Picture Perfect

by Hayden Hunt

  “Mom, you’ve got this all wrong. You’re totally misunderstanding me. It wasn’t Rich who proposed! It was me. He’s not trying to trap me, and, obviously, I’m not trying to trap him.”

  “You proposed?” she questioned.

  Again, I was naive enough to believe this would be the turning point in our conversation.

  “Yes! I proposed! I’m the one who asked him. So, you see—”

  “How could you do this?!” she snapped. “I thought I taught you better.”

  “Taught me better than to… propose?” I asked.

  “Yes! How many times have I told you relationships don’t work? How many times have I warned you not to fall into this?”

  “Uh, yeah, I know. I know you think I can end up getting hurt, but Rich really cares about me, Mom. It’s not going to be like that for us. He loves me, and I love him and—”

  “Just like I loved your father?! Well, it turns out he didn’t love me back, Patrick! It was all a lie! Just like this. You’ll be as unhappy as me one day, you wait and see! And don’t come crawling back to me when that happens.”

  The way she said it, you’d think that’s what she actually wanted. For me to be as unhappy as she was.

  “Is that… would you like that?” I asked.

  “What?” she asked, now it was her turn to be confused.

  “Is that all you ever wanted? Is it why you pushed me away from Rich to begin with? Do you just hope for me to be unhappy? Because that’s what it fucking feelings like.”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Mom?” I asked again.

  “What the hell do you want me to say to that?” she snapped.

  “I… I want you to tell me the fucking truth! Is that what you want? Do you want me to be unhappy?!”

  “Imagine being me!” she cried. “Imagine getting old, having your husband leave you, then watching your child grow up and surpass you.”

  I was shocked. I thought for sure she would tell me I was wrong, that it was all in my head. But this sounded like she was actually admitting it.

  “Is that a yes?! You don’t want me to be happier than you because… why? My life would be better than yours?”

  “Your kids aren’t supposed to be doing better than you. I’m miserable here! My marriage is over, and, here you are, wanting to start one?!”

  I knew she was selfish, but this?! This was crossing a fucking line.

  “I… I can’t believe you.”

  “You'd feel the same damn way if your life was falling apart, and your child was doing so well.”

  “No!” I argued. “No, I definitely wouldn’t! I’d be on my child’s side! I’d do anything I could to make sure they were happy. I’d be thrilled if they surpassed me! Normal parents root for their children’s success!”

  “Oh, so now I’m not a normal parent?” she said, trying to turn the guilt around on me.

  I knew when she started devolving into these loaded questions that she was on the verge of having a meltdown. So, I normally danced around these questions carefully. But not today, today she was going to hear how I fucking felt for once.

  “Yes! You’re not a normal parent! You are selfish beyond all belief! This isn’t how parents normally act. People usually put their kids first.”

  “Oh, I guess I’m just a shitty parent, then, too!”

  “Yes! You fucking are,” I finally snapped. “This was a great fucking day for me, Mom. Maybe the best one of my life. And you’re ruining that for me!”

  She scoffed. “Don’t worry, you’ll realize eventually that this isn’t the best day of your life. Once your marriage is falling to pieces and you’re getting a divorce, you’ll see that this was a day just like any other.”

  “That’s not going to happen to me. We are not going to be like you and Dad. And you know why?! Because Rich andI actually love each other. Because I’m not fucking crazy like you, and I am not going to drive him to hate me because I can’t stop torturing him.”

  “You think that now! You wait, just fucking wait.”

  “Oh, go on, Mom,” I said angrily. “Keep on wishing for the demise of your son’s relationship. That’s really fucking mature.”

  “I can’t help it. It’s going to happen, and I know it.”

  “No. That’s just what you tell yourself to make yourself feel better about the fact that I’m doing fine. Better than fine! I am fantastic.”

  “Well, hope it stays that way,” she said sarcastically.

  “You know what? All these years, despite the awful, horrible shit you’ve done to me, I’ve managed to convince myself that you’re still a decent mother. That you still love me and you deserve love in return. I’ve made excuses for you in my head. And I’ve looked for the good where there wasn’t any. Like when you told me my relationship with Rich was going to fail the first time. I told myself that you were only saying that because you wanted to protect me. Because you actually cared like a real mother would. I wanted to love you, I wanted to believe in you, because you’re my mother. But I see you for what you really are now. Nothing more than a selfish, bitter person who would bring me down if she could.”

  She paused. I expected her to flip out at me. To start screaming or crying into the phone, but she didn’t. She was silent for a moment, and, then, when she did respond, it was in an overly calm voice.

  “I am not coming to your wedding.”

  I knew why she wasn't freaking out. She was being manipulative. She was thinking of what would hurt me most. She thought this would be painful for me.

  And, honestly, it was. But I wasn’t going to let her know that.

  “I don’t fucking want you there. You mean nothing to me.”

  “Yes, you do. And no, I don’t. You can lie to yourself all you want, but you can’t lie to your mother. I know how you really feel. I bore you from my body. I know you better than anyone.”

  Then she hung up.

  And I burst into tears.

  11

  Rich

  I felt so bad for Patrick. He’d been completely depressed for days, and there was basically nothing I could do to make it better.

  God, I could not stand his mother. I cannot believe she’d do this to him. Just to hurt him, just so she could have some company in her misery. It was incredibly unfair.

  I vowed to never be a parent like her, though I already knew I never would be. I was going to love my kids, encourage their free will, and hope that they find more success in life than I do. I will never be jealous of them. It doesn’t even make any sense.

  But, that’s the thing, his mother doesn’t make sense. She’s a selfish narcissist, and they often don’t make sense. I can’t view her like I would a normal person. She obviously isn’t mentally stable at all.

  All I could do was try to be there for Pat the best I could. But it sucks, this should be the happiest time in our lives, and, instead, Pat was completely depressed.

  The day we got engaged, I suggested to him, after he had calmed down a bit from the phone call with his mom, that he call his dad to make himself feel better. I knew that he’d be excited, and I thought maybe one of his parents being supportive would have been helpful to him.

  But, it seemed to help only minimally. At the end of the day, he was still heartbroken.

  He was doing nothing but lying in bed and watching television. He’d eat with me, we’d talk about our days, but he was clearly still very unhappy.

  I wanted to bring up our wedding, but I’d been avoiding it for a few days. Right now, I knew he didn’t want to think about it. But, I felt like I couldn’t avoid it much longer. It would hurt more than it would help. I couldn’t continue to let him stew in this. He’d end up completely fucking depressed.

  “Hey, babe,” I came into the bedroom where he was lying down around noon. “What do you want for lunch?”

  He shrugged, “Nothing right now.” His eyes were red, and I could tell he had been crying very recently.

  “Nothing? Really? Are you sure? Yo
u should eat, babe.”

  He wasn’t starving himself or anything, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that his appetite had clearly gone way down.

  “No, it’s fine. Maybe later.”

  I crawled under the covers with him and pulled him close to me. He rested his head on my chest.

  “Babe, you can’t keep doing this. We’ve got to move forward. Don’t let your mom have this much power over you.”

  He teared up, “I don’t understand how she could do this to me, though. How could she not want to see my on my wedding day? I thought… I knew she was awful in a lot of ways, but I still thought she loved me.”

  “I know,” I rubbed his shoulder. “And, in her own weird way, she does. But, you know she doesn’t have the mental stability to truly love selflessly. That’s what kind of person she is.”

  He nodded, “Yeah.”

  “It’s going to be okay, babe,” I assured him.

  “Is it, though? Do you know how humiliating it’s going to feel to have a wedding and have to explain why my mom isn’t even coming?”

  “Maybe she’ll change her mind,” I tried to comfort him. “You never know, she’s pretty wishy-washy, right?”

  “Not on this. She won’t change her mind. I know she won’t. This is different. This is something she’s doing to punish me. She can hold a grudge, trust me. I saw her give this kind of treatment to my dad, and she never backed down. I just never thought that one day she’d be giving this treatment to me, too.”

  I kissed his forehead, “At least your dad will be there, right? And your extended family, of course?”

  ”Yeah, exactly, all my extended family will come and be wondering why my mom isn’t there. And people will ask me about it and… Fuck. I hate this. I should be excited about our wedding right now, and, instead, I’m dreading it. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

  “Babe…” I rubbed his back.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I’m turning the happiest moment of our lives into a pity part for myself.”

  “Hey! You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Are you kidding? This is literally what marriage is all about.”

  He looked up at me skeptically, “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, relationships aren’t all chocolates and roses and romantic days. It’s about helping each other through the hard stuff. You're having a hard time, and I’m going to be there for you, of course. I have no problem doing anything I can to cheer you up. I only wish there was more I could do.”

  He sighed, “You’re doing everything right. It’s just hard to feel happy right now… I don’t know how I’m going to get through our wedding without being uncomfortable.”

  Suddenly, a thought came to me.

  “So, let’s not have a wedding?”

  “What?!” he gasped. “You don’t want to get married now? But babe—”

  “No, no! You’re misunderstanding me completely! Yes, I absolutely want to get married. But you don’t need a wedding for that.”

  Again, he looked at me suspiciously, “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, baby, it’s our wedding. And we can do whatever the hell we want to. If you want to get married in a big wedding ceremony, okay, I will totally do that. But if you don’t, and, you’d rather elope and have nobody around but just us, then I’ll be happy with that, too. We can do it literally however you want. Whatever will make you happy.”

  “Seriously?” he asked. “You have no preference?”

  “Not at all. As long as I end up married to you at the end of the day, I’m happy.”

  “Well… if we eloped, when would we do it?”

  “Whenever you wanted!” I smiled. “You want to get married years from now? I’m fine with that. Want to be married by the end of the week? I’m fine with that, too.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, like could be married by the end of the week.”

  “We could be,” I told him. “If we eloped, I mean. We could book a flight to Vegas right now. Have our wedding and our honeymoon all in the same place, in the same week. And come home married men.”

  His eyes widened, “Wait, you’re serious?!”

  “Why not?!” I smiled.

  “Uh, well, for one, you have work. Work for two jobs, I might add.”

  This was true. My scheduled was pretty tight these days. I was at a point where I was getting paid for my photo work, but it wasn’t enough to maintain my lifestyle. So I wasn’t yet ready to quit electrical work, though I hoped to be able to in a few years.

  “I’ll call out,” I shrugged. “I’ll say I was sick. Well, I’ll tell the electric company I’m sick. I won’t be able to fool any of the photographers, since James photographed our engagement. But, I don’t think they’ll care, we don’t even have any big projects this week. If anything, they’ll probably be excited for me.”

  “Oh my god, you’re serious! You’re so fucking serious!”

  I could tell, he was excited about the idea. It was the first time I’d seen him smile since his phone call with his mom. And I was thrilled to see it. If this made him happy, I absolutely meant every word.

  Actually, even if it isn’t what made him happy, I think this would be what I preferred. I know I said no preference, but I can’t really see myself at a big wedding. I’m not that outgoing of a guy. I don’t think I want all that attention on me.

  All I really wanted was to be married to Pat. And if we could do that in private, with just us around, that would absolutely be the most ideal situation for me.

  “What do you say, baby?” I asked. “You want to be married by the end of the week?”

  “Yes!” he screeched. “Yes, okay, let’s fucking do this!”

  Right after we decided this was something we actually wanted to do, we got to work making it happen.

  First, I called out of both my jobs, and Patrick did the same. We’d have to miss some classes, too, but that would be no big deal. We’re both great students and would be able to catch up pretty quickly.

  Pat started packing a bunch of our things, and I went online to get plane tickets. We were able to get a flight out that night, luckily. I also booked a hotel room on the strip with a wedding chapel near by.

  Patrick also called his father to let him know what was happening. He didn’t want him to think he was left out of the loop. He told him everything. The way his mom had talked to him, the reason he was embarrassed to do a big wedding now, and his Dad was very kind and understanding, as he usually was.

  I was glad that Pat at least had one decent parent. He’d be extra heartbroken if both his parents were constantly acting like assholes to him.

  When I had finished with our tickets and itinerary, I went ahead and helped Pat pack.

  “We have no tuxes!” he said suddenly. “We’ve got nothing to wear on such short notice.”

  I waved it off. “Babe, we can rent tuxes. It’s Vegas. Hell, we could get married in our boxers if we wanted to, I’m sure.”

  “Well… let’s not.” he said. “It may be an elopement, but I still want us to look nice.”

  Suddenly, his eyes bulged out of his head, as if he had remembered something horrible.

  “What?” I asked. “What is it?”

  “A photographer! Babe, I want pictures of us!”

  “We’ll hire a photographer, honey. Again, it’s Vegas, I’m sure there will be a photographer available at some point during the week we’re there. Don’t stress, whatever you want, I’ll make sure you get it. In fact, I’ll look up photographers right now.”

  This calmed him down. Sure enough, I found a photographer who actually had a website with all available appointments. You could literally book an hour with any of his available time slots without even speaking to him. Which was convenient… only in Vegas, I swear. The photography competition must be fierce there.

  “Babe, what do you think of this guy?” I asked him.

  He looked over his website. “Oh, these are actually really nice,” he nodded.

  �
��You want me to book him?”

  “Yep! What day are we getting married, exactly?”

  “Hold on, let me look at his schedule,” I told him, as I scrolled through the available appointments. “How about tomorrow? He has some openings?”

  His eyes widened. “Tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, why not? We’ll get married the first day we’re there, and, the rest of the week, we’ll officially enjoy our honey moon.”

  He grinned at me, “All right, book the man. You sure you’re ready for all this?” he asked.

  “Baby, I’ve never been more ready in my life.”

  12

  Patrick

  We got a cab to the airport, and it wasn’t until we arrived that I started to get nervous.

  Not my usual nervous, though! Not the kind of nervous where I was scared of commitment and didn’t want to get married this fast.

  On the contrary, I couldn’t be surer of my marriage to Rich. Nothing my mom said now could change my mind about him. She might be able to make me feel like shit, but she can’t change my feelings or make me doubt my relationship.

  No, those kind of nerves weren't the problem. Instead, I was growing fearful about Rich’s feelings.

  I didn’t doubt that he wanted to marry me, either. In fact, I was sure that he did. What I wasn’t sure of was how exactly he wanted to marry me. Was this quick elopement what he really wanted? Or was this something I had now pressured him into just because I didn’t want a wedding?

  That's the one downfall of being with someone as selfless as Rich, I can never be sure of what he really wants because I doubt that he’ll tell me the truth. I think he’ll do anything he can to please me.

  And I don’t want that all the time. Yes, it’s nice to have someone around who loves you so deeply they’ll do anything for you. But, I also want to be able to do things for him. I want to make sure he’s happy. I don’t want this relationship to be one-sided.

  He did seem thrilled to be going to Vegas, but he might just be happy that I’m finally out of bed and no longer mopey. God, I really hope my attitude didn’t drive him to this. I’d feel so horrible if that was the case.