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by Susan Mallery


  “I’ll be fine,” Penny said. “Don’t worry about me.”

  Naomi gone! It wasn’t possible. Who else would she talk to in the middle of the night when she’d just watched a sad movie and couldn’t stop crying? Who else would understand the need to never eat blue M&M’s on even days of the month? Who else would coach her through delivery and stay with her for the first couple of weeks after the baby was born?

  Naomi swore and got to her feet.

  “What?” Penny asked.

  “You’re crying.”

  Penny sniffed. “It doesn’t mean anything. I’m hormonal.”

  She stood and her friend walked around the table. They held on to each other.

  “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” Naomi whispered. “I won’t ever forget that.”

  “Me, either.”

  Naomi sighed. “See. This is why love sucks. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t care if I had to leave.”

  “If you didn’t love me after all we’ve been through, I’d throw a meat cleaver at your head.”

  DANI GLARED at Cal. “I can’t believe you never told me you had a daughter. All this time.” Her gaze narrowed. “Walker and Reid know, don’t they? You guys always stick together.”

  Cal put his arm around Dani as they walked from the parking lot on the University of Washington campus. “I didn’t know they knew, if that makes you feel any better. I thought it was a secret.”

  “Oh, right. I swear, it’s like living in a soap opera. I keep expecting to hear the smooth-voiced guy murmuring in the background. ‘While Dani is unaware of her brother’s illegitimate child, Lindsey has dealt with cancer. Of course Dani is an idiot for marrying a jerk like Hugh. More after the commercial break.’ It really pisses me off.”

  “The guy?”

  “No. You. What other secrets are there?”

  He could think of only one really big one and he wasn’t going there today. Dani had enough to deal with.

  “Like I said, I didn’t know Reid and Walker had heard me fighting with Gloria about Lindsey back when I was in high school. I didn’t deliberately keep the information from you.”

  “But you didn’t tell me when you found out the guys knew.”

  “You had stuff on your mind.”

  She sighed. “I’m all grown up, Cal. You can stop trying to protect me from the world.”

  “Sorry, that’s part of the job description.”

  She linked her arm through his and leaned against him. “You’re a good big brother.”

  “Thanks.”

  While he appreciated the compliment, he wasn’t sure he’d earned it. Penny had told him to come clean with Dani and he planned to. Soon. But not today.

  “Are you sure about this?” he asked.

  She patted her jacket pocket. “Completely. I’m not paying some guy to serve Hugh the papers when I can do it myself. Plus I want to see the look in his eyes. He won’t be expecting me. Some small discomfort on his part isn’t a whole lot of reward, I know, but it’s all I’m going to get.” She glanced at her watch. “He has office hours now. Maybe he’ll have students in with him. That would be exciting.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, not sure how to make things better for her.

  “Don’t be. I don’t like how Hugh handled things with me, but I’m no longer questioning the divorce. Don’t get me wrong. I’m still furious. I gave him so much of my life and to have him tell me he outgrew me makes me want to back the car over all of his possessions. He practically sucked the life out of me and now he’s acting all noble. But the truth is I don’t love him. I haven’t for a while.”

  That was a relief. Bad enough Dani had to go through this. Had she been heartbroken, it would have been so much worse.

  “Maybe you’ll like being single,” he said.

  “I’m kind of looking forward to it,” she admitted. “I went from a college dorm to married. I’ve never had my own place.”

  “Do you know where you’re going to move?”

  “No. Part of me wants to make Hugh move. After all, this was his idea. But handicap accessible apartments are hard to find.” She turned right on the path. “But it really bugs me that this is all his idea and I’m the only one inconvenienced.” She shook her head. “Let’s change the subject. The campus looks pretty.”

  Cal glanced around. Spring had arrived and there were tulips in bloom everywhere. The ground was wet from recent rain, but the sky was a bright blue.

  “I have a lot of memories here,” he said.

  “I can imagine the parties—and the girls—you indulged in,” Dani said. “I, of course, only studied.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, right. I remember getting more than one call from you because you didn’t want to drive back to the dorm after a party.”

  “Hey, at least I didn’t try driving.”

  “Did I ever complain?”

  “There was that one time. I distinctly remember a disgruntled female voice in the background. Hmm, could it have been Penny?”

  “Maybe.”

  “She’s great, you know.”

  “I agree.”

  “You two are doing a terrific job at The Waterfront.”

  Cal glanced at her. “I’m sorry about that. Not the success, but that Gloria didn’t offer you the restaurant.”

  “No offense, but me, too. Still, it’s done. Once I get Hugh served and move out, I’m going to have a big sit-down with Gloria and lay it on the line. Either she gives me something more to do or I’m quitting.”

  He didn’t know what to say. “You would leave the company?”

  “Watch me. Here it is.”

  She pointed at the flight of stairs, then led the way up to Hugh’s office on the second floor. Dani walked down the hall and stopped in front of one of the closed doors.

  When she tried the handle, it didn’t turn.

  “Locked,” she said. “But it’s his office hours.” She glanced at the card by the door to confirm the times Hugh was supposed to be there. “Weird.”

  She listened for a second, then knocked. “Hugh?”

  There was a muffled noise, then a bump. Dani looked at Cal. “Okay, I don’t like that.”

  Cal was with her on that one. He had a bad feeling. “Let’s come back.”

  Her mouth pulled straight as she dug into her purse. “I don’t think so. Dammit all to hell, if that bastard…” She pulled out a key chain and searched through the keys. When she inserted one into the lock, Cal nearly pulled her back.

  “You don’t want to know,” he said, putting a hand on her arm. “Let’s go.”

  She shrugged him off. “Don’t you think I have a right?”

  With that she pushed open the door. Hugh sat in his wheelchair, his shirt open. A young woman, probably a student, stood next to him. Her hair was mussed and she’d nearly finished buttoning her blouse.

  “Dani.” Hugh sounded surprised and wary. “I didn’t know you were going to come by.”

  “Obviously.” She looked between Hugh and the woman. “So, you want a divorce because you’ve grown as a person? If this is your idea of personal growth, I’m not interested. I would think of it more as being small, petty and a cheater. But hey, I’m just in the restaurant business. I probably wouldn’t understand something this complex. I wonder what your department chair is going to say when she finds out you’ve been getting so close to your students?” She held out the papers. “Consider yourself served.”

  The student shifted uncomfortably. Her face was bright red, and she kept touching her hair. “I, ah—”

  “Did you know he was married?” Dani asked, then shook her head. “Never mind. I have a piece of advice for you. I doubt you’ll take it, but here it is. If he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you.” She turned back to Hugh. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am I wasted so much of my life on you. You weren’t worth it.”

  She walked out of the office. “Let’s go,” she told Cal.

  “I want to hit him.”

&
nbsp; “I appreciate that, but I think I’ll clobber him financially, instead. I was going to be fair and kind during the divorce. Not anymore.”

  He reached for her hand and felt her trembling. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too.”

  Hugh rolled into the hallway. “Dani, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

  She stopped and looked back at him. “How did you want me to find out, Hugh? What’s the best way to tell your wife that you want a divorce so you can screw someone else? You should have told me the truth. I would have been angry but I wouldn’t have thought you were such an asshole.”

  She walked away.

  “Dani! Come back.”

  She shook her head and kept walking.

  “Just one punch,” Cal said.

  “Thanks, but no. It’s fine.” They reached the stairs and she hurried down them. “This is good. I’d actually been wondering what I could have done to make things better between us. I won’t be doing that anymore.”

  They reached the outside. Dani stopped walking and covered her face with her hands. “My whole life totally sucks. I don’t have a career or a marriage. I hate this.”

  He pulled her close and let her cry against him. “Things will get better.”

  “When? I want a date. Tell me when.”

  He stroked her hair. “I’m sorry, Dani. I don’t know. But soon.”

  “Promise?”

  “Yeah.”

  “POOR KID,” Penny said. “I can’t believe Hugh was cheating. I always thought he was a decent guy.”

  “We all thought that,” Cal told her. “Guess we were wrong.”

  “It’s good you didn’t hit him. I don’t care how strong he is, he’s in a wheelchair and you’re a big, burly guy. No way you would have won that in court.”

  Cal shrugged and she could see he didn’t much care about the ramifications of his actions. Someone he cared about was hurt and he wanted to lash out.

  Funny how she’d never noticed that about him when they’d been married. She’d never seen his protective streak for what it was. Instead of appreciating what he was trying to do and looking for compromise, she’d rebelled against what she’d thought was unreasonable behavior.

  She sank lower into the chair and closed her eyes as he continued to push his thumbs into the ball of her right foot.

  “You’re really good at this,” she said, enjoying the massage. “I spend my life standing. Most of the time I don’t mind it but lately I’ve been in some serious pain.”

  “You’re pregnant.”

  She opened one eye and smiled. “I’d heard that rumor. Where did you learn to do foot massage? One of the many women you dated after our divorce? Or did you know it while we were married and keep the information from me?”

  “I took a class on the Internet,” he joked. “Just relax and enjoy.”

  “I might have to make moany noises.”

  “Have at it.”

  She gave herself up to the slow, steady massage. There was something erotic about having Cal rub her bare foot. Or maybe it was the fact that when he concentrated on her toes, her heel seemed to end up pressing against his—

  Don’t go there, she told herself. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. There hadn’t been a repeat performance—no surprise, given the emotional roller coaster they’d been on for the past few weeks.

  In some ways they were getting along better than ever. In other ways, he was more of a stranger than she could imagine. Neither of which kept her from lying awake in bed at night and wishing he were with her.

  “When is Dani moving out?” she asked, as much to distract herself as to get the information.

  “As soon as she can find a place. Hugh gets the apartment. It’s handicapped accessible.”

  “She can live here while she’s looking.”

  Cal’s hands stopped moving. She opened her eyes again.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You’d offer that?”

  “Sure. I have a second bedroom.” She waved at her cozy duplex. “She needs some time to regroup and I don’t need the other bedroom until the baby gets here.” She smiled. “Plus, she’ll probably be so grateful, she’ll help me paint when she leaves.”

  “I think it’s a good idea. I offered to let her stay with me, but she didn’t want to.”

  Penny wrinkled her nose. “It would be too much like moving back home. I would move in with a friend way before I would go live with one of my sisters. I would hate the daily reminder I hadn’t turned out like them.”

  He put down her right foot and reached for her left. After pulling off her sock, he rolled up her jeans. “You don’t still worry about that, do you?” he asked.

  Penny relaxed and gave herself over to the stroking pressure of his fingers on her heel.

  “Sometimes. Before I figured out I wanted to be a chef, I was a complete failure. I flunked out of college.” She winced at the thought. “I lived two years of my life in Pullman thinking I could become a vet. Like I could ever pass those science classes.”

  “But you regrouped and moved to Seattle.”

  “Oh, right. I moved away from Spokane because my parents were done supporting my various screw-ups. For the first month, I was so broke, I slept in my car.”

  “All the more reason to be proud of what you’ve become.”

  “You’re right. My parents are excited about my career.” If not the baby, she thought. No, that wasn’t fair. They were happy to have another grandchild.

  “You should invite them out,” Cal said.

  She opened her eyes and stared at him. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Why not? They can see you at the restaurant, see the city.”

  “Oh, right. Because I need more going on in my life. Don’t you dare say anything to them, either.”

  He grinned. “We don’t talk much these days.”

  “I guess not. As it is, my mother is going to come out when I have the baby.” That might be good, what with Naomi talking about leaving. “Families. Who thought up the concept?”

  “You love your parents,” he said. “You know you do.”

  She nodded. “They’re great. I love my sisters, too. I wish they weren’t so perfect, but I can handle it.”

  Cal moved to the ball of her foot and dug in with his thumbs. “I’m going to have to talk to Dani about her father.”

  “The whole not being a Buchanan thing?”

  “Yes. She told me she wants to have a heart to heart with Gloria and find out the real reason she hasn’t been promoted. The conversation isn’t going to go well.”

  “It’s better that she hears it from you instead of Gloria. Dani knows how much you care.”

  He shrugged. “I accept that, but I still don’t want to be the one to tell her. It’s going to hurt her and she doesn’t need any more pain right now. I’m going to try to hold her off a week or so. Let her get settled.”

  “Don’t wait too long.”

  “I won’t.”

  His cell phone rang. He grabbed for it with an eagerness that told her he’d been waiting. To find out if he was a match, she thought, as he glanced at the display.

  “It’s Tracy,” he said before he pushed the talk button and said, “Hello?”

  She looked at him and saw the worry in his dark eyes. Then his mouth curved and she knew even before he hung up.

  “I’m a match!” he said with a grin. “Nearly a perfect one. I’ve got to get through some tests, but I’m healthy, so we’re going to assume we can go through with this. I can save her.”

  And because she knew how much that meant to him, she put her confusion aside.

  “I’m glad,” she said honestly, then leaned forward and hugged him. “Let’s celebrate. We can’t go out for a drink, but we can go eat. Or you drink and I’ll watch.”

  “No liquor for me,” he said. “I want to be healthy. Let’s go get a salad.”

  She laughed. “I can’t believe you actually said that.”
/>   “Me, either.”

  She smiled and squeezed his arms. “Let’s call the whole family and have them join us. Everyone will want to know.”

  “Great idea.”

  He reached for his cell phone.

  As he contacted Reid, Walker and Dani, Penny put on her shoes and socks. Cal was such a good man—caring, determined. He was a good father to Lindsey. But his heart seemed to stop there. No one new got in. Which meant only a fool would expect him to change.

  But as he laughed with Reid, she found herself wishing things had been different. That he could have let her in, that they could have stayed together and made a family of their own.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THERE WERE A FINITE NUMBER of high schools in the Seattle area and Walker had been lucky enough to find Ben on the first try. His friend had attended West Seattle High School his sophomore year. There had been seven Ashleys in his grade and nearly thirty attending the school that year.

  After making a list of them, Walker spent some time on the Internet, tracking down marriages, name changes and locations. Several had moved away. Ben’s last physical contact had been right before he’d shipped off to Afghanistan, which meant any Ashleys moving more than eighteen months ago could be eliminated. Anyone married longer than that same period could also be taken off the list. Which still left him with eleven women.

  The first, Ashley Beauman, lived in Bellevue, just east of Lake Washington. He turned onto the residential street shortly after ten on Tuesday morning. While he doubted he would find Ashley home, he could at least find her house and come back later.

  But when he pulled up there was a car in the driveway and several toys on the front yard. Toys for small children. Either Ashley had been keeping secrets from Ben or this wasn’t the right one.

  Walker parked and climbed out of his X5. He stepped over a tricycle on his way to the front door.

  A tall blond woman answered on the first ring. She looked frazzled and had a toddler on her hip.

  “Yes?”

  Walker had deliberately dressed casually. He smiled and introduced himself, then quickly explained he was looking for someone who had known a friend of his in the marines.

  “I don’t remember anyone named Ben in high school,” the woman said, shifting her child to her other hip. “Was he in the same grade?”

 

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