You Can Go Home Again

by You Can Go Home Again [DaD] (mobi)

  Tucker wasn’t smug or self-satisfied, as he helped her to regain her feet. He knew that she had conceded the fight to him reluctantly, and he also knew that the fight was not really over. It would continue and grow harder to endure as they continued to be around one another from here on out.

  He watched her pull up her underwear and sweatpants, watched her face as she winced when even that soft fabric brushed closely over her abraded skin.

  “I’ll go pack a bag,” she snapped, and flounced away from him, her backside all but radiating red heat to match the long tresses of hair that bounced with her every step.

  It was only after she had disappeared around the corner, and out of sight, that Tucker allowed himself to shake out the pain from his smarting spanking hand.

  Jesus, it had been a long time since he’d warmed up her behind. He had to admit he’d missed it.

  Hell, he’d missed her.

  With a frustrated gesture, he raked his fingers through his hair. Just how the hell had things gotten so messed up between them? And how was he going to get through the next week or so with her around all the time again?

  Better yet, how was he going to bring about a reconciliation between Becky and her mother instead of watching them drift further apart? Her mother didn’t even know that he’d come up to get Becky and bring her home for the funeral. And despite the confidence he’d spoken of earlier, he wasn’t exactly all that sure that she’d want to see her daughter.

  But damn it, he didn’t care. Things had been messed up in Becky’s family far too long. She was right in her description of her brother -- he was a true bastard through and through and had done nothing but repeatedly hurt her family since he’d been a teenager. A drug addict and problem drinker, Mark never could hold a job longer than a month and constantly borrowed money from his parents with a half hearted promise that he was getting sober, only to blow their trust and the cash on more drugs. And despite many attempts on her parents’ part at tough love, they always inevitably let him back into their lives and their house and their pocketbook because he was their son, and they wanted to believe that he might one day get it right and walk the straight and narrow path.

  He never had been able to do that. And the money he’d mooched and wasted from his parents was only the beginning of the pain he’d brought to them. Over the years he had gotten violent with his father, resulting in a couple of fist fights, which Mom had ended by calling the police after Dad was able to close Mark off in a room on his own. He’d also physically threatened his mother on a few occasions, though he’d never actually carried out any of those threats. One time when Becky was a kid, a phone call came in that was for her brother and when she woke him up to answer the phone, he came up ready to take a swing at whoever it was that had shook him awake. It was only when he had her pinned to the wall with his arm drawn back at the ready to punch her that he realized who she was and released her.

  Though this type of violence was common, verbal abuse to everyone in the family was his most favorite pastime when drunk or high. He had also stolen cars, forged his parents’ name on school documents and checks, and been arrested more times than could be counted.

  He always announced that he was getting sober when he got into big trouble, and faithfully, though cautiously, his parents took him back in and supported him, hoping that this time would be the magic cure. For a few weeks, he usually would go through the motions, or at least make it look that way, and this was the cruelest of all things that he did because it made them believe in him every time. He would be a different person when he was clean, the son they missed, and though he was still surly and moody, his behavior was much improved from when he was high.

  Inevitably, every time he turned away from his parents’ love and help and returned to the world where he was most comfortable, that of booze and drugs.

  Becky had severed all ties with him once she’d been able to get out of her parents’ home, and had really stopped speaking to him since she’d been ten or so. Growing up her best friend, and later her boyfriend, Tucker knew how much she hated her brother, and not just in the common way many siblings fight. She’d seen at a young age how badly Mark hurt her parents, and she vowed early on to do everything in life the opposite of how he would. She’d learned in high school health class about addiction and how about twenty-five percent of the population had an addictive brain. Because of her brother’s problems, she’d worried she might be genetically wired with one, too. For some addicts because their brains lacked the presence of or the ability to make dopamine, the body’s natural feel-good chemical, the first time they tried drugs or alcohol, they became addicted.

  Because of that, Becky had never once touched drugs or even alcohol. Although she knew that the trouble Mark got into was due to the chemical reactions in his brain, causing him to lie, steal, and act out violently, Becky also went out of her way to be a good kid for her parents. They had enough on their plate, trying to handle her brother and his problems; she wasn’t about to add to their worries with more of her own. So, she got good grades in school and earned scholarships to college. She’d worked nearly full time while in college, so she could get her own place and out from under her parents’ roof. Never had she asked them for money, once she was out on her own. And as soon as she could after school, she’d found a job in another state, and moved away from all the pain and chaos her brother caused.

  She’d told Tucker at the time that she couldn’t stand by and watch her mother (for by then her father had passed away, and it was just her mother left to handle Mark) struggling with her son anymore. She worried about her constantly and was frustrated beyond words with her because no matter what she said to try to persuade her to get Mark out of the house, she never listened. Not even after he had repeatedly threatened her, and she’d had to call to have him arrested. Mom insisted that although he threatened her physically he would never carry out his threats. Becky thought otherwise.

  She’d tried telling her mom that if she didn’t stand up to Mark and kick him out of the house, then she wouldn’t talk to her anymore, and she would move away. Mom didn’t believe her, and, besides, Mark was on a new ‘I’m getting clean’ rampage.

  Becky was just sick of it all. So she did exactly what she’d said she would do and moved to New York, cutting off all ties with what was left of her family.

  That was when she broke up with Tucker. She insisted that all along in their relationship she’d been trying to think of him as a lover, when really she couldn’t get past their first relationship as friends. She’d told him to find someone who could love him the way she couldn’t and asked to remain friends, and most especially asked him to keep an eye on her mother in her stead. She called him regularly for updates on Mom and for very short, ‘friendly’ chats that were as uncomfortable and impersonal as you could get.

  Tucker hadn’t known what to think. While he wasn’t a cocky guy, he didn’t think he had imagined the way she looked at him over the three years after they had realized they were more than just friends. She loved him; he was sure of it. He wasn’t sure why she’d broken up with him when she left for New York, although he did have a hunch. And one of these days he was going to find out if he was right – and if he was, her butt was going to be sore for a month of Sundays when he was through wearing it out.

  In the meantime, he was going to do whatever he had to in order to get things fixed between Becky and her mom.

  And if he was really lucky, Becky might just decide to come home for good then…

  Chapter Two

  They had to take a cab to the airport, and the ride was charged with energy, to say the least. Becky was carefully avoiding eye contact with Tucker, despite his careful attempts to get her talking to him again.

  He couldn’t help but grin at the way she kept shifting every so often in her seat.

  “It’s not funny,” she hissed at him, not missing a beat.

  He bit back a chuckle. “No, of course not.”

  She snort
ed. “You are such a jerk. I can’t believe you’re sitting there enjoying this.”

  “I always did enjoy paddling your little backside, and even more so when it was richly deserved, like tonight,” he openly admitted, his voice hushed in observance of the cab driver who sat only a few inches away. He had to bite back another laugh at the incredulous look she shot between him and the cabbie after he spoke.

  “Well, I’m so glad you’re having fun embarrassing me…”

  “If you would’ve just been reasonable, I wouldn’t have had to resort…”

  Becky flung up one hand to stop him mid-sentence. “Okay, enough. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  Tucker nodded. “Sure thing, Red.”

  Calling her that nickname right now was like a final parting spank, and Becky seethed afterwards. A few awkward moments passed during the ride to the airport and then Tucker spoke again, his voice even more hushed now.

  “I don’t get it, though,” he started, and his gaze was warm on her face. “You actually seem angry with me… You’ve never been really angryafterwards… at least, not that I can recall…”

  Becky had hoped that he hadn’t noticed that, or that if he did, he would just attribute it to the spanking. But he was right. All the times she’d wound up over his knee in the past, not once had she truly been angry afterwards. Sure, there had been bouts of pouting, and times when she’d cried her eyes out and begged for his forgiveness, which was always granted. Other times, she’d been horny as hell, and of course, he’d always been obliging in easing that aftermath condition, as well. But not once prior to tonight had she been truly angry with him.

  She’d realized her feelings after the spanking when she’d been shoving clothes into her suitcase. At first, she’d tried to tell herself that she was only angry with him because he’d come into her life again and taken control so readily and easily. And, further, he’d taken her over his knee within a half hour of being back in her life, despite the tiny little fact that he no longer had any justifiable claim to her, let alone any right to handle her body in that manner, or any other.

  But deep down inside, Becky knew the real reason she was so angry with Tucker.

  Not that she planned to tell him!!

  “I’m fine,” she lied, looking at her tennis shoes on the dirty cab floor. “If anything, I’m a little miffed at you for…” She glanced up at the driver in the front seat, noting how his eyes shifted from the rear view mirror where he was discreetly watching them, back to the street in front of him. “…for… you know. That’s it.”

  Tucker studied her silently for a moment. “You remember what happens to you when you fib to me, Red?” he asked meaningfully.

  Becky resisted the urge to roll her eyes – remembering that rolling them had the same consequence that lying did – but allowed herself a heartfelt sigh. “Yessss,” she answered wearily.

  “Good. Then I won’t have to embarrass you by reminding you right now in front of our audience. So, you just think about that, and when we get out of this cab at the airport, you be prepared to give me a straight answer about what’s bothering you. You do that, and I’ll forget about the little lie you just told me; otherwise, I’ll find somewhere to impress upon you how little tolerance I have for dishonesty, and afterwards, I’m sure you’ll see things my way and come clean.”

  Becky had no doubt that Tucker would do exactly what he threatened. There was a certain charm about him, something in that slow, sexy drawl and easy smile that made people not only trust him, but pretty much go along with just about anything he asked of them. If she didn’t tell him what he wanted to know – or figure out a convincing lie to get him off her back – he surely would find a way to get access to a conference room or some other semi-private area at the airport where he could spank her again. She’d known Tucker her entire life, and she knew he wouldn’t hesitate for a second to spank her, even in plain public view. He’d never actually gone that far before – though he’d been close a few times, he’d never actually carried through on the threat. And with his charm, he’d probably get a good-hearted ‘attaboy’ slap on the back from the police instead of handcuffs and a cell for his trouble.

  Becky fidgeted in her seat, trying to find an area of her bottom that didn’t hurt to sit on. God, she’d love to be able to lie down on her belly, or even just be able to lean on her side, which hadn’t been subjected to that damn wooden spoon. But it would be a while before she could do either of those things. At least, she’d have a brief respite at the airport, where she could stand up, as they waited for their plane.

  Of course, if she didn’t come clean, that time when she could give her butt a break would instead be filled by another spanking. And Becky wasn’t sure if she could take another one and then have to endure sitting on her bottom for the plane ride home.

  It was that little thought that made her glance at Tucker for the first time in five minutes. Not surprisingly, he was still looking at her. He offered her a small, half smile of encouragement.

  Becky took a deep breath. “If you must know, I’m angry because… because…” She huffed an exasperated breath. “God, it’s so stupid. You’re going to think I’m so stupid.”

  Tucker surprised her by taking her hand. “You’ve never been stupid a day in your life, Red. Just tell me. You used to be able to tell me anything.”

  Yeah, she had. A lot had changed since then, though. Becky took another fortifying breath and spat out the words in a rush that was barely understandable even to her own ears. A fire engine red blush crept over her face, as the words left her mouth. “I’m a little upset with you because you didn’t try to hug me or anything after you spanked me. You always did before, and you didn’t today, and I know it’s stupid because we’re not together anymore, but it still bothered me, and… and… I don’t know…”

  Tucker still had hold of her hand, and he gave it a gentle squeeze now. “Shh, it’s okay. Don’t be embarrassed, Red… You’re right, I should have held you a while. Hell, I should have hugged you the minute I saw you.” His eyes were so warm and full of love that Becky felt she could barely stand to look into them for one more moment. “God knows I wanted to, though you might not believe that. But I did, Beck. I wanted nothing more than to wrap you up in my arms and never let you go again. The only reason I didn’t is because I didn’t think you’d let me.”

  She had to admit, to herself at least, that she probably wouldn’t have let him. Her pride wouldn’t have let her.

  Tucker released her hand and swept back the curtain of red hair that had fallen about her face. “I’m sorry, baby,” he said. “I’ll never make that mistake again.”

  Becky wanted to tell him not to worry about it, that she was a fool for missing his comfort after a spanking – or at any other time, for that matter! She wanted to tell him not to touch her at all, and to stop calling her ‘Red’ and ‘baby.’ But she found that she simply couldn’t do those things. The words wouldn’t leave her throat no matter how hard she tried to force them out.

  She could only sit there mutely, as Tucker put one arm around her in the back of the cab. When he glanced up towards the front and caught the cabbie watching them in the rear view mirror, he glowered at the driver and said, “Mind the road, man, would you?”

  Becky closed her eyes briefly and allowed herself the momentarily warm respite of Tucker’s hold, thinking forward to the icy reception she was sure to encounter from her mother upon her ill-timed return home.

  * * * *

  When they reached the airport, Becky followed Tucker inside, her carry-on looped over her shoulder, Tucker carrying the rest of her bags like a pack horse. Inside, they went through ticket check and then security check, then made their way to their parting gate. Once there, they set their carry-on bags down, and to her surprise, Tucker turned to Becky and pulled her immediately into his embrace.

  Slowly, she brought her arms up to return his hug, although she didn’t say anything.

  “I’m sorry I
didn’t do this sooner,” he whispered in her ear. “I should have done it the minute I saw you tonight, not to mention right after spanking you.”

  Becky’s face heated at the mention of her spanking, spoken so intimately into the shell of her ear.

  Tucker leaned back from her then and held her left cheek in his large right hand. The memory of that hand against the skin of her nether cheeks made her face flame hotter. He gave her that famous Tucker Rhodes grin, the one that always made her knees feel like water, and said, “Forgive me?”

  Still feeling stupid over being mad at him in the first place over something that didn’t even really make sense to her, Becky nodded immediately. Tucker’s grin widened, and he gave her a peck on the forehead. It seemed so natural for him to do it that Becky didn’t even think to be upset, although they weren’t dating anymore, and hadn’t even seen each other in over a year.

  She moved to the chairs next to their bags and sat down, feeling awkward and unsure of what to say or do now. Tucker sat down next to her, and his leg, the one she’d recently been wrapped around in the apartment, as he’d spanked her, touched her thigh. Heat, like a living thing, seemed to seep into her body from that little bit of contact, and she suddenly felt like she was sitting inside of a furnace.

  “So,” she started shakily, knowing she had to talk or else sit here in agony, stewing over her feelings, as knotted and mixed up as they were, “how is Mom taking Mark’s death?” It wasn’t exactly the topic she would have chosen had there been anything else she could think of to talk about, but she also knew it was better to go into this situation as prepared as possible.