by Erin Osborne
Chapter Three
Caydence
Three years later
I’VE BEEN IN COUNSELLING for years now. There’s been a few times that I’ve quit going and stopped taking my medicine. These times did not turn out good. I started lying in bed all the time, not hanging out with my friends even when I got out of bed, I was back to pushing everyone away again, and I have lost myself in my own head. The only thing I thought about was the baby that we lost, and I’d spend days in our bed doing nothing but crying. I couldn’t eat, drink, or do much of anything.
Irish has been by my side through everything. Once he got patched in, it wasn’t long after that he made me his old lady. It was the happiest day of my life and the closest I’ll ever get to being his wife. I’ll take it. I honestly couldn’t ask for a better man to be sharing my life with. The only problem I have is the hell I’ve put him through. He’s taken it all on though and I think we’ve gotten stronger as the years have come and gone.
Today, I’m actually going to a job interview. It’s not much, just bartending a few days a week, but my counselor thinks I need to get out of the room more. Right now, I spend my days taking care of the room I share with Irish and helping out with anything that needs to be done around the clubhouse. It’s good to get out and do things. Especially when I’m having a bad day because it helps get my mind off things.
I know that Irish isn’t going to like where my interview is, but right now, he doesn’t have a choice in the matter. I’ve been depending on him for far too long, and it’s time that I make a change and start helping him support us. So, I’m going to interview at the strip club as a bartender. I won’t be stripping, and I know the guys will make sure I’m as protected as the rest of the girls working there. Hell, they’ll probably be worse with me because I am an old lady to one of the members of the club.
Glock is the one that manages the club, so I’m not sure if Irish has heard that I’m interviewing there yet or not. If he has, I won’t be surprised to walk in and see him standing there. If he hasn’t, I know it’s only a matter of time before he does find out. For now, I’m going to take my chances and hope I get the job so that I can help cover the bills. Irish makes more than enough money, but I don’t feel like I’m pulling my weight. I haven’t been for a long time and I need to do something here to feel worthy.
Pulling into the strip club’s parking lot, I see my man’s bike sitting there so I know that Glock told him. I’m not going to fight and argue with him. He’s either going to see my point, or he’s not. I will be working one way or another though, so he should just support me in this decision. It’s not like we haven’t talked about me working, we just never discussed the strip club before.
“Hey baby,” I hear as soon as I walk in the door. “Thought I’d sit through your interview.”
“No.”
“What do you mean ‘no’?” Irish asks me.
“I’m doing this on my own. We’ve talked about me working and I’m going to work. I know you probably don’t want me working here, but it is what it is.”
“I don’t have a problem with it as long as you’re not strippin’. No one will see what belongs to me and that’s that.”
“I love you babe,” I tell him, walking back towards the office.
“Love you too.”
Honestly, I should’ve known that he wasn’t going to fight me on this. Irish pretty much lets me do what I want to do, as long as I’m safe and don’t end up naked. I am surprised though, because of how I got when I was trying to push him away. No, I never cheated on him, but I allowed other guys to dance with me and get closer than they should have. Irish made them disappear from my vicinity and then we moved on. I’ve only done that once or twice and I know it hurt him. It hurt me to do it. I just couldn’t think of any other way to push him away.
It’s been a few days since my interview at Wild Times, the clubs’ strip club. I got the job and it’s been amazing. Because I’m just starting out, I only work three nights a week and two of those nights are slow, so I can get used to bartending. I’ve also already been called in on a day off because one of the girls can’t seem to get her shit straight. Glock is a good guy to work for, he’s fair but harsh when he needs to be.
Irish is trying his hardest to stay away from the club on the nights that he knows I’m working. He doesn’t really hang out there, but there are times that members of the club are needed. One night a few of them came in because one of the girls was being harassed. They were hoping that their presence would make the guy back off, but it didn’t. If anything, it made him try even harder to get the girl to fuck him. I guess he wanted to prove something to the guys. The only thing he succeeded in was getting kicked out, an ass whoopin’, and told never to return to the club again.
There are a few guys that don’t belong to the club that act as bouncers on the busy nights I guess. I have yet to meet them, but Glock and Irish have told me to stay away from the one named Greg. He doesn’t care if a female is taken or single, if he decides they’re good enough for him to fuck he’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. I guess that’s why I’ve been told that I need to wear my rag whenever I’m working. No one else would be allowed to wear anything but what Glock says we can, and I truly don’t want to be treated any different. But, I needed to do what my man and Glock say to protect them and myself.
“You gotta work tonight?” Irish asks me, sittin on the edge of the bed while I brush my hair.
“Yeah. I’m just finishing up. Why?”
“Tonight’s gonna be busy. I’ll be there.”
“Why are you gonna be there?” I ask confused.
“Grim wants all hands on deck tonight. There’s a party comin’ in on top of all the regular customers. Greg and the rest of the bouncers will be there too.”
“Damn!”
“Yeah. I won’t pay any special attention to you, I just wanted to make sure you knew I was gonna be there. I think the plan is to put Cage at one end of the bar and Tank at the other. Anythin’ happens, you get one of them immediately.”
“Okay babe. I’ll be fine.”
“Kind of like you were fine the other night when Poncho tried to grab your tits and smack your ass?”
“He was drunk and didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. He’s never done anything like that and the next night he apologized.”
“Don’t matter. He saw the rag and still touched what belongs to me. Not gonna happen again.”
“It won’t babe. Leave Poncho alone.”
Irish doesn’t say another word. He just gets up and heads out of the room. I’m honestly not trying to upset him this time. Or push him away. Poncho was having a bad day and got a little too drunk. If one of us girls got a little too close to him, he tried to play grab ass. Honestly, he’s about the only guy in there that I’m not afraid of. Poncho is an older man closer in age to Pops. He’s the sweetest guy that comes in and he always tips well. I don’t even think he comes in to watch the girls strip. I think it’s just a place he’s comfortable enough to drink a few drinks and unwind after a long day.
Putting the finishing touches on, I make my way into the kitchen and see my man leaning against the counter with his head hanging down. I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. I rest as much of my body against him as I possibly can and soak in his strength. Before he can move, I maneuver myself so I’m in front of him and lean up to kiss him. This is what I miss about the time we do get to spend with one another. We don’t get much of it these days between my job and club business.
“Take me to work on the bike?” I ask.
“Absolutely baby. I’m sorry, I just don’t like knowin’ someone else put their hands on you.”
“I know babe. Poncho was having a bad day and I know it won’t happen again by him.”
“I know. Glock already talked to him and he apologized to him several times. I just get taken back to when you were tryin’ to push me away I guess.”
“Baby, I’m
done with that. I need you in my life. I need our entire family in my life. But, you’re the one that centers me and gives me what I need the most; unconditional love and support.”
“But, you need to let me in more than what you do baby. I can’t keep tryin’ to guess what’s goin’ on with you, with us. I know you’re still doin’ what you gotta do with your counselling and shit, but I don’t know how any of it goes. Or how you’re truly doin’. I know you want to protect me from what’s goin’ on, but that’s not what I need. I need to be let in and not have our lives kept separate.”
“I’m not trying to do that. How about you come to one of my appointments with me? That way you can see what I talk about and see for yourself how I’m doing.”
“You don’t have to go that far babe.”
“I want to. Because you won’t let me in either. I know you’re feeling shit and you won’t tell me what it is. We’ve never talked about losing the baby. Even though we already knew it was going to happen. I don’t know if we ever truly mourned our loss.”
“Okay. You let me know when you want me to go with you and I’ll let Grim know.”
We make our way out to the bike and I climb on behind Irish. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve been on it and I can’t wait to feel the wind in my hair and on my face. One of these days, we need to take a long ride like we used to. Somewhere just the two of us go, where we spend the entire day together not really doing anything but riding. The only time we stop is for a meal, gas, and pee breaks.
We’re finally done cleaning up from the party at the club and I’m more than ready to go home. I want to shower and wash the night away and climb into bed with Irish. Tonight wasn’t only busy, it was fucking insane. There were a bunch of fights over girls while they were stripping. Poor Hannah got taken off the stage after a beer bottle hit her upside the head. She got the rest of the night off while she rested in the office after getting cleaned up.
“You ready to head out?” I ask Irish.
“Not yet. We need to go over some stuff. Can you catch a ride with one of the prospects?”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess. I’ll see ya when I see ya.”
“Hey, I love you babe and I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
“It is what it is.”
Heading outside, I look for a prospect. There’s one standing by the building finishing a cigarette so I make my way over to him. I think this one is brand new considering I’ve never really seen him around the club. As I get closer, I get a sense that he’s not right. There’s something menacing about him and I think I should find a different way home. Walking would be better than riding with him. He’s the first person that I’ve gotten the creeps from just by walking closer to them.
I make it look like I’m looking for someone so he doesn’t think I was walking towards him and head around the back of the building. At the back corner of the building I see another prospect standing there. This one is not new, and I know him. His name is Blane and I walk just a little bit faster towards him.
“Blane, can you give me a lift home?” I call out as soon as I get a little closer.
“Yeah. Irish got to stay a while?” he asks, turning towards me.
“Yeah. He wanted me to find you and see if you could take me home.”
“Not a problem hun.”
We head to his truck and I’m glad to see he doesn’t have his bike. There’s no way I’d be riding on the back of it. He’s not my man and that would be one of the most disrespectful things I could do to Irish. His bike is the only one I get on, the only one I belong on.
“You goin’ home or the clubhouse?” Blane asks, starting the truck.
“Clubhouse.”
Instead of trying to make small talk, I use the time to think. Now it seems like Irish is pushing me away. If I let myself truly think about it, it’s almost as if he’s seeing someone else with the little amount of time we spend together. But, he’s been busy with club business, and I’m not sitting at home anymore. So maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. I hope that’s it anyway.
Or maybe Irish is finally deciding whether or not he wants to truly be with me. Just because he’s not cheating on me, doesn’t mean that he’s not deciding to cut ties and leave me. To some men, not too many in the Wild Kings MC, making someone an old lady doesn’t necessarily mean it’s forever. It’s supposed to mean that the two people are tied to one another for life. It’s deeper than getting married because once you become an old lady it’s for life. I never thought Irish would be one of the men that don’t take it seriously, but I honestly don’t know anymore.
It’s really early in the morning by the time that Irish gets to the clubhouse. I’m not sure what he had to do that would’ve kept him out all night like that, but it was hopefully something club related. I can tell that he’s trying to sneak in so he doesn’t wake me up and I’m debating whether or not to let him know. He should know that it’s hard for me to sleep when he’s not here though.
“Where have you been babe?” I ask him.
“Club business.”
“Oh. Well, I’ve missed you.”
“You too.”
Without saying another word, Irish heads into the bathroom to take a shower. This is just getting out of control now. There’s never been a point in time where he didn’t talk to me, or barely talk to me. It’s time I find out what the fuck is going on. So, I get up and walk into the bathroom.
“We need to talk,” I say.
“What’s goin’ on?”
“That’s what I’d like to know. You’re pulling away like I do sometimes. I just want to know what’s going on. What I did wrong.”
“I don’t know. I guess in a way I’m protectin’ myself for when you do it again. I don’t want to go through this again with you baby.”
“We’ve talked about this babe. I’m not gonna stop going to counselling again and I’m going to continue taking my medicine. I won’t be pulling away again.”
“I know we’ve talked about it. I’ve just been throwin’ myself into club business. We have a lot to do because the club is thinkin’ about movin’ to a new location. They don’t want to be here anymore,” he tells me.
“I heard there’s been talk about it. How soon are you guys thinking of making the move?”
“I don’t know. It could still be some time yet. We have a lot of plans to make and locations left to scout.”
“So, that means you’re going to be leaving more and more?”
“I don’t know who they’re gonna have go to the different places yet. I know there’s been talk about a town not far from where Gage went. One of them might be able to scout the location for us and give us the information we need.”
“Oh.”
“Well, are you gonna get in here with me or what?” Irish asks, making room in our shower for me to get in with him.
There’s no reason to answer. I quickly strip out of my cami and boy shorts. My hair is already up, and I leave it that way. Irish opens the door for me and I step in, directly under the warm spray of the water. Irish pulls me in close and leans down to kiss me. The kiss is deep and all consuming. I wind my arms up around his neck and dig the fingers of one hand into his hair. I love running my fingers through his hair whenever I get the chance to do it.
“Hop up baby,” Irish says.
I hop up and wrap my legs around his waist. Our shower is big but not big enough to really maneuver too many ways to have fun. When it comes to being with my man, I’ll take him how I can get it, when I can get it. It’s just that good all the time with him.
Irish reaches down between us and slides his fingers through my folds. He inserts two in me and pumps them in and out to make sure that I’m ready for him. He pushes my upper body until my back is resting against the wall in the shower. Irish supports my weight while he slams into me. This is going to be hard and fast, just how I like it. I move my body so that I meet Irish thrust for thrust. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him in for
a kiss that’s as heated as what’s going on between our bodies.
“Harder Connor,” I moan out.
Irish does as I ask and slams into me harder and harder. I can feel his movements becoming erratic and I know that he’s getting close to finding his release. Taking one hand, I reach between us and start rubbing on my clit. He’s waiting until I find my release before he’ll let himself go. I’ll just speed up finding my release so he can let go. I love it when he lets himself go and doesn’t think about how hard he’s giving it to me. It’s the best for me when he reaches that point. Not that every other time with him is amazing.
“Give. It. To. Me.” Irish tells me on every thrust.
Speeding up my movements on my clit, I feel myself building towards a powerful climax. Throwing my head back, I let the sensations overtake my body and let the build-up take over as my release crashes through my body. Just as I’m coming down, I feel Irish still and I know he’s reached his release as well.
It’s been a few days since the talk Irish and I had. Things seem to be going better. He’s doing what he has to for the club, I’m working, and when we can we spend our time together. Yeah, there’s days that we hardly see one another, but I know it’s not either one of us pulling away this time. I’ve been called into work more because people have called in, and he’s busy doing club business with them trying to find a new location to move the club to. I’m not sure what moving an MC means, but I’m sure they’ve got it figured out and will do what has to be done. The rest of us will know what we have to when it’s time. More than likely that won’t be until it’s time to pack up and get ready to leave.
“Babe, you here?” Irish calls out, walking through the door to our room.
“In the closet,” I respond, walking in to put laundry away.
“Need to talk.”
“What’s going on now?” I ask, sitting on the end of the bed to listen to what has happened.