Doing My Own Thing

by Nikki Carter

  “The only one who can make Dreya feel better is herself, Aunt Charlie. She’s got to stop thinking about Truth.”

  My mom says, “You got that right. Once she stops thinking about Truth, she can get over him, and once she gets over him . . .”

  “She can move on to the next one,” Aunt Charlie says.

  My mother shakes her head and sighs. “I was going to say that once she gets over him, she can make a plan for her own success.”

  Aunt Charlie rolls her eyes. “Oh, yeah. You and your daughter are just so positive! It’s enough positivity in the room between the two of you to give us world peace or something.”

  “That sounds like a hater comment,” I say.

  My mother nods in agreement. “I think your aunt needs a group hug.”

  “You heffas better not hug me.”

  My mom winks and I rush over to the couch and plop down next to Aunt Charlie. We squeeze her tight from both angles, giving her plenty of the Tolliver love.

  Aunt Charlie says, “I’m still mad!”

  But I don’t believe her, because she’s laughing out loud!

  12

  We leave for Barbados tomorrow. Score! I am excited beyond words. I’ve never been on an island. Shoot, I’ve never been out of the country. This music-industry thing has some real perks.

  But before we go, I think it’s important for me to have a heart-to-heart talk with Sam. I want us to have a real drama-free good time in the islands. He’s the only real friend I’ve got going on this trip, and I want us to have a good time.

  He’s taking me to an interview at the radio station this morning. Hot 107.9 is interviewing me, Dreya, and Truth about our reality show, which premieres tonight. Sam is tagging along because I asked him to go to the aquarium with me this afternoon.

  Sam’s driving today, because I don’t feel like driving. His raggedy SUV could use some pimping, but I’m not enough of a diva to even care. He pulls onto I-20 headed toward downtown Atlanta, and I sit back and get ready to enjoy the early-morning traffic. We have to be on air for the morning drive-time show, which Big D says is a big spot.

  “How is Dreya getting to the radio station?” Sam asks. “I could’ve picked her up.”

  I laugh out loud. I may not be too much of a diva to roll around in the rustmobile, but Dreya most certainly is.

  “She probably drove herself, if Big D didn’t come and get her.”

  Sam replies, “Or Truth might’ve scooped her.”

  “They’re not supposed to be seeing one another, so I don’t think that’s the case.”

  Sam raises his eyebrows and focuses on the road. “Alrighty then.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m not saying anything.”

  I poke Sam in the ribs. “You better not be keeping anything from me, Sam. I’m not playing with you.”

  “Okay, okay! Let’s just say that they may not be following the rules one hundred percent.”

  I plop back in my seat and let out a huge sigh. I knew that Dreya was being too cool about this breakup thing. When she’s around Aunt Charlie and my mom, she acts all sad, but when we’re at the studio or anywhere else, she’s just fine.

  “She’s still seeing him, isn’t she?”

  Sam nods. “Yep. He spent the night at her crib last night.”

  Dreya is so stupid. She is going to let her toxic relationship with Truth mess up everything we’ve worked so hard to achieve. And he’s not even worth it! Dreya saw the reality show! She saw Truth caught in the act with Bethany.

  Somebody needs to explain this to me like I’m a two-year-old because I just don’t understand.

  “The aquarium thing this afternoon. What’s that about?” Sam asks. “I know it’s not a date, so I’m just trying to figure out where I stand.”

  “I see you changing the subject, Sam.”

  He gives me a warm smile. “It’s just that I don’t want to spend my alone time with you talking about Truth and Dreya’s played-out selves.”

  “Alone time? Wow, Sam . . .”

  “Are we not alone?”

  “You are thirsty.”

  “Parched.”

  I swallow hard. It’s very difficult for me to be in close confines with Sam when he starts cranking up the crush machine. It just went from zero crush to three-sixty crush up in this automobile. Where is the escape hatch when I need it?

  After taking a moment to compose myself, I reply, “You’re right, Sam. The aquarium thing is not a date. Actually, it’s a play date.”

  “A play date?”

  “Yes. Like when two moms set up an afternoon of activities for their kiddies.”

  Sam laughs out loud. “What if I’m not playing?”

  I grin at him and refuse to play into his flirtation. “Well, can it just be about us hanging out before the next round of reality-show madness?”

  “Yep. It sure can.”

  “Good.”

  A light rain starts to fall, so Sam turns on his windshield wipers. “You know Bethany recorded one of our songs, right? Did I tell you that?”

  “Really? How did it turn out?” I ask.

  “Hot. She really did her thing. I can’t even lie.”

  “I knew she’d do well. Do you think Epsilon will give her a record deal too?”

  Sam shrugs as he leans forward to peer through the window. The rain is coming down just a little bit harder. “Maybe not Epsilon. She’s not really their kind of artist.”

  “Well, we should really try to push that. She could get us paid too.”

  Sam chuckles. “Now who’s thirsty?”

  “Yeah, parched!” I reply. “Are you ready for Barbados?”

  “Am I ready for you to be Dilly’s love interest? Um . . .”

  “Sam . . . it’s just for the video.”

  Sam nods. “I know. And he’s in love with Bethany. How do you think she’s gonna feel about that?”

  I shouldn’t care about how Bethany feels about anything. “She should be glad that her boyfriend is still in the mix after everything that’s happened.”

  “So you and Dilly made up? I don’t have to worry about breaking my foot off in his behind?”

  “We’re straight. Actually . . .”

  I start to tell Sam about the meeting with my dad and what he said about Carlos being the villain—just like Dilly had been saying all along. But for some reason, I change my mind. Maybe it’s because I don’t know if I really believe that or maybe I’m just not ready to bring Sam all up in that mix yet.

  “This is our exit,” Sam says. “I’m surprised we didn’t get caught in a lot of traffic.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  Sam pulls off of the freeway and drives toward Turner Field. This is my first in-studio radio interview. All of the others I’ve had have been on the telephone. Mystique offered to come with us, but Dreya and I decided that we didn’t need her there.

  When we get to the radio-station parking lot, I see Truth’s Impala, but I don’t see Dreya’s car. This is not a good sign. It means that what Sam said is true. They are back together.

  Aunt Charlie’s gonna flip out.

  We step into the building and see Truth and Dreya sitting together in a chair that only has room for one. Dreya looks up at me and gives me a wicked smile.

  “Don’t say anything, Sunday,” Dreya says.

  “What would I say?”

  “I don’t know, but whatever it is you’re thinking, please keep it to yourself.”

  The receptionist shows us up to the studio area where a bubbly production assistant is waiting.

  “Good morning, y’all!” she says.

  “Where’re the DJs?” Truth asks.

  “Well, as you know we’ve got the Rickey Smiley Morning Show on. They tape in Dallas, so they’re going to call in here.”

  Sam takes a seat in the corner. He’s not a part of the interview, and I don’t think he has a problem with it. He takes off his hat, drops it in his lap, and leans back with his eye
s closed.

  I hope I don’t need him to have my back during this interview!

  The production assistant is pointing to where we should sit. Dreya and Truth take seats next to each other, and I sit across from them. There’s a microphone in front of each of our faces.

  “Okay, when I give you guys the signal, that means we’re live and your microphones are hot. So don’t talk bad about anybody unless you don’t want the entire country to hear.”

  She doesn’t have to worry about Truth and Dreya saying anything into the microphone. They’re too busy drooling over one another. It’s completely sickening. I’m tempted to text Aunt Charlie and tell her what’s going on in here. But then, who needs Dreya to catch a beat-down right before we go to Barbados?

  We hear the intro to the Rickey Smiley Morning Show over the speakers, and the production assistant gives us a thumbs-up. This must be the signal! She never said what it was going to be.

  Rickey said, “We’ve got Sunday Tolliver, Truth, and Drama up in the spot this morning! They got a show coming on BET, and they blowing up the airwaves with number-one hits. Good morning, y’all!”

  “Hey, Rickey!” Dreya says as if they go way back.

  I say, “Good morning!”

  Truth says, “What up, Rickey?”

  “Already!” Rickey replies. “Tell us about this show! How did it get started? Is there gonna be a lot of drama? Like the Atlanta Housewives?”

  Dreya says, “Rickey, you know my name, babe. Drama is as drama does.”

  I roll my eyes and say, “There’s a little drama, but we keep it positive.”

  “I keep it one hundred all day every day,” Truth says. “What you see from me is the realest of real.”

  Rickey’s co-host Ebony says, “But what’s this I hear about a love triangle? We all saw the YouTube video. I mean what’s really going on?”

  “That was all media hype,” Dreya says. “I mean really, he’s got the best of the best, so why would he need anything more? Not hatin’ on my cousin, but you know.”

  “Yeah, that video was taken horribly out of context. There’s no triangle here,” I say.

  Okay, for real, there was no reason for Dreya to try to dump on me. Especially when I know her man did want me, even if he’s not trying to holla now. And how’s Dreya gonna explain all this reckless talk when the BET viewers see the footage of Truth and Bethany?

  “So tell us, what will we see on the show?” Rickey asks.

  “A lot of fly concert footage, behind-the-scenes stuff on the tour buses . . .” I reply.

  “Don’t tell me there’s no drama!” Ebony says. “There’s got to be. It’s a reality show, there’s got to be some good stuff.”

  “Well, it’s mostly under wraps, but I will tell y’all the show is crunk,” Truth says.

  I say, “Yeah, we’re really not able to tell too much about the episodes, but it’s gonna be really good.”

  “So, what’s up next for y’all?” Rickey asks.

  “Well, I’m about to shoot the video for my single ‘Can U See Me’ in Barbados, and we’re gonna get all the behind-the-scenes footage for that too. It’ll be a special on BET too.”

  “Can’t wait to get to Barbados! Home of Rihanna!” Dreya says. “I love her. She’s the only chick in the game that can hold a candle to me.”

  Ebony laughs out loud. “What about Mystique? She’s killing the game right now.”

  “That’s like comparing apples and oranges. She’s a good singer, but I’m an all-around performer,” Dreya replies.

  I am so glad that this is not a television interview, because I wouldn’t want them to capture the evil side-eye glare that I’m giving Dreya right now. She’s tripping for real. I knew that she was mad about me getting my own show and the celebrity treatment, but she’s on some old career-suicide stuff right now.

  Rickey says, “Well, I want to wish y’all the best of luck with everything you’re doing. I love to see positive young people on the come up.”

  “Thank you for having us on!” I say.

  “Already!” Rickey replies.

  The associate producer gives us another signal. This time she waves her hand in the air in a little flip. What the heck does that mean?

  “Okay, you guys are done,” the associate producer says when we don’t move. “Thanks for getting up this early to hang out with us.”

  As soon as all four of us are back in the receptionist area, I step to Dreya. “That’s the last time you gonna try to play me on radio, TV, wherever. I’m sick of your mouth.”

  Sam steps between us. “Come on now, not here. Let’s do this somewhere else.”

  “We can do it right here,” Dreya says. “I’m still the top chick, and you need to recognize. I think you smellin’ yourself ’cause BET and Epsilon is on you extra hard right now. But I’m still number one.”

  “You know what, Dreya, I’m gonna leave here, before I say or do something that you might regret.”

  I storm out of the building and huff and puff my way to Sam’s truck. He hurries to open the door for me, probably to keep me from jumping on Dreya when she and Truth come out of the building. Because I really feel like I could jump on her right now.

  Sam climbs in on his side and says, “You already know that Dreya is a trip. Ain’t nothing changed.”

  “I know, but every time we start to be okay, she does something crazy. I feel like I’m going to have to cut her off at some point.”

  “Nah, that’s your family. You won’t cut her off. But you don’t have to keep doing nice stuff for her.”

  He’s so right about that. I remember feeling bad that BET only wanted the next show to feature me, and how I pushed really hard to have her on. And now she just throws it right back in my face like she doesn’t appreciate anything.

  Before Sam pulls off, Dreya runs up to my window and says, “I know what you did, Sunday. Truth told me all about him and Bethany, and how you knew they were getting it on.”

  So this is why she’s tripping. I roll the window down.

  “Yeah, I knew. And I asked Bethany to stop! Your boyfriend was hooking up with her in exchange for tracks! How can you be okay with him and be mad at me?”

  “Because you are my cousin! You should’ve told me about it. Why should I find out on TV that my roommate is messing with my man?”

  “I was trying to protect you, Dreya! If I had known it was gonna be on the show, I would’ve told you.”

  “You still foul though, because you’re writing songs for Bethany. How could you help her after what she’s done to me?”

  “That’s business. It’s not personal.”

  “It’s all personal, Sunday. When are you gonna figure that out?”

  Dreya walks away from the truck looking dejected and leaving me feeling like a rat. Every time I do something to protect the people that I love it ends up going all wrong. Maybe the same thing happened to Mystique and that’s the reason she’s only got her mother and her man to rely on.

  That is not going to happen to me.

  “You want to go to Busy Bee’s Café for some breakfast, Sunday?” Sam asks.

  “I look like I need food?”

  He chuckles. “You look like you need something.”

  I need something, all right. Can I get an order of cool-best-friend-like cousin and a side of almost boyfriend? Then I’d like to top it off with a chocolate-covered Mommy-I-can’t-stand-Dreya-right-now. . . .

  13

  “So, I asked you to come here with me today because I want to tell you something,” I say to Sam.

  Sam and I are sitting in my favorite place in the aquarium. In front of the whale exhibit. My whales are so peaceful, and I think they know when I’m here. Well, I’d like to think that they do, but most probably they don’t know I’m alive.

  I think it freaks Sam out to come here with me, because this is where we had our first kiss. It’s a good memory for me, but not Sam, because he’s been trying to get me to claim him as my boyfriend
ever since.

  “How’d it go when you met up with your dad?” Sam asks.

  “Better than I expected, that’s for sure.”

  “You had Big D scared for a minute. He was tripping when you left with your dad. He thought you were going to let him manage you after that.”

  “Are you for real? He didn’t say anything about that to me.”

  “He told me he was real twisted.”

  I give Sam an emphatic head shake. “Nah. He’s got nothing to worry about. I might be looking for a daddy, but I’m not looking for a new manager.”

  “That’s a good thing for Big D.”

  “Sam, aren’t you going to ask what I came here to tell you?”

  “What do you want to tell me, Sunday?” Sam asks.

  I totally wish I could click the dislike button on Sam’s attitude-filled tone of voice. He has absolutely no faith in me at all, I see. He’s just assuming the worst from jump. I’m not liking this.

  “First, thank you for breakfast. Gotta love Busy Bee’s Café.”

  Sam chuckles. “Yeah, and you’re greedy too. If Epsilon wasn’t paying for this whole Barbados adventure on account of you, I woulda made you split the bill with me.”

  “Yeah, right. You invited me out,” I say. “How you gonna try to make me pay?”

  “I guess you’re right. Next time you can pay for me.”

  I laugh. “I don’t take guys out on dates.”

  “Well, that’s perfect, because we don’t go on dates, right? We go on play dates.”

  “Yes, that’s true, only play dates. We’ll have real ones soon.”

  Sam gives a big belly laugh. “Don’t go there today, Sunday. What did you want to ask me?”

  “I just want to know if you’re going to be cool with Dilly being my male lead in the video.”

  He shrugs. It is a noncommittal shrug. The kind that tells me absolutely nothing about what he’s thinking, which is all bad, because if he didn’t care, he’d give me a more concrete clue. Big sigh . . .

  “Why wouldn’t I be cool? He’s your label mate. That’s how Epsilon rolls. They’re trying to parlay this into a career move for him.”