Counterfeit Honeymoon

by Julia Anders

  "And before our—our trip." Her tongue stumbled over the word honeymoon. "She explained that we'd be having breakfast in our room and she didn't want me to be embarrassed by having to wear this brown robe because it wouldn't look as if I were really a bride, so she gave me that lovely blue and green one."

  Jason threw back his head and laughed. "Well, I always felt she was one of the most farseeing people I ever knew. Remind me to take her to the races some time. She ought to be a whiz at picking winners."

  She didn't understand him but said, "But doesn't that show she's sweet?"

  "It shows, my innocent, that, as I said, she always has my best interests at heart."

  "And she picked out those lovely clothes for me that first day. I don't think they were what she intended at first, but then I tried on that blue dinner dress, and all of a sudden everything changed and she said we'd take it—just like that—and all the other pretty things." She stared into the brandy snifter. "Though as it turned out, I think perhaps that was a mistake because if I had looked more dowdy when she met me, Justine might not have been so upset over our make-believe marriage. Don't you think that's possible?"

  He didn't answer but raised his glass. "Madelaine Cheney, wherever you are, here's to your health. I salute you!"

  "I truly didn't mean to cause trouble between you and Justine," Lynne said.

  "Look, it's time for me to talk about Justine," he said.

  "No, I don't want to hear it That's a personal part of your life."

  "You're going to listen." There was a note in his voice that would not be denied, and the old resentment of his authority flared in her, but she subsided.

  "I knew Justine years ago when we were both very young," he said. "We had quite a romantic fling. I wasn't ready to settle down then. The business was my first priority at the time, my father having left it to Morgan and me not long before. Anyway, Justine chose Gerald Grant and we went our separate ways. I never saw her after that except casually at some big party, or I might run into them at the theatre. I had nothing to do with the break-up of their marriage."

  "But eventually she and Grant separated and somehow our paths crossed again. By this time I knew there was something missing in my life. I'd devoted myself almost entirely to the business, but I looked at Morgan and, in spite of the instability of his life, I envied him Tonio. It seemed the right time to think about a family of my own."

  "And there was Justine. What we had had in the early years was a romance, not a love affair, but I suppose one never quite forgets the object of one's early romantic fantasies. She had lived the same sort of life as I did; we knew many of the same people. And of course she was devilishly beautiful."

  "There wasn't a formal engagement—she wasn't legally free. There was just an understanding that someday, when she was free, I'd be there."

  "I think the first time I ever looked past that beautiful face was when I explained to her the need to get custody of Tonio—without waiting a year. She didn't take it well."

  Something in his tone made Lynne understand that that was an understatement.

  "Actually if she hadn't been so determined to fight Grant on every last point, their divorce could have been settled without too much trouble. But she wouldn't make any concessions. It seemed to be a point of honor with her to make him sweat for everything he could salvage from the years of work he'd put into the business."

  "But she wanted it both ways. She wanted her pound of flesh from Grant but she wanted me to wait. She tried to forbid me to take the action I had decided on, but as you have pointed out"—he gave a small, wry smile—"I'm not accustomed to taking orders. So I said I'd do what I had to do, and she came around, or so I thought."

  "I won't say I wasn't disappointed, but I tried to see it from her viewpoint. I hadn't expected her to be happy with the situation, but I did expect her to understand that it was necessary. I had explained to her what kind of life the D'Allasios led and why it was important to get Tonio away from them. And I expected that eventually, when all my problems and hers were settled, we'd get back to the point where we'd been before."

  "There was one thing I hadn't counted on, though—not being as farseeing as some of my associates."

  He sat silent so long then, just looking at her, that she finally said, "What was that?"

  "I think at first it was just having fun—perhaps for the first time in my life, a vacation with no business involved, where I had to slow down and really look around me, see things through fresh eyes, eyes that showed so much, lighting up in wonder and delight and reflecting that delight back at me. It was being near someone with such integrity that she suffered pangs of guilt over a deception, even though she was convinced it was in a good cause; someone who felt guilt every time any money was spent on her, someone who was totally undemanding, not only undemanding of gifts, but of my attention as well. If I had time to be with her, fine—we'd enjoy things together. If I was busy, she'd entertain herself. She was such a whole person within herself that she never needed to be the center of attention. She was full of pleasant surprises and a very relaxing companion."

  Lynne had begun to feel a warm flush of embarrassment as he talked, and she realized he was speaking of her. He was getting on personal, and therefore dangerous, ground. It was balm to her heart to know that he had considered her a good companion, that he respected her, but his nearness was working its magic on her. She was too aware of his masculine strength to be able to sit there, exhausted as she was, and keep her defenses up so that he wouldn't guess she yearned for him.

  But he went inexorably on. "Then somehow it all changed and she wasn't relaxing to be with anymore."

  She stared at him in bewilderment.

  "I began to have to fight with myself every moment in her presence. I'd made her such a firm promise, you see, about what sort of honeymoon this would be. And for a while I did well. I intended to do things the gentlemanly way, not to take advantage of the intimacy of the situation. I was going to wait until we were at home where she was no longer under pressure, almost at my mercy, so to speak. And then one night I did a terrible thing. She had had an upsetting evening and was in a vulnerable mood and I—I lost control and did what I'd barely been able to restrain myself from doing for some time. I tried to make love to her. How could she forgive me? How could I forgive myself? But she was so lovely, so desirable, that I lost my head. I tried to apologize, but she kept me at arm's length from then on, and I couldn't blame her. I was eaten up with remorse and despair because I thought that if I'd ever had a chance with her, I'd ruined it all."

  Tears were streaming down Lynne's face. "Jason, I think I'm dreaming. You can't mean what you're saying."

  "What I mean, my darling, is that I adore you. I want to marry you. I love you."

  "Oh, Jason, that night you pushed me away from you, I wanted to die. I thought you'd only kissed me because I'd nearly thrown myself at you and, well, you're a very masculine man and you just automatically responded. But you seemed so distressed afterward. I thought you were disgusted at having made love to a—to a nobody from the typing pool."

  He groaned. "Oh, my darling girl. You're the most wonderful somebody I've ever known. But you've been driving me crazy. I wanted you so much I couldn't think straight, and you just shoved me farther and farther away."

  "I was so afraid you'd see that—that I'd fallen in love with you," she said shyly. "I thought I could bear living without you, just with the memories, because I'd have to, you see, but I couldn't bear to have you pity me."

  He came and knelt beside her, laying his head against her breast. She knew he could hear the wild, welcoming beating of her heart, but she only pressed him closer.

  "Lynne," he whispered, "we're married legally. Would you—please—now—marry me for real? And forever?"

  For an answer, she tipped up his face and bent her lips to his. As their mouths met, her own passion surged up to meet his, and they clung together, mindless of time.

  At last he r
ose and took her hand. Then he stopped. "I've already said, 'With this ring I thee wed,' but I want to give you something more than the ring now— as a pledge of love." He reached into the pocket of his robe and took out a small package.

  She opened it and there lay the golden face of the sun that she had admired in the jeweler's window on the Ponte Vecchio.

  "I gathered from a pantomime of Tonio's in front of the shop window that you had liked it," he said. "I hope I understood him correctly."

  She lifted it out of its box by the delicate chain. "Jason!" she cried, happiness spilling out of her eyes— not for the gold, but for the golden knowledge that it was she and no one else for whom he'd been buying a gift that day on the bridge. He'd been thinking of her!

  "Put it on me," she said.

  He took it out of her hand and laid it on the table. "Not now, love."

  He lifted her in his arms with an easy strength that sent waves of excitement flooding through her as he started for his bedroom door. Then, remembering that under the dull brown robe she was wearing her plain cotton pajamas, she wailed, "Jason, it's our wedding night. I should be wearing my beautiful chiffon gown!"

  He laughed. "My idiotic darling, don't you know that in another minute it won't make a bit of difference?"

  She discovered he was right.