Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three)

by Blakeley, Rissa

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I muttered.

  Her frustration with me was pure when she yelled, “You’re a goddamn mess and you need to talk about it!”

  “Don’t you think I know that?!” I roared. “Thanks for the fucking update! I had no clue how much I’m screwed up!”

  “Henry, please, calm down. Just talk to me. I want to help you. I’m here for you.”

  “I can’t.” I stood in haste and the chair crashed to the floor.

  I knew if I told her about any of the scenarios, she would leave me and I couldn’t handle that. Stalking off toward the windows, I stared out at nothing.

  No demons. No more about my past. Not yet.

  “Why?” She came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my body.

  “Because if I tell you, you will leave me. It’s as simple as that. I will die without you.”

  “What?! What the fuck are you talking about?! Henry, I’m not going to leave you.”

  “You don’t understand!”

  “Then help me understand!”

  I slammed my fist on the windowsill, biting out a few colorful choice words. “The reason I left the bunker last night was…” I rubbed my palm across my neck, then my forehead, finishing off with jamming it through my hair. Then, with a sigh, I muttered, “Because Mara tried to seduce me.”

  She stepped back a little. “I assume you refused?”

  “Of course I did.”

  “Then I don’t understand. Why would I leave you for refusing her? Please explain this to me.” She leaned against the windowsill while I anxiously moved about the room, straightening little things that weren’t out of place to anyone’s eyes but my own.

  “It was pitch black and I was sleeping on the couch. I heard someone say my name. I thought I was dreaming. Then a warm hand took mine.” With her eyes narrowed, it was plain to me Elaina didn’t like where the conversation was going, and neither did I. “She pulled me down to the end of the bunker and began touching me. Of course, I was ready because that happens in my sleep.” I rubbed my face with my hands and barked out a few more obscenities. Making my way back to the sill, I leaned against it.

  “Continue,” Elaina quipped. The indisputable red rage was manifesting in her body as she started to pace.

  “I realized I wasn’t dreaming and it was Mara. I kept pushing her off, but I couldn’t see a fucking thing. I tried to get away from her. Somehow, she managed to unzip my fly.” Her spine straightened and her eyes burned with fury. “She grabbed me. I tried to dodge her again and again, but she managed to get me in her mouth during the struggle.”

  “And you kept pushing her away, correct?” Elaina snarled.

  “Yes, and I kept telling her to back off. She kept saying she liked it rough. Eventually, I managed to get away from her, then I grabbed my shit and took off.”

  “I’m going to fucking kill her,” Elaina growled, her fists clenched at her sides. Her head cocked to the side when she noticed the pain didn’t leave my eyes after my confession. “Henry? What else?” She swallowed hard, waiting for an answer I was sure would make her go off the deep end.

  I was so ashamed, but I had to finish. “It felt good. It felt good when she touched me.” My eyes became watery and I dropped my head. “I’m sorry.”

  Elaina was stunned into silence for a few moments, watching me wipe tears off my face. “Henry…”

  “I’m sorry, Elaina. I’m so sorry. I never meant it to happen. I didn’t come onto her. I only want you. I don’t want her or anyone else.”

  “Henry…”

  “I’ll get my stuff out of here and grab another room.” I tried to push past her.

  “Henry.” She grabbed my arm. “I’m not going to leave you. She touched you. You refused her. Of course it felt good. That’s the unfortunate thing. Our bodies betray us at times. You refused her and removed yourself from the situation.”

  “In turn, Eli almost died because of it.”

  “None of this is your fault. Don’t beat yourself up.” She grabbed me and held me. “Come on. Let’s lie down for a few minutes until you can calm yourself down.” She led me toward our bed and crawled in first, pulling me in with her. Then she wrapped her body around me while I stared at the ceiling, worrying. “I’m proud of you for handling the situation like that.”

  “How could you be? Look at how I’ve acted since. I thought you would leave me because it felt good.”

  “As long as you refused and didn’t do anything to bring on the attention then, in my eyes, she’s a whore-face and you’re innocent.”

  I smirked through my tears. “Whore-face?”

  “Yes, whore-face,” she said with the utmost confidence.

  I chuckled and wiped the moisture from my face with my hand. “Haven’t heard that one before.”

  “I just made it up. It will be in the latest edition of Merriam-Webster’s. You just wait.”

  Relaxing a little, we cuddled for a while. I couldn’t believe how I fared. How did I find myself someone so accepting of my circumstances?

  Her voice broke me from my thoughts. “You said you had everything pretty much ready for us, wedding-wise?” I rolled over to face her and she had a small, devious smirk.

  “Yeah.”

  “How about tomorrow?”

  My jaw dropped. “Tomorrow? Really? You still want to marry me?”

  “Yes, of course I do, you nut!”

  “Oh god, I love you. Well, I have some things I need to take care of then. I better get my ass moving.”

  I started to get out of bed when she stopped me. “I thought everything was ready?”

  “It is, but I have to set it up. Go talk to Cora and Quinn. They’re going to help you get ready.”

  After a quick kiss, I jumped up, grabbed a shirt and shoes, and ran out the door.

  Chapter 33

  When Quinn opened the door, she looked as if she were on the verge of death.

  “I’m sorry. I won’t bother you,” Elaina said.

  “It’s fine. I’ve just been so sick today. I can’t keep anything down. On top of that, my boobs hurt and my hips ache. Not that I’m complaining. I just feel like I have been run over.” She staggered back to bed.

  “I can come back later…” Elaina was worried Quinn was going to puke in front of her.

  “No, I’ll be fine. I heard Henry is wound up. Is he all right? I wanted Gun to check on you two, but he was confident you had the situation handled.”

  “Yeah. Long story short, I’m going to shank Mara.” Elaina smirked.

  “That’s not funny, Elaina.” She frowned at Quinn. “Gunther told me what happened. I’d probably want to take her out, too,” she admitted.

  “It’s not his fault. He was just really mad at himself because he said it felt good. His body betrayed him.”

  “I understand.” Quinn rolled onto her side and moaned. “Now, what can I do for you?”

  “We decided to marry tomorrow.” Panic exploded in Quinn’s eyes. “He told me to talk to you and Cora… You know, maybe we should wait until you feel better. Let me go find him and we can hold off.”

  “No. You two have waited long enough. We’ll make this happen. Go get Cora so we can chat.”

  “Are you sure? You don’t feel well. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

  “Go before I change my mind.” She shooed Elaina off. She made it to the door just as Quinn threw up in the bucket again.

  Marching down to Cora’s room, a calm came over her. It was going to happen. She was unable to stop herself from smiling like a fool.

  Elaina was finally going to be Mrs. Henry Daniels.

  Gunther and I walked down toward the classroom that held the arbor. “So you and Elaina are doing all right then?”

  “Yeah. She’s amazing. She has this ability to bring me down from the ledge. I have no idea why she puts up with me and all of my nutter behavior.”

  “I hear you on that loud and clear.” Gunther smiled. “I can’t t
ell you how many times Quinn has saved me. Sounds like we have a couple good birds.”

  I burst out laughing. “I do believe we’re extraordinarily lucky. Not too many would put up with our bullshit.”

  Gunther nodded. “Truth right there. Oh, and just so you know,” Gunther narrowed his eyes at me, “I haven’t forgiven you for the old man comment. Just remember that old man has kicked your prat arse on several occasions.”

  “Sorry about that,” I mumbled. “I was having a little breakdown.”

  “You doing better now?”

  “Yeah.” I looked away from him. I really wasn’t, but at least I had a wedding to distract me for a little while.

  When we opened the door, the arbor came into view. Walking up to it and reaching out, my hands ran up the painted white wood. Gunther smiled at my reaction and patted me on the shoulder.

  “You ready for this, mate?”

  “I’ve been ready. Just as long as I don’t have to go on a killing spree during this wedding, too.”

  “I’ve got you covered on that end.”

  We grabbed the arbor and carried it out the back door to the edge of the woods. After setting it up, Gunther and I walked to Sophie’s cross. I paused and took a deep breath.

  “I’m going to start bringing out the benches. Take your time.” He patted me on the shoulder once again. The touchy-feely from him made me chuckle.

  Standing in front of the cross, my hands dug into my pockets. Then I kissed two fingers and touched the intricately painted wood.

  I spoke softly, “Some days, I still need you. It’s been hard without you around.” I cleared my throat, trying to keep my emotions under control. “I’m marrying her tomorrow and am so thrilled it’s finally happening. I love her so much. I hope you’re able to watch.”

  A cool breeze pushed through my chest, causing me to stumble back. All of the hair on the back of my neck stood on end, and a shiver overtook me. I glanced around. There wasn’t even a leaf stirring. Smiling, I walked back into the school more calm and collected than I had been in a while.

  Gunther and I spent about an hour setting up, getting the benches lined up perfectly. Standing at the arbor, I looked around, hoping it wouldn’t rain.

  “Well, that’s about it for us out here. All we need to do is roll the piano into the cafeteria,” Gunther said with his hands on his hips. “Now, the women need to finish up. Hopefully, Quinn is up to doing some of it.”

  “She’s still not feeling well?”

  Gunther pursed his lips. “No. The baby is doing a number on her.”

  “Thanks for helping, mate. You taking time away from her means a lot to me.”

  “Don’t get all pansy on me.”

  We laughed and walked inside, and Mara was leaning against the wall.

  “Fuck…,” I groaned.

  “Well…hello, boys. Nothing better than two hot and sweaty men in my sights.”

  “Get a grip, Mara,” I grumbled.

  I tried to walk past her, but she stepped in front of me. Forcefully, I continued to try to get past her, but she kept throwing herself in front of me. Just the antagonistic behavior brought those feelings back from the program—Roger, his gun to my head, forcing me to do the unthinkable.

  Gunther seemed a little surprised by her brazen behavior, but he saw what I was talking about. “Leave him alone,” he muttered.

  “Oh, but I can’t. We have some unfinished business.” Her twisted laughter raked on my last nerve. “Don’t we, Henry?”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and groaned as her hips brushed against mine. With my arms at my side, I stiffened, looking past her, trying to avoid even seeing a strand of hair.

  “Get off of me, you whore,” I growled.

  “I can get you off.” She swayed and rubbed her chest against mine. “Probably much better than that stick-in-the-mud girlfriend of yours.”

  My jaw clenched and my want to deck her overshadowed any logical thinking. How dare she say anything about Elaina?

  “My Elaina takes care of me very well,” I repeated to her for the hundredth time.

  “Mara, leave him be,” Gunther warned.

  She looked at Gunther. “Hmm… You look kind of kinky yourself. I bet you like it rough, don’t you?” she purred while she pressed against me. “That Quinn sure is a lucky woman.” Then she smirked. “I’m up for a double. How about you boys?”

  “Get the fuck off me!” I yelled. “This is your last warning.”

  “Or what?” She moved closer, her lips a millimeter from mine.

  I broke free from her arms and shoved her against the wall. “You want it rough?” I grabbed her jaw, holding her firm, then got close to her face and snarled, “There. Hope it was great for you.” In a vicious scream, I said, “Keep your fucking hands off me!” She was terrified. Good. When I let her go, she cowered on the floor. Pointing at her face, I added, “You fucking psychotic whore! I have eyes for only one woman, and you aren’t her. Stay the fuck away from me!”

  “Come on. Enough. Cool off, mate.” Gunther grabbed my arm and dragged me down the hallway.

  “What the fuck is her problem?” I growled.

  “I don’t know. She has issues. But you have to control yourself. No matter how much she pisses you off, you can’t do shit like that.”

  He was clueless and had no idea what memory was triggered by what she did to me. My body shuddered, fighting the wave of nausea. I clenched my fists a few times before admitting, “I know… You’re right. I just don’t know how to get my point across to her because she doesn’t listen.”

  “Just cool down, mate. Take a few breaths.”

  Closing my eyes for a moment, I pushed everything back. “I need to go grab Josie and Josiah. We can bring the piano down later. Can you let Cora and Quinn know we’re set?”

  “Of course. Whatever you need. I just need you to steady your emotions.”

  “Yeah…working on it.”

  We headed off in opposite directions.

  After I located both Josie and Josiah, we walked to the music room. Josiah sat at the piano bench, and Josie went to a chair quite a distance away. The vibe coming from her read very uncomfortable.

  Focusing on Josiah, I leaned my hip against the piano and said, “Show me what you’ve got.”

  “What do you want to hear?”

  “You pick.”

  “All right. Um…” Josiah pushed his hair off of his forehead. “Oh, I got it.”

  I took a seat near Josie as he played Jon Legend’s “All of Me”, the very same song I sang to Elaina. The song gave me the chills. Always had. I rubbed my forearms as I listened to Josiah belt it out.

  Perfection.

  When he finished, he spun around on the bench and gazed at me.

  “Wow, mate. That was fucking amazing.”

  “Thanks. Is that one you would like me to play?”

  “Yeah. I love that song. It’s perfect. Can you start with that one?”

  “Of course. What others do you like?”

  I thought for a few moments. “Have you ever heard “Falling Slowly”?”

  “Ah, yes. Good one.” Josiah turned and faced Josie, who looked away, avoiding his glance. “Josie, do you know that one? It’s guitar and piano from that movie Once.”

  “Umm… I think I do,” she mumbled. “Can you play a bit of it?”

  Josiah stared at her, the tension in the room building. Glancing back and forth between the two of them, I asked, “Is there an issue between you two that needs addressing?”

  He turned back to the piano and took a deep breath. “No. We just…” He started, then cursed under his breath.

  “Do you want to get it off your chests? It’s just the three of us here. It won’t leave this room,” I encouraged.

  “No,” Josie snipped. “Drop it.”

  I mouthed, All right then.

  After several long, silent seconds, Josiah began the song and Josie worked in the guitar. I decided to leave the rest of the musica
l decisions up to them and headed out to take care of a few more things. Maybe they could work out what the issue was between them while I was out of the room.

  Henry left the music room and, once again, reticence filled the air around Josiah and Josie. She wouldn’t even look at him. He got up from the piano bench and knelt in front of her.

  “Josie…can we get through this?”

  “There’s nothing between us. Nothing to get through,” she muttered.

  “I beg to differ. Can you tell me what’s going on?” Heavier silence. “Okay, well, can we at least work together through a couple songs for Henry and Elaina?”

  “Yeah.”

  Josie grabbed her guitar and stood, forcing Josiah back on his heels. He rose and headed back to the piano bench.

  After several hours of Josie refusing to say anything besides choosing songs and practicing them, she left the room.

  Josiah pounded the piano keys with his fists, then lay his forehead on them, exhaling a sigh. The frustration was far beyond anything he had ever felt before. He was certain his heart would not recover from it.

  Cora and Elaina walked back into Gunther and Quinn’s room. She was completely over the moon that Henry and she decided to have the ceremony.

  “How are you feeling?” Elaina asked a green-hued Quinn.

  She held her stomach and shuddered. “Ugh…”

  “I had horrible sickness with Silas. I bet you have a little spitfire in there,” Cora giggled.

  “Seeing as this is Gunther’s baby, I already suspect I will be tested time and time again.” They all laughed a little. “Do you have it finished?”

  “Pretty much. I just have a few last adjustments, but I will need her for that.” Cora smiled at Elaina. “I’ll be right back.”

  “What’s going on?” Elaina asked.

  “You will have to wait and see. It’s a surprise.” Quinn smiled slightly.

  A minute later, Cora came back in with white fabric draped over her arm. “What’s that?” Elaina asked.

  “Your dress.” Cora smiled.

  Really confused, she said, “My dress… I don’t have a dress.”

  “You do now.” Cora carefully displayed it on the desk.