“You too,” Kei said stubbornly.
“I won’t be long. Go on.”
As Kei stumbled off, Arman collected Kei’s clothes and hung them over the back of the chair. Then he stripped as Kei watched him through sleepy eyes. “Can we make love first?” Kei asked as Arman came over to him.
“After,” Arman said firmly, even though the hopefulness in Kei’s voice made his cock twitch.
“Bully.”
“Quite.” He got under the covers and pulled Kei into his arms, holding his warm, lean body close against him, savouring the closeness they had not shared in nearly a week, with Arman returning to their rooms after Kei had already left to work on the night shift, and leaving before Kei had come back in the morning. “Now, sleep. You don’t have to do it all, not all at once,” he said, murmuring next to Kei’s ear, then kissing it tenderly.
It seemed no time at all before Kei was a heavy unresisting weight in his arms, and his breathing had deepened into that of true sleep. Arman had to smile at the idea of Kei, even exhausted as he was, offering to have sex with him. It wasn’t that Arman was against the idea—far from it, as his cock, now hard from Kei’s leg pressing against it in a delicious way, could testify. But he wasn’t exaggerating his concerns in the slightest, and though he would have a fight on his hands when Kei woke with some of his energy restored to him, Arman was determined to have his way. He would not allow the most precious thing in his world to be lost from inattention, nor this magnificent man to wear himself to the bone as everyone who knew Kei had warned Arman he was wont to do.
He wished these six months were up though. He wanted the liberty to make the choices that were best for both of them—but he had an obligation to justice and a dead boy’s soul to discharge first, though, in truth, he would never do either as fully as he wanted. Soon, he promised silently, kissing Kei’s forehead. Soon we will be free, and you can go home again.
Freely Given: 2
“Kei?”
Kei sat up straight as he heard the voice in his inner ‘ear’. “Yes, Neka?”
“Sorry to disturb you, but Meki wants to know if you could step across to his office to meet with him and Arman this afternoon.”
“Er...yes, I think so,” he said, quickly checking that he was free. “What for, did he say?”
“No, he didn’t. I suppose it’s about you two leaving us soon.”
She sounded sad. “Yes, that must be it. I can’t wait, though I’ll miss you all.”
“It’ll be so terribly dull without you. Reis is miserable at the idea. Even Wyma can’t cheer him up.”
“I won’t be leaving for a couple of weeks yet. Not until Reji gets here and does his business. I’ll see Reis again.”
“Yes...but at some point, it will be the last time. Do you have to go, Kei?”
He sighed. “Yes, dear, I do. Because I miss everyone and they miss me. And they do need me.”
“So do we.” Neka didn’t tend to pout the way Reis did when he was frustrated, but there was a pout in her tone, nonetheless. “Maybe we should arrange for Jera and Reis to fly you back and forth so you can spend a month there and a month here?”
He had to laugh at the idea. “That’d be fun, but not very practical. But I will come back, I promise that. And you could come to visit, if you liked.”
“Leave Darshek?”
“Can’t see why not. Not if it’s just for a visit. You’d like Ai-Albon. You liked Myka, didn’t you?”
“Oh, yes, she’s such a dear girl. Well, maybe. It’ll give Reis something to think about, anyway.”
“Good. If you could let Lord Meki know I’ll be over there at three. Thank you, Neka.”
She closed the connection. He sighed and laid his pencil down, walked over to one of the large windows in the library to look out over the garden. He loved this place—it felt, a little, like being with his parents again. All that knowledge, waiting to fall into his hands, and in these books, in the heads of all the clever people who worked and studied here, might be the answers to the questions which plagued him. A cure for bej fever, a cure for the wasting diseases, a way to prevent the catastrophic infections which claimed too many even when surgery had apparently succeeded. He felt so ignorant, so helpless in the face of all that he didn’t know, and this was power, waiting for him to use.
And yet...as he looked out over the magnificent beds of flowers, the lush lawns, in his mind’s eye he saw the herb garden back home—saw his mother as she used to kneel, carefully selecting the best leaves, the most pungent flowers, the seed pods, little Myka at her side, learning and listening, as Kei himself had done. And there—there was Pa, coming out to them with mugs of tea, kneeling by Ma and kissing her cheek, squeezing his daughter and making her giggle. Then looking over to Kei with that brilliant smile of his. ‘Come on, son—you just going to watch the rest of us work?’
Kei felt his eyes filling with tears, remembering, missing them so much, wishing with the dull ache of hopelessness that his parents were still alive, that at least his Ma had not chosen to leave them when they were still so young and needed her. Only Myka left, his precious, beloved sister—the only one who could carry on their line, the seed of his parents’ humanity and intelligence. All Kei could do was continue their work, solve the mysteries they had struggled with, just as he was struggling. One day, no more children would lose their parents to bej fever. No more fathers and mothers would watch their children gasping as their own lungs drowned them. And no more grieving widows would take their lives out of raw despair at their loss.
He rubbed his eyes, and blew his nose, wiping the indulgent tears from his cheeks. This did his parents’ memory no honour, and it was a dreadful waste of his opportunity. He had work to do, and little time to do it. He had to get on.
~~~~~~~~
“I think you will find, my lord, that the real difficulty—”
Arman stopped talking as there was a knock at the door and then Lord Meki’s clerk put her head around the door. “My lord, Kei of Ai-Albon is here for you.”
“Send him in, thank you.”
The clerk bowed and withdrew. Arman regarded his superior. Lord Meki looked suspiciously pleased with himself. “My lord, you didn’t mention Kei was coming here.”
“I asked him here because I wanted to speak to both of you. Please put that aside for the moment, and then take a seat.”
The door opened just as Arman finished clearing up—it was Kei, freshly washed, wearing a clean shirt, and looking rather nervous. He bowed. “My lord, you wanted to see me?”
“Yes, thank you for coming, Kei. Arman, pull up another chair, please. Kei, sit.”
Kei looked at Arman and raised an eyebrow—Arman could only shrug minutely. He had no idea what was going on. Once they were settled, Lord Meki steepled his hands. “And how are you doing, Kei? Making good progress with your studies?”
“Yes, my lord, passing fair. There’s so much to learn, but I’ve completed the official course as planned. I believe I’ve reached an adequate standard.”
“Adequate, hmph. Your instructors are running out of superlatives, young man. I believe you embarrass them—if you weren’t so well-liked, I believe they might even be happy to see the back of you.” The Ruler’s thin lips curved in an uncharacteristic smile. “But as it happens, they’re not.”
“I’m glad of that, my lord,” Kei said stiffly. “May I ask if that’s why you wanted to see me?”
“No, it wasn’t, not directly. I wanted you as a witness, actually. Arman, I have something for you.” He reached into one of his desk drawers and drew out a document which he handed to Arman. Puzzled, Arman read it, then handed it to Kei. The Ruler raised an eyebrow at his lack of reaction. “Hmmm. I thought you would be pleased to be discharged, Arman.”
“I am, my lord. But nothing can erase the crime, or my dishonour. I thank you for allowing me a way at least to carry out my sentence in a fashion which served Darshian.”
Lord Meki shook his head. “Arman
, Arman.... You must come to an accommodation with your past if your future is to hold any happiness. Isn’t that right, Kei?”
“Only what I’ve been telling him, my lord. Arman, the sentence isn’t meant to erase your guilt. It’s meant to help you and the community heal the breach between you.”
“Tell that to the father of the boy I killed.”
Kei sighed. “Jik could take the path towards forgiveness and healing just as Seya and the village have. It’s there, waiting for him. But he can’t be forced down it. You aren’t responsible if he wants to hold onto his hate.”
Arman profoundly disagreed with Kei on this point, but he didn’t want to discuss it in front of the Ruler. “Thank you, my lord, regardless. I will be at your disposal for another couple of weeks, possibly as long as a month.”
“Oh, I want a good deal longer than that, my dear fellow,” Lord Meki said, looking rather pleased with himself. “I want you here permanently. Will you accept a position as my assistant?”
Kei gasped a little, but Arman was already shaking his head. “No. I’m sorry, my lord, I regret I cannot. Kei wants to return to his home, and where he goes, I go.”
But Lord Meki seemed completely unconcerned. “Thought you’d say that. As it happens, the Master of the academy has told me that he’ll be offering our young healer a senior lecturer’s position, available immediately. I was asked,” he said, smiling tightly, “to put the offer as firmly as I could. They want you here, Kei. The salary isn’t particularly generous, but there is a private apartment, and all found. What do you say?”
Kei sat like a man who’d been hit over the head with a hammer. “M...my lord...me?”
“Oh yes, you. Very much you. The feelings of our Gifted friends have also been made very clear to me, though I could not in conscience allow them to offer you a position as a pet, which I believe Reis thought might be suitable.”
Kei smiled at that. “Uh, no. Enjoyable though that would be. My lord...thank you, but I....” He turned to Arman, his eyes pleading. “I can’t,” he said quietly. “I need to go home.”
“My lord...this is too much to decide this afternoon. Kei’s family, his clan, all need to be consulted.”
The Ruler harrumphed. “Yes, yes, of course, do you take me for a fool? I’m simply giving you the choice. Naturally you need to talk. But don’t make your country wait too long,” he added sternly.
“No, my lord,” Kei said, pulling himself up straight. “But I serve my country as a healer whether it’s here or in my village. You won’t persuade me by attempting to portray Darshek as more worthy than Ai-Albon.”
Arman suppressed a grin at Kei’s determined speech. Lord Meki was serene in the face of it, however. “I’m not, I assure you, young man. If you cure a man or woman in your village, that is a good and noble thing. If you teach a dozen healers well, so they can go back to their villages and cure a man or woman each, then that is a good and noble thing a dozen times over. You’re a gifted healer, Kei. But you are even more gifted, so they tell me, as a researcher and a teacher.” Now if Lord Meki had stopped there, Arman thought, he might have convinced Kei on the spot. But he continued. “Don’t forget, your choice will determine what Arman will choose as well—and that is just as essential to this country’s welfare.”
Arman almost groaned as Kei’s fine eyebrows drew together in a frown. “So am I being offered this as a bribe, my lord? A way of keeping me happy because your real desire is Arman’s presence? If that’s the case, you can—”
“Kei,” Arman said hastily, laying a hand on his lover’s arm to forestall an irretrievable insult. “That’s not why the offer was made. They really don’t work like that here.”
“No, indeed we do not,” Lord Meki said, rather huffily. “Go ask the Master himself. I had only been planning to find you a suitable position as a healer in one of the city infirmaries, as befitted your training. I assure you, the offer from the academy has nothing to do with me. They’re independently minded, that lot. They wouldn’t tolerate such interference, or haven’t you noticed the nature of the people you’ve been working with for six months? Well?”
“No, I suppose not,” Kei muttered, though he sounded less than convinced.
“My lord—perhaps I could take the rest of the day off so we can think about it?”
“Of course you can. You’re now under no obligation to me or anyone else, Arman. You may do as you choose now for the rest of your life, which I hope will be a long and happy one.”
Arman bowed. “Thank you, my lord. Come on, Kei.”
Kei made a sketchy bow but the scowl didn’t abate. As soon as they were outside the office, he shook off Arman’s arm and stalked down the corridor towards the foyer.
“Where are you going?”
“Outside. I need fresh air.”
The sharp tone and the irritated line to Kei’s back warned Arman to wait, just a little, until his lover had a chance to calm down. When he finally caught up with him at the far end of the extensive gardens, Kei was kneeling by a flower bed, morosely examining a rather beautiful orange flower—as it happened, a plant from Kuprij. One of the benefits of peace. He came and sat down on the grass close, but not too close, to Kei, and stayed quiet. Kei remained silent too, but his fingers, caressing the long petals and furry leaves, shook ever so slightly.
It was more than ten minutes before he heaved a sigh and turned to look at Arman. “Now I’ll never know if the offer was for me or for you.”
“You, of course.”
But Kei shook his head. “It’s you. It’s been you for nearly two years. He’s been plotting to get you here since he met you, and why wouldn’t he? Kuprij’s finest general, a wonderful tactician, planner, engineer....”
Arman reached over and touched Kei’s hand. “Healer, teacher, researcher.... I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe you would be wanted for your own enormous gifts.”
“Because he doesn’t care about that. He’s all about roads and harbours and supply routes and ships and—”
“No, you’re wrong, completely wrong, Kei. Lord Meki is a decent, kind man and I don’t want you slandering him that way. He really cares about people, about you, me, the people of this country. I admire him very much.”
Kei stared in surprise. “You want to work for him.”
“Given a completely clear choice, yes. But my duty is to you and only you, for now, for always. I have but one master until the day I die, and were you to accept his offer only for my sake, I would refuse to come. Were you to accept against my heart, I would come. Do you understand?”
Kei nodded mutely. “I’m being childish?”
“No. He was tactless. But he wasn’t lying to you—didn’t your gift tell you that?”
“Couldn’t tell,” he muttered. “I was just so angry, I couldn’t sense anything.”
“Ah. Well, when you are less angry, perhaps you should talk to him again. He admires you. I’ve never met a man more straightforward, and less patient with fools. He wouldn’t want you anywhere near him if he didn’t think you were an asset.”
“Unless it brought you along.”
Arman shook his head, moved closer and put his arm around Kei’s waist, leaning his chin on his lover’s shoulder. “Not going to win this one, am I?”
“Not today, no. Myka would kill me. Fedor...Mis...Arman, I miss them,” he said, turning soulful eyes on Arman. “I can’t.”
“Then you can’t and that’s an end to it.”
“Damn you, Arman! Stop being reasonable at me!” Arman bit his lip, but wasn’t very successful at hiding his grin. Kei glared for a few moments, but couldn’t hold it. His generous mouth twisted into a wry smile. “Now I am being childish.”
“Mmmm, just a bit. It’s allowed. We have time to think. At least until Reji arrives, and even then, as long as you want. We need to go back anyway—I promised you we’d be home for the night of the ancestors and I want that. It’s important for both of us.”
“Yes, it is,
” Kei said solemnly. “It’s that almost more than anything which makes me hesitate, you know. Not being able to join in the clan’s activities, not being part of their memories, not being part of the history of my family. It’s bad enough I can’t continue my parents’ line, but to forsake it completely....”
“You wouldn’t be. Wherever you are, you would be a true part of that. No one ever said the history of Keiji and Erte had to be written in Ai-Albon. They would be very proud of you, whatever you do and wherever you do it. My father taught me that,” he added quietly. “Ironic, don’t you think?”
“I always thought he couldn’t have been all bad as a parent. Look at how you turned out,” Kei said, looking at him with loving eyes, before moving in to kiss him on the lips. “Sorry.”
“No need. Why don’t we go for a swim? And maybe Neka can see if we’d be welcome at the House of the Gifted tonight? I know they’ll want to spend time with you.”
“She was bending my ear about it earlier, so yes.” He got to his feet and offered a hand to Arman. “Cowardly of me, not to want what you accepted so easily? Leaving your home, your family, your career?”
“You gave me more than I lost. A hundred times more. I have not a single regret,” he said firmly. “Not one, not ever, not for any reason at all. Your situation is different, so don’t make the comparison. You have to decide what is best for you.”
“And for you. Damn you both—you’re throwing it all back on me!”
“And would you be happier if I made the decision? You don’t like being ordered about!”
“Grrrr. I need a swim. I’m tired of pissing Rulers, and pissing Darshek and the pissing academy and....”
“And?” Arman was curious as to what could have been left out of his damnations, since he had been so thorough.
Staying Power (Darshian Tales #3) Page 66