by Erin Osborne
“I’m really sorry that I haven’t been around you guys as much as I should be. I just have this irrational fear that Vicky is going to show back up and take Cassidy away from us. Away from me because she knows the problems I was having. And I know you don’t know what’s been going on, but I’ll explain it to you.”
“You don’t have to explain anything Caydence. We all know you’re going through some shit,” Bailey tells me. “If you want to share, we’re here to listen, but it’s up to you.”
“I had this fear that not only will Vicky be back to take her from us, but that she wasn’t really our child. For the longest time Irish had to do everything for her. I couldn’t even bring myself to get up with her in the middle of the night. He did everything. When I was alone, I had to make myself believe that I was babysitting just so I could get up with her. I’ve been seeing Karen more and she’s really helping me get past it.”
“Why didn’t you come to us before and tell us?” Skylar asks me. “We would’ve done whatever we could have to help you guys. Help you.”
“I couldn’t stand to let anyone know how far I had sunk into my own head. Would any of you have gone to the rest of us for help?”
They all take a second and shake their heads no. It’s one thing to go to your man and get help, even though I didn’t do that until he forced me to. They would’ve been the same way as me though. I know it because we’re all basically the same. No matter what we try to tell ourselves, we try to handle everything we can on our own and don’t bring anyone else in if we don’t have to.
“Anyway, the reason I wanted to talk to you guys is because Cassidy’s birthday is next month. I want to have a party and thought you guys could help me decorate and stuff.”
All of the girls get devious smiles on their faces and I know they’re all thinking about being able to decorate the clubhouse in pinks, purples, and every other girly color we can think of. It’s crazy and I love it. I’ve missed this so much and I can’t wait to see the guys faces when they see all of the little girl decorations.
“Are you planning on doing a theme or what?” Maddie asks me.
“I wasn’t going to, but then I thought I’d get your opinion on it.”
“I think we need to. Princess themes are so overrated that I don’t think we need to do that. What about some other little girl themes?” Melody adds in.
“There’s Minnie Mouse, Doc McStuffins, My Little Pony, and Barbie. I could go on and on.” Bailey says, rubbing her hands together because she knows what the guys are going to say. They’ll bitch and moan, but then again they’ll suffer through it because it’s for one of the kids.
“What does she like playing with the most?” Melody asks, getting into the party planning mode.
“Her ponies.”
We continue on into late afternoon. Planning, talking, laughing, and feeling like old times. Times before my head started to do me in. I wish I could get back the time I’ve lost, but I know I can’t. The only thing I can do now is try to get out of our room more and spend time with the women of the club that help me get through the day.
I start to get Cassidy around when I see Irish and Glock walk outside. They stand by the clubhouse talking for a few minutes before heading our way. I don’t know if he has anything planned so I’ll get ready to head back inside. For now, anyway.
“You ready to get in?” he asks me.
“Yeah. Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I just want to relax with my girls.”
I tell everyone goodbye and we head inside. Once we get in the room, we feed Cassidy her dinner before getting her ready for bed. It’s so nice to take care of her with my man by my side instead of trying to do everything by myself or him do everything by himself. We both bathe her and get her dressed in her pajamas. Instead of putting her right to bed, we settle her in between us on our bed. It won’t matter if she falls asleep because we can move her and she won’t wake up.
It doesn’t take long before I see her little eyes fluttering closed. Cassidy is trying her hardest to fight off sleep, but it’s a losing battle. Irish and I are laughing at her because she’s so cute trying to force her little eyes to stay open. They just won’t though. Soon, they close, and she loses her battle. We watch her sleep for a little bit and then take her in the little room off of ours that we turned into a nursery. Irish lays her down and I cover her up. Before leaving the room, we watch her to make sure she’s going to stay asleep.
“I think we’re good babe.” Irish tells me, leading me away from her and back towards our bed.
I can’t think or do anything before he leans in and kisses me to let me know that he wants us to spend some time together. He doesn’t have to say a word as I can already feel him getting hard and his hands start to roam my body. Pretty soon, he’s taking my tank top off and unhooking my bra so I can get rid of that too. At the same time, I’m taking his shirt off since he already removed his cut when we were bathing our daughter. I love looking at Irish’s body. He’s got muscles without being huge and I know that he works out with the guys to stay in shape. Irish is the hard to my soft.
Irish starts kissing along my neck and all thought leaves my head. I can’t process anything except what he’s doing to me. It’s always this way and I feel like every time we’re together it keeps getting better and better.
As he continues kissing his way to my chest, I start to undo his belt and jeans. The main time I do this is when I’m in a hurry and I can’t wait for him to be naked. Otherwise he does all this himself while I undress myself. Tonight, is not one of those nights though. I want Irish more than I want my next breath.
“You can slow down baby,” he tells me, while pushing me back towards the bed.
“No. I want you too much. Please, give it to me Connor.”
“You want it hard and fast then?”
“Yes!” I moan out.
Irish takes the hint and gives me just what I want. Turning me around, he bends me over the bed and runs his fingers through my folds to make sure that I’m wet enough for him to enter me without hurting me. Satisfied, I feel him line his cock up with my entrance before slamming into me. I let out a moan as he fills me. There’s a pain bordering on pleasure that I love. He knows how to push me to my limit and not beyond what I can take. Irish definitely knows how to work my body over until I can’t hold back anymore.
As he’s thrusting in and out, Irish reaches around with one hand and starts pulling on my nipples. With his other hand, he grabs onto my hip so I stay in one place as he thrusts impossibly harder into me. Irish’s fingers are digging into my hip and I know without a doubt there’s going to be bruises where they are. I love when I have his marks on me because he’s lost all control.
I can feel my release building and I know that it’s going to be hard. The kind that will take my breath away and make me see stars. From the movements Irish is making I know he’s close to finding his release too. His movements are erratic and getting harder by the second.
“Give. It. Up.” he growls out right next to my ear.
That’s all I need to push me over the edge. My release explodes through me and I can feel Irish finding his as he growls out my name. I collapse on the bed and I feel him roll me to the side as he rubs my back and arms. They feel numb from holding myself up and he knows that usually happens in that position.
“You good babe?” he asks when he’s finally caught his breath.
“Uh huh.”
I can’t muster much more than that right now. After another minute, I get up and grab clothes so I can jump in a shower and clean up. If I know Irish, it will only be a matter of minutes before he joins me. Just as I’m going to get in the shower, I hear the door open and I know he’s going to be in here in a second. So, I step under the spray of the shower. Irish wraps his arms around me and spins us so I can start washing and he can get wet.
“I heard back from the realty company.” he tells me, like it’s no big deal.
“What did the
y say?” I ask, trying not to get my hopes up.
“The owners accepted our offer. We go in on Monday and sign the papers.”
“Are you serious?”
“I am. Are you happy?”
“Yeah. I just have one question.”
“What’s that?”
“Why didn’t you talk to Rage about building a house here with the rest of the guys?”
“I just thought havin’ our own space away from the club would be better. We can get away from everyone and everythin’ club related.”
“This is our family though. I’ll be fine if we live here. That way we’re protected no matter what.”
“I get what your sayin’. Maybe we’ll still have him build one here. I don’t know. We’ll talk about it.”
After quickly washing up, we dry off and head in to bed. Cassidy doesn’t let us sleep in and I’m going to have a busy day tomorrow finalizing plans for her party. We’re going to have it in a few weeks and I want to finish getting everything planned out so I can shop and then just worry about decorating when it’s time. Skylar is already figuring out what kind of cake she’s going to make. The only thing she knows right now is that she’s going to make Cassidy her own so she can go to town and make as big of a mess as she wants while the rest of us have our own.
It’s been a few months and things are still not right with the club. We’re on a loose lockdown where the women can’t go anywhere alone and whenever possible we need to be at the clubhouse. Irish, Cassidy, and I have been spending time together in the room. It’s not a case of not wanting to take her out of the room these days, it’s more of she’s been sick, and we don’t want to get everyone else sick.
The house is ours now, but we haven’t moved in because of everything going on with the club. Irish wants to stay close and he knows that if we start to move in, I’m going to want to stay there and not here. We finally told the members closest to us that we’re going to be moving into our own home off of club grounds. They were obviously upset, but they understood our need for separation with everything going on.
Today we’re having a celebration for Blade and Keira’s wedding. They got married in a private ceremony and only told us all after the fact. Keira didn’t want a big deal made of it, but she should have known we were going to make a huge deal of it. The girls and I have planned a reception worthy of any biker wedding. So, now it’s time to get ready to have a good time and celebrate our friends love.
“Baby, can you watch Cassidy while I go help the girls put the finishing touches on everything please.”
“Yeah. You go do what you have to do, and we’ll be fine. We’ll have some daddy daughter time.”
I give him a kiss on my way out to help the girls get everything ready for Blade and Keira. She hasn’t really been around us and she knows Melody the best out of all of us. I want to get to know her though and this is one of the best ways we can help bring her in closer. We’re showing her that we care enough to throw her a party in celebration of her marriage. She’s going to be part of us and one of the old ladies. Not some random club girl and we need to make sure she feels the love. I probably won’t do much at the party part, but I will show my face and make sure she knows I’m there.
Walking into the main room of the clubhouse, I see the girls already getting everything in order. I walk over and see what they need me to do. Bailey tells me I can help Skylar in the kitchen for now. She’s going to need all hands on deck. They know I love to cook and bake, I’m just not very good at it. So, I’ll be all the help Skylar needs and maybe I’ll be able to learn a thing or two.
“Skylar, I’m all yours,” I tell her, walking in the kitchen and seeing everything she’s already gotten done. “You tell me what to do and I’ll do the best I can.”
“Great! You can start peeling the eggs and get the potatoes out of the refrigerator for the salads. We’re going to do a few of potato and macaroni. I want to make sure we have enough. I’ve already got the cake ready. It’s at the house for a little while longer. Joker and Cage are going to bring it over in about an hour.”
“Okay.”
Neither one of us talk that much as we work side by side. The silence is companionable and not awkward like I would’ve felt a few weeks ago. We’re just trying to get things done so that we can enjoy the rest of the afternoon with our family and friends. Bailey called in Gage and Slim’s clubs to celebrate with us. The three clubs do a lot together and I love being able to spend time with other clubs. Well, I did before everything started fucking with my head.
After a few hours, we’re finally done. I walk out to the back of the clubhouse and see the amazing work the rest of the girls did decorating. They’ve had the guys move the picnic tables around, set up an area for dancing, there’s a table designated for the bride and groom, and another table set up for food and one for gifts. The girls chose colors they thought Keira would like and decorated everything that is nailed down. I’m sure the guys are going to love cleaning up after this party. The shitty part of being a prospect.
Just as I go to get Cassidy and Irish, this overwhelming feeling of nausea comes over me and I have to run to the bathroom. There’s no way that I can be pregnant again already. What the fuck is going on with me?
The party hasn’t been going for very long and all of a sudden we hear an explosion. My first thought is Cassidy. I know she’s inside with Ma and Pops. So, as long as the clubhouse is left alone, she should be fine. Too bad that’s wishful thinking on my part. Of course, whoever is doing this is going to hit the clubhouse too. My baby girl is in there and I know they’ll protect the kids with everything in them.
All of a sudden, a thought comes to me. I don’t know if I can really go through another miscarriage. The last one about broke me and I can’t live with knowing again that I am losing another part of Irish and me. A little one that we created just the two of us. I’ve already lost two babies and a third one will literally break me. Mentally and emotionally I know I won’t be able to handle losing a baby. So, there’s only one way I can see to ensure that I won’t have to worry about it. While all the girls are taken to one area of the property, I stay where I’m at. If I get hit by an explosion I won’t have to worry about being pregnant. The doctor won’t do a hysterectomy for whatever reason and birth control doesn’t work for me. If I’m not around, everyone will be better off.
Before I can think about my decision too hard, I see some of the guys running inside after an explosion takes out part of the clubhouse. I’m so busy looking at them, trying to get one last glimpse of my man that I don’t notice when an explosion goes off right next to me. I only feel extreme pain before landing on the ground with a sickening thud. My body feels like it’s on fire and I know that it’s only a matter of time before I take my last breath. The last thought I have before my world goes black is that of Irish holding our baby girl.
Part Two
The Present
Chapter Six
Whitney
IT’S TAKEN ME SIXTEEN YEARS, but I’ve finally gotten away from the man my parents sold me to when I was fourteen. My fifteen-year-old daughter, Sami, and I have been in the car for days and days trying to stay ahead of the man that’s abused me, raped me, and taken every piece of my soul away from me. I’m trying to stay upbeat and not let on that the last beating I suffered at his hands has done a real number on me. Sami isn’t dumb though and she knows that I’m not right. She’s just happy we’re finally away from him. He’s her dad and she can’t stand him, can’t stand the life he wanted for her.
Sami was lucky enough to escape the verbal assaults by her father. Every time we turned around he was yelling at her for something. Hell, I’m surprised she could breathe without getting yelled and screamed at by him. I know most people would’ve gotten out of the situation a long time ago. We weren’t lucky enough to do that though.
My husband is an extremely rich man. While he was gone to work, business trips, fucking his whore of the week, and whatever el
se he decided he had to do, we were guarded by armed guards. They were in the house, outside of the house, and stationed around the block we lived on. The only reason we were able to get out this time was because I managed to get sympathy from one of the new guards that didn’t like the way my husband treated us. He acted like he was driving me to pick Sami up from school and then he let us go. As soon as I picked my daughter up he got out of the car, gave me some cash, and told me to get as far away as possible. When I asked him what he was going to do, he said he would just blend in and disappear. He knows what’s going to happen to him if my husband ever finds him, he’ll pay for his traitorous behavior with his life.
“Mom, can we stop somewhere please?” my daughter asks me.
“You okay honey?”
“Yeah. I’m just hungry and I have to go to the bathroom.”
“I could use a pit stop myself. The next little town we come to, we’ll make a stop.”
“How are you going to cover up the bruises on your face mom?”
“I’m not worried about it. I’ll put my sunglasses on to cover up the black eyes and the rest will have to go as is.” I tell her, knowing that she’s concerned about what people are going to think.
Up ahead I see a sign announcing the town of Clifton Falls. I’ll find somewhere to go to the bathroom, top off the tank, and grab something to eat before we get back on the road. I’m going to splurge on us today and see if I can find some place we can sit down and eat. I’m tired of fast food and gas station snacks. Sami has to be getting tired of it too, but she won’t complain. My girl is the easiest person in the world to make happy. As long as those around her are happy and safe, my girl could care less what she has. Thankfully he hasn’t taken that away from her.
Pulling up to a gas station, I see that it’s fairly packed. I’m not surprised with it being a Saturday. What does surprise me are the number of motorcycles in the parking lot. A group of men are standing off to the side, talking and laughing. They don’t frighten me. When they head into the gas station, I see one lone man standing watch over the bikes.