If a Tree Falls
Page 16
We would hear each other.
And we would listen.
I jumped into the fort, to be with my girls.
Acknowledgments
THE STORY I HAVE WRITTEN has more to do with emotional memory and imagination than with history. In writing about the people I love, I have inevitably rewritten them to fit with my own perception of truth. As Mark Doty says, “distortion is the betrayal built into memoir, into the telling of memories.” The story I have written is singly my own.
Thank you to Marilyn Abildskov, my mentor, for perceiving the light of my story and for nurturing me until I could see it myself. Thank you to Rebecca Gradinger, my agent, for recognizing the emotional heart of my work, and for always encouraging me to return to my writing table. Thank you to Gloria Jacobs, my editor—full of wisdom, grace, and warmth—and to everyone at the Feminist Press who brought their expertise and enthusiasm to the production of this book.
Gideon Yaffe read an early draft by headlamp at 2 a.m. the first night of a visit, and spent the subsequent days in thoughtful conversation with me as our kids rode endlessly on carousels. Becky Michaels read and re-read this book, and with her quiet brilliance found solutions to problems over which I’d still be scratching my head today. Diana Larkin and Missy Wick gave me countless hours of advice and lent me Northampton writing homes full of warmth and encouragement. Sarah Buss got me to Iowa City—my favorite of all writing places—and spoiled me every free minute I was there.
For years, I have sat, inspired, beside dear and extraordinary writers at workshops led by Robin Barber, Carol Edelstein, Linda McCullough Moore, and the MEOWS. Many wonderful friends have brought me wisdom about writing and parenting: Claudia Canale-Parola, Tracy Smith-Camenisch, T. Susie Chang, Barbara Considine, Nancy Garlock, Chaia Heller, Ann Hulley, Amy Kroin, Susan Leeds, Meredith Michaels, Julia Mintz, Robert Radin, Elaine Stinson, Stephanie Vargas, and Lynn Yanis.
Valerie Stanik, Phyllis Shushan, and Andrea Olkin helped me with family geneology. Liz Rosenberg supplied an eleventh-hour translation. Sarah Burkman, Liana Doyle, Lon Otto, and Sandra Scofield commented with discernment on earlier drafts. Marc Neisen helped me to unlock memories, and Lula Mae Asberry jumped at every opportunity to reminisce.
Sara Just and Keith Lucas have stood by me since the beginning. Cathy Bendor, the Karpels, Jennine Kirby, Lisa McLeod, the Millner/Newmans, Vance Ricks, Matthew Tarran, and Susan Verducci—ever true and lasting.
Janice Gatty brought Sophia and Juliet into the speaking world. Jean Ferris and Kathie Betts opened up all avenues of communication. Peter Kenny, Marilyn Neault, and Dennis Poe ministered to our every medical need. I can never repay them.
Becoming a parent has deepened my love and respect for my mother and father. Watching my daughters grow in their relationship with one another has strengthened my connection to my sister and my brothers. This book reveals a loneliness, a deafness I experienced within my family as a child. It is with open ears that I find myself received by them now.
My husband, Bill, with a tender, steady, and perceiving love, has journeyed with me on a circuitous path of loss to a wholeness we could have hardly imagined. I dedicate this book to him and to our daughters, Sophia and Juliet, who inspire me, improve me, and fill me, minute to minute, with joy and wonder.
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1 = Deaf and Dumb.
Published in 2010 by the Feminist Press
at the City University of New York
The Graduate Center
365 Fifth Avenue, Suite 5406
New York, NY 10016
feministpress.org
Text copyright © 2010 by Jennifer Rosner
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced or used, stored in any information retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission from the Feminist Press at the City University of New York, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and review.
First printing, May 2010
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Rosner, Jennifer
If a tree falls : a family’s quest to hear and be heard / by Jennifer Rosner. p. cm.
eISBN : 978-1-558-61691-2
1. Deaf children. 2. Families. I. Title.
HV2391.R67 2010
362.4’20922—dc22
[B]
2010004198