Karik’s emotions were tangled, now their goal of getting home was suddenly almost in their reach. He could almost taste the joy his parents would feel when they knew he was alive and well, and they wouldn’t be the only ones. The idea of seeing Kei and Arman and Seiki and Jes again made him almost cry every time he thought of it. But there was Romi....
But as Kepi had said, family and friends were the things that made life endurable. Being with Romi—even if that were an option—meant giving them up, and his career, and all he’d worked for. He just wished his stupid emotions would catch up with his rational brain and realise this just had to be left alone.
They all had individual bunks, for the first time in...gods, the ship to Andon was probably the last time, he realised. It felt very strange to not have Romi hard up against him, and probably contributed to the lousy night’s sleep he’d got, for all that the bunk was comfortable and the quarters warm and well-appointed. They were roused, bleary-eyed, at dawn, and given breakfast, then driven down to the docks to board the ship. It was only a small coastal vessel, nothing like the big ocean-going boat on which they had travelled to this land, and the accommodation was on the cramped side. The captain apologised—his was not one that normally took many passengers, though the army used it as it needed to. “But my boat is fast, and the route a safe one,” he promised. “We will be in Tsikiugui port within four days.”
Romi thanked him and then they were left in the small, rather bare cabin. “Hammocks,” Kepi said mournfully. “I hate hammocks.”
“Never mind,” Romi said cheerfully. “It’s only at night. We’ve put up with far worse.”
“Yes, but I’m just tired of moving. I want to get home.”
“Soon, soldier,” Romi said quietly. “At least in Tsikiugui, we’ll get news of the others.”
“Yes, and we can finally do something about that slimy bastard,” Taz said. It was possible Taz hated Soza and Kizinke more than even Karik did.
It was a smooth, if rather dull journey, and its sole virtue that it was relatively brief. Karik found the hammocks a little hard to get used to, but it was only for three nights. The rest of the time, they stayed in the cabin, since it was too cold to go on deck and there was very little reason to do so except to get the occasional breath of fresh, freezing air. There wasn’t much to do except sleep or talk, or for Romi and Karik to go over their reports.
The lookout announced Tsikiugui coming into view mid-morning on the fourth day, and by then, stir-crazy and bored out of his mind, Karik couldn’t resist coming up to the rails to watch the ship eat the remaining miles. The wind was bitterly cold, the sea leaden under dark, cloudy skies—just like the first time he’d come to Tsikiugui.
“And in a few days, with any luck, we get to do this all over again.”
He turned and scowled at the captain who was walking across the deck to join him. “You really shouldn’t be out in this cold.”
Romi gave him an exasperated look. “I’m fine. Good grief, can’t you see how much better I am?”
“Maybe so, but it’s an unnecessary strain. We’ll be in Tsikiugui in an hour or so. Why can’t you wait?”
“Why can’t you?” Romi retorted.
“Because I’ll go insane if I have to spend another moment in that cabin,” Karik admitted.
“There you go. Kepi and Taz are just packing and having a wash—they’ll be up here soon.”
“Do you think Wepizi will be there?”
Romi scratched his chin, and then pulled his coat closer around him. “I hope so. He’s based here, but he does go out on patrols and so forth—they cover an enormous territory from Tsikiugui barracks. But if he’s not, we’ll get word of Jou and the others, I’m sure.”
“And...Kizinke?”
“Now him, you leave to me and Wepizi. Same as Soza.” Romi came closer and leaned on the rail. “It’s a legal matter now.”
“Romi, I can’t.... I can’t give evidence....”
Romi patted his hand. “Don’t worry about it,” he said gently. “There are other ways. Concentrate—the job’s not done until we’re home. Remember that.” He put his hand on Karik’s wrist and gave it a squeeze. “You’ve come so far. I’m really proud of you.”
Karik flushed. He would miss Romi’s honest praise. “I owe you so much,” he said. “You’ve been a true friend, and...I never said sorry for all the things I said to you. Thought about you.”
Romi’s face crinkled up in a smile. “Well, now, we know what was behind that, so don’t worry about it. I had one or two uncharitable thoughts about you too from time to time, so we’re even on that.”
“Only one or two?”
“Oh, maybe three,” he said with a grin. “But I always thought you were good at your job. I never thought that about Soza.”
Karik sighed. “If only he hadn’t come along....”
“Yes. But it’s too late for that. I intend to make my feelings known to your uncle, trust me. You, ah, might want to be out of town when I do that.”
“Arman can cope. He deals with Ma and she’s meaner to him than anyone.”
Romi raised his eyebrows in surprise. “She doesn’t like him?”
“Oh, she does, she really does. But she gives him such stick—I think Pa feels sorry for him just for that.”
“Your Ma sounds like a formidable lady,” Romi said.
“She’s amazing. She’s so brave, and so clever and she’ll stand up for anyone who’s being hurt. I love her.” As he spoke, his hand drifted over the tero stone around his neck. He had been so glad it had survived all their trials, though the hair bracelet had long since been lost.
“A gift?” Romi asked quietly, nodding at where his hand was resting. “From her?”
“Both of them, when I was sixteen. Pa found the stone and Ma made the cord out of hair from the three of us. She’s renewed it a few times, always made the same way. So I’ll always know whose son I am, she said.”
“A charming thought.” Romi continued to look at him curiously. “Something puzzles me—when I met you, you had a hair bracelet. I, uh, assumed it was Soza’s, but since it wasn’t, I wondered....”
“Oh, that was Meran,” Karik said, smiling as he thought of his friend and cousin. “She’s always doing things like that—when I was at home last time, she gave it to me. It had her hair, and her brother’s, and Gyo’s in it. I told her people would think I was betrothed, but she said it would stop girls pestering me. She’s a bit odd sometimes.”
“She sounds very nice. And did it? Stop girls?”
“I don’t know. I don’t notice if they do. People don’t seem to look at me that way, thank goodness.” At least, they didn’t used to, he thought, suddenly thinking of Soza, and wondering how long the man had been planning to use him the way he had.
Romi gave him an odd look, and then turned to face the sea. “Give it time,” he said after a few moments’ silence. “You’re still young. Lots of good things to come.”
“What about you? Uh, you said you were single....”
“The less said about the disaster of my love life, the better,” Romi said with a forced-looking smile. “A year away has been good though. I’m hoping for better luck when I return. I intend to go in for some serious wild bean sowing when I get back. I’ve a lovely welcome girl in Urshek-si who’ll warm my blankets for a start.”
“Oh. Uh, that’s nice.”
“They have welcome boys too, you know.”
“Really.” Karik turned away, his cheeks burning.
His wrist was squeezed again. “Sorry—just a joke.”
“I know. I don’t want to think about it, that’s all.” His stomach clenched painfully. “I, uh...I think I want to go and make sure I put everything in my pack. Excuse me, please.”
“Karik, I didn’t mean—”
“Excuse me.” He turned quickly and bolted down the stairs. He didn’t go to the cabin, but instead, hid in a corner beside a store cupboard. Oh gods.... He hugged himself. It had b
een weeks since he’d felt like this, and Romi’s joke wasn’t anything remarkable. He thought he’d been getting over it, but now it was as if no time had passed at all.
He sank to the floor and put his head in his hands. It was so easy for Kepi and Taz and Romi to talk about their next romantic attachment, to talk casually of welcome girls, and women with soft breasts that would fit nicely in their hands. Karik found women’s bodies a mystery, and one he had no interest in exploring. Now, a body like Romi’s....
But that would mean other things, and he couldn’t...he felt sick even imagining being with someone like that.... Soza’s face kept looming in his memory, and the other memories...those fractured, confusing memories that always sat just on the edge of his awareness, taunting him and frightening him. What if sex brought them into full flowering, and he was doomed to have this perfectly normal activity—this perfectly wonderful activity, so everyone else seemed to think—tainted by Soza’s cruelty?
He sat, hiding in the dark, hugging his cramping guts, until he heard the shouting that always went with a ship coming into dock. Time to stop maundering. He made himself get up, straighten up and go to their now abandoned cabin. His pack was gone, so he guessed Kepi or Taz had taken it up on deck. He practiced smiling, forced the nausea down, and then marched up to join the others. He dismissed Romi’s concerned apology and made light chatter about the prospect of seeing their friends again. He did not want to talk about sex any more.
Staying Power: 39
You pissing fool, Romi told himself, watching Karik’s smile not reach his eyes, and the signs of stress in his clenching hands and slight stutter. What a stupid, tasteless thing to say. He wished he could take Karik aside and talk to him, but Karik was determinedly pretending all was well, and besides, in a few moments, they would be dockside—there was no time to pursue this now. Already ropes were on the capstans and the ship was drawn up against the jetty.
Finding no breach in Karik’s determined wall, he sighed to himself and decided to find the captain and thank him, since they would be leaving his ship shortly. The captain accepted his thanks, and then made it clear he was rather busy, so Romi withdrew. Five minutes later, the gangplank was down and they were free to leave.
Karik snapped back into healer mode the moment his feet hit solid ground. “Romi, you can’t walk to the barracks in this.”
Romi had to admit he had a point—walking over compacted ice was a different proposition to fresh snow. “Leave it to me, captain,” Taz said. “I’ll get us a lift.”
“We both will,” Kepi said. “You two wait here.”
Romi waved them off without too much conscience, knowing he really wasn’t up to the half-mile walk to the barracks, and certainly not up to arguing with Karik about it. He took a seat on a capstan—Karik stared at their boat, still behaving as if all was well. “You know, there’s probably a reason people think soldiers are insensitive clods,” Romi said, examining an incipient hole in his boot as he spoke.
“I’m just a pathetic fool,” Karik said bitterly, abruptly dropping the pretence. “I think my heart is more damaged than yours.”
“I think your heart is a lot tougher than you think, but I’m sorry for bringing it up. Try not to let it get to you. You’ve got plenty of time, and when you get home, plenty of people who love you and who will help you.”
“Maybe,” he said briefly. “Look, they’ve found someone—that was quick.”
Romi had to give the point up for now—but he had no intention of giving it up for good. He stood and greeted the cart driver, who was vastly curious about three Darshianese and a Prij suddenly needing assistance, but happy to offer it all the same, piling them into the back of his vehicle and setting his doigs clipping along the icy road at a seemingly perilous pace. It was a dark, overcast day, feeling more like dusk than an hour to noon, and as the cart drove along, it started to snow. Romi thought about how they had come so close to being caught out in the wilds in this, without shelter or proper clothing, and wondered if Sephiz really was looking out for them. It was certainly enough to inspire belief in an all-powerful deity.
They were set down at the barracks and waved off by the helpful driver, then Romi presented himself to the guard post and asked to see Wepizi, or whoever was in charge right now. Their arrival had people scurrying around in a sudden burst of excitement—their supposed deaths had apparently been major news. Within minutes, Romi saw Wepizi hurrying across the snow towards them, his face a mask of amazed delight.
“Benevolent Sephiz!” Romi was seized in a crushing hug. “Oh, my friend, we prayed for your soul. Karik! Kepi, Taz!” Everyone was embraced in turn, then Wepizi stepped back, wiping his eyes. “Are you real? You’re all so thin, but you feel solid enough—only, Kizinke said he saw your bodies....”
“It’s a long story, and pissing cold to be standing around to tell it, Wepizi. Can we...?”
“Of course, of course.” He whistled for assistance, and gave orders for food and tea to be brought to the guest quarters. “Come with me, I’ll show you where you will be staying.”
Wepizi was reluctant to leave their side for even a moment, still rather dazed by their miraculous reappearance, but his perfect manners forbade him from questioning them until they had at least got mugs of drizu in front of them. He perched on a bunk and then said with a determined look, “Now, from the beginning, or I’ll die of curiosity.”
Romi smiled. “First, tell me about Sibu and Reisa.”
“They’re well—as well as we could make them at least. We got back to Visiqe without incident and stayed a week there while she was treated. Reisa was completely healed by then and Sibu close to being so. Our physicians said they could do nothing more for her and recommended she went back to Darshek. I put them on a ship over two months ago, and I had word from Corporal Jou that she was being cared for very well and that Master Kei was seeing to her scars as best they could. Unfortunately, I had to reply with the news we had from Kizinke. What happened, my friends? How can you be dead and then not dead?”
“We weren’t dead, that’s how.” Romi explained carefully, omitting nothing, while Karik, Kepi and Taz listened in silence, sipping their tea. Wepizi listened quietly too, though he let fly a startled oath from time to time as yet another shocking detail was revealed.
“Romi, you haven’t told him you’re sick yet,” Karik said, as he paused.
“Sick? How? Do you need our healer?”
Romi sighed. “Eventually. I got bitten by a marsh bug—a tertri.”
Wepizi’s eyes grew perfectly round. “A tertri? You really should be dead, my friend.”
He honestly wished people would stop saying that. “Thanks to Karik, I’m not. Thanks to all of my team, I’m not. Once I got bitten, I became deadweight. These three saved my life.”
“You were not deadweight,” Kepi snapped.
“Peace, Kepi, let’s not fight about this again,” he said, then turned back to Wepizi. “It’s affected my heart, so I’m not good for much right now. I’m better than I was, but it was a close thing. We were found by the tribal people just in time.”
Wepizi shook his head. “By Sephiz’s name, you have been through a trial. First things first—you need to rest, get clean, relax. Then I’ll make arrangements for you to sail back to Darshian as soon as you’re ready.”
“What happened to Kizinke and Soza? Where’s our collection?” Karik asked.
“Ah. It seemed the two quarrelled, and after Kizinke presented his report, he went back north. Soza sailed direct to Urshek—he said he didn’t want the extra trouble of going via Darshek, I confess I had little interest in the matter, I grieved so much for your loss.” He shook his head again. “But of course, now I realise he didn’t want to face your uncles, Karik.”
“Kei’s a soul-toucher,” Karik said, glancing at Romi. “He’d have known if he was lying.”
Romi nodded. “Exactly—and it looks like he got the Mount Arzha material all for himself after all. I wonder what L
ord Arman and Master Kei thought about that.”
“I suspect they, like me, would have been thinking more about your loss than about some plants,” Wepizi said. “I’m such a fool—I thought their story smelled wrong, but what could I do? We could not have got to you in time to rescue you, and I could not risk people to retrieve corpses. I’m sorry, Romi—I could have....”
“You couldn’t have,” Romi said firmly. “I’d have been furious if you’d tried. But what will you do about Kizinke? Soza, I’ll have to deal with when I get back south.”
“Hmm, I’ll need to talk to my tezrei—an accusation like that can’t be lightly made, and it’s barely possible that it was an accident.”
“But he said he saw our bodies!” Taz said angrily. “Not to mention he never bothered to look for us.”
Wepizi made a ‘simmer down’ motion with his hand. “This is all true, my friend, and indicates that it was not, in fact, bad luck. I will need to take your statements formally, but that can be tomorrow. You look tired and you all stink,” he added with a fastidious wrinkle of his long nose. Romi wondered what he’d have thought if he’s seen them straight off the wagons from Selnozi, if he thought they were bad now. “Don’t tell me after the journey you’ve had, that a few days to rest and recover in comfort would not be welcome.”
“We won’t because it wouldn’t be true,” Romi said, as the others grinned and nodded. “My personal physician forbids me the steam room, unfortunately.”
“Truly? Karik, that’s cruel,” Wepizi said, his eyes twinkling. “Never mind, we have hot water and soap, and those ridiculous braids can be groomed properly. Not to be rude, but you’re not exactly presentable right now.”
Staying Power (Darshian Tales #3) Page 50