“How dare you threaten my life! I’ll report you—I’ll have Lep Wepizi arrest you for saying such a thing!”
“You’re welcome to try. Now are you going to give me those notes or not?”
Soza folded his arms. “Over my dead body.”
“Suits me. If you decide to grace us with your presence over the next few days, I might bother to tell you when we’re departing. Keep away from Karik until we do and that’s a direct order. Disobey, and you’ll be on a boat back to Tsikiugui faster than you can blink.”
“You exceed your authority, lieutenant. Mark my words, people will hear about this.”
“I look forward to it. Now run along,” he said, making a shooing gesture which he knew perfectly well would infuriate the man, and relishing the squawk of fury he got. He wasn’t foolish enough to turn his back on Soza—he really didn’t trust him to have the brains to follow his order—and waited until Soza flounced back into the library.
Karik still had his eyes closed when Romi approached, deliberately noisily to give a warning, but he still started a little. He frowned at Romi’s empty hands. “Wuh-where’s the n-notes?”
“Ah, he said he’s still working on them and that there’s nothing pressing he needs you to look over.”
“You’re l-lying. He’s ah-angry.”
“Well, a little—he wanted to come and see you, and I wouldn’t let him.”
Karik sat up straight. “You were r-rude?”
“Yes, I was,” Romi admitted. “But so was he.”
“Wuh-why do you b-bait him?”
“There’s no way I can answer that question without making you angry. You told me you didn’t like people insulting your friends.”
Karik shot him a hard look. “Y-You both sh-should grow up.”
Romi was surprised that Soza was included in that statement, but didn’t care to be lumped in with him. “It’s not me who can’t remember the ranks of the soldiers I’m working with,” he pointed out, but kept his tone mild. “Soza’s never shown me an ounce of civility, and if I wanted to endure that kind of abuse from people I don’t like, I’d get a post in the Utuk embassy. I’m prepared to go to a lot of trouble for my people, but putting up with that kind of thing isn’t my job.” Karik looked at the ground, his cheeks pinking up. “Do we have to argue about this again?” He was so tired of the conflict Soza was causing in his team, and with this man who he could learn to like well enough, if it weren’t for his pissing lover.
“I wuh-won’t let you c-criticise him to me.”
“I understand. At the same time, you have to accept that he makes my job difficult, and sometimes I have to make decisions based on the fact that he does do that. I won’t lie to you just to make you happy. But I promise that unless it’s to do with the team or the mission, I won’t talk about it.”
Karik nodded. “All r-right.”
“Do you feel up to walking back? I’m in no hurry.”
But Karik was already getting to his feet, though he still looked a little pale. Romi fell into step beside him, and made sure they moved quickly through the crowds on the way back to the barracks, unobtrusively keeping an eye out for anyone doing anything which might startle Karik. He might have to rethink the way they approached a settlement if Karik continued to be this skittish—it wasn’t unusual for tribal people to grab and tug at him, though only out of harmless curiosity.
He didn’t miss the look of relief on Karik’s face once they got past the guard post, and that strengthened his determination that Karik and Soza’s status had to change. “Do you have a minute?” he asked, as Karik seemed to be heading straight back to the library.
“Wuh-what?”
“Something Soza said made it clear that we can’t go on as we have.” Karik looked puzzled, but waited for him to explain. Romi thought there was no point in dancing around the subject. “I’ve made a bad mistake in keeping you civilians separate. It’s caused trouble on the team and contributed to you getting hurt, and it’s got to stop. From now on, I don’t want to distinguish between you and my soldiers, not in the orders I make, the duties you undertake, or the protection I offer you,” he added, hoping Karik would understand this wasn’t just a one-way thing. “I expect him to fight me on this, but I’m asking for your support. You two can say what you want about me when you get home, but right now, I just want us all to get home, and the only way to do that is to be one team, one unit, with one leader. That’s me, whatever you think of me. A cart can’t have two drivers and you can’t drive a cart when your beasts are pulling in two directions either.”
Karik took his time considering his words. Romi didn’t push. Soza’s agreement would only come if Karik’s did—Romi had to hope his estimate of Karik’s intelligence was correct.
Finally, Karik turned a not terribly friendly face towards him. “V-very well.”
“And you accept that this means not disobeying my orders, and not arguing with them once I say the decision is final? That you keep your complaints to yourself and for your report?”
“Y-Yes. But Soza w-won’t agree.”
“I know. But if everyone but him accepts it—if you do—I think we can bring him into line. I don’t ask this lightly, and I don’t mean to use your situation to put pressure on you. I’ll do everything I can to justify your agreeing to this.”
“You b-better.”
“I know. Thank you. I won’t abuse your trust.”
That got him the most baleful of looks. “I don’t tr-trust you. I a-accept the n-necessity. Th-that’s all.”
“Then I still thank you, and perhaps one day you’ll judge me worthy of your confidence.”
“Doubt it,” Karik snapped and walked off. Romi sighed, regretting he’d won the agreement at the price of upsetting the man. Damn that Soza—he’d done so much harm to the team. Sibu’s suggestion was looking better and better with each passing hour.
Staying Power: 22
Knowing they were shortly to leave the safety of the barracks, and humiliated by his failure at the academy, Karik forced himself to act as normally as he could. He consciously spent time with the other soldiers, and used conversations with them to surreptitiously practice the exercises he’d used years before to overcome his stammer, to achieve the same result again. Within two days, he’d got back most of his control, and it was only if he was tired, or startled, that it became very bad.
It was still easy to startle him—too easy, though his teammates were as considerate as they could be, given they didn’t know the whole story. He decided the only way was to get back in the saddle as fast as he could. He made himself go back to the steam room, despite Netu and Romi’s looks of concern, and concentrated on Wepizi’s humorous stories to distract him from so many people being so close to him, and from his irrational thoughts that they could tell he’d been raped just by looking at him. It was easier than he feared it might be, but he still shook like a leaf when he got back to the sleeping quarters, and had to sit on the verandah to calm down.
After a few minutes, Netu joined him, sitting down companionably next to him. “Well done, Karik,” he said quietly. “I didn’t think you’d do that before we left.”
“Everyone thinks I’m p-pathetic.”
“Really? I don’t know anyone who does. How are you feeling? Any side effects from the gerot? Such an evil drug. Dangerous.”
Karik shrugged. “Lots of drugs are d-dangerous. Nitre weed is, but we need it. M-Maybe gerot has another use.”
“Maybe, but I don’t like it. It’s like nerf leaf—too easy to abuse, too hard to control access to. The difference between safe and fatal dosage is very small, Vyoti tells me. Ah...are you healed completely now?”
Never had so many well-meaning questions been asked about his bottom. “Yes, I’m fine.”
“Good, good—I wasn’t looking forward to having to deal with another backside—Reisa’s is enough.”
Karik grinned, the earthy medical humour reminding him of his Ma and helping to fend off
the last of the shakes. He was very lucky to have Netu on the team, and to have his personal interest in his welfare. Something else to thank lieutenant ar.... No, he didn’t really think of Romi that way any more, even though he could still be an arse. Captain arse, maybe.
They spoke briefly about the medical supplies they were taking with them, then Netu stood. “I better go back in. I want to catch all the sleep I can before we start keeping watch again.” He laid a hand on Karik’s shoulder, carefully so not to startle him. “I really don’t think anyone could see you as pathetic. You’re doing well.”
“Thanks, Netu. Good night.”
He waved the healer off, but he wasn’t ready to go back in himself. He wanted a little time to think about things. As always, his thoughts led to the same place, wondering if he could remember the attack, whether he would be reacting to things so strongly. He’d been talking to Wepizi about it that afternoon, and Wepizi thought it might be possible. But he’d also thought that somewhere in Karik’s mind, he did remember, which was making him react the way he was. Wepizi meant well, but his comments had reawoken the gnawing on Karik’s consciousness that he had been fighting down. For days he’d obsessed about not being able to remember and trying to force himself to recall—and just when he’d decided he really wasn’t even going to, Wepizi made him think that if he just tried hard enough, he would.
He leaned against the post, wishing he had someone familiar to talk to—Kei, Arman, his parents...Gyo or even Misek. Now, Misek was good at laying things out in a sensible way. He’d come close to being killed in a kiln explosion when he was twenty-one—the same explosion which had killed his uncle, Banji’s Pa. He said it had made him realise that no one lives forever and that you had to enjoy life to the full while you had it. Karik could hear him now, saying that worrying about something Karik couldn’t help was just using energy he could use for something more enjoyable. Misek was one of the most contented and wise people Karik knew. He missed him—he missed them all so much.
He heard a throat being cleared, and turned sharply. It was only Romi, learning on the doorpost. “Ah, didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted some fresh air—didn’t realise you were out here. Do you mind?”
“Go ahead.”
Romi sat down next to him. He was chewing on a tooth stick, and looked relaxed. “So, ready to move out?”
“As much as I c-can be.”
“Good. Jou was asking me about the watch rota—she heard I was putting the two of you on it, and she asked if she could share the watch with you.”
“Jou? Why?”
“She said she wanted to pick your brains, and besides she likes you. I would have agreed immediately, only...I thought you might prefer to do the watch with Soza.”
“If you’re t-trying to bring us into the team, then why keep us together all the time?”
Romi frowned, but then to Karik’s surprise, his expression cleared. “You know, that was my own argument but I was sure you’d object. But you have to back me up when I tell him.”
“You f-fight your own battles, captain. I h-handed over the job of wrangling Soza when I agreed to this.”
That made Romi laugh ruefully. “Fair enough, you got me there. Just warning you about the arguments, that’s all.”
“Very well. G-Good night.”
Karik sighed as he went back inside. He really wasn’t looking forward to the next few days.
~~~~~~~~
The second part of the expedition started off auspiciously—the weather was fine, everyone was in a good temper and the beasts were eager to set out on the trail again, pawing at the ground and roaring with excessive spirits. They had all assembled at dawn—Soza appeared on time as requested by Wepizi, and though he was slightly cool to Karik, he was polite enough to everyone. Romi, thankfully, kept his distance, and let Wepizi introduce Kizinke to Soza. Karik had met the guide the day before, and hadn’t been as immediately impressed by him as he had been by Feive and Gizwei, though his credentials were excellent, and most importantly—at least to Soza—spoke passable Darshianese.
Kizinke had heard of Soza, it seemed. “My brother, at court, has read your monograph on the resinous timbers of the lowlands,” he said with a slight bow. “He tells me it was most useful in planning the construction of a new outpost.”
“My word, how flattering,” Soza said, puffing his chest out with pride. “Of course, I write for the more intelligent audience, and often my work is unappreciated by the uneducated. Your brother is clearly a man of some wit.”
Karik rolled his eyes at the unsubtle dig at the team, and the equally unsubtle flattery. Romi was just as unimpressed. “Well, friend Soza, if you find us so unworthy, how about you ride up with Kizinke today. I’m sure he wants to hear all your opinions in great detail.” There was an unseemly titter from Sibu and Jou which made Soza scowl. “Right, everyone, mount up. Move out.”
Karik found it something of a relief that Soza had so instantly hit it off with Kizinke—the first sight of his friend that morning had made his gut clench strangely, and since he could hardly have excused himself without causing offence, he was glad Romi had taken the choice away from them both. Soza was so quick to see slights these days, and Karik really didn’t feel strong enough for a quarrel.
The first day was quiet—there was little vegetation to be seen on the bare rocks, though just the views of the enormous peaks, and the volcano to the northeast, belching steam and ash continuously, were enough to make the journey worthwhile, and certainly distracted Karik from any gloomy thoughts. They climbed until noon, then began to descend through sparse forest. Sparse because it had long been exploited, but Kizinke assured them they would see near-virgin woods within days. “And then we will need to beware of tewis,” he announced.
Though they had all been drilled on the correct way of dealing with the large and ferocious carnivores—which was to say, they would not deal with them and do everything they could to make sure tewis stayed well away from them and the camp—Karik felt a disobedient urge to seek one out. He’d only seen tewis in captivity—either fat, lazy cage-bred animals, or neurotic youngsters, torn from their dead mothers. He had always wanted to see a truly wild one, but he acknowledged it might easily be the last thing he did. They were rare in these parts, Kizinke said—more common the further north they went, both because of fewer people hunting them and because they preferred the deep snow forests of the north. There would be other large animals to see, Karik had been promised, though thankfully these were mostly herbivores. Doigs were rare except in the settlements, and in the mountains, were replaced by hiqwiqs, a relative of the jombeker, a creature with long, fierce horns and a shaggy pelt much prized for its wool. Already they had seen a couple, picking their way along what seemed impossible ledges high above them.
He hadn’t spoken to Soza much that day—Soza had stayed with Kizinke near the front of the group, while Karik had taken up the rear, riding alongside Netu and talking to him about the studies he was now very keen to undertake at the academy. Netu reminded Karik of his beloved uncle Kei, and his empathic, non-judgmental view on life had a way of helping Karik sort things out and see them more clearly. He wavered between thinking the man was wasted in the army, and knowing that with the difficult tasks the army carried out, someone like Netu brought a necessary humanity to the job. He knew his own prejudices about the military influenced his opinion on the matter, though those prejudices were challenged and weakened by the day.
He’d had such a blessedly calm and enjoyable day, talking to Netu, just relishing the freedom of being out of the city, that he’d quite forgotten about the new status the civilians had in the group until they made camp near an overhanging rock, an hour and a half before sunset. As was his habit, Karik pitched in with the tent raising. Being distracted by that, he paid no attention to what Soza was doing, until he heard an angry voice being raised. “What do you mean, ‘help with the camp making’, lieutenant?”
He turned and saw Soza glaring furi
ously at Romi, whose reply was inaudible. Karik glanced at Netu, who shrugged. “You better go and help sort that out,” he said.
Karik sighed. “Yes, I know.” It was all very well to say it was Romi’s problem but Soza would make it Karik’s any moment now, so he might as well try and choke off as much unpleasantness as he could. He couldn’t muster much enthusiasm for the task, that was all.
He walked over to hear Romi, quite politely—at least for Romi—explain that from now on the civilians would share duties like everyone else, but that the soldiers would continue to carry out the bulk of the routine chores. Soza folded his arms. “I am not on this expedition to collect firewood or raise tents, lieutenant, and neither is Karik.” He noticed Karik nearby. “Have you heard about this nonsense? The lieutenant is once again displaying his manifest unfitness for his job.”
Maybe it was because Soza still stirred strange emotions in him, maybe it was because the man’s voice reverberated across the valley in a way that polluted the beauty that surrounded them, or maybe it was because Karik had actually no sympathy at all with his position—whatever the reason, he simply lost any desire to answer in a diplomatic manner. “R-Romi is a captain, Soza, and will be until he’s stood down at the end of this expedition, so s-stop calling him lieutenant. As f-for collecting firewood or raising a tent, my Ma always said a man too good to help prepare a meal is too good to eat it. If you won’t help r-raise the tent, then sleep outside. And if you don’t like the way the expedition has been organised, get on your beast and r-ride back.”
Soza gaped at him. While he was still speechless with shock, Karik decided to beat a retreat, feeling rather like a man who had set fire to his house before he’d built the new one. He realised he’d unconsciously adopted the exact tone of voice Arman did when dressing down an incompetent workman, and grinned as he thought what his uncle would have thought of such a display. There, Romi, he thought. I’ve done my bit. Now you handle the rest of it.
Staying Power (Darshian Tales #3) Page 29