Three Girls And A Wedding

by Rachel Schurig

  I felt a cold trickle of fear at the thought of talking to him again.

  “He was so unpleasant,” I told her. “It made me feel like shit. I don’t know if I want to go through that again.”

  “If he was so rude to you, maybe you shouldn’t be worrying so much about him,” Annie said. “Why would you want to get all worked up about a guy who treats you bad?”

  “I just want to know what happened!” I said. “Because last night he didn’t treat me badly at all. He was…he was really nice. Much nicer than any guy I’ve ever been with, actually. I told him things, personal stuff, and he was…well, he was nice, okay?”

  “Then call him,” Ginny urged. “Come on, just say you were wondering if you did something to bother him.”

  “Okay,” I said, talking a large gulp of wine and pulling my phone and the piece of paper Matt had left in my room from my purse.

  “Be light and casual,” Ginny urged. “Act like this morning by the plane never happened.”

  “Try to convey that you couldn’t care less what he thinks,” Annie argued. “Go for that whole, ‘you are way below my radar’ tone.”

  “Girls are insane,” Josh mumbled, pouring himself the last of the wine.

  I took a deep breath and dialed. It went straight to voicemail. I listened to his voice telling me to leave a message, and felt my heart lurch. He had such a nice voice.

  “Hey, Matt,” I said brightly after the tone had sounded. “I just wanted to call and see that you got home okay. I was, uh, I was wondering about this morning by the plane, actually. I wondered if maybe I had done something to upset you? Um, I really hope not.” I could see Annie out of the corner of her eye, waving her hands energetically and mouthing “Too much!” at me. I turned my back. “Anyhow, give me a call, okay? I mean, if you want to.” I left my number. “So, uh, yeah. I hope I hear from you. Or not. That would be okay, too. Um—” The sound of a beep cut me off.

  “Smooth,” Josh said casually.

  “Oh, God,” I moaned. “That was a disaster, wasn’t it?”

  Annie diplomatically kept her mouth shut.

  “It was fine,” Ginny said. “You sounded a little nervous, but so what?”

  “Shit,” I said. “I need more wine.”

  Josh obligingly went to the kitchen. Returning with another bottle, he smiled at me. “It could have been worse,” he said.

  “Yeah, right, Josh. Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

  “No, really. It could have. Isn’t that right, Annie?” Josh looked kind of smug as he glanced at her.

  “Fuck you, Stanley,” she muttered, turning pink.

  “What happened?” I asked, as Josh refilled our glasses.

  “Nothing,” Annie said firmly. “Nothing at all.”

  Josh was chuckling lightly under his breath. Even Ginny was trying to hide a smile. This must be pretty good. I felt my spirits perk slightly.

  “Please tell me, Ann,” I said sweetly. “I promise I won’t laugh.”

  She merely shook her head.

  “Annie, please. I’m feeling so rejected. So sad. I really, really want to know what happened. Please?”

  “Fine,” she said. “Fine. This should cheer you up. You know that guy I’ve been talking about, Chris?”

  I nodded eagerly. Annie had been lusting after Chris, a barista at the coffee shop she frequented, for about three weeks now.

  “I finally got up the courage to ask him out,” she said quickly, as if hoping to get the story over with. “I was real causal, just asked him if he might like to get a drink one night. And he told me…he said—shut up, you two!” she ordered Ginny and Josh, who were both starting to laugh. “He said he couldn’t because his aunt was in town for a month and he had to show her around.”

  It was mean to laugh, really. Clearly, this was one of the worst rejections I had ever heard. But it was also kind of funny. Really funny.

  “Can you even imagine?” Annie asked after she drained her glass in one gulp. “He couldn’t even come up with a good lie! His aunt is in town? Seriously?”

  I tried not to laugh, really I did. But I just couldn’t help it. “Oh, Annie, I’m so sorry. That’s awful!”

  “Yeah, yeah,” she said, waving her hands at me. “Laugh it up, I know I would. I’m glad I could cheer you up.” She grabbed my wine glass and took another gulp. “The worst part is now I’ll have to find a new place to get coffee. I can never show my face in there again.”

  “Oh, Ginny,” Josh said suddenly, with a completely straight face. “I forgot to tell you. We have to postpone meeting with the officiant for the ceremony next week. See, my aunt is coming into town…”

  We all cracked up. Even Annie managed a slight smile. “This is gonna turn into one of those things, isn’t it?” she said. “I’m gonna hear about this for the rest of my life, aren’t I?” We could only laugh. “I hate you all,” Annie sighed.

  ***

  Matt didn’t call me back. I kind of gave up after the second day. It stung, really it did. I’d had such a good time with him. It was hard for me to really connect with people like I had with him. Outside of Ginny and Annie, my circle of friends consisted mostly of acquaintances: people whose company I enjoyed, people who were fun to hang out with, but not really anyone I could confide in.

  I was feeling pretty terrible about the whole thing until I talked to my mother Monday evening. She was eager to hear all about the trip and I tried to oblige, but the whole thing was soured for me.

  “Jennifer, what’s wrong?” she finally asked. “I feel like something must be bothering you.”

  I closed my eyes, unsure of what to tell her. I wanted badly to ask her advice about Matt, but I wondered if there was a point. She would probably be horrified that I had allowed something personal to overshadow the work I had to do.

  “If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine,” she finally said. “But would you allow me to give you some advice?”

  “Sure,” I mumbled.

  “I have a little trick I like to do when I’m feeling overwhelmed or upset. I have a list in my head of the things that are important to me. Whenever it all feels too much, I go over those things. I visualize them.” I smiled, thinking of her visualizing me and Lou and drawing comfort from our faces. “I really allow myself to see them. It usually helps to pull things into focus.”

  “That’s a good idea, Mom,” I said, already thinking of what would be on my list. Annie and Gin, certainly. Danny.

  “Think of your promotion,” she went on, and I stiffened. Of course, these were meant to be professional goals. “Think of how high you could climb in that firm. I would imagine the commission on this wedding will be pretty extensive. You could get a better car, Jen, something that makes more of a statement!”

  “You’re right, Mom,” I said, sighing.

  “I just would hate to see you get distracted at this stage, sweetie,” she said. “I know it’s tempting to let yourself worry about all those silly things girls your age get caught up in, but you’re really so much better than that. So much more driven.”

  It was just like what Jason had said about me, I thought as I ended the call with my mom. I was supposed to be a driven person, I was supposed to have focus. I was finally in a position where I might be in line for some of those things I had been working toward. A promotion. A raise. Was I really going to let Matt get in my head and distract me? When it was so clear he wanted nothing to do with me?

  I felt a slight pang as I thought of his eyes in the moment before he kissed me. The way he seemed so concerned about my pain, so sad at the sight of my tears. I thought of the way he had stayed in my room until I was in bed, tucking me in and rubbing my back. Making me feel safe and warm. When was the last time I’d had that? Someone to take care of me?

  But that was the point, wasn’t it? I shouldn’t need someone to take care of me. I could take care of myself. My mom was the perfect example. She had fallen for that old line with my dad, believing that a man could give h
er the things she needed. Look how that had turned out. It wasn’t until she had left him, until we had left him, that she figured out how to look after herself. My mother was the poster child for self-sufficiency. And she was so much happier now than she had ever been with my dad. I couldn’t let myself forget that.

  I decided right then and there that nothing, and I mean nothing, was going to distract me from doing the very best work I could possibly manage on Kiki and Eric’s wedding. Nothing was going to get in the way of my dreams coming true. I would be like my mother. I simply wouldn’t allow myself to fail.

  My iPhone rang again, distracting me from my thoughts. Jason. Fabulous.

  “Hello,” I said, not trying to keep the irritation from my voice.

  “Hello, Jen,” he said. “Listen, I wanted to apologize. I think I may have been too harsh with you at the hotel yesterday.”

  My mouth dropped open. Was he for real?

  “I was hoping you might let me make it up to you,” he continued. “Maybe with drinks tomorrow after work?”

  I was flabbergasted. This was the second time Jason had asked me out. What was his angle? He clearly didn’t like me any more than I liked him.

  Jason chuckled softly on the other end of the phone. “You still with me? Listen, I don’t have some nefarious plot here. I just want to spend some time with you. You’re an interesting person. If it makes you feel better, we can talk about work the whole time. What do you say?”

  I swallowed. Part of me was horrified at the very idea, while another part was flattered. After the rejection I had just experienced, I had to admit it was very nice to hear that someone actually wanted to spend time with me. And Jason was a successful person. Driven, like he had said. And wasn’t that my grand revelation after talking with my mom, that I needed to be more driven, more focused? Who better to help me with that than Jason?

  “Sorry,” I said, clearing my throat. “Jason, I’d love to have drinks with you. Thank you for asking.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  ‘There are few days more special in a girl’s life than the day of her wedding shower! In addition to preparing you for the home you’ll build with your husband, this should be an opportunity for you to enjoy the company of friends and family. Isn’t it wonderful to be surrounded by so much love?’—A Bride’s Guide to a Fabulous Wedding

  “Jen, this is lovely. What a nice job you’ve done,” Mrs. Barker said, putting an arm around my shoulders and giving me a slight squeeze. I was touched. I had been working very hard on the shower, and now that it was here, I had to agree with her. It was lovely.

  It was a beautiful day, not too hot for late August, with a lovely breeze rustling through the flowers in the Barkers’ extensive gardens. I couldn’t have asked for a better site for the shower. The grounds were perfectly landscaped, the flowers riotous with color this time of August. I had chosen to use Mrs. Barker’s own blossoms in the vases on the tables, and I think it added a nice touch.

  “I think most of the loveliness is due to our surroundings,” I told Mrs. Barker honestly. “Your home is so beautiful.”

  “Oh, thank you, dear,” she said, smiling as she looked around. “You know, sometimes I still find it hard to believe. Our first home was a studio apartment, did Kiki ever tell you that?”

  “No!” I said, unable to picture it.

  Mrs. Barker laughed. “It’s true. Now, granted, it was a well-decorated studio apartment. I made sure of that.”

  I laughed, knowing from talking with Kiki that Mrs. Barker had studied interior design and had, in fact, handled the interiors on her husband’s earliest real estate acquisitions, before being the wife of the David Barker had become a full time job.

  “Naturally,” I told her, and she laughed too.

  “Anyhow, I suppose I should circulate,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  “Have fun,” I told her, and she moved away.

  I walked through the garden, straightening chairs and table linens. There wasn’t much left for me to do, honestly. The place looked perfect.

  I allowed myself a moment to sit. My feet ached and my back was feeling tight. I couldn’t remember the last time I had gotten a full night’s sleep. In the month since we had been back from New York, I had completely thrown myself into my job. Jason had been very pleased with my performance, going so far as to tell Jacqueline he was impressed. High praise from him.

  We’d gone out a couple times and I was surprised to find that I enjoyed myself. He was different outside of work, less “on” all the time. He was a smart guy and had a lot of interesting things to say. There wasn’t any spark there, no real chemistry, but we got along pretty well and it was better than spending my rare work-free evenings alone.

  However, in the week leading up to the shower I’d put in so many hours I barely had time to eat, let alone go on dates. Annie and Jen expressed concern that I was overdoing it, but I knew they just didn’t get it. This wedding—every single aspect—was going to be perfect if it killed me.

  I felt a slight twinge thinking about Annie. She and I weren’t on the best of terms.

  In fact, we’d had a pretty big fight the day before. She was irritated with me because I was skipping the meeting with the graphic designer Josh had found to do invitations. I didn’t understand what the big deal was. This person was a co-worker of Josh’s, not someone I had found. What on earth did they need me there for?

  “It’s more than just this meeting, and you know it,” she had said flatly. “You’re putting all your attention on the Barker wedding and I don’t think it’s very fair.”

  That had really pissed me off. Didn’t she see how hard I was trying? I said some things to her that, in retrospect, weren’t very nice. It wasn’t like Annie and me to fight—she often bickered good-naturedly with Ginny, part of their having been friends since the age of five—but she and I usually were fairly even-keeled with each other.

  I sighed. I would make it up to her the next day. The three of us, along with Josh, were going to register at a few stores. Honestly, this is something we should have done weeks ago—Ginny’s shower was fast approaching—but I simply hadn’t had the time before now.

  Just keep everything going until the Barker wedding is over, I told myself for the millionth time. It had kind of turned into a mantra for me. Of course, there were things that had to be done for Ginny’s wedding before then, but a lot of it—the centerpieces, the seating chart, the favors—could be done the week before the 30th. That one beautiful week between the end of Kiki’s wedding and the start of Ginny’s. If I could just get to that point, it would all be fine.

  And when Ginny and Annie saw how lovely everything I had planned would turn out, they would forget their irritation. I hoped.

  I looked up and saw Kiki emerging from the house. She looked gorgeous. She and I had spent hours shopping for the perfect dress for today. She wanted it to be inspired by her wedding dress without giving the look of it away. But it was worth it in the end: she looked perfect in her cream colored, empire-waist sundress. Annie had been the only one to go with Ginny to pick out her shower dress, because I had been at a cake tasting with Kiki. I felt a pang but pushed it down.

  Tomorrow, I thought, standing up to get the shower under way. I’ll fix it all tomorrow.

  Kiki’s shower went off without a hitch. The weather remained perfect, the food was delicious, the games silly and fun. Bella was probably the only one who didn’t have a good time, but I refused to let that bother me; that was a battle I just couldn’t win.

  Eric arrived at exactly the right moment to help Kiki open presents. His charming nature and self-deprecating humor as Kiki oohed and ahhed over every gift won over all the ladies.

  I was feeling pretty good as I helped oversee the clean-up crew. Kiki and Mrs. Barker were happy, everything had gone beautifully, and I had a whole day off to spend with the girls.

  Then Matt showed up.

  As soon as I saw him step out through the French doors onto the patio,
I dropped the glass I was holding. Luckily I was out on the grass and it didn’t break, but still. Real smooth.

  I probably wouldn’t have felt such a reaction if I had been expecting him, but I wasn’t. I was completely unprepared to see him. I hadn’t laid eyes on him since we got off the plane and, as he had never returned my message, I hadn’t even talked to him in nearly a month.

  I had been hoping that by throwing myself into my work, I would be able to forget about him, get over him. I had even thought seeing Jason might help. And in fact, I had nearly forgotten just how gorgeous he was, how tall and broad, how dark his eyes were. Maybe I was over it. But nope, there he was in front of me and I felt every bit of that same attraction deep in my stomach.

  Perhaps I was in the clear though. He didn’t seem to have seen me; instead, he was talking to Kiki and Eric. If I just made myself really busy he might completely ignore me. I saw him and Eric head over to the massive pile of gifts (seriously, did these people not realize how loaded Kiki was?). It looked like they were debating the best way to get them out to the car. I took a relieved breath.

  “Jen!” Kiki called loudly. “Jen, look! Matt’s here!”

  I groaned. So much for avoiding him. I looked up to wave, hoping I could get away with just that, but saw that Matt was already making his way toward me. Alone. I felt my heart rate begin to increase.

  “Hey, Jen,” he said, stopping a few feet away from me and putting his hands in his pockets. He looked awkward.

  “Hi, how are you?” I tried to keep my voice light, casual. Don’t think about kissing him, I ordered myself. Don’t think about how his hand felt on your face.

  “I’m good, you?”

  “Pretty good,” I replied. Oh God, could this be any more awkward?

  “Look, I owe you an apology,” he said quickly, not meeting my eyes. “I was really rude to you and it wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about it,” I said, trying to laugh lightly. I’m not sure I pulled it off. “Ancient history.”