Boundaries

by Jessica Aiken-Hall

  "Oh, dear. Is everything okay with her?" Concern washed over Norma’s face.

  "Well, she will be if she stays for treatment. But that's all I can say without her permission. What were you ladies talking about when I walked in?"

  “Go ahead, Sonya, tell her the great news.” Maggie’s excitement made me anxious to hear what Sonya had to say.

  "So, you know that old pervert I told you about last week?" She laughed before continuing. "The old sicko really was a perv. They found him dead over the weekend…but get this…the best part, …he was jacking off when they found him."

  Norma let out a gasp. “Oh my.”

  “What, you never heard of someone jerking off? Masturbating?” Her words were swallowed by laughter. “They found him with his pants off…and a stiffy.”

  “A stiffy?” Norma’s eyes questioned the meaning.

  "An erection," Maggie explained while Sonya continued laughing.

  “Oh, wow, Sonya. How did you find out about it?” I sat on the edge of my chair as she caught her breath.

  “My mom told me. He had her listed as his emergency contact. The cops went to her house to tell her the news…and the cop told her how they found him.”

  “How did your mom take it?”

  “She didn’t say. She thought it was pretty funny. But…the best part is he left her his whole estate. He didn’t have any family, so he gave her everything.”

  “Wow. That’s great news, Sonya. How are you doing with the news? Did it bring anything up for you?”

  “I think it’s fantastic. And, my mom gets some money out of the deal, which makes it even better.”

  “Well, then, that’s great news. I think we should celebrate.”

  “I’m glad your monster is dead, Sonya. It makes me wish Hank was dead, too.” Maggie paused for a moment. “Don’t get me wrong though, I am happy for you and your mom. I guess I’m just a little jealous.”

  “It’s okay, Maggie, I get it. Maybe someone will take him out while he’s in the slammer.”

  "I wish they would. He's got a life insurance policy, over $250,000, not to mention the monthly social security survivors benefits for the kids. That would really help us out." Maggie's eyes stared straight ahead, as though she was imaging the life waiting for her and her girls. I wanted to help. I wanted to grant her wish and solve all of her problems, but there was no way I could get to him while he was in jail.

  The desire grew with every thought. Festering inside like gasoline on a fire. The heat radiated throughout my core as I tried to develop a plan. Norma’s hand on my shoulder took me out of my trance. The thoughts took me out of the room longer than I realized. "Are you alright, dear?"

  “Oh, yes, I’m sorry…I guess I…I was just thinking.”

  “Is there anything you want to share with us, dear? We’ll listen…we’re in this together.” Norma said what I had been feeling since our first meeting. These were ladies I could count on, just as much as they could count on me.

  “Thank you, Norma. I think I’m okay, but I will keep that offer for next time.” She took my hand and sandwiched it between hers.

  “Alright, I’ll let you get away with it this time.” Her smile took me back to the hug I shared with my gram over the weekend. That love word was something I just could not escape any longer.

  “Norma, how are you doing? Do you have anything you want to share with us?”

  “Oh, no, not today, dear. I don’t have anything important to talk about.”

  “Of course you do, or you wouldn’t be here.” Sonya leaned in closer to the group. “Come on, Norma, you’ve got to spill the beans sometime.”

  “Sonya, no one has to share until they are ready. We need to respect people’s choices, okay?”

  “Yeah, I know. I know. I just know how good it felt talking about some of my shit, I wanted her to have the chance, too. That’s all.”

  “That’s kind of you, dear. I guess I’m just not ready for that yet. I just don’t want to open up something I can’t turn off, and with the holidays coming up, it’s not good timing.”

  "Norma brings up a good point…how does everyone feel about the holidays? What are your plans?"

  Maggie began to cry. “I hadn’t been thinking too much about it. I won’t have any money to get the girls any gifts, and we don’t have any family around here. We…”

  “How old are your girls again?” Sonya pulled her chair in closer to Maggie.

  “They’re fourteen and sixteen.”

  “So, the Santa ship has sailed? OK, tell me what they like. I love to shop…let me help with some gifts. We can have a girl’s day, go to the mall, have lunch, maybe a drink. How’s that sound?”

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that. I didn’t mean for you to…”

  “Nonsense. I want to. I don’t have any kids of my own yet, and I remember how hard my mom worked to make everything perfect for us. Let me? Please? Besides, I love a good excuse to get to the mall.”

  Norma chimed in, "I might just be an old lady, but I'd love to come, too, if that's okay. I'd love to help out with some gifts for the girls. And, you know, I've been meaning to host a Thanksgiving meal at my house for a long time, but I just never had anyone to invite. I'd love to have you and the girls. And, there's plenty of room if you'd like to come, too." Her kind eyes met Sonya's and then mine.

  "Wow, that's sweet of you, Norma. I'm not sure what my plans are right now, but that's the nicest invitation I've received in a long time. And I'd love to join you on that shopping trip…I mean, if that's alright."

  "Sure, it's fine. That sounds like fun. What do you think, Maggie?"

  Her tears continued, but the look on her face had changed from desperation to hope. “You’re all so kind. I haven’t had a girl’s day in years…well…I don’t think I’ve ever had one. What can I do to repay you all for your kindness?”

  “Just let us help you. It will help me to have something to be a part of. I could use a little fun.”

  "And it will be so nice to have some life in my house. It gets so lonely…especially this time of the year." Norma reached over to hold Maggie's hand. "This will be so much fun."

  “So, it sounds like the holidays just got a whole lot better. This will be the best year in a long time for me, too. Thank you for including me.” The offer made me realize how much these ladies mean to me.

  "Why wouldn't you be included? You're part of this group, too…you don't get off the hook just because it's your job." Sonya placed her hands on her knees before she stood up. "Now, if we could just solve Maggie's other problem."

  The room filled with laughter. This really was going to be one of the best holidays in a long time. There was so much going right in my life. Tim, seeing my gram, and now these ladies. The only thing that would complete my wish list would be finding my son. That was something I never let myself think too much about because I didn't want to keep feeling the repeated disappointment. But now, I was starting to believe anything was possible.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Enjoying a hot cup of tea, I sat at the kitchen table, researching Jane's Facebook page. Not sure what I was looking for, I kept scrolling. There were years of posts, some about Facebook games, some of memes, and some of the usual drama you find on social media. A knock on the door startled me so much I shut the laptop closed. My heart raced in my chest as I imagined who might be on the other side.

  “Just a minute.”

  “Come on, Val, it’s your knight in shining armor.” His smile broadcasted through his voice.

  As I opened the door, I noticed the pizza and flowers in his hands. “What did I do to deserve this?” I reached up to kiss his lips as I took the flowers from him.

  “I figured you could use a visit.” He set the pizza on the counter. “Well, actually, I could use your company. Today was a day from hell.”

  “You’re welcome here anytime. I love spending time with you.”

  “Did I interrupt something? You sounded busy.”

&n
bsp; “Oh...no....I was just doing some research.” I cut the stems of the pink carnations and placed them into a vase with water.

  "What kind of research? Is it something I can help you with? Don't forget, I'm a wealth of knowledge." He chuckled as he pulled out a slice of pepperoni pizza.

  “My human encyclopedia, how cute.” I reached into the cupboard to take out some plates. “No, it’s nothing, really.” I took out two Sam Adams and held them up.

  “You read my mind.” He carried the pizza and his plate to the living room.

  I followed behind with the beer and my plate. I sat down on the couch, my feet under my butt. “So, tell me about your day.”

  He let a massive sigh escape and took a swig from his beer. "It was a rough one." He balanced the bottle on his knee as he slowly spun it around. "Days like today make me want to find a new career. It might have been one of the top ten worst days of my life."

  “Oh, my goodness, that sounds awful. Do you want to talk about it?”

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I really hate it when I have to tell a family that their...” Tears ran down his cheeks, he let them sit there as he went on. “their kid is dead.”

  My heart dropped into my stomach. “Oh, Tim, I’m so sorry.”

  “You know, I’ve done this job forever, and it never gets easier...but this time...I was the first one on the scene. I don’t think I can unsee what I saw today. The car was mangled. And the blood...it was like a horror movie. It...it was the worst accident I've ever seen.”

  “Oh, Tim.”

  “When I saw the car, I knew there was nothing I could do. He was already gone when I got there. Do you know what a hopeless feeling that is? This poor kid hadn't even started his life yet. He was only sixteen...on his way to school. His mom told me it was his first day on his own. He promised her he’d be careful. And I had to be the asshole to tell her he’d never be coming home.”

  “I can’t even imagine the pain she must be in...and you...I don’t know how to take this away from you.” I put my plate down on the coffee table and got on my knees to hug him. “I’m so sorry.” He leaned into me and sobbed. “You’re a good man. I love you.”

  "I love you, too, Val. I don't want to waste any more of my life. I don't want to live another day without you in it.”

  The words hit my core. I had never thought about forever before, and here it was in my face. Could I imagine my life without him? I wasn’t sure anymore. He’d become such an important part of my day in such a small amount of time. Was I ready to let my guard down and trust he meant what he said? But, he was right, life was short...and I'd wasted so much of it already.

  “Val, what do you think? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me? Do you want to get married?”

  My throat went dry, and I pulled out of his arms. “I... I guess I never thought I’d ever be married. This is a lot, Tim... I don’t know what to say. Your emotions are going crazy today, you might change your mind when things calm down.”

  “No... you don’t understand. I won’t. I’ve wanted you for so long and I don’t want to think about my life without you. I’m not saying this just because of what happened today. I mean it. Think about it, at least?”

  “I can do that. I do love you...this is all just happening so fast.”

  “I know. Just don’t give up on me, okay?”

  “That shouldn’t be too hard...you’re pretty amazing.”

  “So, now that I've made this awkward, how was your day?”

  “It was fine.”

  “Hmm...that sounds like you’re not telling me something. Come on, I really want to get out of my head. Tell me about your day.”

  “Well, my day was...strange...it started with Jane.”

  “Wow, that lady is like a bad penny.”

  “Be nice.” I tapped his knee and laughed. “She was sleeping in a minivan in the parking lot. When I walked into work, she called my name. She was trying to get some money from me and had this weird story about some guy named Ted. She said he kicked her out of the house, and she didn’t have any place to go.”

  “You’re lucky she didn’t come here last night.”

  “Hmmm...you’re right, I didn’t even think about that. Well, anyway, I talked her into getting some breakfast with me, and then I brought her to Urgent Care.”

  “Why did you bring her to Urgent Care?”

  "When we were eating, I noticed some track marks on her arm...and red spots all over her face. I don't know why I never noticed them before...but anyway...she kept asking me for money, and I finally got her to admit it was for drugs...I told her I can't give her money for that...but get this...she wanted me to ask you if you had any drugs...crazy, right?"

  “She wanted you to ask me to buy her drugs? Yeah, I guess that is a little crazy.”

  “Yeah, she said cops have all the good stuff.... anyway...so, I told her I couldn't give her money, but maybe the doctor at Urgent Care could give her something. She went willingly for a checkup. When I went back to get her to bring her to group, they told me they were going to admit her. She needs IV antibiotics for a bacterial infection she probably got off a dirty needle. I convinced her to stay...at least until she finds someplace to go, and she agreed."

  “Wow, great work. You saved her life.”

  "We'll see if she stays or not...I hope for her sake, she does. Maybe all she needs is just someone to look out for her."

  "Yeah, probably. I think that's what we all need."

  “True....that’s what happened in group today, too. These ladies are really getting close and helping each other out. I’m kinda glad Jeanine made me do it. The ladies are all going out shopping to get Maggie’s girls Christmas gifts...and Norma has invited us all to her place for Thanksgiving.”

  “That sounds a little slippery, doesn’t it?”

  “What does?”

  “Going to a patient’s house for dinner. That seems like you’re getting a little too close. Doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah, I guess. I didn’t say I was going to go.” I picked at the lint on my sock. “It’s just so nice to see all these friendships forming and see them looking out for each other. I guess I got sucked up into it all.”

  “Hey, Val, I didn’t mean to upset you. I know you won’t cross any boundaries. Maybe it would be good for you to go? You know, to help keep the bound? That’s got to be therapeutic, right?”

  “I don’t know, you’re probably right. What are your plans for Thanksgiving?”

  “I’m going to my mom’s house. I can ask her if she’d be okay with you coming with me if you want.”

  “Don’t you think it’s a little soon to be meeting family?”

  “Hey, what was last weekend? I got to meet your grandma.”

  “Good point...but she didn’t even know who I was, let alone we’re a couple.”

  “Well, you can think about it. Maybe you’d have more fun with the ladies from your group. It might be good for you.”

  “Yeah, I'll think about it.”

  In all of my years as a social worker, I never let myself get too close to a client. I thought it was because I was professional, but it was really to protect myself. I had never wanted to get close to anyone before, but now, it was like I couldn't get close enough. I'm not sure what was happening to me. These women and their stories were the only things I could think about. I wanted to know more. I wanted to help them. I wanted to solve their problems. I wanted them to walk away with perfect lives. I'd do whatever it took to make it happen.

  “Hey, so, when you were investigating Carmen’s death, did you ever hear about anyone named Ted?”

  “I don’t think so. I remember Jane and Seth…but I think those were the only people that we were told about. You looked at the file, do you remember seeing anything about Ted?”

  “No, it was just Jane and Seth. I mean, if they were living with a guy named Ted, you would have interviewed him, right?”

  “Yeah. I’m pretty sure the apartment was
in Jane’s name. If I remember correctly, it was just Jane and Carmen living there.”

  “Why would she lie about living with some guy named Ted? And why would she say he kicked her out?”

  “You can never trust anything that comes from someone who is actively using. And she just lost her daughter, so I mean, I get it. I don’t blame her for wanting to be high.”

  “Yeah, true. But, isn’t that a bizarre thing to make up?”

  "It's honestly not the strangest lie I've heard before. I don't know why people do the things they do. I don't think you'll ever know the truth unless she decides to tell you, and even then, who knows."

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “Why is this case bugging you so much? I know you saw Carmen, but you’ve seen a lot of dead people. What makes this case so…intriguing?”

  I thought about his question before I answered. Why was I so drawn to this case? What made this one different than all of the rest of the deaths I’d worked on? “I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because Carmen and Gabriel were the same age. But I think it’s more than that. I just had a bad feeling when I walked into that room…and it hasn’t left me since.”

  “I get that. What I saw today will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.” He stared straight ahead as the images from the day replayed in front of his eyes.

  “Do you want to find something funny on TV tonight to help clear your mind? I could use something funny to help take my mind off things.”

  “Yeah, sure. That sounds like a good idea. Would it be cool with you if I stayed here tonight?”

  “I think that sounds like a great idea.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Just a few days before Thanksgiving, I decided the best place for me to be would be with the ladies from group. It wouldn't be crossing boundaries, as long as I was invited. The thought of meeting Tim's mom this early made the idea of crossing boundaries sound like a good idea. I'd never had to meet anyone's family before, let alone the mother of the man I love. Everything was moving way too fast and including other people in it put fear in places I tried to ignore. If his mother didn't like me, he might not want to keep seeing me, and I wasn’t ready for that yet.