Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three)

by Blakeley, Rissa

  Elaina barked out a sarcastic laugh, thinking that Quinn was just as mental as everyone else. “I think I cashed in all my hope months ago,” Elaina muttered. “You have no idea how long I’ve been battling him. So many times, I’ve had to drag him somewhere when he could barely walk. Or clean up his vomit. Or deal with his rages, his tears, his pleas.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “With all of my heart.”

  “Then it’s worth the effort.”

  Elaina wiped the tears, snot dripping down her face. “You don’t understand.”

  “How do I not understand? You do know Gunther is just like him, right?”

  “Not really. He’s not an alcoholic. Besides, you are much stronger than I am.” The fact of the matter was Quinn had miles of strength stacked up, and Elaina felt hers had taken the five o’clock train months prior.

  “That’s not true. I’ve had plenty of meltdowns. Most have been in private, though.”

  After eavesdropping in on Quinn and Elaina’s conversation, Gunther decided he needed to go out and talk to her.

  When a door opened, Elaina looked up. Gunther stood in the doorway with a blood-stained cloth pressed to his mouth. He looked like how she felt…beat up, bloodied, and defeated.

  He sat on the floor across from them, leaning back against the wall. “Let me give you some perspective,” Gunther murmured through the cloth.

  Elaina was shocked he would even insinuate she didn’t get it. “I’m pretty sure I have a handle on how things are for Henry. I have all of the perspective I need, thank you very much,” she muttered in anger.

  “Just hear him out, Elaina,” Quinn pleaded.

  “Yes, he’s broken, mental, an alcoholic…” He paused, looking around, making sure there wasn’t anyone else listening. “Not fully alive… You have no idea what it’s like for us.”

  “How dare you sit here and try to tell me I have no clue about what is going on with Henry?! I have lived this right beside him!” she growled. “You were the one who beat him, nearly killing him on more than one occasion!”

  With pursed lips, Gunther knew her anger was justified. “I know, and I feel tremendous guilt about that, but it wasn’t my choosing. It was either do that, or I was beaten and starved.”

  Clenching her fists, her voice grew fierce. “So you chose to beat someone else, hurt someone else, to save your own fucking ass?! How does that work? Real fucking noble.”

  “You don’t understand. If I didn’t do it, someone else would have. Kellan and Drew were much more brutal than I was.”

  “Oh, so now you’re showing him some compassion?! Fracturing his skull wasn’t brutal?!”

  Gunther continued, ignoring her, “If it was Roger doing the dealing, all bets were off. If we didn’t obey, they would starve us to the brink of true death. I can’t even begin to tell you how painful that is. Then they would beat us on top of that.” His eyes watered, obvious guilt weighing heavy upon his shoulders. Then he choked out, “Or make us do unspeakable acts as punishment.”

  In silence, they watched Elaina pick at the frayed hem of her jeans.

  “Elaina, he can’t help it,” Quinn said as she rubbed her back. “He just happened to be graced with an addictive personality on top of all his other issues. You can’t walk away from him right now. He needs you to take care of him.”

  “Why does it matter to you if I take care of him? Who is going to take care of me? Who?!”

  I was exhausted, but I knew Elaina was upset. I needed to go to her. The distress in her voice tore me apart. She couldn’t give up on me because she was the only one who could help me heal. I had to get to her and make my plea before she closed the door on us for good.

  On my hands and knees, I crawled to the door, pulled myself up, and turned the handle just as she asked who would take care of her.

  Goddamn it. Me! That was my job, but I had been failing at it.

  “I will,” I breathed out. They turned around and stared at my pale, sweaty body wavering in the doorway. “If you want to walk away, fucking do it, but I won’t let you leave quietly. I will fight for you with every ounce of whatever is left of my being.” Sweat poured off of me as I teetered on the verge of crying, vomiting, and passing out. Great combo.

  “You should lie down, mate.” Gunther stood, ready to help me. “You aren’t looking so well.” He stepped closer to me, but I held my ground.

  “I’m fine,” I growled. I wiped the sweat off my forehead. “I’m not going anywhere until she agrees to stay with me.”

  “I think you should talk about this later,” Quinn added.

  “Later will be too late. I can’t lose her…” My voice trailed off as I breathed deep, trying not to cry. I felt like such a loser who wasn’t able to control my emotions at any given moment.

  “Listen, we understand what you’re saying, but neither one of you are in the right state of mind to talk about your relationship right now.” Quinn looked at Elaina. “I think you both need to cool off and wait until Henry completely detoxes before you make any rash decisions.”

  “I would fucking die for her,” I whimpered. My hands shook as they, once again, wiped the sweat from my brow. “I would!” I shouted.

  “Yes, we know. Come on, mate. I’ll help you get settled.”

  She wouldn’t even look in my direction. “I can’t lose you, Elaina. I can’t… I’ll die.” Gunther grabbed me and ushered me back into our room, closing the door behind us.

  After helping Elaina to her feet, Quinn held her in a tight embrace, then brushed back the hair sticking to Elaina’s tear-streaked face.

  “It’s going to be okay. You guys will work through this. You love him and he loves you. Don’t make any decisions just yet. All right? Once you get through this detox, then decide what you want to do.”

  Elaina nodded into Quinn’s shoulder and pulled away. “I think I need some fresh air.”

  “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “No, I’ll be fine. I have my gun.” Elaina left Quinn standing in the hallway in her wake of despair.

  My body slick with sweat, Gunther grabbed my elbow and guided me back toward the bed. “Hold up…” I covered my mouth with the back of my hand. “I’m going to be sick again.”

  Rushing toward the bucket near the bed, I collapsed to my knees and dry heaved for an eternity. Gunther leaned against the wall, ankles and arms crossed, watching the disaster that I was.

  I glanced up at him, drool stringing from my lips, air hardly passing through, wondering what was running through his mind. My arms draped across the top of the bucket and I rested my head on them.

  “You all right, mate?”

  Gasping for air, I mumbled, “Yeah… Fuck. I just need a minute.”

  “I’m right here if you need help.”

  “Yeah…” Panting for a few moments, I leaned back onto my heels. “God, I’ve fucked everything up between her and me.” I grabbed the empty bucket and threw it across the room.

  “Hey, now… Just relax.”

  “I can’t lose her. It will kill me.”

  “I don’t think she’s going to leave you.”

  My devastation-filled eyes met his. “You heard her. You were right there.”

  “I know. She’s just frustrated, angry, and hurt.”

  I tried to stand, but fell back on my ass. Gunther grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bed. As I lay back, the sobbing hit hard once again. “Fuck me…,” I choked out.

  “Calm down a bit, mate. You’re going to make yourself sick again.”

  “If she walks away from me, I will put a bullet in my head. I swear to you.”

  “Don’t talk like that.”

  “I can’t do anything without her. She’s the reason I’m still here. Every time I held that gun to my head, I thought of what it would do to her.” Rolling on my side, I curled into a ball, hoping the pain would ebb at some point.

  “You want me to leave you alone?”

  “Yeah…”

&n
bsp; “You won’t do anything stupid?”

  “No…”

  He patted me on the shoulder and headed out. I groaned as the door clicked shut.

  God, I feel like such a fool. How could she even love me? I’m a goddamn tragedy.

  When Gunther opened the door and stepped out, Quinn was waiting for him.

  “Christ, he’s a wreck.” He ran his hand over his head. “He’s sobbing. I feel bad for him. He can’t seem to hold it together for more than a few minutes at a time.” He looked around. “She leave?”

  “Yes. She said she needed some fresh air.”

  “What?! She can’t go out there alone! Why did you allow that to happen?!”

  Quinn threw her hands in the air. “What do you want me to say, Gunther?” Then with a sigh, she said, “I’m going to our room and try to relax. All this insanity has me on edge.”

  He didn’t say a word to her, but stormed down the hall and out of the side entrance. “Elaina!” Gunther yelled, bursting out of the door.

  He headed toward the back of the school, then around the trucks. There she was…sitting on the swings. Relief rushed through him, imagining what would happen to Henry if he had to tell him Elaina got killed by an undead.

  “Fuck me,” she mumbled as he approached her. “Can’t a girl cry alone once in a while? I just want to be alone with my misery,” she sighed.

  “Misery likes company.” He jammed his hands into his pockets. “You shouldn’t be out here alone, Elaina. You know better than that.”

  “Okay, Dad. What’s the worst that could happen?”

  He sat on the swing next to her. “Oh, I don’t know. You could get eaten?”

  “I really don’t give two shits at the moment.” Dragging the toes of her shoes in the dry dirt as she swayed back and forth on the swing made clouds of dust billow around their feet.

  “I’m pretty sure some of us would give two shits,” Gunther reasoned, but she laughed.

  “That’s pretty fucking funny coming from someone who’s half-dead.”

  He smiled. “Yeah, I suppose it is comical.”

  Then Elaina confessed, “I feel some jealousy toward Quinn, you know. She’s with the same type of fucked up, half-dead man I have, but mine is too busy puking his brains out trying to detox from his alcoholism. Have I mentioned the OCD?”

  “He really loves you, you know.”

  “How do you know that? Your fists know him better than your mind does.”

  “I can see the way he looks at you. He’s got it bad. And I know you love him. It’s so obvious, Elaina. When I helped him back into bed after another round of dry heaves, he was sobbing, worrying over whether you were going to leave him.” Guilt was in her eyes. “You can’t give up on him. This is just a bump in the road.”

  She laughed again. “Bump in the road…,” Elaina mumbled. “Try Mount Everest.”

  “Okay. A giant fucking mountain that’s spewing hot lava and ash clouds for hundreds of miles is in the way of your relationship right now. It’s not easy to have a relationship in this mental world. You just have to have patience.”

  “Patience? I’ve had plenty of patience for his bullshit,” she snipped.

  Holding up his fingers, nearly squeezing them together, he said, “From my point of view, you have been slightly impatient.”

  Her eye roll was hearty. “That’s really righteous coming from you.” She paused. “In case you haven’t figured it out, sarcasm is my thing.”

  With a shrug of his shoulders, he said, “I have been known to throw out a doozy here and there.”

  “Aren’t you just so fucking special?”

  Certain that her eyes were in a permanent roll, he added, “I would like to think I am, but there are others with similar qualities here. So, obviously, special isn’t a quality that I, alone, hold.” His eyes danced with amusement.

  “Okay. Fine. You win the sarcasm contest.”

  “I can share. Recently, I’ve learned how to do that.”

  “No…really. I’m fine.”

  “I have a crazy idea.”

  “What?” She looked at him curiously.

  “Let’s get pissed-up.”

  Her jaw almost hit the ground. “Are you shitting me? How hypocritical would I look?”

  “Here’s the difference–”

  “There is no difference! What’s wrong with you?!”

  “We don’t have enough time for me to list everything.”

  “You’re such an asshole.”

  “Real nice, Elaina. I’m trying to help you out here, and you keep shutting me down.” Gunther stood and ambled off to his truck, grabbed a bottle of vodka, and headed back to the swing. Sitting back down, he held out the bottle.

  “I can’t believe you’re going ahead with this.”

  “The only vice I have is sex. I’m not an addict, but it’s my thing. I can go without it, though.”

  “Yeah, right. What’s the longest you have ever gone without?”

  “Seventeen years.”

  “Wow. I find that shocking…for real. No sarcasm there. Seventeen years is a hell of a long time, even for the casual.”

  “Well, once I started, I haven’t wanted to stop.”

  She slapped his arm. “Oh, my god.”

  Gunther laughed and unscrewed the cap. He offered the bottle to her first because he was a gentleman. Instead of taking it from his hand, she glared at him. He shrugged. “Suit yourself.” Tipping it back, he took a long pull. Three loud swallows later, the bottle came to a rest on his knee.

  “I really could go for a drink,” she muttered. She held out her hand, waiting for him to pass her the bottle.

  “Were you just making sure it wasn’t poisoned or something?” He handed her the bottle. Just as she took a small sip, he collapsed on the ground, writhing around.

  “Gunther!” Jumping off the swing, she dropped the bottle and knelt beside him. “I’m going to get Quinn…” She tried to get up, but he grabbed her ankle and held her down.

  “Gotcha,” he laughed, but it turned into a scream when her foot was planted right into his crown jewels. “Fuck!” He grabbed himself, rolling onto his side with a hiss.

  “You asshole! Why did you do that?!”

  “I was kidding. God, bird. Sarcasm… Ever hear of it?” He balled himself into a fetal position, groaning in pain.

  “Don’t use it against me like that!”

  “I wasn’t. Bloody hell.” He finally sat up, still holding his parts together as if they would’ve fallen off if he let go. “I was trying to have a little fun. Damn, bird. You know, I was injured there a bit ago. My junk was black-and-blue for weeks.”

  “Oh, you poor thing. You had to go without fucking for a while?”

  Gunther laughed in between his grimaces. “No. Everything was in working order, so I still went for it. It was excruciating, but it was absolutely amazing. It was our first time. I’ll never forget it. Bloody amazing.”

  “That’s great. Thanks for sharing.” Yet again with the eye roll.

  Spotting the bottle, he grabbed it and took another long pull. Elaina picked up a handful of pebbles and aimlessly tossed them around.

  Movement across the way grabbed her attention. She reached back, touching Gunther’s leg.

  “You do understand I’m monogamous now, right?”

  “Not that, you asshole,” she growled, pointing over to the storefront.

  The movement was purposeful, not the staggering undead type of gait.

  In a blink, Gunther shifted into program mode, his voice a mere whisper, “Go around the back, get inside, and alert the others. I want Josie and Thomas guarding the doors. I want you and Nick armed and stationed outside, but hidden out of sight.”

  He set the bottle down and got up, leading the way back to the school. They parted ways at the trucks.

  Chapter 7

  Gunther snuck around the corner of the school, squatting behind the only bushes still alive. On high alert, he had his Sig out and ready, w
atching for more movement.

  An older man darted from behind the store to the pile of rubble on his right. Gunther looked for a way to run across the road unnoticed. Deciding to just go for it, he needed to come up behind them and halt their progression.

  His quick footsteps were silent. Pressing against the front left corner of the building, he stole a glance around the side. Clear. Gunther ran around, heading for the back of the building.

  Another glance showed him four adults peeking around the opposite corner. The older man signaled with a wave for the others to follow. The gravel crunched behind Gunther. He whipped around, his Sig aimed in front of him.

  Nick.

  Curling his lip into a snarl, he was irate Nick didn’t follow instructions. Gunther held one finger to his lips, then he held his hand up.

  Three fingers…

  Two Fingers…

  Heart pounding within his chest, Nick focused on the last finger as Gunther peeked around the corner again.

  He hoped Nick was ready for an altercation as he lowered the last finger. Both jumped out from the side of the building, their Sigs aimed at the strangers.

  “Stand down! Stand down!” Gunther screamed. The younger man of the group reached inside his pocket. “Don’t even think about it. I will take you out without blinking.” He slid his hand out of his pocket and held them in front of his chest. “Hands up, everyone! Walk out front.” He waved his gun toward the road. “I said move!” Instructing Nick to stay behind the group, Gunther then walked out in front of them, still with his Sig trained on them. “Strip!” he yelled.

  The group looked at one another. One of the women said, “Please, can’t we just–”

  “Shut it! Strip, or I will start with him.” With his finger on the trigger, he aimed his Sig at the older man at the far left. “Throw your items in a pile right there.” Gunther motioned toward his feet. Once everyone was down to their skivvies, he called for Elaina. She skirted out from behind the bush and ran up behind him. “Check their clothes for weapons. If you find any, and I suspect you will, leave them in a pile behind me.” He noticed the youngest of the women was pregnant. A quick thought flashed through his mind about his own baby with Carly. He shook his head and noticed Elaina was staring at her instead of doing what he had asked. “Elaina! Now!”