Fangs Rule

by Amy Mah

  Published by

  REARDON PUBLISHING

  PO Box 919, Cheltenham, GL50 9AN. England

  Website: www.reardon.co.uk

  Email: Reardon@bigfoot.com

  Tel: 01242 231800

  Copyright © 2011

  Reardon Publishing

  Written by

  Amy Mah

  Amy’s Website: FangsRule.com

  Amy’s Blog: http://amymahvampire.blogspot.com

  This can also be purchased as a real book

  ISBN (13) 9781874192480

  Manga Artwork by Heby Sim

  eBook conversion by M-Y Books

  My name is Amy. .........er..... OK, my full Vampire name is: Lady Amelia, Mistress of the Night Mare, and Alpha Female from the Family of the Pink Bat. Yes... that is why I prefer to shorten it to Amy Mah (Vampire).

  I should point out that I'm a full blood born Vampire not some cold blooded undead turnling. But I grew up in the human world - raised by humans - until I was discovered and adopted into the Pink Bat Family. Being a Vampire in the human world was very difficult. No-one had ever told me how a Vampire should act. Everyone just thought I was a teenage girl with strange dietary needs, anaemic or something, and I rattled from the number of iron tablets I took every day.

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  What I should do? How I should act? I knew I needed blood but didn't know how to get it, and all the knowledge I had on Vampirism was from human books and films telling all kinds of stuff about Vampires that was just stupid. Like telling me I could change into a bat - I know that's not true because I tried it. And believe me when I say it is not cool to be discovered at school flapping your arms up and down trying to fly, those sort of events kinda follow you about!

  So when living with humans I started writing my own little A - Z in my journal, recording what it's like being a teenage Vampire and putting right all the strange stories that are so not true. I know that a lot of it will be very obvious to you if you know anything about real Vampires, but I started it when I knew nothing at all. Even when I joined the Nest I started out being the lowest of the low, with very little knowledge and a rank below that of a cat. Er …… I think the cats probably still outrank me!

  As I said, it's just my scribbling but I hope you find it helpful, or at least amusing.

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  Amy Mah (Vampire)

  A

  ABOMINATION

  This is a swear word used to insult another Vampire, and can mean they have two heads or are wearing odd coloured socks. With the fashion police you're more likely to be killed for wearing odd coloured socks than for having two heads.

  AGE

  Vampires can look any age that's younger than their real age, so most go about looking between 20 and 40. You can also stick at an age and not change for years, or powerful older Vampires (like your parents) can slow down your ageing. No, I don't know how. Being a teenage girl is bad enough but being stuck as one for years and years is so not fair. OK, I get older, but I'm still a teenager. I look like a teenager and I act like a teenager, I feel like a teenager, year after year after frigging year! Sorry, I'm getting carried away, but I've had enough of teenage hormones.

  ALPHA

  Top Vamps, usually oldest family, best teeth in the Nest, and stronger with sharper bites. Er … they rule the place.

  Unless you are of high birth you start off as a Beta, if you think you deserve to be an Alpha then you can ask the Council to test you. If they agree then they'll raise your status, otherwise they might just kill you for wasting their time.

  Alpha Males get involved in the running of the place, by which I mean all the important stuff like the external businesses, controlling the pets (not just the sex sort) that work for us, and the political stance of the Nest when dealing with outer Nests.

  Alpha Females run the unimportant stuff to do with the Nest, like, everything that's not to do with politics and business. Not that we do the actual work, the maids do that, (FAMULA turned human girls the undead vampire that humans think we all are) but we have life of death control of them and they look to us for instruction. They would have originally been very close to Male Vampires (ex-sex pets) but soon learn to take orders from the Females. Knowing that a Male could kill you is fine but as my Aunt says a Female in power can make you wish you were dead.

  If the council upgrades your status to an Alpha Female then you have your family brand upgraded by having a circle of gold burnt into the skin around the family brand. Alpha Females have both benefits and disadvantages in life. They have more freedom and more rights than a normal Beta: as a Alpha girl you may not be a Vampire Queen but you can at times get away acting like a spoilt princess. The major disadvantage is that you are prime breeding stock for the greater glory of the Nest, so young Alpha Females sometimes run off and become Renegades if they do not wish to have a family too soon in life.

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  BASE

  When dating it is handy to know the code words of what you are doing with each other. Believe it or not others have also done it, and have even numbered it! So what at is 1st 2nd 3rd 4th and 5th base?

  First Base:

  OK, this is the one we normally call making out, and unless you are on heat it stops at kissing, hugging and generally grabbing at each other. At this stage you can bite a boy but he is not allowed to bite you back.

  Second Base:

  Letting a boy feel you above the waist - you know where I mean. For some reason boys are fascinated with boobs, and with plastic surgery so easily available nowadays I don't see why they don't get their own, Something to remember at this stage in a relationship is the golden rule that the only person allowed to touch your boobs with cold hands is a doctor. If a boy forgets this golden rule and laughs as you leap in the air with the first stages of frost bite, you are fully entitled to ban him from touching them or other parts of your body until he learns the error of a misplaced laugh. It is a good idea to also threaten to give him a very painful bite in a place where he can't show his friends.

  Third Base:

  This is when you let a boy bite you and you can both suck each other's blood - just don't let your parents find out (carry a packet of tissues to wipe away the blood stains).

  Fourth Base:

  Home run (er… raising one's tail)

  Fifth Base:

  Doing all of the above when on heat, this is called running the bases, it is also called getting pregnant and discovering that you have not just raised your tail and instantly got pregnant! But, due to a bonding contract signed years ago by your parents, you now have a life time Mate!

  This can also come as a pleasant surprise to the boy who will be so happy he will wish to leave the Nest as fast as he can to celebrate. He is generally so overcome with excitement that some of your Male relatives may have to knock him unconscious and drag him to a quiet room where they can show him the contract and gently explain to him his new role as a loving mate and father, and also point out how lucky he is to have them protect him from various painful accidents that could so easily happen to him if he did not quickly become a relative.

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  BAT

  We like Bats (apart from their toilet habits) and you will notice we have lots of bat like symbols connected to us but I think that this is partly due to the lack of other cave animals. True, we have some very interesting fungus, but having a sickly green and orange splodge of colour as a logo looks like a designer just vomited his lunch up on the design and pretended it was done on purpose.

  BITE

  Urges to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal. Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink during the f
ight.

  Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs, but apart from the daft rules of not showing them in public because it is rude, don't be shy, they can be a girl's greatest asset. OK, second greatest asset. If someone is being rude to you, don't snarl at them just bite them! You are a Vampire... why do you think you have sharp teeth and powerful jaws if not for sinking your teeth into someone?

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  BITE (Where to bite)

  Humans seem to think we always bite them on the neck, whereas it doesn't matter as they are just bags of blood.

  Neck Bite: We bite other Vampires on the neck to show superiority but for humans it was due to fashion! In the past a human girl was covered from neck to toe in clothing, boots, thick dresses, corsets and underwear that only a couple of maids and a can opener could get her out of. That meant only the neck was left available. The Neck Bite was also very useful on the dance floor with slow music and a long smooch which turned into a long drink.

  Wrist Bite: The most common place to bite and be bitten.

  Inner Thigh Bite: This is very good but hard to do without the human girl noticing. True, we have some very progressive dances, but for a Male Vampire to stick his head up a human girl's skirt on the dance floor is just asking for trouble, if not a lot of attention. Or, if tried in error on an unwilling Vampire girl, then it could lead to sudden death.

  BOYS

  Dumb, stupid, rude, smelly, insensitive, uncaring, unfeeling. Need I say more?

  BOYFRIENDS (see DATING)

  Boyfriends are boys that are not friends. Handsome, charming, caring, strong, sweet, cute, hot, fit... Er ………… the difference is obvious. If not then you are still too young for a boyfriend and should stick with your stuffed bats.

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  Er ..... My Aunt thinks My boyfriend Max is a good catch due to his Dad where as I think he is cute.

  Meeting the boyfriend's parents for the first time is a problem, like what to wear and how to act. It's best to have some simple rules to follow.

  1. Don't talk about boys you have bitten or have bitten you in the past.

  2. Don't tell risky stories like the first time you came on heat and what you tried to do with the head of the council until guards pulled you off him and forced you to give back his pants.

  3. Don't offer to raise your dress to show them your family brand at the dinner table.

  4. Don't comment on the food, ever. Even if it is still alive and you have to catch it before it runs off, if you have to say anything just point out how you enjoy frisky fresh food.

  5. Lastly, no matter how weird, strange, odd, peculiar and down right creepy his parents are or act, try very hard not to point his out to him.

  Reasons:

  A: Strangely he has somehow failed to notice.

  B: Or, he has noticed and is praying hard that you haven't.

  C: Remember what your own are like.

  BLOOD

  Wow, yes, blood. The taste, the feel and the pleasure of it... wowwwwww. (Sorry, getting a bit carried away again.) Humans always think it is disgusting how we can like blood so much knowing where it comes from, well, all I have to say is that they eat eggs knowing where they come from. And as to milk, well it's just perverted to enjoy milk unless you're a baby.

  Forget the human movies about bathing in the blood of virgin teenage girls to keep young, it's rubbish - and besides, just where do you find virgin human teenagers now? And, like, are you going to ask them personal questions about their love life before you add them as a bath salt? I think not.

  Next the idea of filling a swimming pool full of blood is also only something for the movies.

  1. You will need to kill off a small city to get that amount of blood.

  2. Blood is too sticky to swim in.

  3. It would start to congeal and change colour before it's half full, and form a skin on the surface that you could bounce off.

  BLOODING

  I can give it another name, and that is Dad and Daughter bonding, in the form of hunting trips. This is when quality time can be spent with your Dad, no longer is he the old fashion monster of a Male that storms into your bedroom without knocking while you're changing and demanding that you apologize to your Mother for something that she is shouting at him about.

  I personally have my Uncle take me out on these trips and apart from the boring bits where he tries to teach me patience when watching the prey, they are fantastic fun. We get to run across rooftops together and generally both act as overgrown kids, and at the end of the night I've always built up a incredible appetite. We then finish off with a filling meal that my uncle has picked out for me.

  u

  BLOOD GROUP

  As you know there are more than 200 minor human blood groups, but most people stick with just the common ones: A, B, AB, and O.

  We all get to know which blood groups we like and which we don't - but remember they can be mixed for more interesting tastes, or better still mixed with chocolate.

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  BLOOD FOR HEALTH

  I know we can all go on crazy diets at times. When living with humans I lived off animal blood but it was not good for me and I was weak, anaemic and generally ill most of the time. Good Blood means good health! If vegetarian Vampires ever existed they have long ago become extinct.

  Blood is always available in little snack packs supplied to the Nest from our own blood banks, where we offer a good price for blood (and sell on any excess to the human hospitals). But bagged blood isn't like the real thing served warm from a neck - it just tastes so much better fresh.

  Fake Blood. Yes, it does exist, coloured red and full of iron and vitamins. It has a long shelf life and is handy when travelling to places where there is a shortage of prey, or when you need to stay hidden for a long time. I have tasted some for research purposes and I can sum it up in one word: CRAP.

  BLOOD (LACK OF)

  Of all the ways to die, everyone forgets the obvious and that is lack of blood. Whether leaking from a wound or just plain hunger, this is the major reason to carry a snack pack of some kind with you. Along with the normal girly things in your bag, remember to have a pack of blood in case you get the munchies.

  BLOOD LUST

  Some Vampires can get a little carried away when they are fighting and kinda lose control. A pile of dead bodies is normally a strong hint that someone is not in a social mood.

  BLOOD MEMORY

  Our blood holds a memory of when we first evolved. Our nature was a bit cat-like, Females had a hunting area to feed and breed which they protected from other Females with fang and claw, while Male Vampires controlled a very large hunting area that covered the areas of six or more Females. They would protect the Females and kill any other Male daring to enter the area - or be killed himself, and his area taken over by the new dominant Male. All this meant the Females only ever met the best and strongest of Males to mate with. Being so long-lived a species nature made conceiving difficult, and so mate they did when ever the Male visited... which I expect was a line the Males told the Females to get sex, as we all know you can't get pregnant unless you're on heat.

  BRA (an item of torture in Female clothing)

  Breaking in a new bra! A bra should be comfortable the instant you put it on, it is not like a horse you should not need to break it in… heck it not that I have that much to go in it!

  First time on and I normally get a spot where the strap digs in at the back… and it hurts…. Why the heck get a spot there? ……The first person to say hormones, I will bite them! …ok!

  Also comments like you need some sunshine will get a similar response: I am a vampire… Sun bathing is not one of our normal activities … Ok?

  BRANDS

  OK, I know it is a bit personal, but we all have one because we are Female. Yes, they may look slightly different in shape and we keep them hidden under our panties, but they all do the same thing and that is to say we are Female and can breed.

  The family brand is located on either your lef
t or right hip and tells the world you are a girl, and what family owns you, and what rank you are in the Nest.

  Family brands can be so tacky looking - mine looks like a pink bat, which must be one of the worst. Like, who would come up with having a bat as a secret family sign? And what's so secret about a family sign when your Aunt buys you a jumper designed with a large pink bat across your chest...?

  As to being secret, everyone knows us as the Pink Bat Family! I have pink bat earrings, I even have little pink bats on my underwear! What does my Aunt think I am, Five?! She says it is an honor to have bats on them but I know it's my honor she's thinking about, as I would just die of shame if a boy were to ever see them.

  The additional Alpha Brand can only be placed by agreement from the Council, and is a circle of gold burnt into your skin around your family brand. It hurts like heck when you are branded, it's meant to be an honor but you just feel like a branded cow until it stops hurting!

  BREEDING CONTRACTS (see HEAT)

  OK, I see the logic for breeding contracts for family purity, but not when they are imposed on a Female, or for that matter a Male. Unknown to young Alpha Males and Females the Council along with the young Alphas' parents will have had contracts signed saying with whom their children will breed with.