The Real Deal (It Started in Texas Book 4)

by Lee, Liz

  God, parenting was so hard. But he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

  “You really did good, Sam,” Patty said standing. “I appreciate you coming over. Helping.”

  Like it was a favor and not part of parenthood. He didn’t know why but that pissed him off. That and the way she was so ready to dismiss him now.

  Woo her. Win her back.

  The thoughts slammed through his brain, and he tried to get his anger and fear under control. Focus on the positive. They had a common goal now. That was a step in the right direction. He just wished the goal weren’t so damn dangerous.

  He stood, too. “I think I obligated us to several more family dinners. I hope that won’t be a problem.”

  Patty put her hand on his arm, and his one track mind shot straight to his dick. Patty didn’t realize. She was in full-on mother mode.

  “It will be good for Cadyn.”

  He swallowed. He hoped so. Maybe tomorrow he could look at it that way.

  Patty walked him to the door then tiptoed up and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. He didn’t know if she was purposefully playing with fire or not. He just knew there was no way in hell they were going to end this night pretending to be just friends. He touched her shoulder and turned into the kiss, claiming her mouth, running his fingers through the soft edges of her short hair, massaging the tension in the bottom of her neck.

  The kiss did nothing to make him feel better, though. If anything it made him feel worse. Like getting a jar of maraschino cherries and eating one instead of diving into a whole sundae. Nice but not filling at all.

  When she stepped away, he didn’t stop her. When she apologized, he did.

  “I shouldn’t have kissed you,” she said with a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.”

  Sam had the forethought to make sure Cadyn’s door was closed. Thank God it was.

  He stepped into Patty’s personal space. “Patty, after last night, I don’t think you need to apologize for kissing me. We’re way beyond that.”

  “Sam, that was….it can’t….Just…we’re not.” She stopped, obviously flustered. Sam wanted to cheer because dammit, she should be flustered. But then she got herself all focused and kept talking, trying to make logical sense, which was crazy where they were concerned.

  “We’re divorced. That’s not changing. We’re together tonight for Cadyn. I appreciate that. But that’s all. There is no we. There won’t be any more kisses. It’s wrong of me to send mixed signals.”

  Her cheeks were red and her hands were shaking and suddenly Sam wanted to smile. Because his calm, cool, collected wife was anything but. Those nerves weren’t just because of their daughter. He’d gotten under her skin.

  “You go right on telling yourself that, Patty,” he said. “Just remember I know you. Completely. And I love you. That’s not going to change.”

  She turned away from him. “We need to focus, Sam. This is about Cadyn.”

  “It’s a good thing I can multi-task then, isn’t it?” he said.

  She didn’t respond at first. She just stood there ramrod straight like this was hurting her, which killed him. And suddenly even though he knew he should go slow, he couldn’t. He had to fight for her. Make his case, dammit.

  “Jesus, Patty. We are good together.”

  She blew out another long breath. She’d told him a long time ago the deep breathing exercises helped her stay calm in the midst of chaos. That they helped her find zen, whatever the hell that meant.

  When she turned to him this time her face was sad but serene. Like she’d come to some sort of acceptance where he was concerned. Like he was a problem student and she wasn’t going to take his issues personally.

  “Were. We were. Now, we’re two parents. Doing what’s best for our daughter.”

  And that just pissed him off seven ways to Sunday. He narrowed his eyes and stepped back into her space, wrapped a hand over her shoulder and waited for her alarmed eyes to meet his.

  He saw it there. The banked desire. And he tried to focus on that when he leaned close and whispered in her ear.

  “You keep telling yourself that, Patty. And when I walk out this door, you remember that I made you come twice in five minutes last night right here in this spot. And if you can tell yourself that and think we’re still over, remember I did it with you fully clothed other than those lacy blue panties. And then if you can still tell yourself that, remember I know how your eyes change color, how the hair on your arms stands on end when you’re turned on. And right now, you’re covered in chill bumps and your eyes are slate grey and your nipples are standing at attention. You’re saying all the right words, darlin’, but your body’s telling me a whole different story.”

  Patty’s nerves started trembling under her skin. She could literally feel them shaking. Her insides clenched and something in her brain whispered yes, yes, yes.

  And she knew she could have that. Could have a million mind blowing orgasms over the course of who knew how many years. Sam wanted to come home. And he knew every inch of her body and all her secrets. Had ever since they were kids like Cadyn was a kid. Like Nick Cannon was a kid.

  Maybe it was thinking of Cadyn and Nick that helped get her nerves under control. She stared at Sam, wished she could just give in because it was the easy thing to do. But it wasn’t the right thing to do. Not now. Not ever. He could destroy her. Had destroyed her. That was over.

  “You know my body, Sam.” She whispered the words because she wanted to make sure Cadyn didn’t hear them arguing. “But you have never, ever understood my heart. When you answered that call, when you left after promising those days were over, you proved that.”

  He started to speak, but she raised a hand and put it on his chest. God, he smelled so good. Like her Sam. “It doesn’t matter. If you’re back here for good now or not. It doesn’t matter, Sam. We are no more. I want us to be able to work together for Cadyn’s sake. But not if you don’t understand that simple truth.”

  “There’s nothing simple about that,” Sam said, still fighting for what couldn’t be.

  She swallowed and tried not to focus on her breaking heart. This wasn’t about her. “I’m not going to fight with you, Sam. You’re here because of Cadyn. That’s all. I divorced you for a reason.”

  Sam’s fight dried up after that.

  Maybe he didn’t trust himself to speak or maybe he realized she was right. Whatever the reason he turned and walked out of the house without a word.

  When he left she wanted to collapse on the couch and cry. But she couldn’t do that. She was the adult in the house. The mother.

  So she walked down the hall and knocked on Cadyn’s door. Cadyn didn’t answer. Nothing new there.

  “Cadyn, Honey.”

  She opened the door and Cadyn was on her bed, her feet on the wall, headphones on, staring at the glow in the dark stars Patty and Sam had put up when she was in elementary school.

  Her hot pink comforter was bunched at the bottom of the bed. The zebra striped sheets made Patty smile. Cadyn had saved to buy them because Patty had said no way was she spending that much on linens.

  Taylor Swift posters warred with Paramour and The Hunger Games for wall space. The white clothes basket had fallen on its side in the closet doorway and dirty clothes spilled out next to Cadyn’s discarded backpack and a pair of neon orange cross trainers.

  Patty walked across the white carpet, over the zebra striped throw rug and sat on Cadyn’s bed, sinking into it when she did.

  She reached out and touched Cadyn’s shoulder. Cadyn dropped her feet to the bed and rolled away, clutching her phone. Its display was lit up with twitter notifications. Patty could only imagine the conversations going on about lame parents.

  How was it even possible her little girl was this young woman? Patty wanted to lock her in the room. She wanted to stop time for just a moment. It seemed like only yesterday they were willing her to breathe. Willing those underdeveloped lungs to just work, work, work.

  She’d made
so many deals with God in those bleak days. Promised one thing then another then another. Most of those deals were broken over time but not the one where she’d promised to keep Cadyn safe if God would just give her the chance to be a mother.

  She swallowed back tears and her eyes caught sight of the photos Cadyn had taped to her mirror. Cheer competitions and gymnastic meets and dance class and lots and lots of girl friends.

  No Nick.

  She clenched her fist and held her fingers to her mouth, thankful for that at least.

  She pulled Cadyn’s hair back from her face, patted her back like she had when she was a baby.

  “You know I love you more than anything, right?”

  Cadyn slipped the headphones off and rolled her eyes. “Moooom.”

  But even though she protested, she rolled toward her.

  Something released in Patty’s chest. A combination of happiness and pain and fear and thankfulness.

  “I don’t tell you that often enough, I think.”

  Cadyn flopped onto her back. “You tell me every day, Mom.” And even though she said the words like a complaint, they weren’t at all.

  “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

  Cadyn heaved a long suffering sigh. “I’m not a baby, Mom.”

  No, she wasn’t. That’s what scared her so badly.

  “You want to talk about Nick?” She made herself ask the question.

  Cadyn pulled her teddybear to her chest and shook her head. “Huh-uh. Not yet.”

  Patty wanted to warn her. Wanted to tell her that broken hearts sucked. That boys could be so much trouble. That it was better to put up a guard, to not go heart first into like then love. That all the emotions were a recipe for emotional disaster. But it wouldn’t do any good. Those were lessons you had to learn by living. And she would thank God every day Cadyn got to learn those lessons.

  “When you are ready to talk, you’ll tell me, right?”

  Cadyn looked at her like she was nuts. “Okay.”

  And then she sat up, criss cross apple sauce on the bed. “I saw Daddy brought you your favorite flowers.”

  Danger. Danger.

  Cadyn’s face was so full of hope, Patty felt her heart break a little more.

  “Your dad’s a good man like that,” she said. And then she jumped up because escape was a much better idea than talking to Cadyn about Sam.

  “I’m going to clean the kitchen. Maybe you can help since this dinner was for your guest.”

  “If I do, are you gonna just rearrange all the dishes in the dishwasher? Because if so, it would just be easier for you to do them the first time.”

  Patty laughed. This was a conversation they had on a regular basis. Not at all dangerous like talking about Sam or Nick.

  “How about I do the dishes and you clear the table?”

  Cadyn followed her into the kitchen and started cleaning. And for a few minutes, Patty thought maybe everything would be okay. Maybe she and Cadyn would go back to how things used to be when it wasn’t like walking on eggshells with her. And maybe she could put her feelings for Sam in a box and pack them away like old memories.

  But then Cadyn walked by the flowers and picked up the card then looked at her in question.

  “What’s up with the number?”

  Patty looked at the card in Cadyn’s hand in question. And then she sighed and shook her head.

  “I have no earthly idea,” she said.

  But she did know one thing. Sam had been telling the truth when he said he knew her. She loved the flowers.

  “It’s some sort of secret code, I bet,” Cadyn said. “Something that shows he still loves you. That you belong together.”

  Patty hated the hopeful look at Cadyn’s face.

  “I bet it’s a reminder that you have Geometry homework.”

  And that took care of that. At least for the moment.

  Sam had been in more tough spots than he could remember, but the phone call he was making now ranked up there with the unforgettable’s – like when he asked Patty to marry him, Cadyn’s birth and getting to take her home after six weeks in NICU, thinking he was going to die, coming face-to-face with a younger him who wanted to date his daughter.

  “Hello, Sam.”

  Sam swallowed, feeling 18 again at the man’s voice.

  “Hello, Mr. Turner.”

  Patty’s dad paused before he said, “When you married my daughter, I told you to call me Dad. You and Patty divorced, but I still consider you my son.”

  Relief flooded Sam, and he felt tears in his eyes, which shocked the hell out of him. Patty’s parents had wrapped him in family love he hadn’t known existed. They’d changed his life. He’d mourned his in-laws’ loss almost as much as Patty’s some days.

  “Dad,” Sam said, then he tried to swallow the ball of emotion in his throat. When he spoke again it was about something he hadn’t even planned.

  “Joe, I’m going to win Patty back. It’s not going to be easy. But this time I’ll be the husband she deserves.”

  Joe’s long silence made Sam squirm. Surprisingly he found the man’s blessing was suddenly very important.

  “I figured that was your plan,” Joe said. “That chocolate trick made your intentions clear.”

  Sam felt victorious. Obviously the chocolate meant something or Patty wouldn’t have told her parents.

  “Just know your divorce wasn’t one-sided, Son. You two have problems–probably some you haven’t faced.

  Sam knew his father-in-law was right. But he needed to talk about the real reason he called.

  “Cadyn found a boy. A boy like me. I want to slaughter him.”

  Another pause answered Sam’s unspoken question. Yes, Joe Turner had wanted him dead way back when Patty had introduced them.

  “You can’t stop her,” Joe finally said. “You can warn her and you can threaten him, but you can’t stop Cadyn. She is her mother’s daughter.”

  Not what he wanted to hear. “So I guess sending Cadyn to live with you and Velma is out of the question?”

  Sam hadn’t meant the words, but now that they were out he thought that plan made sense.

  “Would that have stopped Patty?” Joe asked with a laugh, and then “for that matter would it have stopped you once you decided to give in to Patty and quit fighting her love?”

  Shit.

  “I called you to feel better. I think I feel worse.”

  “Sorry about that, son. Trust Cadyn, and be a parent not a friend. There’s not much more you can do.”

  Sam sighed. He’d thought getting Cadyn past her NICU days meant the hard times were over. He’d been so wrong.

  “And about you and Patty…”

  The pause told Sam he might not like what came next. He was right.

  “Like I said, you two have problems you’ve never faced. But son, you shattered her heart once already. You need to make damn sure you don’t do it again. So think long and hard before you keep pursuing her. Are you willing to do the hard work of marriage? If not, stop now.”

  When he hung up the phone Sam knew his answer. But he also knew it couldn’t be one-sided. But just like he’d told Joe, it wouldn’t be easy, but he would win Patty back.

  Chapter 9

  Over the course of the next week Patty came home to find little things done around the house. Paint retouched outside. A shutter nailed firmly back in place. Fall flowers planted in front of the house.

  She never saw Sam, but his presence was obvious. She told herself she wasn’t disappointed that he seemed to be honoring her wishes and staying away.

  When she came home after a school board meeting where she’d been drilled over low test scores one night to find Sam and Cadyn playing a game of Scrabble at their table like his presence was perfectly normal, she wanted to scream.

  Instead she put her game face on and dropped her purse on the bar next to where Cadyn had moved the vase of flowers he’d brought to the emergency family dinner. The daisies mocked her. She tried her deep bre
athing exercises, but the years of practice didn’t seem to make a difference. Her pulse was pounding, her nerves were shot from the meeting.

  She wanted a drink and a bath. But she needed to be polite.

  “Triple, triple, and a bingo. Beat that, Dad.”

  Sam’s obvious pride in their daughter nearly stole Patty’s breath. She swallowed and forced herself to speak. “Hey, you two.”

  “Mom, I am totally killing this game tonight. Oh, Dad made you dinner. It’s in the warmer.”

  Of course he did.

  “Wow. Thanks,” she said trying to mean it.

  “It’s no big deal,” Sam said jumping up and going to the kitchen. “Just some lasagna. There’s a salad in the fridge if you want.”

  Just. Some. Lasagna.

  As if he didn’t know lasagna was her favorite. As if he didn’t remember the many, many nights of passion that followed his candle light dinners of lasagna and homemade garlic bread and salad.

  He looked good. Too good in his 501s and a Dallas Stars jersey. Must be a game day. He and Cadyn loved the hockey team. But they didn’t have the game on.

  “Not watching?” she said letting him spoon her a helping of the steaming cheesy dish because what was she supposed to do? Jump up and down like a maniac saying stop being so nice to me? I don’t want to like you. I don’t want to question my actions.

  “Blacked out,” he said adding salad complete with croutons then handing her the plate. “You go sit. I’ll get you a glass of wine.”

  And that did it. She couldn’t be mad at him. She’d take tonight off. Pretend all was right in their world.

  The thought made everything better. Her nerves calmed, her breathing eased, her heart lifted.

  This.This she missed.

  She sat at the table where Cadyn was furiously tapping away on her phone.

  “Everything okay, sweetie?”

  Cadyn turned the phone upside down on the table and smiled. “Everything is perfect, Mom.”

  It must be. Because Patty insisted they not use their phones during dinner, but this wasn’t Cadyn’s dinner and separating her from her phone voluntarily was something of a miracle.

  Sam brought her the glass of cabernet and a red cloth napkin, which he’d had to go digging around in the china hutch to find because they never used cloth these days.