'I'm not suggesting you would think of throwing me out!' Anna looked away from his suddenly tight face. 'Gavin and I talked things over long ago. He knew that if he ever-died, I'd go ... I couldn't. . .'
She stopped, too choked with tears to continue, and he took pity on her, leaving her future to some other time. It boded ill for the immediate future. He didn't know yet. Elaine didn't know, either. Maybe the solicitor wouldn't tell Dan? Maybe Gavin hadn't meant it? After all, he had been very ill.
'It's your final term,' Dan suddenly said, his tawny eyes keenly on her composed face.
'Yes.' She was fiercely glad that she had her emotions well under control at once. It wasn't easy, facing that intent look; memories kept intruding, and she hadn't quite got used to him again. She was beginning to realize just how short a time four years really was.
'So then what?' His lips quirked at her brief answer, and she felt color mounting under her skin. She had always been brief in replies when she was disturbed, either brief or turbulent, swinging from one extreme to the other.
'I haven't quite decided yet. When I get my finals out of the way, I'll see what turns up. I'm more or less determined to go overseas.'
'Determined? That's an odd choice of word!' One dark eyebrow raised and he kept his gaze punishingly on her face. 'It has nothing to do with the fact that you'll feel homeless?'
'Nothing at all! I always intended that. Gavin knew and so does Elaine. Of course,' she added softly, 'I might fail my finals.'
'It's not very likely, is it?' Dan murmured mockingly. 'You've sailed through so far.'
'How do you...?'
'Dad. We communicated!' he assured her drily. 'Straight maths! What the hell are you going to do with that?'
'There are endless possibilities,' Anna said a little tightly. 'I could go into industry, the banking world, the government ....' He was being scathing again, just as he had always been.
He was suddenly laughing softly. 'Government? I'm glad I live overseas. When you lose that prickly temper, the repercussions will be felt worldwide.'
'It may even reach you in your island paradise!' She wished she hadn't said that as soon as the words left her mouth, because Dan caught the touch of bitterness in her tone and his hazel eyes narrowed.
'I don't think so,' he assured her with a wry look. 'Owning an island, however small, has certain advantages. I have all the necessary equipment for survival, and endless peace. That's why I've lived there these past four years. I can get on with writing.'
And be alone with my wife! He didn't say that, but it was there, on his face, and Anna looked away abruptly, her eyes turned to the crackling fire.
'Oh, Dan, we've never asked about Daphne! How is she?'
'Very well,' Dan said in an unruffled voice. 'The baby is three now. Daphne decided to call him Trevor.'
Every word cut into Anna like a knife, taking her by surprise. She was over it. Better. Dan was back into the niche he had always occupied. Even so, she wanted to escape. She was just wondering rather desperately how she was going to manage it when Edna put her head around the door.
'Telephone, Miss Anna. It's from Oxford.'
'You're being recalled?' Dan asked sardonically, and she flashed him a look that was quite impatient, in spite of the fact that he was only just home. He could be quite patronizing sometimes. He usually was!
'I'm not in the government yet! It's almost certain to be Bryan,' she added with a brilliant glance at Elaine, sickened with herself for this desire to put on an act, to gush. She had nothing to prove to Dan.
'Bryan?' She heard Dan's murmured question as she raced out of the room, eagerness in every movement.
'Anna's boyfriend,' Elaine confided in a low voice. 'I would have thought Dad had told you. There may be other wedding bells soon!'
Anna closed the door into the hall and leaned against it momentarily, her eyes closed her breathing unsteady. Bless Bryan for getting her out of there. If she went on like this, there would soon be an atmosphere.
'Are you all right?'
Edna was standing holding the phone as she normally did certain in her own mind that if she rested it on the table for more than a second the line would go dead.
'I'm fine! Give me a minute and then put it down. I'll take it in the study.' Anna pulled herself together and went across the hall. She would have to watch her step. If Dan ever saw her like that, he would instantly think...
'What's happening up there? I hope you're not getting too miserable, Anna? No amount of misery will bring Gavin Toren back.' Bryan's voice was so welcome, and he prided himself on sound practical advice. It was only because he was worried about her.
'I'm all right,' she assured him. 'In any case, Dan's here now!'
What was she saying? It would have been much more all right if Dan had never come. Somehow they would have managed. They had managed for long enough! But Gavin had been there then, she reminded herself. She could manage, but Elaine never could, not until she was safely in Steve's keeping.
'Ah, the famous brother'
There it was again! For a second she felt angry with Bryan.
'I'm not related to anyone,' she reminded him a little sharply. 'Elaine is Dan's sister. I'm nothing at all!'
'Sorry! Did I hit a raw spot there?'
'No!' Anna forced a laugh. 'It's just that your mistake is the second time tonight. Edna said that earlier.'
'And did you go down her throat?' he enquired in amusement. 'I thought you had been brought up as one family?'
'We have. Will you stop prying into my life?' She was laughing, and he let the matter drop, to her great relief.
What she was to Dan was not a subject she wished to probe at the moment. She turned Bryan's mind to other things. It was nice to have a gossip with him.
CHAPTER TWO
THEY were both talking quietly when she went back, and Dan never even glanced around.
'Is it all fixed, then, Anna?' Elaine smiled across at her. 'Has Bryan arranged to get away for the wedding?'
'No. I'm sorry, Elaine. The hospital is so understaffed that he can't get even that day off.'
'He's a doctor,' Elaine explained to Dan. 'He did his finals last year, and now he's doing his time in a hospital. Oh, that sounds like Dartmoor! Sorry, Anna!' Elaine laughed. 'It's all right about him not coming. Just don't try to back out of being chief bridesmaid.'
'As if I would!' She was suddenly aware of Dan's eyes on her again, although he had no comment to make, and she hastily added, 'I'll go and help Edna with the dishes, I think.'
'I'm not offering,' Elaine said firmly, and Anna shot her a smile.
'Just sit there and grow beautiful!'
'If I could grow as beautiful as you, I'd sit still for months,' Elaine assured her.
'Flattery? You must be wanting something.'
'Will you come with me to the shops tomorrow?' Elaine asked in her most wheedling voice.
'You mean, will I drive you to the shops tomorrow,' Anna corrected. 'The answer is yes, providing you get out of bed before seven!'
She turned to the door, but Dan's voice stopped her.
'You're still an early riser, then?'
'Now and always!' Anna retorted, drifting out of the room.
Even the sound of his voice made her feel strange, resentment inside her still. It was ridiculous! He was married! He didn't even know about the burden that had been wished on him. He certainly wouldn't want it. She attacked the dishes with gusto, until Edna protested that she would rather have had no help and kept her nerves intact. Anna wasn't really listening, though. Her thoughts were trying to flyaway from her, to take their .own well-trodden path, but she refused to let them. The past was long ago forgotten. The future would be tricky enough after tomorrow.
Dan was alone when she went back into the drawing room, and she absolutely refused to back out stealthily. She wouldn't have had the chance, in any case, because he turned swiftly at the sound of the door opening. He was flicking water from his jacke
t, and she stared as if she had an unnatural interest in this action.
'You're wet!'
It was a stupid thing to say, but it covered a moment of unease. She looked round the room as if she was hoping that Elaine was hiding, and as usual her nervous way with him irritated him at once.
'She went to bed,' Dan informed her tersely. 'I'm wet because it's still raining heavily. I went to put the car away. Does that cover all the points?'
'Did you?' She knew she was just staring at him, getting used to him again, and for a moment he looked impatient.
'Did I what? Put the car away? No! I was blocked by a white Polo. It seems to have been abandoned by the front door!'
'Oh, I'm sorry. If you'd told me....'
'It's yours?' He leaned against the mantelpiece, his hands in his pockets now, and regarded her steadily.
'Yes. Your father gave it to me for my twenty-first birthday.'
'Four months ago,' Dan surprised her by saying. She was astounded that he even knew she was still alive. She wanted to go now, but he still wanted to talk.
'Don't you ever intend to come back here at all?' he suddenly shot at her.
'I haven't thought about it,' she lied, moving to the window and looking out at the dark, rainy night. 'Right now my mind has too much to cope with. There was the thought of Elaine's marriage, the finals, and then and then....'
'It must have been a great shock to you, Anna,' Dan said softly. 'You were only just seven when you came here to Langford Hall. Dad was always like a father to you. I wish I could have been here!'
'We tried to get in touch with you,' she said hastily, but he wasn't being angry anyway.
'You mean you tried to 'get in touch with me,' he corrected. 'I know Elaine too well. She just falls apart in any crisis. She doesn't have your composure.'
'We never even suspected that his heart ....' Anna said quickly. Praise from Dan, if that was what it was, was so scarce as to be frightening. She made herself turn to face him and say what had been on her mind for every miserable minute since Gavin's death. 'You won't sell Langford Hall, will you, Dan? You're rich! You'll never need the money. I couldn't bear to think of anyone else...'
'No,' he assured her softly. 'I'll never sell. It holds too many memories. I'm surprised that you feel so strongly about the place, as you're determined to leave it. You were never quite settled here, were you?'
'I loved Gavin,' she said with a stubbornness to cover hurt. Maybe she would have been settled if Dan had been different.
'He loved you. Your mother chose well when she asked Dad to be your guardian.'
'They were very, very distant relatives!'
'And he was once deeply in love with her, until a dark and handsome Italian came along,' Dan said quietly.
'You're joking! How can you possibly say that?' She looked at him in astonishment, but his lips quirked with amusement, the tawny eyes intently on her face.
'Dad told me. That's why he agreed to have you here. That's why he loved you so much.'
'And not for myself at all?' Anna asked bitterly, hurt, although she knew exactly what to expect from Dan.
'I didn't mean that. If I implied it, then I'm sorry,' he assured her irritably. 'You know perfectly well that he loved you for yourself!'
'Even though I'm a strange oddity.' Anna's tongue seemed to have taken on a bitter life of its own.
'He never seemed to notice,' Dan informed her drily. 'I wonder how the Will is going to cope with the fact that your parents insisted that you have a guardian until you were twenty-five?' he added thoughtfully. 'I don't know how the law stands there. Maybe you'll inherit your legacy straight away?'
She almost shot out of the room, leaving him to think whatever he chose. She couldn't stand there and lie to him about it. She couldn't tell him, either, that he seemed to have been landed with the task. The solicitor had only spoken to her about her own affairs. Gavin had set her up as a separate client with his own solicitor, who had written to her as soon as he knew that Gavin had died. She was disgusted with herself that she hadn't had the courage to tell him at once, to get it all over with! She was still wary of Dan.
She had secretly idolized him ever since she had come to this house. His laughing eyes seemed to be everywhere, and her happiness was out of all proportion to the deed when those eyes smiled at her. It was difficult to keep them smiling as she got bigger and began to have her own opinions and her own friends. Dan could be very caustic if he disapproved of anything.
She sighed, wishing she had already taken her finals and that, like Bryan, she was too tied to a job to be here any longer than tomorrow. She could have come to Elaine's wedding, faced things for the one day. Would Dan stay here all the time? Why hadn't he brought Daphne with him? Maybe the misery of a house that had just lost a loved one was not a suitable place for a child. She closed her door and locked it, but the thought of sleep was never more far away.
She showered and changed for bed, sitting at the mirror to brush her long shining hair, her eyes looking blankly back at her. She hadn't always looked like this. She knew she had changed four years ago, changed suddenly, her quick swing of character inexplicable to Gavin and Elaine. They had put it down to college and hard work, but it wasn't that at all. Things had always come easily to her, and she had always worked hard at school, everything she did was for Dan. Her days spent trying to please him.
She was a madcap, almost wild, but she never crossed Dan. She could never have faced a reprimand from him. Her hair had been long, a thick braid down to the bottom of her back, and she had been painfully thin, feeling awkward and ugly when Elaine, almost four years older, had begun to blossom out.
'How you can look so wild and be so clever at school is a mystery. It must be some sort of trick, witchcraft!' Gavin used to say.
But he had been amusedly proud when she had taken prize after prize. Dan never said anything. She wasn't sure if he even knew.
Then suddenly Dan was famous, the exciting books he wrote best sellers, being filmed, and he wasn't there any more. She had always been subdued when he was at home, but it was enough that he had been there, that she could see him, even though he had looked at her oddly from time to time, as if he thought she was strange. The looks had usually ended with a wide, infectious smile, though, and it was all worth it, although she had no idea how to get close to him. She would not have dared.
She had been fourteen when he'd gone to America to write the screenplay for his first book to be filmed, and she could hardly grasp the fact that he would be away almost permanently. He was twenty-five, and of course he had been away before.
She had always been unhappily withdrawn when he'd gone, but he had come back often. And when he'd begun to write he had stayed at Langford Hall. It didn't matter that he never noticed her except to keep her strictly in line. He was there and nothing else mattered.
'He's coming back, you know!'
Gavin had found her crying silently after he had gone, and she knew that she was too obsessed with Dan, that he was grown up and busy, but somehow she couldn't help it.
He didn't come back for three years, and suddenly his letters stopped too. She worked madly, more to occupy her time than for any other reason, and when he did come she was seventeen, and had just heard that she had a place at Oxford because of her exam results.
Anna got up and walked to the, window, looking down at the front of the house at the two cars glittering in the rain, hers and Dan's. She had been here when he'd come back. She was too excited, too shy suddenly to just wait with everyone else, but the excitement died on her face as he got out of the car and came round to help the woman out.
She was beautiful, Dan's age, slender and fair, almost fragile, and even from above Anna had seen the flash of the ring on her finger, an engagement ring. Something inside her froze, died; a stunned feeling of unreality overwhelmed her because she knew it could not be happening. She would have stayed there forever, except that Elaine called excitedly to her from the hall.
>
'He's here, Anna! Dan's home!'
He wasn't! He was simply visiting to let them see his fiancée, and jealousy tore into her, a feeling she had never had before.
When he saw her, he looked stunned. The long braid was gone now, her face fined out towards womanhood, her breasts softly tilted beneath the fine sweater she wore, her legs long and slender beneath a swinging skirt. She was not the thin, ungainly oddity any more, and for a moment he just stood staring at her.
'Anna?' He looked as if he couldn't believe she had grown up. Then he came forward and looked down at her, and she made herself face him with a smile, forcing herself to be in some way natural; but she couldn't control her eyes and Dan stepped back, pointedly not touching her, shocked no doubt by the grief that was deep in her eyes.
'She's grown up!' Gavin had said proudly, and Dan's eyes narrowed, his face back to the usual good-humored way he looked when he spoke to his father.
'She had to-one day. It was something that somehow never occurred to me!'
It was a week of torment, a never-ending nightmare because she couldn't dislike Daphne. There was something so sad, so vulnerable about her. Not that she had anything to be sad about. Dan was utterly attentive and Anna pleaded that she had loads of work. College was looming ahead.
More often than not she stayed in her room, making pretence of working, meeting them at meal times and the long, interminable evenings when the family gathered in the drawing-room.
But she had little to say, and when Dan's eyes rested on her she felt as if she was choking. He had little to say to her too, and she supposed that he was annoyed that she ignored his fiancée. No doubt he thought her rude and grown into an even more prickly oddity. He looked at her as if he was angry, his face somber and still, and there was definitely an atmosphere, although nobody else seemed to notice it. .
When they went, she couldn't face it. She stayed in her room and looked through the lace curtains at them, her heart breaking as Dan said goodbye to everyone. When he looked for her, they all suddenly realized that she wasn't there, and Elaine started to move towards the house; but Dan stopped her and came in alone.
Dangerous Obsession Page 2