Ade who almost never cries also has a tissue dabbing at her eyes. “Cass is right, babe. And as thankful as we are that you’ve decided to finally let us in, why now?”
It’s a very valid question which needs an equally validated answer.
“Honestly, I don’t know. These past several days I’ve been weighing the choices of my actions, my predicaments, my relationships and it was like an epiphany—I was letting someone else dictate what I saw, how I felt. And so I said fuck it. Hours and hours I looked at myself and thought why do I feel this way?” My eyes shift from one to the other. “I came up blank. Then I thought of all of you and how supportive you’ve tried to be even when I didn’t want to accept it. My conclusion was, I’m okay; what I see is perfectly fine.” They both nod their heads at me in agreement. “It’s going to be a long road, but I finally realized only I can choose to make things better for myself.”
The past several days I wondered if Drew was the last piece in the puzzle to help with my turning point, but he wasn’t. Well, not just him. It’s all of these people around me, the ones who’ve tried to tiptoe on eggshells concerning me. The ones who refused to give up on me when I had given up on myself. The people around me kept playing over and over in the hours I stared.
I wanted to fight for me. I wanted to fight to be a better person for those around me. As much I know I deserve happiness, I want them to be happy as well. It comes full circle. It was all of the facets in my life coming together as one. I think my outburst at Sammy helped too. If I’m being honest, getting that off of my chest felt like a huge weight being lifted. I had been harboring so much ugliness and anger towards her, and letting it go, even if it was all placed onto her? It became a last push I truly needed.
“Good, we’re so glad to hear it babe. And you know, like always, Cass and I aren’t going anywhere.”
I finish off of my glass. “Yes girls, I get it now.”
“Since we’re talking about that night, let’s go back to Drew, shall we?” Cass gives me a sly grin.
My face flushes and I peer into my empty cup. I set it down. “Okay, what would you like to talk about?”
“Aye nena! Don’t play dumb! We all saw that kiss. How was it?” Ade’s excitement is palpable.
I melt just remembering how tender he was and how the world just disappeared.
“The best kiss I’ve ever experienced, girls. I can’t even put into words how amazing it was. What I can say, is that everyone’s first kiss should be exactly like that…You know he told me I was always his favorite girl.”
“Aww!” they swoon in unison.
I giggle like a schoolgirl.
“Was always?” Cass snaps her fingers. “That’s right! He’s known you since you guys were kids.” Her eyes widen and her hazel eyes glow a bright amber. “So does this mean he, like, always had a thing for you?”
Huh. I never really read into it at the moment. I mean, did I melt in a puddle of girl-who’s-lost-her-mind-over-hot-guy? Sure, but did he always?
“To be honest, I’m not sure.”
“Well…have you always had a thing for him?” Cass cocks her head to the side.
“She totally has! Look at her face!” Ade stops laughing, then asks, “I have a question.”
I look at her to continue.
“I’ve overheard him call you ‘Sweetheart’ a few times, any particular reason why? Or is it just a term of endearment?”
I smile at the memory of why he calls me that, “Yes, there’s a reason actually. It’s an inside joke from when we were younger, and I schooled the Dean boys in video games.”
“Dude, don’t be pissed because I kicked your ass.” I heard Drew say to Kip as I walked by. They were playing Soul Caliber in our family game room, and my brother looked pissed.
“Whatever, man. I’m not mad.” He handed off the controller to Jax and sat back. I stood in the doorway and watched Jax and Drew going at it. The round was almost over because Jax’s guy was going over the cliff, which meant Drew would win that round too—from what I could gather anyway.
“Why don’t we play teams?” I suggested walking in.
“You sure you want to play, Kennie? I’m on a roll. I wouldn’t want to upset you.”
What Drew didn’t know, was that I’d been practicing with Kip in my spare time. I learned that I really liked fighting games.
“Yeah. I’d like to give it a shot.” I darted a glance to my brother who winked at me and stifled his laughter.
“It’s okay, I promise to go easy on whatever team you’re on,” he announced full of cockiness.
“So what are the teams?” Kip asked.
“Why don’t we do sibling teams?” Drew suggested. Kip groaned for dramatic effect, but agreed. It was me against Drew first round.
“Sounds good to me,” Jax spoke up.
I picked the character Ivy. Drew chuckled. “Is there something funny about my character pick?” I asked him.
He picked Nightmare and responded, “No, not at all. It just goes well with you. Picking a girl when you’re a girl, it’s sweet really.” He turned towards me, “In fact, I think your first official gamer name should be “Sweetheart”.”
“You’re so funny.” I said back to him, “Let’s play.”
Three rounds later, Drew was eating his words.
“Holy shit, I got my ass handed to me.”
I smiled at him as I handed the controller over to my brother, “That about sums it up.”
“I got hustled, though. Kennie, you kicked my fuckin’ ass—every single round too.”
“Don’t you mean, ‘Sweetheart’?”
“Kip, you didn’t tell me she could play.”
He doubled over laughing on the couch, “Face it dude, you dug your own grave with that one.”
“What? You thought the bigger your character, the more intimidating you would be? His movements are slow. Slow and steady doesn’t always win the race,” I stretched and got up.
“Why are you laughing, bro?” Drew asked Jax.
“Because it’s funny, duh. You have to admit, Mackenzie schooled you.”
I walked over to Drew, “There, there now,” I patted his head, “Get some more practice in if you want to win next time.”
I moved to walk out, but only after giving Kip a high five.
They both burst into laughter. “What a great story, girl!” Ade says to me.
I’m laughing right along with them, “Thank you.”
After the laughs subside, Cass asks, “So, back to business, when he went after you—you know when you stormed off, what did he say? You came back looking kind of shocked.”
Damn how intuitive she is. Damn it all to hell. If I’m going to come clean about that specific activity, I’m going to need more wine. I pour myself another glass and look into it before raising my eyes, peaking at them through my lashes.
“He didn’t say much, but he did cheer me up—considerably.”
They both look at each other in confusion; then back at me. “Okay, so what did he say?” Ade speaks up.
“He said…I felt good. I remember that one for sure.”
The faces baffled by my vagueness are funny. Well, until the Latin sexual kitten puts two and two together.
Gasping, Ade crashes her glass onto the table. “You dirty slut! You fucked him didn’t you?! Oh, was he good? He looks like he would be...” She gives me an all-encompassing smirk while Cass coughs after choking on the drink she just took. Her mouth forms an “o” shape.
“Adriana, the term ‘fucked’ is so crude.”
“Sorry, Cassandra. But inquiring minds want to know,” she shoots back.
“Okay, I did, and Cass,” I turn to her, “the term ‘fucked’ is crude, but accurate to what happened.” I shift my gaze to Ade. “Yes. He’s good at everything—as far as my experiences have proven anyway.”
Ade raises her glass, “Cheers. I’ll drink to that. Our Mackenzie needed a piece of ass. Badly.”
“I will not toa
st to that Ade, but thanks. Getting a piece of ass wasn’t what I needed—although it was nice.”
“You’re fooling only yourself if you think getting a piece of ass wasn’t of top priority.”
“What would I do without and your smart remarks, Ade?”
“You would be lost. Lost and bored. No doubt about it.”
“Okay you guys.” Cass shakes her head back and forth with a smile. Then she gets serious on us. “So what does this mean for you two? Are you going to start dating? Have you talked about it?”
“Cass, muchacha de dios. Just because she slept with someone once, doesn’t mean they need to start planning a future.”
“I’m not saying she does. But she does see him oh, I don’t know, pretty much every day because they are neighbors.”
Ade rolls her eyes and continues drinking her wine.
“We did have a good day today. He came over and we just talked. It was really nice. He wants to take me on a date tomorrow night, actually.” They both squeal with excitement. I love these two. I don’t remember the last time we had a real girl’s night, with real interaction and real laughs. It was very much needed.
They both hung around for a little while longer. Twenty questions about Drew and me, how long we’ve actually known each other and life in general. I’m so glad for tonight. I’m starting to feel connected to my friends again. I can tell by how late they stood, they didn’t want the night to end. As most things though, it had to come to a close, at least for tonight. I gave them both giant hugs thanking them for standing by my side and for being so much more than understanding of how I’ve been. They told me not to give it a second thought.
It’s now after midnight, and I need to crash. Jax has become more of a drill sergeant than a partner to run with. I thought I was bad when we first started, but the guy is like a machine. Lying down for the night, I smile. What a great day it was—one of the best in a long time. Now, I need to talk to Kip. My brother is owed an explanation, and that won’t be easy with him. He called a few times over the past few days. I know he was fishing for the explanation, but if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s not pushing. He trusts me enough to come to him when I’m ready. The fear I have is how much it’s going to hurt him to know what happened to me, and the fact that I dealt with it alone.
I’VE BEEN ON a constant high all day today. I finally feel like Kennie may be coming around. We didn’t go into too much detail about our past, but I feel like there’s been some progression. Even this morning before work Jax said he’s seen a change in her. He says she just seems lighter in a way. That makes me happy. Although I know my brother has always had a one up with her, it still means something.
ALL DAY AT work, I rack my brain with things to do for our date. I’m not completely familiar with the area anymore, so I decide to go online to look up something fun for us to do. Dinner and a movie would be nice, but maybe dinner and a nice long walk somewhere. The days have been chillier since we entered November, so it could be a perfect night for a walk, and, some catching up. While I’m searching for something not mundane to do for tonight, my secretary, Lisa, calls my office phone.
“Mr. Dean?”
I press the buzzer to answer. “Yes, Lisa?”
“I have Kip Tillson here to see you.”
“Sure, send him on back.”
Shit. Surprisingly enough, I haven’t seen Kip since that night. We’ve been working on different projects. As far as my and Kennie’s situation, I’m not sure what he did or did not see. It’s a little after one in the afternoon, so I’m thankful I at least won’t be doing this on an empty stomach. I hear a knocking on the door. I call out for him to come in.
Kip walks in and shuts the door. Even though we haven’t seen each other, we still dressed in like—white button up shirt, thin grey silk tie, and some dark slacks. He crosses his arms over his chest and gives me a hard stare before walking over to look out of my window.
“Drew.”
Here we go. I lean back in my chair and cross my arms as well, “Kip.”
“Do you remember that talk we had a couple of weeks back?”
“Refresh my memory.”
“The one where I told you to leave my sister alone—is it coming to you now?”
“Ahh, yes. I remember now, and if you’ll recall, Kip, I don’t take kindly to orders. I’m a grown man.”
He turns around to face me. “I swear to you, if you ever do anything to hurt her, I will fuck you up. She doesn’t need any more headaches in her life.”
I give him a sly grin. “Who says I’m a headache? You?”
“Dude—”
I hold my hands up and cut him off. “I know you’re being serious man. Understand this: I have no intentions of hurting your sister. In fact, making her happy is my top priority right now.” I lean forward in my chair as Kip sits down in front of my desk. We both have our elbows resting on the solid oak wood. We stare at each other, wearily, testing each other’s argument.
“I’m just not comfortable with it, man. But Mackenzie called me this morning and asked to talk over brunch this weekend. So, I was just stopping in to give you a fair warning as a professional courtesy. She is my heart, Drew, and I’ll be damned if I ever let someone hurt like that again.”
No, Kip is still exactly the same when it comes to his sister. He hasn’t changed in the slightest.
My family’s back visiting for the second year in a row since moving. Christmas was in a few days, so my parents decided we should spend it together with the Tillson’s. Kip and I have kept in touch somewhat, but it’s always good to see him again. My girlfriend, however, was upset she wasn’t coming. We’ve only been together a couple of months so I didn’t see the big deal, but whatever.
I sat down at the upstairs dinner table with Kip and Jax. Our parents sat at the more formal one in the Tillson’s official dining room downstairs. We opted for pizza and video games instead of something fancy. We’d been back a few days and I had yet to see Kennie. Apparently she’d been hanging out a lot with some guy at school. Kip wasn’t happy about it, but then he would’ve been happy if she stood single forever. It all felt familiar, yet different. Jax and I had been telling Kip about our new school, our girlfriends—the usual. He said he was in between girls right now, and that they were too much of a hassle anyway.
I heard the door chime and my parents greet Kennie. Good, I haven’t seen her in a year, I was curious to see what she’d been up to.
“Kip?” she yelled, coming up the stairs.
“Yeah, we’re up here,” he yelled in return.
When my eyes rose to see her, my mouth dropped open. Fuck. This past year had been great to her. She’d grown up and she was fuckin’ hot. Her tight jeans and tight shirt did nothing to ease the thoughts that formed in my mind.
“Mackenzie!” Jax smiled at her.
“Jax!” she squealed, running over to hug him.
He ruffled her hair. “How ya been?”
She batted his hand away. “Good, and you?”
I interrupted their reunion. “Kennie.”
She turned to face me, and stopped. We locked eyes—my light greens to her crystal blues. I could’ve sworn her thoughts ran along the same line as mine did when I first saw her walk up.
“Drew,” she gushed, strolling over to me. I embraced her in a hug.
I whispered into her ear, “You look really good, Sweetheart.”
“So do you,” she whispered back.
She pulled back and smiled. And damn that smile. She was definitely a heartbreaker, I knew it.
“Mackenzie, you seem in better spirits.”
Huh? That was a weird comment. “What do you mean?” Jax responded grabbing another slice of pizza.
“Well,” Kip explained as she rolled her eyes. “She just broke up with her boyfriend after finding out he was lying to her. What was he lying about again?”
“He said he had no interest in Kim anymore and I caught them making out. Ugh.” Her face t
wisted in disgust.
Had I been that much of a douche bag to chicks a couple of years ago? I sat and reflected for a moment ashamed at the realization that, indeed, I had been.
“Anyway, she came to me a girlie mess,” Kennie flipped him off and we all started to laugh. “So, I picked her up from school and roughed him up a bit. You know, typical big brother style.”
“Yes. You’re my very own personal saint,” she retorted sarcastically.
“You knew it was going to happen. These dicks keep hanging around you to get into your pants. Not on my watch.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She waved her hand. “I’m going to change into something more comfortable. I’ll be back in a minute.”
She walked off. Kip zeroed in on me. “I saw how you were looking at my sister. If you even think about touching her, you’re dead.”
The day has come to a close, and Kip’s warning is still faintly ringing in my mind. I pack up my things for the day, noticing Jax is already gone. I didn’t see him much today having had my nose stuck to the grind for the latter part of the day. Kip’s visit put me a little behind, but for the sake of his sanity, I’m sure he feels a lot better. I can admire and respect the fact that he takes such good care of her. If I hurt her—which I never intend to do—we’ll definitely come to blows. She means too much to me, so maybe tonight I can figure out a way to open up to her about things I’ve been holding on to as well.
I bought tickets for a movie at the Tampa Theatre tonight. It’s known for showing classics, and as luck would have it, Say Anything is playing tonight at 7:30pm. I’ve never seen it, but I know what it’s about, and I’m sure Kennie will love it. The pictures of the theatre seemed unlike any I had ever been to, so I hope she doesn’t think its lame. Not really sure if she’d be interested in it, but I figured something different would be a nice change of pace.
I park my Skylark, running through numerous scenarios in my head as to what to say, not to say, how to act. I don’t know why my nerves are suddenly kicking in. This is Kennie we’re talking about; I’ve known her forever.
Ending a Broken Journey Page 17