If Fried Chicken Could Fly

by Paige Shelton

  His eyes pinched but not in pain, in thought. Finally he said, “No, I’ve been over my wife for a long time. I’m not over the fact that I couldn’t help create a successful marriage. I’ll take the ring off soon, just not yet.”

  “No kids, right?” I took a gulp of coffee.

  “No. Two golden retrievers, though. I miss them.”

  “More than you miss your ex-wife?” It was a nasty question.

  I was surprised when Cliff laughed. “Lots more, Betts, lots more. Do you want me to tell you about my marriage?”

  “No,” I said too quickly. Oh God, no! I wasn’t prepared to have that personal a conversation with him, though I was now warming to the thought that he wasn’t married. “Instead, tell me why you had coffee with Opie yesterday morning.”

  He looked genuinely surprised. “I didn’t…Oh, she was here the other morning when I was having breakfast. We said hi to each other, but we didn’t sit together or talk about my golden retrievers or anything. I didn’t tell her I was divorced.”

  Bunny brought us the burgers and we both dug in. It didn’t take long before almost all resentment from whatever each of us thought we needed to be resentful about began to dissipate. We weren’t back to our old selves, but that would be impossible anyway. Thankfully.

  We talked about family and what everyone was doing now. We talked about the upcoming cook-off. We talked about the wonderful job Jake had done with the archives and the Historical Society. We talked about how brave and amazing he’d been during the attack.

  Finally, the conversation came around to the shooting.

  “You’re okay, really?” Cliff asked.

  “I am. I’ve concluded that the shooter wasn’t seriously intent on harming Jake or me. I think he or she was just trying to scare us away.”

  “Scare you away from what, the treasure you and Jake talked about?”

  I used my fingertip to pick up a few crust crumbs on my plate. “Actually, more the Jasper,” I said.

  “Everett’s place of business? Why?”

  I shrugged. I couldn’t tell him the real reason. “Did you and Jim search it?”

  “Sure.”

  “What did you find?”

  “Nothing at all. In fact, we were talking about how important it is to get it open before the cook-off. There’ll be lots of people looking for something to do in the evenings very soon around here. We need to find someone to run it before the day after tomorrow.”

  “How would you feel about searching it again? Want to—unofficially, of course?”

  “Clearly you do. What’re you looking for?”

  I’d like to point out the blood on the roof, I thought. “Nothing, I just want to look around.”

  “I suppose one dinner isn’t going to make you trust that I can do this job.”

  “You’re a police officer, Cliff. I trust you to protect and serve. I even trust you to find Everett’s killer, unless you think it’s Gram. Then I don’t trust you as much. I’m just curious. Really.”

  “I don’t think Miz killed anyone. You know that don’t you?”

  “Not fully until this second, but I’m happy to hear it.”

  Cliff looked doubtful a moment. I thought I’d lost him, but then he said, “The theater isn’t a crime scene. Jim and I have already searched it. I have access to the keys. I suppose it wouldn’t be illegal, though I don’t think it’s a good decision.”

  “It’s not illegal,” I said.

  It wasn’t, technically. I was counting on our newfound friendliness toward each other to make him bend to my wish. Old times’ sake and stuff. And I really hoped the urge I felt to touch his hair would go away. I swallowed and silently told myself to shape up.

  “I suppose, but I don’t believe you’re just curious. Something to do with the treasure? If you find what you’re looking for, will you point it out to me?”

  “Sure,” I said. I’d planned on pointing out the blood, but I’d never admit that’s what I was looking for.

  “Let’s go.”

  “Really? Great.”

  As we stood and he dropped some bills on the table, his phone buzzed. He answered it and his face sobered quickly. “I’ll be right there.”

  “Change of plans, B,” he said. “I’m sorry. I have an urgent matter.”

  “Something to do with Everett’s murder?” I asked hopefully.

  “Dunno,” Cliff said unconvincingly. “Tomorrow midmorning, say, ten o’clock, I’ll meet you at the Jasper, okay?”

  “Sure, yeah. Great,” I said. I had the cook-off meeting tomorrow morning, but it wouldn’t take long and Teddy had already committed to teaching.

  Cliff left with a distracted wave. I sat down in the booth again and held the cup up for Bunny to refill.

  “Duty calls, right, honey?” Bunny said as she poured.

  I nodded.

  As Bunny walked away, another figure slid into the booth across from me.

  “Hello, Isabelle,” Jerome said.

  “Jerome,” I said quietly. No one was paying me a bit of attention. We could converse without hiding if I kept it quiet. “Anything new?”

  “I heard you talking to the young man. I’ll go with you into the Jasper tomorrow. I can point out the blood and the piece of paper and there’s something…well, there’s something else there. I keep looking around and it’s like I almost remember something but never quite do.”

  “Maybe it’s just because Everett owned it? Could you be—I don’t know—sensing him because he’s dead now, too?”

  “I don’t think that’s it. Maybe Everett purchased the Jasper because of me, something that had to do with me.”

  “Like what? The treasure?”

  “Maybe. I just don’t know, but I feel like I’m close to remembering.”

  I tried to think of something to push his memory. “Did you work there? Did you own it?”

  “I don’t think so. That sounds like too big a commitment for the fella I was. I was a loner, that much I’m pretty certain of.”

  “You left Boston because you thought you would be convicted of murder. Do you remember that?”

  “I remember Miz telling me about it one time.”

  “Did you know you were cleared?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I was cleared?”

  “Yes, totally. I don’t have the details but if we round up the stuff that was taken from Jake, I bet I can tell you exactly what happened.”

  “What happened to that fella, Jake?”

  I told him about the attack and Jake’s insistence that he’d be fine at his own home.

  “What about you, Isabelle?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Where will you stay tonight? You should stay with your parents or your brother. Or even stay with Jake.”

  “I’m not concerned.”

  “You were shot at, too. Perhaps you should remember that.”

  I ignored his comment as something else occurred to me. “Oh! Jerome!” I said. “Go to Cliff. Go see what he’s doing. You could spy on him. He might be doing something that has to do with the murder.”

  “Where did he go?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Jerome laughed. “It doesn’t work that way, Isabelle. I can’t just wish my way to someone. I have to have a destination, a place not a person, in mind.”

  “I should have had you follow him. Shoot.”

  “I bet he’ll give you more details tomorrow. Come on, let’s go to your house. I’m not much protection, but you can hear me, so if someone tries anything I can at least wake you up.”

  “You’re staying at my house?”

  “Unless you go to your parents’ or your brother’s.”

  Like Jake, I didn’t want to go anywhere but my own home. I shrugged and said, “Come on, then. When I was a kid, we used to try to summon ghosts at slumber parties, but this will be the real deal.”

  “I remember when you did that,” Jerome said.

  “Uh, you do?”


  Jerome laughed. “No, I’m pulling your leg, but the look on your face was worth it.”

  A ghost with a bad memory and a slightly twisted sense of humor. Lucky me.

  CHAPTER 14

  I wasn’t used to much company at night. I thought it would be strange to have Jerome in the house, but by the time we got there I was so exhausted I fell into bed and into one of the deepest sleeps I’d ever experienced. Having a watch-ghost made me relax completely. If someone tried to break in or anything else suspicious occurred, Jerome would wake me and I would call 911.

  I slept like the dead while the dead watched over me.

  I woke extra-early the next morning, right before 6:00 A.M., refreshed and more than ready for whatever the day had in store. The cook-off and opening of the tourist season was only a day away and suddenly the excitement of the coming events overshadowed everything else.

  Jerome said that no one attempted to disturb me or the house. This only added to my positive attitude. My car was still at the school, so we took Gram’s Volvo and parked it just as the sun was coming up. Teddy’s truck was there, parked in a different spot than the day before, so I knew he’d left for at least a little while.

  The mess had been cleaned up. Other than two missing ceiling tiles, a small amount of leftover stink, and a slightly darkened worktable and stove, no one would know the school had recently seen a fire.

  But more impressive than the cleanup of the school was the cleanup of my brother.

  “Sis, you’re here,” he said as he entered the kitchen through the far doors.

  “Teddy?” I said. His hair was brushed, his face was shaved, he wore pants that weren’t made of denim, and his shirt actually had a collar. “Is that you?”

  “Who else would it be?”

  “You look so…so put together.”

  “Well, I’ll be tethered. He sure does,” Jerome added.

  If I hadn’t known that he wasn’t prone to blushing, I would have sworn Teddy’s cheeks got pink.

  “If I’m going to teach, I have to command respect, don’t I?”

  “Yes.” I wanted to tell him he’d done a good job and I was proud of him, but there was no surer way to get him to do the opposite of what I wanted him to do.

  “Why are you here so early?” Teddy asked.

  “Judges’ meeting. Before school for Amy and hopefully not interrupting everyone else’s work. Hey, Teddy, has Jim or Cliff been out here this morning?”

  “No.”

  I looked at my watch. The judges would be arriving soon. I only had a few minutes. “I’ll be right back in.”

  “No hurry.”

  I wondered if the coin had been removed yet. Had Cliff forgotten to tell Jim?

  “It’s still there,” I said as Jerome and I looked at his tombstone again. “I thought Cliff was going to tell Jim.”

  “Call him. He had the emergency. Maybe he forgot.”

  I didn’t have Cliff’s number, but I knew the number to the jail. Jim answered on the first ring.

  “Betts, everything okay?” he said. Caller ID still frequently caught me off guard.

  “Fine, fine,” I said. “Jim, did Cliff…I mean, there’s a coin…”

  “Yes, on the tombstone. Cliff told me last night. We were busy. I’ll be out at the school today. Do you know if the coin is still there?”

  “Yes, I’m looking at it.”

  “Good. I’ll be out.”

  “Thanks.” I hung up the phone.

  “Hey, what’s going on, Betts? Why are you out there?” a voice said from the parking lot.

  Miles Street and Jenna Hopper were standing next to Gram’s Volvo.

  “That’s the pool hall owner, right? And the woman who works in the ice-cream saloon?” Jerome asked.

  “Yes, they’re both here for the judges’ meeting,” I said without moving my lips too much.

  “What’re you doing, Betts?” Jenna added her own question.

  Jenna was pretty in a slightly rough way. She didn’t look completely rode hard and put away wet, just damp maybe. Her blond hair was almost not too blond, and her eye makeup was almost not too thick. She’d done a good job of keeping Teddy’s liquor consumption under control, so I liked her.

  “Just going for a walk,” I said.

  “Through the cemetery?” Miles asked.

  “Yes.”

  Jerome laughed.

  Miles and Jenna climbed over the low rope and trudged their way toward me.

  “Jerome Cowbender. Wasn’t he the bank robber who couldn’t land a bullet anywhere in the general vicinity of his target?” Miles said.

  “That’s me,” Jerome said.

  “I think so, yes. Do you know anything else about him?” I said.

  “Not much.” Miles shook his head.

  “There are so many great characters from Broken Rope’s past,” Jenna began. “I don’t know a lot about him, but he was one of the interesting ones. He was so handsome!”

  Jerome might have been a ghost, but he still knew how to puff up at a female’s compliment. He tipped his hat and said, “Thank you kindly, miss.”

  I tried not to roll my eyes.

  “What’s that?” Miles said as he crouched and pointed.

  We all, including Jerome, joined him and looked at the side of the tombstone. At first I didn’t see anything unusual, but Miles reached for what looked like a rut in the stone, something naturally made and not out of place or unusual. But when he pushed on it with his thumb, a piece of the stone fell to the ground and revealed a hole.

  “I’ll be,” Jerome said from behind me.

  “What’s in there?” Jenna asked.

  The only person who was at a good angle to see anything was Miles so he moved closer and said, “Coins maybe?” He reached for the hole but I grabbed his hand.

  “Stop, Miles.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, there was a murder here yesterday and this is weird. Don’t you think?” I said.

  “How would one thing have something to do with the other?” Miles asked.

  “I dunno. I just think we should let Jim know before we touch anything.”

  “Okay.” Miles hesitated, but then pulled his hand back.

  I leaned forward and twisted my neck just enough to look into the cubbyhole. It was only a few inches deep and the diameter of a Ping-Pong ball. There were coins inside. They looked exactly like the gold one that was still on the top of the tombstone—the one that Miles and Jenna hadn’t noticed. Yet.

  But there was something else, too: a small piece of paper mostly hidden underneath one of the coins and dingy enough to stand out against the shiny bright of the gold. I didn’t mention that I saw it. No one else said a word about it either, including Jerome, but I wasn’t sure if they saw it.

  Two cars pulled into the parking lot. Stuart and Mabel and Amy were arriving. It was time for the meeting and I didn’t want the crowd in the cemetery growing.

  “Miles, my brother, Teddy, is inside. Would you run in and ask him to come out here, please? Thanks. And Jenna, would you mind greeting the others and grabbing some treats out of a fridge? I’ll be right in after I talk to Teddy.”

  Hesitantly, they both did as I asked. Gold coins in a secret hole in a tombstone were much more interesting than setting up for a meeting.

  “You see that piece of paper, Jerome?” I asked without moving my lips. I acted casual.

  “I do. Can you get it?”

  “I’ll try.” Miles was already inside. As Jenna directed Mabel and Amy through the front door, I crouched again. “Tell me when you see Teddy.”

  My finger could fit easily into the hole, but I didn’t want to get my prints on any of the coins. I used one of my short but just long enough fingernails to flip at the corner of the piece of paper.

  I didn’t ever call myself “almost a lawyer.” I used that title for those who had finished law school and were either preparing to take the bar exam or were waiting for their results. A dropout is n
othing more than a dropout, plain and simple. But I’d had enough schooling to know I was tampering with things I shouldn’t be tampering with. I didn’t even need school to know that much. I could have learned that from TV. I should leave everything exactly as we found it.

  But I couldn’t. I needed some answers and something told me there might be at least something on the piece of paper that would help. Gram wasn’t talking, and the ghost that I’d become acquainted with had memory issues and couldn’t get into the one place where he could further discuss things with Gram. I doubted that Gram had anything to do with Everett’s death, but if she did, I wanted to either be aware of the facts or find a way to help hide the crime.

  It was probably a good thing I’d dropped out. At least I wasn’t risking being disbarred.

  My nail tipped the corner of the paper but didn’t make it any easier to get a hold of. I didn’t have enough time to be as careful as I wanted to be. I turned my finger upside down so that any fingerprints I might leave wouldn’t be on the coins but the top part of the hole. Without being able to see my own maneuverings, I pushed at the coins with my nail and the very tip of my finger and exposed what I thought was the paper. I used my nail again to try to lift it up.

  “Teddy’s out the door,” Jerome said.

  Teddy could see me crouching, but he wouldn’t be able to tell what I was doing until he was a good ten feet into the cemetery.

  I could still lift a corner but it felt as though it was stuck.

  “He’s stepping over the rope,” Jerome said.

  I had two choices. I could abandon the mission or I could turn my finger over, put pressure on the piece of paper, and try to scoop it out that way.

  I chose the riskier method. There was a chance I’d get a print on one of the coins but I’d have to deal with that later.

  The paper was stuck, as though it had gotten wet and dried to the stone.

  “Isabelle, finish it up,” Jerome said.

  I pushed with lots of pressure and then pulled. The paper broke free and came out with my finger. And fell to the ground.

  “What’s up?” Teddy said as he came up behind me.

  I stayed in the crouch but moved my knee over the paper.

  “Look.” I pointed to the hole.