A Different Reflection

by Jane L Gibson

  “I am so proud of you!” she said as she hugged me. “How do you know I did the right thing?” I replied.

  “If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t look this relaxed with your situation!” she replied, raising her eyebrows at me, hopeful that she was right. I nodded.

  “Yes, it went better than I expected – that’s it, I am officially rid of him!” I replied. She hugged me again and jumped around a little.

  “Yes!” She shot her arm in the air. “We are going to have so much fun this weekend! Plus you get to make puppy eyes at ‘the hottie’… and before you say anything, I don’t even give a crap if he’s real, because he sounds bloody perfect!” she then stated. We both laughed heartily.

  I arrived at the station that evening with a spring in my step. I got to drive home in a lovely Range Rover, which was a treat in itself – even if the car was a little larger than I was used to. As I turned into my driveway, the house was lit and looked so inviting. I pulled up by the main steps and got out of the car, and before I knew it George was at my side.

  “Katharina, I am so pleased to see you looking so happy this evening!” he said as he kissed me on both cheeks. “Can I take it from the happy look on your face that things went as well as could be expected today?” he then asked. I turned to him and passed him my heavy bag as I grabbed my handbag and shut the door, and then smiled.

  “It was far better than I could have imagined and I am happy that it is over with!” I replied as I touched his arm. “Can I take it that you are feeling well-rested George?” I asked hopefully.

  “Indeed I do – I am so sorry that I missed you this morning. It seems after long conversations with James on regular occasions, my body cannot distinguish between night and day sometimes!” he remarked. I smiled.

  “So it would seem that we are both feeling much better then!” I replied as we happily went up the stairs and entered the house. We were busy chatting when James suddenly spoke.

  “Well, this is a pleasant surprise, you are remarkably chirpier than I had anticipated!” I turned to him and smiled.

  “You know James, it was easier than I expected, and I feel remarkably relieved about the whole thing!” I replied. He smiled in return.

  “I am glad to hear it!” he then said as I moved closer to the mirror. I stared at him for a moment and then he smiled more, and I realised that I was just staring at him.

  “I bought this as a celebratory drink. I’m sure you’ve tasted far better over the years, but this is really good!” I then stated as I lifted the bottle I had bought in my hand and gestured to it.

  “Nothing like a good spirit!” George remarked as he appeared at the side of me.

  “I agree!” I smiled. I linked arms with him and we walked toward his apartment.

  “So, we are having chicken this evening. I have not done anything elaborate, so please do not expect perfection!” George confirmed.

  “Everything that you do is delicious, George, and it means that I don’t need to cook, so I’m more than happy – I would be satisfied with beans on toast!” I smiled back at him.

  “Point taken!” he nodded.

  As I poured three glasses of the fine brandy and passed one to George and placed one on the end of the island, I looked into my glass, trying to think of the appropriate toast, and then it dawned on me that it need not be complex. I looked at them both, raised my glass and simply stated: “To new beginnings!” They both looked at each other and then at me and repeated the toast, to which James added “and happier futures”. I smiled in agreement at his toast and finished the rest of the brandy. I banged the glass down.

  “Whoa, I needed that. I have a very strong notion that I am going to get very merry tonight!” I then informed them. James raised his eyebrows.

  “Why not? I will join you… George?” he then invited.

  “Well, I will try and keep up with you, but I am not promising that it will be a pretty sight!” he laughed.

  “That’s settled, then… you share that bottle and I will start on this one!” James then stated as he lifted up the replica bottle of brandy on his side of the mirror.

  “I like this game, and I love that our bottle will last longer! It really is quite ingenious, this spell, and on the odd occasion it has its uses – as well demonstrated tonight!” I pointed out as I poured myself another glass. George looked at James.

  “She does have a point! I think you would have drunk this house dry many years ago if we had to share!”

  “You make me out to be some type of alcoholic, George!” James replied, slightly annoyed.

  “Hey, we have had plenty of years of drinking and downed too many bottles to mention; probably more than one ship could carry. Between us – and in particular you – we haven’t done too badly!” George answered, tongue in cheek.

  “As much as I would like to differ with you, George, I believe there is some truth in what you are saying!” James then said.

  We all laughed and talked, and I helped George get dinner ready. We were eating in the main dining room tonight, which was a thrill. The fire was ablaze and the room glowed; it was like being at a dinner party with friends of Mr Darcy, in their very opulent and grand home. The only difference was that this was my home! I was content with the feeling that George and James accepted me like I was family; and I was so relaxed around them. I was more than happy right now, and we talked throughout dinner, reminiscing on past things and discussing future opportunities. The wine kept flowing and I knew that I was getting merrier by the minute, but I still felt the smallest bit sad… for James. I stood and walked to his mirror after I had finished the last drop in my glass and poured the small amount left in the bottle.

  “I really do wish that you could join us on this side, James!” I stated with complete sincerity. “You are, after all, the man of the house, and I am the lady of the house; it does not seem fair that you cannot participate wholly! I do hope that you can sit opposite me some day!” I then said before blushing. Those famous words ‘in vino veritas’ suddenly sprang to mind. “I probably should not speak my thoughts so loudly!” I then said in haste as I grimaced at myself. “I do not expect ladies of your era would have said so much?”

  “It would certainly have been more interesting if they had!” he smiled. “I hope for the same someday Katharina; it does tie one’s stomach into knots, only being able to watch you and George and not being a physical part of the fun and amusement! I would be more than pleased, if I was ever released from this prison, to join you, but for now just having you here with us is more than satisfactory!” he finished. I realised now that he had moved closer to the mirror and I was addicted to staring into his beautiful eyes; they made my insides somersault, which in turn made me feel a little bit nauseous (too much wine!). I raised my glass.

  “To having you here with me – and George – on this side of the mirror!” I said as I took a sip from my glass. I did feel like I was swaying slightly now!

  “Hear, hear!” George then suddenly said, and I turned and looked at him. He was smiling at the two of us, and then he turned back to the table. He did seem somewhat amused by something and then I realised that it was probably my inability to retain alcohol well in any volume! I took the decision to sit back down.

  After dinner, we retired to the day room, where again the fire was lit. James had promised that we would use the older rooms of the house more frequently, and he was a man of his word, it seemed.

  “Wow, I really do love this room!” I stated as I sprawled myself on the chaise longue in a not-very-ladylike manner. Thank goodness Jane Austen was not here to see me behaving in such a way… I do not know how she would even start a story about this fairy tale! The thought made me smile.

  “I think that I will go and make some tea. That’s enough for me for tonight!” George happily announced as he left the room. I sat up and immediately put my hands to my head and closed my eyes.

  “Ooh, head rush! I think I may have to slow down myself. Am I slurring my words
yet?” I asked James. He laughed.

  “You have been for some time. You are still understandable, though, if that makes you feel any better?”

  “Oh marvellous, my first night of being single and I act like an inebriated fool!” I concluded, leaning back against the chaise longue.

  “Well, fool is a little harsh; you are simply happy, Katharina. However, I prefer the word ‘inebriant’ to better describe you!” James then said. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

  “I think that’s the same thing, James! Gosh, I know how to make an impression, don’t I?” I laughed.

  “Hardly the same; my interpretation of the word ‘inebriant’ toward you would be ‘intoxicating’,” he then said, with such delicacy and feeling that I felt immediately sober.

  What was he implying? That he found me intoxicating, as in suffocating – like being under the influence of alcohol all the time? Or intoxicating like a drug that he could not live without? I sat and looked at him and felt lost for words; he in return looked at me with reservation, waiting for a reply. I waited a minute or so before speaking.

  “Well, that’s nice – I think! I cannot say that I have ever been called intoxicating before. It could have many meanings, I am sure, but I will choose to take it as a compliment!” I replied. I am not sure how I managed to get those words out, as my fuzzy head returned with added force.

  “I am pleased, as that was my intention!” He smiled the warmest, coyest and slightly little-boyish smile and I melted… thank goodness George returned at that moment with the tea.

  “Right, tea anyone?” George asked. I raised my hand like a schoolgirl and then realised that I must look ridiculous – so I started laughing, and unfortunately for some time could not stop!

  I sipped the tea and then had another cup, and then as gracefully as I could – and with every ounce of effort – I stood up, swayed a little, reached out and caught my balance on the top of the chaise longue, then realised that both of them had stood too. I pointed to them both in a drunken, roundabout way and then raised my finger up.

  “I…” I declared loudly, “… am going to go to bed and get some sleep before I fall over or start drooling across the cushions.”

  “May we walk you?” George then asked.

  “I think, should I be okay!” I replied as I moved. As I stumbled, George caught my elbow. “That didn’t come out in the right order!” I chuckled. “I haven’t been this drunk in ages!” I then said as I flung my arm out and caught George on the cheek, which made me laugh even more.

  “Right young lady, definitely time for you to retire!” George smiled as we started walking to the hallway.

  “Indeed, we do not want you to injure yourself by falling!” James then stated. As soon as he said it I felt sick; I suddenly realised that in his world no woman in their right mind would become so intoxicated in front of any man. I started to mumble.

  “I am so, so, so sorry! How could I let myself get like this in your home? You must think me vulgar and rude and completely ridiculous. No woman has probably ever embarrassed herself in front of you before by drinking so much alcohol!”

  “I am fast learning that any woman I knew in my era had not lived very well by not experiencing the same as gentlemen. I do not find you embarrassing, ridiculous or any of the things that you seem to think of yourself. Need I keep reminding you that this is your home too?” James kindly replied.

  “Really?” I asked hopefully as we reached the corridor to my bedroom.

  “Indeed, I do in fact find it – in a demonstrative way – amusing!” he then smiled, trying not to laugh. “Please George, I am sure that you agree with me?” George pulled a face and bobbed his head from side to side a couple of times.

  “Yes, I have always loved women that know how to enjoy themselves, and I have to agree with James – this is quite enjoyable for us!” he concluded as we reached my door and walked into my room.

  “I hate you two ganging up on me!” I joked as I mock-punched George’s arm and then fell backwards onto the bed laughing. “You are not going to see me like this again!” I then said once I stopped laughing.

  “Oh, I do hope we will!” James remarked as I sat up and looked into George’s eyes; he was knelt before me, taking off my shoes.

  “No one has removed my shoes for me before!” I sighed as I watched George. “I really do love you two like family!” I then said meaningfully as I poked George in the chest to reinforce the statement. “And I have to confess that sitting up quickly has made me feel very nauseous and the room is spinning!” I then finished as I tried to focus.

  “Okay, I think it is time for you to lay down and sleep,” George insisted as he pushed me onto the pillow and covered me up fully dressed. “Goodnight!” he then said. I waved my arm in the air for a second in response, and that was all I remembered until my alarm scared me nearly half to death the next morning. I woke with a hangover from hell and stuck my head under the pillow, groaning and hoping that I could stay put for the rest of the day! As I lay there, trying to determine whether my head or my stomach hurt more, I groaned and asked myself why I drank so much. A quiet voice sounded behind me.

  “Dare I ask how you are feeling this morning?” James enquired. I moaned some more and then turned and sat up, looked down at myself fully clothed and realised that I probably had hair that looked like I had been dragged backwards though a hedge. Worse, I knew for sure that I had not taken off my make up the night before, so it was more than likely smeared across my face. The more I thought about last night, the more unsure I was of how I actually got to bed! I pulled my knees up and rested my head on them, sighed and then looked at James in the mirror opposite the end of my bed.

  “Oh sweet Mary and Joseph, I think I have been possessed this morning!” I replied sarcastically.

  “By an intoxicated demon?” he remarked, trying not to laugh, and as soon as he said that, little snippets of conversation started to pop back into my mind.

  “Ha ha, yes, I am sure that this is amusing you no end! I feel like I drank a bar dry last night!” I remarked as I threw myself back onto the bed, arms outspread, and closed my eyes. ‘Intoxicated’ – that word was ringing a bell in my mind. I tried to block out James’ light laughter.

  “I think it is safe to say that you had more than usual last night, but, as bad as you feel, it was nice for George and I to see you so relaxed and so yourself. I hope that you are still ready to start the day as a new beginning?” James then asked. I forced myself to sit back up, trying to ignore the room spinning.

  “I am indeed ready to start today positively, regardless of how hungover I am. I hope that I did not say anything out of turn last night?” I replied, whilst rubbing my face, then realised that I had mascara on my hand. “Oh great, and that is probably why you are laughing – I bet I look a real sight this morning!” I sighed.

  “You look very vulnerable, but I would not say that is a laughing matter – quite the contrary, I wish that I could make you feel better! I merely laugh because you make me feel happy; I love the fact that you can laugh at yourself and that you find yourself comfortable enough in our company to completely let yourself go. It is a quality that I like very much!” he said sincerely. I smiled.

  “You say the sweetest things to me, James, and I love that you make me feel so relaxed here. What time is it? I need to get ready for work!” I then stated.

  “I think you will find that George is on his way up with something medicinal – and breakfast I believe!” he then informed me. No sooner had he said it there was a knock at the door.

  “Come in!” I shouted as I started laughing at my misconduct the night before.

  “Good morning young lady, and how are we feeling this morning?” he enquired. I grimaced a little.

  “Young lady? That name brings back remnants of last night! I still feel that I am slightly out of control of my body this morning due to the effects of alcohol, George!” I laughed. “And before you say anything, I must apologise to yo
u too for any inappropriate behaviour!”

  “You have no need to apologise, Katharina; you were quite in control of your faculties – with the exception of a little swaying!” he smiled.

  “Oh dear, this is not sounding any better. I do find I am remembering little things now!” I shuffled back up the bed to sit up as George walked around to my side of the bed.

  “Here we are; Alka-Seltzer, tea and toast!” he happily announced as he placed the tray on my legs.

  “George, you are far too kind to me!” I replied as I smiled at the tidy arrangement. There was a little dish of strawberry jam and butter, two slices of toast, cut neatly and diagonally, a small teapot and milk and a small vase that held a lovely pink rose. “This looks lovely and probably what I need!” I thanked him.

  “Well, I will leave you to eat and get ready, then I will take you to the station. We need to leave in an hour – I will wait downstairs for you!” he informed me as he nodded toward James and then left the room.

  “Thank you George!” I shouted to him. James looked at me and then said:

  “I will leave you to enjoy your breakfast!”

  “No, please don’t. If I’m left to my own thoughts of what happened last night, I may die of shame before you return. Can you talk to me whilst I eat? In fact…” I climbed out of bed, tied my hair loosely up out of the way and then grabbed my tray. “If I sit on the footstool at the end of my bed, surely you will be able to join me for breakfast?” I hoped as I placed the tray down opposite the mirror.

  “If you are sure, I should enjoy that!” he said as we sat for a moment. I picked up a makeup wipe and proceeded to clean my face. By the time I had finished and looked across at James, I was happy to see that my tray of breakfast was now his too.

  “There we go, let’s eat!” I said as I buttered my toast and poured some tea. James did the same.

  Although I felt slightly nauseous and my head very fuzzy and painful, the fact that James was sat there in his breeches and an open-necked flouncy white shirt, reminiscent of Colin Firth in Pride and Predjudice, made the whole experience far easier to endure. I had not realised before how much I found the dress code of his period so attractive, although there was the added bonus that James was wearing it! I smiled to myself.