The Backup Plan (Back in the Game)

by McLaughlin, Jen

  “Oh, at Maxwell—?”

  “No,” I cut in. “Like, her parents are in my house. Her mother is the chef, and her father runs the house. We don’t call him the butler because who the hell has a butler nowadays, but yeah, he’s the butler.”

  She choked on a laugh. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No, he’s the butler.”

  “I meant about her being a servant’s kid,” she said, still laughing. “There’s no way you’re dating a servant’s kid. Not Chase Maxwell.”

  I frowned, not liking her snobby tone. This was exactly the kind of attitude I was trying to separate myself from. “Don’t call her that.”

  She stopped laughing right away. “Oh. That, uh…I mean, uh, that’s cool.”

  “Amanda.”

  She waved a hand. “No, it is. I’m glad she’s bettering herself, and all that.”

  “She doesn’t need to better herself. She’s fine the way she is.” I tightened my grip on the wheel, waiting to turn right and watching traffic. “I’ve known her almost my whole life, and she’s the best person I know.”

  She held her hands up. “I didn’t say she wasn’t.”

  “You didn’t need to.”

  Shaking her head, she shifted in her seat, facing me. “It’s just…I know your dad, and I can’t imagine him being okay with this. Does he know?”

  “No, and it’s none of his damn business.”

  She let out one short laugh. “I don’t think he’ll agree. He has plans for you, and if you’re not playing football—”

  “Who says I won’t be?” I asked, cutting her off.

  She closed her mouth, hesitating. “Well, your arm…”

  “It doesn’t matter.” I turned into the school parking lot. “Even if I’m not playing the game, it doesn’t mean his plans for me will happen. I don’t have to marry a suitable girl and be his bitch. I can do what I want. Be what I want.”

  She said nothing.

  Just stared straight ahead.

  I pulled into my spot, sliding the car into park. When I unbuckled my seat belt, she rested her hand on mine. “Chase…”

  “Yeah?”

  “I want you to be happy, and I don’t think you’re going to be happy with a servant’s daughter.”

  I stiffened. “Amanda—”

  “Hear me out. Your father will disown you. He will never accept this.”

  Did she think I didn’t know my father, and the way his brain worked? Did she seriously think she knew him better than me? “I don’t give a fuck.”

  “You say that, but you will.” She let go of me. “Taylor’s great. She’s fun. She’s sweet. I like her a lot. But she’s not the forever type of girl. She’s the college girl.”

  I gritted my teeth, staring at her. “Let me guess. You’re the forever type of girl?”

  “Well, I mean…” She tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at me, completely misreading my question. “Yeah, I guess so. Your parents loved me. If we were together, your trust fund would be safe, you could work for your dad, everyone would win. No one would lose anything.”

  Except me. I’d lose the woman who brought me back to life and made me want to live again. But no one gave a damn about that, right? “I’m with Taylor.”

  She shrugged. “That’s okay. I happen to like her.”

  “And yet you’re trying to take her boyfriend…”

  “No, I’m not.” She seemed like she really believed that, which baffled me. Girls made no sense. “Be with her. Treat her well. When you two are done, I’ll still be here.”

  Since when did she think we were meant to be together forever? This whole thing had come out of nowhere, and I wasn’t sure what to think of it. “Amanda…you don’t want to be with me. Not really.”

  “But I do.” She smiled, leaning in and kissing my cheek. “I love you, Chase.”

  I said nothing. Just blinked.

  “I’ll always love you,” she added into my silence.

  Still, I said nothing.

  I’d been thinking about those three little words for a week now, and what they meant, but when I heard them spoken out loud…they were from the wrong girl.

  She patted my cheek where she’d kissed it, and then got out of my car like she hadn’t just dropped a bomb on my head and then smiled over it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Taylor

  I leaned back in the booth, laughing. “Mom.”

  “It’s true!” she said, smiling and picking up her coffee. “He fell right down the stairs, butt first, in his expensive suit, with his briefcase in his hands.”

  I laughed even harder at the mental image of Chase’s father sliding down the front steps of their mansion. I know it was mean of me, but the man was a jerk who controlled his son’s life and threatened to fire my parents if I dared to touch Chase. He deserved every bruise he got from falling down those stairs. “Did he drop the suitcase?”

  “Of course not,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  I shook my head, picking at my fries. We were at Minella’s diner, surrounded by Villanova students. A few football players sat in the corner, huddled over their phones, and I kept shooting nervous looks their way because they kept looking at me. I swear, if they even tried to start trouble with me when I was with my mother…

  “So, how’s school going?” She looked around us, smiling. She wore an old gray cardigan, a pink T-shirt, and a pair of jeans I swore she’d owned since I was a baby. “I still can’t believe you go here.”

  “I know.” I smiled, watching her. She looked so proud. “I like it a lot.”

  “I’m sure. It’s a great school, the kind of school your father and I never could have sent you to.” She sniffed and straightened. “Thank God for Mr. Maxwell.”

  I stiffened. “Yeah. Thank God.”

  “Have you seen Chase around here?” She sniffed again, swiping her hand over the tip of her nose. “That poor boy.”

  I winced and glanced out the window. Mom didn’t know about us. She also had no clue Mr. Maxwell had sent me here to keep an eye on his son. She thought he’d done it out of the goodness of his nonexistent heart.

  As if.

  I used to like him. Admired him, even, right up until the moment he threatened to fire my parents if I dared to touch his son. Every day I spent with Chase was a reminder that I couldn’t let myself fall for him. Every day spent with Chase was a day I fell for him a little bit more.

  In short: I was an idiot.

  No big shocker, there.

  In these couple of months that we’d been dating, he had become more like the boy I used to run with through the halls of his home. Every class, he was quick to raise his hand, and he never hung his head low and avoided crowds anymore. He was doing better, studying on his own without me reminding him, and for all intents and purposes, he didn’t need me hanging around for him to finish his work on time.

  I should end things now, before anyone got hurt.

  But if I did that, then he might slip away into that dark hole he’d been in before, and I couldn’t take that risk. I needed him in my life, yes, but I also needed this degree. I needed the life a college degree from Villanova University could offer me.

  My parents needed it.

  So I kept playing the game.

  Chase would be fine. He’d get over me. Marry a suitable girl like Amanda. Run his father’s company and follow his dreams. No matter what life he chose, he’d be better off without me.

  I couldn’t win this battle.

  “Taylor?” Mom asked, frowning. “What’s wrong?”

  “Huh?” I plastered a smile on my face. “Oh. Nothing.”

  She wagged a finger in my face. “Uh-uh. That won’t work.”

  “What won’t work?” I asked innocently.

  “That smile. That voice.” She lowered her finger. “I know you, and when you frown and stare off into the distance, you’re stressed out about something. What is it?”

  Crap. My mom was way too attentive. “Noth
ing. I was just thinking about Chase. He just—he changed a lot, but we’ve been hanging out, studying together. It’s been—nice.”

  She leaned back, pursing her lips. “Hanging out?”

  “Yeah, Mom.” I air quoted: “Hanging out.”

  “Are you dating him?” she asked slowly. “Tell me the truth. Don’t lie to your mother.”

  “I never lie to you,” I said, not meeting her eyes. Normally, this was true, but right now, I didn’t have a choice. “We’re just friends.”

  She sagged against the back of the booth. “Thank God.”

  “What?” I asked, surprised by my mom’s reaction. I hadn’t expected her to be so…so…happy that I wasn’t with Chase. “Why?”

  “I like Chase. He’s a great boy.” She rested her hand over mine, squeezing it on the table. “But his father would never accept you, or us, as his family.”

  I swallowed hard. “Yeah, I know.”

  “That’s why it would be a bad idea.” She let go of my hand. “I’d love to have Chase as my son, but I fear the feeling would not be the same on the other side. Something tells me Mr. Maxwell wants better in-laws than his employees.”

  I fidgeted with the napkin I’d placed on my lap. Mom was big on manners, and I’d been taught at a young age to always put a napkin on my lap while eating in public…even if it was just a local campus diner. “Which is stupid. We live in America in the twenty-first century. Why would anyone look down on what you do for a living?”

  “I don’t know.” She lifted a dainty shoulder. “At least you don’t have to deal with that here, right? No one knows where you came from.”

  I frowned and grabbed her hand again. “I’m proud of where I came from.”

  “I know you are, dear.” She reached out and cupped my cheek, much like Chase always did. She patted it gently, smiling. “And I’m proud of you. You’re really making something of yourself here.”

  Tears blurred my vision. I blinked them away. “How’s Dad?”

  “Great. He’s busy planning the Maxwell’s annual Fall Gala.” She pulled back. “He wanted to come see you, but he couldn’t get away this time. We miss you, though.”

  “I know. I’m sorry I don’t come home a lot, it’s just so—”

  “Don’t apologize. I’m happy you’re not coming home.” She picked up her coffee again. “It means you’re too busy having fun. Are you making friends?”

  I smiled, thinking of the foursome I was now a part of. “I am.”

  “Good.” She glanced at her watch. It was twenty-five years old, and Dad had given it to her on their wedding day after saving up to buy it for her. She never took it off, never even thought of replacing it, even though it was scratched and the gold was faded. “I should probably get going. It’s almost time to start dinner prep.”

  I checked the time. Chase would be home from his doctor’s appointment by now, so I’d go see him after saying goodbye to Mom. We paid and stood, making our way toward the door. The football players smirked at me as I left, but luckily stayed where they were.

  The second we were safely outside, I let out a sigh of relief. Chatting, we drove back to where my mother had parked by my dorm. As we pulled into my spot, I scanned the lot for Chase’s car. It wasn’t there yet.

  “Baby?” Mom said, not getting out of the car.

  I pulled my keys out of the ignition and shoved my hair out of my face as I looked at her. “Yeah?”

  “I realized earlier, when I said I was happy you weren’t with Chase, how it sounded. It sounded like I thought you weren’t good enough for him.”

  I waved a hand. “Please, don’t worry about—”

  “You are good enough. Mr. Maxwell would be lucky to have you, and so would Chase.” She smiled sadly and cupped my cheeks. “But I don’t want you hurt, and I think if you two were together, that’s exactly what would happen.”

  I swallowed, avoiding her eyes. “I’m sure.”

  “Taylor—”

  “Look, you don’t need to worry about it.” I forced a smile. “Everything is fine.”

  I opened my car door, and she opened hers, too. As we made our way to her car, she added, “If you ever do get together, let me know. I’ll be behind you, supporting you.”

  “Chase Maxwell and I will never be together.”

  As if on cue, Chase’s car pulled up.

  I glanced away and hurried my mom toward her car, praying we outran him. He waved at me through the window and held his finger up, clearly wanting me to keep her around. I pretended not to see, hurrying her even more.

  “Taylor!” he called out, closing his door.

  Somehow my mother didn’t hear him.

  I walked faster, talking over him about anything and everything that popped into my head. I had carefully timed this visit with his physical therapy so we could avoid an awkward run-in with my mother where I had to pretend to not be with him so nothing bad happened, while not letting him know I was pretending to not be with him.

  See what I mean?

  Confusing.

  “Thanks for coming, Mom.” I opened her door and practically shoved her in. I could feel Chase approaching and really wanted to avoid a conversation. “See you after midterms.” I’d promised to come home that weekend.

  “Bye, baby.” She shut her door and pulled out of the spot.

  Feeling relieved, I waved her off.

  I felt his presence before he spoke. “Taylor.”

  Pretending to be startled, I jumped a little and turned around. “Oh, hey. I didn’t hear you come up behind me.” Not quite a lie. I hadn’t. I’d felt him.

  “I was calling your name,” he said slowly, staring at me.

  “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

  I hadn’t convinced him. He stared off toward the road, watching my mom’s car drive off. “I wanted to say hi.”

  “I’m sorry. I haven’t seen her in a while, so I guess I just was sucked into talking to her before she left.” The lie tasted bad on my tongue.

  “I’m sorry, Tay.” He softened and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer and kissing my head. “How’s she doing?”

  “Good,” I said through my swollen throat.

  I couldn’t believe I lied to him.

  Even worse, I couldn’t believe I lied to my mother.

  “She asked about you.”

  “Did she?” he asked, his tone pitched a little higher. “Did you tell her we’re together?”

  “Uh…” I pulled away, wrapping my arms around myself. “It didn’t come up.”

  He frowned at me. “Oh.”

  “Did you tell your father…?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “I didn’t know how he would take it.”

  “Yeah. Same.”

  He said nothing.

  Just frowned at me.

  “You ready to study? Midterms are next week,” I asked with forced cheer.

  He nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”

  We walked in silence toward the building, me wallowing in guilt and him stonily silent. I sneaked a peek at him. He looked upset. Great. “How’d your appointment go?”

  “Okay. He said we should know by next week whether I’ll regain full mobility.” He rotated his shoulder as he spoke. It looked easier than before, so there was that. “I don’t think it’ll be a yes. I can tell it’s not completely healed.”

  “But it could be,” I said persistently. I knew how important it was to him to get back into the game. It was his life. His love. His heart. He held the door open for me, and I passed him into the building. “You don’t know yet. A lot can happen in a week.”

  “Yeah.” He frowned at his feet as we climbed the stairs to his dorm room. “It can.”

  “Did you—?”

  “Hey, whatever happened to Mister Fluffybottom?”

  I blinked, caught completely off-guard by the change of topic. “He fell apart.”

  “What? How?”

  “I don’t know; he just did.”

  “That’s
sad,” he said, his mouth tight. “When good things fall apart like that.”

  “Yeah. I miss him.” I stopped walking and touched his arm. He stopped, too. “Hey.”

  “What?” he asked, not looking at me.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked slowly.

  He didn’t answer. Just grabbed my hand and dragged me to his dorm room. The second he closed the door, he leaned on it. “Nothing’s wrong. Why do you think there is?”

  I laughed uneasily. “I don’t know, you just seem…off.”

  “Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you.” He locked eyes with me. “Maybe we’re both just putting things where they don’t belong. Maybe we’re both just scared to lose what we have.”

  I licked my lips. “Maybe.”

  “This is real, right?” He cleared his throat. “What we have?”

  “As real as real gets,” I admitted honestly.

  My feelings for him were 100 percent real. However, so was the ticking clock that hung over our heads, reminding me we wouldn’t be together forever.

  He had to hear it, too, right?

  It wasn’t just me.

  He pulled me into his arms. “But something’s bothering you.”

  It wasn’t a question.

  “I’m fine.”

  He cocked a brow.

  “No, seriously. I am.”

  He studied my face. “You’re sure?”

  Obviously, I wanted to tell him his father was threatening my parents, that if we stayed together they would lose everything and so would he, but if I did that, I ran the risk of him confronting his father and flipping out—and my parents could lose their jobs. I should tell him we couldn’t be together anymore, tell him that this was just a fling, even though it was so much more, but I couldn’t lie to him like that.

  We weren’t a fling. What I felt for him was real. I couldn’t tell him he meant nothing when he really was everything. I…I couldn’t hurt him like that.

  Like my mom said, it was only a matter of time until he realized he was better off with someone more like him. Only a matter of time until he hurt me.

  That was the acceptable way for this to end.

  He could hurt me all he wanted. He could break my heart, and tear it in two, and walk away with another woman—one like Amanda, who would fit into this world—and never even look back to see me crying and bleeding onto the sidewalk.