A Dead-End Job

by Justin Alcala

  “Hurry down, my love,” said a voice with enough resonance and base to bewilder James Earl Jones.

  Rosita bit her lip while clutching her bone locket. Her skull makeup had been partially smeared from rain. She took one last glance behind her, whispered under her breath, and then her feet lifted off the ground like Mary Poppins. Luna tried to run, but just as I was about to fire, Rosita tugged the child up to her chest and hovered down six stories to her allies.

  “It’s the Flesh Golem,” Rosita hollered while landing. She tugged Luna by her hair. Luna squashed her eyes in pain, grabbing futility at the top of her head. I tried to block out any emotions as I slowly and carefully readjusted my shot.

  “He’s a clever Holy Joe, ain’t he.” The Mad Knight checked the remnants of his clip.

  “You better watch your backside.” Dub grunted.

  “Is everything a joke to you?” Rosita sneered. The Mad Knight beamed with his hundred tiny teeth. The rap of a truck door thudded above. “Just buy me time and I’ll cook up a spell for that stitch-faced fool.”

  “Shall I call our children?” Dub’s husky voice bellowed.

  “Yes.” Rosita raised her chin.

  Dub parted his hair, revealing a maw of angler fish pin teeth. The jaw opened and a screech like hot steam from a kettle punctured through the storms. The cry pierced at my eardrums just as it had in the alley of Gamer’s Pair-a-Dice. I stuffed my head under my arm in a daze until the noise ended. Stunned, I moved the barrel toward Rosita and aimed at the base of her neck. I controlled my breathing, trying to refocus while following the jittery woman wave a hand over her head. She spoke in broken Spanish as an amethyst glow twinkled along her fingers. Luna’s eyes shined with tears as Rosita grasped the girl’s collar, moments later Rosita stopped.

  “Wait,” she called out. “Where are the bodies?”

  “Right here, doll face,” shouted Dillinger from his rusted bunker. A barrage of bullets from the Thompson pierced into Dub, forcing the doppelgänger to dance the full-auto boogey. Dub fell to the ground in a steaming heap. His body twitched and snapped along the wet gravel. From there, everything happened almost instantaneously. A chrome light flashed, and The Mad Knight vanished. Rosita released Luna and dove for cover, disappearing behind the leftover bulldozer bucket.

  Luna was free, but in harm’s way. Dub lurched to his feet, now a towering grizzly bear. Blood spewed from his wound, but the holes were tiny in comparison to his sheer mass. Another flash flared behind Dillinger, and The Mad Knight pounced from John’s backside. Dillinger spun in time to bat The Mad Knight’s pistol with his Tommy Gun. Both firearms flung to the floor, forcing the men into a grapple that knocked over crates. Meanwhile, the huffing Grizzly-Dub reared its lips to reveal enormous teeth and charged Luna. I focused on the bear’s center of mass.

  Relax, breath, squeeze.

  The rifle gave a soft kick. Old Lilith’s silencer created a spitting sound as a fluorescent bullet ripped into Dub’s heart. I drew my eye from the scope just in time to watch the bear’s massive head let out a bellow before it fell face first onto the ground, nearly missing Luna. Never piss off a man that can end you from another zip code. Rosita stood up from her cover, wailed, and, with a hand blazed in periwinkle flame, threw her spell at me. The purple tennis ball sized energy grew into a meteor, its heat causing me to wince. But just as the fireball should have crashed into the top of the silo and melted me like wax, it instead smashed into an invisible curved shield. The salt circle had worked.

  Rosita’s eyes burned with fury. She flicked her fingers and another twinkle of fire flickered in her palm. She glared at Luna, who was now starting down at Dub’s corpse as it returned to its original form. I plugged my eye back into the scope and tried to take aim. My magnified vision rebounded just as an anvil of flesh and muscle slammed down between Luna and Rosita. It was Adam.

  His open leather vest revealed medical electrodes patched between a bare, jutting mishmash of scarred muscles across his chest. He charged Rosita, tackling her before she could release her spell. I heard a crunch as they went prone. She coughed blood before giving a sick red smile. Adam hung over her with the same confused stare I was likely wearing.

  Rosita pointed to the top of the hole and gurgled out two words. “Mijos.”

  Static crepitated along the atmosphere. A swarm of hag-children poured from the surface and spider climbed down at an alarming rate. Some, seeing their mother’s plight, leapt reckless from the walls, smashing into Adam. Their gnarled teeth bit into Adam’s shoulders and back.

  Rosita rolled out from under Adam and floundered to her feet. I aimed but Adam, who was fumbling with a handful of soaked monster children, was too close for comfort. Rosita clenched her bone necklace, whispered, and limped away. Her skin began to fade into diaphanous cobwebs. I fired at Rosita, but the bullet passed through just as the bruja faded into nothing.

  A baseball team’s worth of hag-children reached the base of the silo. They clawed up, faces frozen in broken grins. I aimed Old Lilith at the lead creature and fired. The sapphire bullet bore through its forehead, rupturing it into cherry jello. The headless hag-child fell backwards onto its siblings, causing several to tumble. A trio of remaining exorcist-girls continued to clamor up. I slung Old Lilith by her strap and took a leap of faith toward a cluster of devil-kids circling Luna. Groans called from under me as the hag-children broke my fall. Pain seared from my elbows and back upon impact, but I used it as rocket fuel. I planted my feet in agony onto the ground and pushed off my pile of involuntary crowd surfing partners. Luna raised her arms. I lifted her up and hurried to my closest planted weapons. I kicked the parts of a withered cement mixer over, grabbed the knife, and gun, then hurried to the pit’s wall ladder.

  Luna twirled to my back, clinging. The hag-children were fast, crawling like apes with their hands and feet. There was too much going on to know how Dillinger or Adam were, but I assumed they weren’t faring well. The plan was falling apart. I reached the ladder and started climbing. The hag-children clawed up the sides. I was struggling to ascend with a knife and pistol in my hand, so I stopped, unloaded the .22 on the closest horror until it fell. From the opposite side, a small wrinkly hand of a bald child donned in overalls clasped my foot. I put the Mayan blade between my teeth, held onto the ladder with both arms, and gave a short hook kick. My heel connected with the creature’s temple, sending both the hag-child and my shoe back down to Earth. I continued upward.

  The slippery bars took time, allowing more hag-children to catch up. I wasn’t going to be able to reach the top, so I scaled to a wide balcony along the fourth-floor rim. Luna rolled off me. There was a legion of hag-children scattered throughout the pit, but I was more concerned about the throng trailing me. I gave a crescent kick to a mutant Eloise lookalike, forcing her to topple onto her family and down the pit.

  Near the silo now on the opposite side of the hole, a supernova of electricity from a swarm of little monsters told me Adam lived. He smashed a hoary boy in a striped unitard through the bedrock. From a third-floor ledge above him, a gang of harpy-toddlers pushed a huge scissor lift to the ledge. I flipped the rifle, aimed through the scope, and fired a precious bullet at one of the hag-children pushing the lift’s tire. A blue blaze pierced the creature and popped the rubber. Adam looked up and stampeded out of the way, crushing several hag-children under his boots. Automatic gunfire helped me locate Dillinger. He was at the center of the hole’s floor unloading his recovered Tommy Gun. There was a break in fire; John threw down the smoking submachine gun and retreated. He was just steps away from Thing One and Two. I removed the Mayan dagger from my mouth.

  “Under the orange cone,” I shouted as loudly as I could.

  Dillinger flicked his stare to me, nodded, then hurried to a construction cone and kicked it over. The silver .45s greeted him. Dillinger picked them up and fed lead into his pursuers, giving him a temporary escape route.

  Crack.

  I felt a hard blow on the back o
f my head. The impact drove me forward onto my face. My ears rang as I rolled posterior to see my assailant. The Mad Knight stood over me, water leaking from his yellow slicker onto my face. He held the pistol in his hand like a hammer.

  “Stand him up,” Rosita ordered from nearby. Her voice sounded low as if played in slow motion. My brain was trapped in La-La Land. The Mad Knight grabbed my tie and choked me to my feet. I wobbled but remained standing.

  “A fine ruse, Buck,” Rosita complimented. My eyes finally managed to focus on her. She held Luna at the edge of the pit, ready to push her. “It won’t be enough though. Now, you will be giving over the real rifle or else the child dies.”

  A graduating class worth of kindergarten fiends clattered up onto our perch. I was outnumbered, overpowered, and disorientated. Sucks to be me.

  “You shot me last time we did this,” I slurred.

  “Yes.” Rosita concurred, “and I will again, Buck. You must know already that it ends the same as before, only this time we leave with the real rifle.”

  “I’m guessing ‘please’ won’t help?” I said through ground teeth, my head throbbing.

  “Buck, you just assassinated my lover,” Rosita said flatly. “So, no.” She tugged Luna in front of her, “but I give you my word. Hand over the weapon by your own free will and I will honor our bargain. The girl lives.”

  Luna sobbed. I was getting good at making the poor kid do that.

  “Fine,” I conceded. “But please.” I removed the silver watch Denise had given me for Christmas. “Give her this to remember me by.”

  The Mad Knight took the watch, examined it, then pitched it toward Rosita. With one hand on Luna, Rosita caught the watch awkwardly.

  “Sentimental nonsense,” she condemned, “but you have a deal.” She handed the watch to Luna, who moaned and sobbed even louder as she huddled over the timepiece. Rosita stared at Luna. I broke into song.

  “When the end comes I know.” I slung the rifle from my arm, locating the knife by my feet. “That I’m just a gigolo, life goes on without me.”

  I extended Old Lilith to The Mad Knight. He tugged, but I didn’t let go. The Mad Knight’s smile flipped upside-down.

  “Release the rifle, Buck,” Rosita barked.

  “I can’t,” I said in singsong.

  “Why?” Rosita sizzled.

  I smiled. “Because this is Luna’s verse.”

  Luna reeled around, her face covered in wolfish fur. Her eyes glistened green as a pair of sharp fangs protruded from drooled lips. The watch in her claws steamed. She grabbed Rosita’s clasped hand along her collar and flipped the bruja over her shoulder like a rag doll. Rosita gasped as she was flung over the edge, barely managing to grab onto the ledge at the last second before falling to her death. Several hag-children leapt on Luna, who swelled at an exponential rate. Muscles stretched and her height extended. Luna swatted them off her like flies, hurling them into the gaping hole.

  I didn’t hesitate. Ectoplasm fumed from my mouth. I ducked, grabbed the Mayan knife from the floor and plunged it into The Mad Knight’s knee cap. He gave a screaming laugh. I spun around and swept The Mad Knight off his feet with my hooked leg. He tried to hold on, but I used my leverage and a shoeless foot to his face to pry Old Lilith from his body. I backed off to get a better shot with Old Lilith just in time to watch Luna reach full size. She had grown two feet taller with fur-covered muscles. Her head now looked like a timber wolf. Luna ran her claws through another hag-child, splitting it in twine. I had to admit that I didn’t exactly think this through. I had no idea whether Luna might murder me next.

  A flash shimmered in my eyes. I aimed the rifle down at The Mad Knight, but he was gone. More and more hag-children crawled to the party. I put my eye back in the scope and aimed at Rosita, but one of her children gave her cover in an attempt to lift her from the ledge. I fired into the creature’s back. The creature fell, but Rosita’s painted skeleton fingers still gripped the cliff brim. Then from behind me, pistol fire started to clear the hag-children between us and Luna. Dillinger joined the fray, smattered in blood.

  From the surface, a high frequency pitch called out. My ears rang and I felt nauseous. I searched for the source and found that Selena and Ardicus had set up and deployed the LRAD device like planned. They pointed the sonic weapon down on the minions, causing the Sesame Street parade to hiss and double over. What was mildly discomforting for us caused severe disorientation in anything directly under Selena and Ardicus’ aim.

  Luna howled, but continued to smash heads. She ground meat with her claws until there were no moving hag-children left along the ledge. When she’d cleared them all, she huffed as she faced us. Her feet stomped heavily as she closed the distance. I held out my hand as if trying to tame a lion.

  “Luna,” I called out. “It’s Buck. We’re on your side, kid.”

  Luna sniffed at us and then dropped the silver watch smoking in her hand. She fell over, gripping her charred palm. Her fur retracted and her body shrunk until it was the Luna that I knew and loved. I watched as she curled into a near-nude ball and whimpered.

  “Keep an eye on her.” I pulled the final bullet into Old Lilith’s chamber. “The Mad Knight is still out there.” Dillinger removed his coat and crouched next to Luna, blanketing her.

  I approached the ledge where Rosita hung for dear life. I hadn’t noticed before, but her nose was busted, and her lip was swollen. Her broken fingers trembled as they held on to the wet cement. The sonic waves continued to shrill from above. I stuck the barrel inches from Rosita’s face.

  “I was arrogant, Buck,” Rosita admitted in her lifeless voice as if she weren’t hanging on a ledge for dear life. “I see that now.”

  “Well, pride before the fall.”

  “I’m guessing ‘please’ won’t help?”

  “Nope.”

  “Is there no chance of convincing you that I could still help?”

  “How?”

  “Buck, all I ever wanted was to retake Chicago. There are others that are plotting much more nefarious endeavors. I could assist Death in stopping them.”

  I thought about it. So many had died already. Maybe the comfort of having Luna back played a part, but I ignored the voice inside screaming for revenge. It was a good thing I did, because suddenly the sonic shrieks from above stopped. I glanced on top of the hole. Selena and Ardicus were fidgeting with the LRAD device, which was now smoking. I lowered the rifle.

  “Any funny stuff and you’re dead,” I cautioned.

  “Naturally, Buck.”

  “Call off your children.” I ordered before hesitantly extending a hand. Rosita reached out with her free arm. I couldn’t see her other hand pressed below the sill, but by the time I did, it was too late. She had a six-inch feathered pin dripping with an inky substance that she pricked through my glove into my palm. My body tensed up as my muscles began to lock. I struggled to lift the rifle. It weighed a thousand pounds. Sweat leaked from my heating forehead. Just as I raised the barrel to her face, my body fixed in an aimed position as if I were made of stone. Rosita smiled at the barrel in her face then tried to tug herself up.

  Buck, you should have killed this witch with a B a long time ago.

  A sounding pop and flash came from over my shoulder. The Mad Knight reached over my back with his arms, grabbed onto my hand, and forced me to pull the trigger. A blue flash caused a splash of gore to splatter on our faces. The Mad Knight kissed my cheek as he slid off me.

  “I told you I liked you, Danny Boy,” he whispered in my ear. There was a flare of lightning from above. I could feel static raise the hairs along my neck. Dillinger reached where I stood and studied me. His eyes fixated on the pin still in my hand and plucked it out. Ectoplasm steamed out of the hole. I could feel my numb body come to life.

  “You got her.” He patted me on my back. I could hardly turn my neck but managed to creak it toward him. I sucked up a spittle of drool covered in the corner of my lip.

  “I didn’t do it
.”

  “Who did?”

  “Didn’t you see—never mind.”

  I looked to the carnage beneath me. The hundreds of hag-children made it to their feet and stared at their dead mother. Like groves of ants, they kicked into a run. Hideous children in striped vintage swim costumes clamored a few floors under my feet, snarling while climbing up the first and second levels. Dillinger elbowed me and then hurried to Luna.

  “Make tracks,” he barked.

  I forced my stiff legs to move, tramping like a robot. Dillinger lifted Luna just as the hag- children reached our level, flinging her over his shoulder while horse collaring my coat and pulling me with him. We weren’t moving fast enough to lose the hoard filling up our entire balcony ring. Dillinger slung my back onto the nearby wall, handed me Thing One, and helped me point it forward. He stretched out Thing Two and pointed it out into the charging line of hag- children, his lips pursed.

  “This ain’t good, Abercrombie,” he stammered over the gargling hisses in front of us.

  “You think?”

  “Any regrets?”

  “Yeah, not killing you.”

  “Don’t worry too much,” he said while the front row of demon-kids fell into whispering distance. “I think they’ll do the job.”

  24

  A batting ram of rebar and concrete cleared the children three at a time. Adam and grasshopper leapt up to our level to save us. After several more swings of his makeshift fly swatter, he broke it into pieces on the back of a hag-boy in a monkey costume. The horn from Adam’s semi-truck blared above. Selena and Ardicus were now in the cab, smothered by hag-children scratching at the glass. They turned the wipers on and flashed the headlights in a panic.