God has given us, isn’t it?”
“Morning, Tom. It sure is.”
Entering the fellowship hall, the old sanctuary now used for Bible studies and children’s ministry worship, he set his Bible down on one of the metal tables. He proceeded over to the coffee and donuts on a table. He grabbed a cup and turned the knob on the coffee to fill his cup. Just then, Howard, the leader of his Tuesday night Bible study group, approached him.
Jonathan turned toward him and smiled. “How are you doing, brother?”
“I’m great.” He stopped and they exchanged handshakes before he continued. “Kenny over at the school said you’re trying to get your daughter enrolled in preschool over there?”
Jonathan had been in talks with Pastor Gedstead, the pastor of Calvary Chapel, for months in the hopes of getting Rose enrolled in the school on the church campus. The issue was the fact that all the school rosters were full and his hands were tied at the present time.
“Yeah, I’d love to get her in, but there just isn’t much they can do with full classes.”
He nodded. “I’ll see what I can do about that. I’ll be praying for you, bud. Lord loves you.” Howard patted his shoulder and headed over to talk to other men who were arriving. Each person he came near, he greeted and hugged.
A smile on his face and inside his heart, Jonathan took his coffee and sat down at the table with his Bible on it. The Lord had been working in Jonathan’s life in a major way lately. He had discovered the beauty in the true surrender of his life to His Savior, Jesus Christ. His life was not his own, but Jesus’s. He had no control, no power, and no reliance on any one person except Jesus.
It was through learning these truths that Jonathan was able to fully return to his faith and embrace the reality that Marie was never his, but the Lord’s. All his anger and resentment fell away from him like an old layer of skin falling off after a sunburn. Piece by piece, day by day, the old nature flaked off, revealing his new regenerated self in Jesus. Though he had come to these conclusions about Jesus, about Marie, he hadn’t pursued a relationship with Kylie. He had done some light research on Social Media and discovered she was doing well and appeared to have moved on. He prayed for her and Peter’s safety and wellbeing daily, but he felt it was better if he left the two of them alone.
Michael, the men’s Bible study leader, caught everyone’s attention a few minutes after eight o’clock and requested they all stand while they sang worship songs to God. As Jonathan sang, he raised his hands in the air and focused his heart on Jesus. He was by no means an excellent singer, but that didn’t stop him. He knew that God didn’t care about his lack of talent in singing but looked at his heart.
After singing, all the men present, about sixteen in total, pushed the tables together to form a square in the center of the room. It was time to study the Word of God. They opened in prayer and then turned to Matthew chapter six. They read a few verses, then stopped and discussed amongst the group. Then, they arrived to a passage that spoke to Jonathan’s heart, convicting him.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 6:14-15
Michael paused after reading. Surveying the men in the group, his eyes stopped on Jonathan. “What say you, Jonathan?”
His heart pounded as that day at Marie’s wake pressed against his mind. The hurt, the pain, the words. He could see with absolute clarity his father in-law’s disgust as he blamed Jonathan for Marie’s untimely death. Jonathan swallowed, trying to shove the memory down and away from his mind. He knew he couldn’t hide from that day, from the pain. “We have to forgive. It’s a lot easier to say and think about than actually do. Honestly, right now, I’m thinking about the one person in my life I never forgave.”
Jonathan felt comfortable with these men around him. He could freely share without worry of condemnation.
Howard raised his hand as the silence invaded for a second in the group. Michael nodded to him to speak. “I think forgiveness is simply a matter of a change of mind. The only time we withhold forgiveness is when we’re not thinking about the forgiveness Jesus Christ extended to us. He literally died for us, and on an individual and personal level, He did this. We did wrong in the sight of God and are forgiven of everything. With that in mind, we should be equipped to truly forgive people when we keep hold of the truth of how much we have been forgiven.”
More people spoke up and tossed in their experiences and ideas, but Jonathan retracted into himself as he mulled over Howard’s comment about forgiveness. Everything he had said was true. There was no denying that. Then, knowing it was right, Jonathan let go of his father-in-law’s wrongdoing and truly forgave him. The weight of the burden immediately lifted from his heart as Jonathan took it to the cross and gave it over to God.
After the men’s Bible study, he got into his car with the overwhelming desire to see his father-in-law. It had been six years. Jonathan wanted to hug him and let him know he had forgiven him. With his father-in-law being a pastor and the time it had been since Marie’s death, he felt it was a swell idea. Leaving the parking lot of the church, he drove over to Tyler’s house.
“You’re just going to go? What about your house? Your fish?”
“My fish?” Jonathan leaned forward and laughed. “Can you feed them while I’m gone? You have a key. It’s only three hours away. I doubt I’ll be staying for very long. Maybe I’ll drive home in the morning or something.”
“I guess I can feed them.” Tyler laughed. Then, he began to pace in his living room. Then he turned to Jonathan. “People don’t do this. They don’t just jump in their cars and go to someone’s house who, A, hates you and, B, hasn’t seen you in six years.”
Jonathan laughed, joy rising up within him. “I know it’s crazy, but I feel like I need to, and really, I miss the guy. I have his granddaughter, for crying out loud.”
He shrugged, opening his palms out. “Okay. Take care. You want me to watch Rose for you?”
Glancing over at Rose, he shook his head. “No, I think he’d like to meet her.”
Leaving his brother’s house, he headed to Missoula, Montana to see the man who had crushed his spirit on that grimly cold and rainy day at the wake for Marie. He had entertained the thought of the drive for years, but not with the intent of hugging him and letting him know he had forgiven him. Something had moved deeply within Jonathan that morning at the men’s Bible study. Not only was there guilt over his non-forgiveness, but the love and sadness he felt for his father-in-law. He wanted to stand face-to-face with the man who had caused him so much pain and experience how i
t felt not to hold that pain he had held onto for so long.
Chapter 37
PULLING INTO THE DRIVEWAY, JONATHAN followed the gravel road over a bridge and up a slanted hill to a farmhouse. Unsure of what to expect, he left Rose in the car with the Christian radio station on, telling her he had to see someone really quick and then they’d go get a Happy Meal. Jonathan stood at the bumper, waiting for his father-in-law to realize he was there and to come out from the house. His heart pounded as different emotions tied to a series of scenarios played out in his mind.
Mr. Gillshock walked out from the farmhouse’s side door off the patio with a cane. He made his way out toward Jonathan in the driveway. The man kept his eyes down and his cane moving. Each step he came closer to Jonathan caused the well of emotions from the past to stir within him. He had a long history with the man, none of it good, none of it easy to think about for Jonathan.
“Pastor.” Jonathan’s greeting was soft, with respect, just like when he was a boy all those years ago in high school.
Stopping short of Jonathan, he peered past him and into the car. He didn’t speak, just looked, then his gaze landed on Jonathan.
Tossing a nervous thumb toward the car, Jonathan forced himself to smile. “That’s your granddaughter, Rose. Thought you might want to meet her.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you. To let you know I forgive you for what you said all those years ago.”
He squinted, his face twisting into a grimace. “You came to forgive me? You have some nerve showing up here, boy. I know what you did to my daughter, Shawna. You took her daughter from her just like you took Marie’s life. You’re a selfish jerk who only thinks of himself, and you think everything is okay because you say a little prayer at night. You’ve destroyed my family.”
Jonathan’s heartbeat picked up tempo, his disappointment rising up within him like a violent sea. “Dan, she left her kid with me.”