He was coming to find her! He'd glanced up at her window and she'd drawn back fearfully. She couldn't face him! He had been angry all week, and if he saw her now he would be even more annoyed.
When he knocked on her door, she didn't answer. She moved to the farthest corner, almost cringing in her misery. Her eyes on the door as if a fearful beast stood outside. When Dan opened the door, she drew further back to the wall, pressing herself against its hard surface.
He didn't speak. He just stood there looking at her, and then he closed the door and came inside, walking over to her, his hands cupping her face as she looked down.
His fingers speared into her long hair, his hands warm and strong, tilting her face to his, and they were just looking at each other, saying nothing.
'Would you let me go without a word? Aren't you coming to say goodbye?' he asked softly at last.
He was bringing her into the family goodbye, but she didn't feel like the family, she just felt lost and hopeless. The tears she had held inside filled her eyes and rolled on to her cheeks.
'Don't cry!' His fingers roughly wiped at her tears, but they fell faster still.
This time she could not obey Dan and he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly, tilting her face until she opened eyes that shone with unhappy tears and looked at him. His eyes roamed over her face as if he was bewildered.
'Anna!' he whispered. 'Dear God! Where have you come from?'
She shook her head blindly, not understanding his words, everything weeping inside her. Where had she ever been but here, trying to please Dan?
His lips brushed hers and she responded wildly, out of all proportion to the gentle farewell. He looked stunned, unbelieving, and then he was kissing her, urgently and deeply, holding her close, his hands caressing her, molding her to him as her arms wound around his neck and she gave herself up so wrongly to this onslaught of passion.
It was Gavin's voice that brought Dan back to his senses. He was calling from the hall, and Dan stiffened and moved back just a little, fastening the buttons of her blouse that had somehow parted, straightening his tie and looking at her with eyes that now held no expression at all.
'Take me with you!' She sobbed out the words without thought.
'In two weeks' time, I'll be married!' he said stonily, his eyes narrowing when she winced as if he had struck her. 'I only came back to let everyone see Daphne and to have a talk with my London publishers. In future, I'll live miles away.'
'You don't have to marry her!' she pleaded distractedly, ashamed even as she said it. 'How could you kiss me like that when you're going to be married?'
'You don't know a lot about men, Anna. Respond to any man like that and you'll get kissed like that.' His face was cold, hard. 'I want to marry Daphne. Even if I didn't, she's pregnant!'
Every bit of color drained from her face and he turned away.
'You're only seventeen,' he said harshly. 'You'll survive!'
He walked out as Gavin's voice got dangerously close.
'Did you find Anna?'
She heard the question and Dan's answer. 'Yes, I found her. I've said goodbye.'
He had. He had said goodbye in the most pitiless way possible, because now she knew that her feelings for Dan were not merely a child's possessive devotion. It would never heal, this wound he had inflicted, and she didn't move from the wall as they drove away out of her life.
It had healed, though. He had been perfectly right.
For a while she had gone to pieces, but there was university, a new life and a secret feeling of shock inside her that Daphne was pregnant, even if Dan was going to marry her. Her idol toppled and fell, and she turned her thoughts to new things, new people.
If Dan thought he could now order her about, he was mistaken! Perhaps tomorrow he would visit the solicitor and be told the news. She was glad she hadn't given him advance warning. She had had no advance warning!
Fate caught up with her; the very next day. When she woke up she had a terrible headache, and she staggered down to make herself a cup of tea long before anyone else was about. She took it back to her room, had two aspirin and got back into bed. She lay there on the edge of sleep for a long time before giving the whole idea up as hopeless.
It was ten o'clock when she got downstairs, and Dan was just walking into the house. She could tell by the look on his face that the game was up, and he looked at her sternly, indicating the study.
'In here, please!'
'I haven't had any breakfast yet,' she said quickly, fighting to keep any anxiety out of her voice. 'I woke up with a bad headache and went straight back to bed. I've got a headache now.'
'The weight of guilt, no doubt.' He took her arm and she had no choice but to go into the study, flinching as he shut the door loudly.
'Winters rang this morning to ask me to go to his office.' He looked at her coolly. 'You know Winters, I believe?'
'Er-he's the solicitor.' She was ducking away from those angry tawny eyes, and she knew it. He waited until she faced him, more desperate to get it over and done with than from any burst of courage and his eyes were hard.
'Last night you had every opportunity to tell me about this gigantic role I'm supposed to play in your life!' he rasped. 'Instead you kept quiet, leaving me to find out from Winters. "You'll know of course from Anna that you're to be her guardian now that your father is gone?'" He was blazingly angry, and she had quite forgotten his ability to mimic almost any voice, usually with cruel insight. 'I had to be told all over again, of course, as you hadn't thought to enlighten me! Why did you keep quiet about it?'
He grasped her shoulders unexpectedly, and she was reminded once again how very strong Dan was.
'I thought you wouldn't want to be burdened with it.'
'Oh, I've no doubt whatsoever that you're the biggest burden possible!' he derided. 'Be that as it may, I've been designated your guardian and you knew all about it.'
'I'm twenty-one! The idea is ludicrous! I know full well that I don't inherit my father's money until I'm twenty-five, and I don't care at all. A guardian is something yet again! When my mother stipulated that, I was only a baby. She couldn't have meant it to go on for so long.'
'Maybe she had an insight into the sort of person you were going to grow up into!' he snapped
Her face went white and he turned from her abruptly. 'Damn it all, Anna, why didn't you tell me?'
'Maybe I've got insight, too!' she said bitterly. 'Maybe I knew there would be this scene. There's trouble enough without this. What good is a guardian? I'm legally of age. I can do whatever I want to do, and I shall!'
'Who's going to stop you?' he murmured, turning back to her. 'Dad looked after you. You don't need looking after now, except perhaps ... someone to watch over you.'
He sounded ruefully gentle, and she took courage from that.
'Tell him you won't do it, Dan,' she pleaded, looking up into the darkened eyes that watched her closely.
'I'm not sure what the legal complications of that would be. We can just say that I'm your guardian and then-forget all about it?' he suggested.
'You-you're willing to do that?'
She was wide-eyed with surprise, and he suddenly grinned down at her.
'Why not? I have enough to do without tucking you under my arm for the next four years. I don't even know you very well any more.'
'You never did!' It was out before she could stop it, and he stared at her hard, bringing a blush to her face. 'You think not? Perhaps I'll surprise you.'
She made for the door, counting the interview at an end, congratulating herself for getting away so lightly, but his voice stopped her.
'Come here!'
She could have been annoyed at the tone, but she was just surprised and walked back to him with only puzzlement on her face.
He took her arm and his other hand rested lightly against her forehead.
'I'm checking on the headache,' he said softly, amusement at the back of his eyes. 'I'm not at all sure what a
guardian does, but that seems to be fairly basic.'
She wasn't particularly amused and she didn't like being close to him either. Still, if he was going to make guardian jokes, the idea might grow on him. She gave him a tight smile that contained no amusement whatever, but then it didn't need to-at that moment he seemed to have enough for both of them!
Keeping a smile on her face when Elaine's wedding day came around was a physical effort of Olympic proportions. During the two weeks before, Anna had endured each day by throwing herself heart and soul into wedding preparations.
She was never still for a minute, and history seemed to be repeating itself as she skillfully avoided Dan, only having to face him at dinner and sometimes later in the evening when she could think of no further excuse to keep out of the drawing-room. She just didn't feel comfortable with him.
Four years had changed her. The slender thread that had always held her in his power had broken, and nothing had taken its place. He was like a stranger, and she had no idea whether this was because she felt differently and behaved differently, or whether it was all corning from Dan.
'You're exhausting yourself,' Edna said to her. 'There's no need for you to do absolutely everything. Miss Elaine is simply sitting dreamily around while you fly in all directions at once!'
'I'm loving it!' Anna said vigorously, but she wasn't loving it, she needed it! Dan had made no sign as to when he intended to leave. He seemed to have calls from his publishers or from America almost daily, and he spent a lot of time in the study, but he was always there, his presence all around her. At any time he might decide to interfere with her life, and she dreaded that. She didn't want to be entangled with Dan ever again.
The church was full when the day finally dawned, and Anna stood in the porch waiting for the bride to arrive. Her time occupied completely by calming two very fidgety ten-year-old bridesmaids. There was the ceremony to come, then the reception at a large hotel in town, and then it would all be over. And the end of the vacation was drawing closer all the time. If she could just survive the few weeks!
Elaine had not as yet realized the hidden animosity that was there between her and Dan. If she found out, it would hurt her badly, and there had been enough hurts without breaking everything up completely. He was still a giant in Elaine's eyes, as he once had been in hers.
Elaine looked beautiful as she arrived with Dan's uncle, and Anna spent a few seconds arranging the bridal veil before the music started and they all went into church. She wouldn't look at Dan. She knew where he was, though. If it had been pitch-black, she would have been able to home in on him. What was he thinking now? Was he thinking about his own wedding day? Was he regretting that Daphne was not here, after all?
He was in the front pew, and as Elaine passed him he turned slowly, his eyes running with amusement over the two nieces of the groom and then lifting to look straight at Anna. She hadn't been expecting it, and for a moment their eyes held. Elaine had chosen the dresses with Anna's coloring in mind. The small bridesmaids wore white organza sprigged with tiny flowers so that they almost seemed to blend with the bridal veil that trailed behind. But Anna's dress was a rose-colored silk, and with her olive-tinted skin and her jet-black hair she looked almost like a slender-stemmed rose herself.
It didn't help, though, to know she looked startlingly beautiful. When Dan looked at her, nothing helped at all. Something inside her resented him and she couldn't relax with him for even a minute. She tore her gaze away and stepped forward to take the bridal bouquet, forcing her mind to her duties, but she almost felt Dan's eyes boring into her as she stood opposite and the ceremony began.
When it was over and she walked down the aisle on the arm of the best man, she carefully avoided looking at anyone, her mind telling her steadily that it was almost over. There were the photographs around the church and then she could melt into the crowd.
As it was, she became the focus of all eyes. As they were getting ready for a shot of the wedding group she looked up and saw Bryan. He was all dressed for the wedding and he was standing a trifle anxiously at the church gate, trying to attract her attention.
'Bryan! Oh, please can you wait just a minute?' Anna called to the photographer, and then she was flying across the lawn, her hand on her head-dress, her face alight with joy and relief. Bryan to the rescue! Oh, bless him!
'You said you couldn't get away!' She launched herself at him and he caught her in a great hug, his pleasant face alight with laughter.
'I did a swap and a little fancy footwork. If I'd known this sort of greeting was on offer, I'd simply have walked out and told them to get on with it!'
He held her away and looked into her face, and she felt such a wave of affection that she reached up and kissed him right in front of everyone. He was so nice, so kind, not one bit of hardness in him. Why couldn't she just simply fall in love with him? Why hadn't she?
'Are you going to get me into one of the photographs?' He grinned down at her and she turned back to her duties as chief bridesmaid, but she still held tightly to his hand, as if it were a life-line, a protection from Dan and her uneasy feelings.
It all seemed to work. For a while Bryan was the focus of attention, and she forced herself to introduce him to Dan.
'This is Bryan Scott. Elaine told you about him,' she said with a warm smile at Bryan as they stood by Dan later. She was still clinging to Bryan's arm and he was beaming with pleasure. Normally he didn't get such attention from her, although they went out with each other regularly.
'The famous Dan Toren,' Bryan said with a disarming grin. 'I've read every one of your books!'
Anna's heartbeats accelerated at that. She hoped he wasn't going to say that he had borrowed them from her! He didn't, and Dan didn't appear to be greatly gratified by the compliment.
'It all helps with the sales,' he murmured laconically, his eyes moving almost at once to Anna's glowing face. She was making herself glow, congratulating herself on her tremendous acting ability. 'I'm glad you're here, though. It's the first time since I arrived home that Anna has shown any sign of life. I was beginning to wonder if she was ill. Obviously she was just pining!'
He gave her a rather sardonic look and then he was gone and Bryan glanced at her face, seeing the animation die out of it and a hidden anger take its place. 'Now, did I say something wrong?' he asked wryly. 'The praise didn't seem to go down too well.'
'I-it's not a good time for Dan,' she muttered, looking away from Bryan's suddenly questioning eyes. 'He never got here in time for the funeral, and all this so soon after... He did insist that things go on as planned, but he must be feeling it.'
That was what it was, she told herself. Maybe Dan thought she shouldn't have shown so much pleasure so soon after Gavin's death. Perhaps this queer tightness about him was grief that he couldn't show. An odd feeling of protectiveness came over her and she turned to speak to Dan, but he was already too far off. In any case, he was as strained with her as she was with him; who could tell how he would react to sympathy? There was no getting close to Dan, and she didn't want to.
CHAPTER THREE
AT THE reception Anna continued to be animated, smiling and chattering to everyone, dragging Bryan around from one group to another until he complained. Elaine was grateful, but quite a few people looked at her oddly once or twice, and Dan seemed to be positively glowering.
She avoided him all the time, changing direction whenever he looked as if he was about to speak to her, but finally she went to freshen up, and when she came out of the powder-room Dan was waiting for her.
'Has anything happened?' He looked so grim that she felt sure that in her brief absence something of grave importance had occurred.
'Not yet,' he said severely. 'By some caprice of fortune you're still on your feet! I haven't seen you sit and relax for two weeks, and today just about crowns it. What's the matter with you?'
'Why, nothing. I'm really enjoying this!'
It was a shock that he wanted to care for her, and
she forced herself back into a role that seemed to be quietly slipping away-but Dan was never fooled easily.
'The hell you are,' he bit out. 'You're glowing like an electric bulb that's just about to explode!'
'I can't just sit about when there's so much to do-' she began, but he took her arm in a firm grip.
'Nobody told me that you were expected to be the bride's mother, the church warden and the caterer,' he rasped sardonically. 'I fondly imagined you were merely the chief bridesmaid!'
'I want Elaine to have a lovely day,' she protested, pulling to get away from his grasp. 'If I don't keep going ... and then there's Bryan ....'
'Spare me, Anna!' His face was suddenly harsh, his grip tightening almost to cruelty. 'Bryan is surrounded by a whole group of beauties, all fluttering their lashes at him. Don't worry though, his eyes have probably never left the door. He's not likely to look at anyone else when you're around, or even when you're not! Your act has nothing to do with him at all!'
He was bitterly mocking and annoyance flared across Anna's expressive face.
'I'd like to go back inside.' There was a great deal of tension in her voice, and his eyes lanced over her as his grip slackened to gentleness.
'You're so beautiful!' he said softly. His hand came slowly up to touch her face, his long fingers stroking her skin, and a shudder of feeling raced through her, scaring her.
'Please, Dan, I'm tired!'
He was making things difficult. She already had him classified. He had stopped being her idol four years ago. She couldn't feel the pain now, but she remembered it and her voice was bleak, brittle.
'I know,' he assured her aggressively, 'and I've no right to help. Isn't that what you're telling me so subtly? I'm supposed to be your guardian now, aren't I?' he added tightly. 'I ask myself why I should give up the job, even though you are what romantic fiction calls a haughty beauty!'
They stared at each other angrily, then his face softened and his eyes began to smile.
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