A Jarful of Moondreams: What Secrets Are Ready to Spill Out?

by Chrissie Bradshaw

  ‘OK. OK, I was just hoping you’d go a bit easy on her.’

  ‘Let’s hope she goes easy on me too.’

  ‘Shush... She’s coming back up.’

  ‘Bad news,’ Alex said, her eyes huge and round. ‘Betty’s slipped and broken her hip on the back patio. She’s going to be laid up for quite a while and she’ll have to stay with Pam until she’s mobile again.’

  ‘Oh dear, poor Betty,’ Teri groaned. ‘She said that patio was slippery and needed to be hosed down. She was hoping that one of her grandsons would do it now the weather is a bit warmer.’

  ‘Why was she waving to tell us that?’ asked Cleo.

  ‘Because she’s a neighbour and Pam knows that we care about her mother, Cleo.’ What a question! Teri couldn’t help thinking that Cleo could be exasperating at times.

  ‘And because she wanted us to know that Betty can’t look after Pharos while you’re away,’ said Alex. Her eyes were glinting with mischief as Teri looked from Alex to Cleo whose expression was sheer alarm.

  ‘What will happen to him now?’ asked Cleo.

  Teri was trying to find the right soothing words when Alex blurted out,

  ‘What the hell do you think will happen? Mum can’t just cancel. He’s old so he can’t go into a cattery for that length of time. We’ll have to take Pharos with us.’ Alex picked up Pharos and cradled him.

  Teri cringed as both sets of green eyes looked at Cleo, not a friendly expression between them.

  ‘Poor Pharos uprooted like me, at least we’ll have each other to comfort,’ soothed Alex.

  ‘Look girls let’s go across to the house and think all of this through.’ Teri was playing for time. She didn’t want to cancel her plans but she wasn’t sure that Cleo could cope with all of this after all. She had a stressful job and her city apartment wasn’t intended for a teen and a cat as well as the resident ex-boyfriend who seemed to be there all of the time nowadays.

  ‘You go across and start on the lunch, Mum. I’m going to be starving soon. Cleo and I will just practice this unlocking and locking of the safe and sort out how we’ll look after this old man.’ Alex was still cradling Pharos and looking at Cleo.

  Teri glanced at Cleo who nodded to her.

  ‘Right. I’ll get that joint of pork in the oven and prep the veg, then. You’ll lock up and be over soon?’

  Both girls nodded and she was struck by how alike their expressions were. Guarded, giving nothing away.

  Teri went downstairs and crossed over the courtyard to the house half relieved that she wasn’t part to the discussion that they were obviously going to have and half wishing she was there to act as a buffer. This is why I’m leaving them, so they can sort things out together, so they can rely on one another. She lit the oven and rummaged for the right roasting tin. If they can make a start with a decision like this, I’ll know it’s going to be OK to leave them together.

  Maybe Cleo should stay here and commute to work? That would be perfect, but no, it was a hundred mile round trip and she liked to be at work by seven. Cleo would see nothing of Alex either if all that driving was added to her day. Maybe she should just ask Mary to have Alex. It was all too hard to arrange.

  The kitchen door was open and Pharos came back first. ‘Hi, Pharos, what have my two girls decided to do with you?’ Teri picked Pharos up and carried him, in his favourite position looking over her shoulder, to sit beside her on the bench by the back door. ‘Oh, Pharos, it’s becoming very complicated.’ Teri bent over the cat and scratched under his chin setting up a loud purr. ‘Just to get away would’ve been so good. To know that the girls loved one another and could rely on one another would be all I could ever wish for but maybe it’s not meant to be,’ she whispered into his fur.

  Both felt a jolt of surprise as a tear rolled down her cheek and mingled with his fur. Pharos leapt onto her lap and stretched to nudge her face. Hugging him to her chest, she released a river of held back emotion and he let her soak his majestic, silver spotted coat until he looked more bedraggled than he had ever done in his entire seventeen years.

  Teri had washed her face, put some makeup on and had the Sunday roast well underway when the girls came over. Alex went upstairs to change and shower and Cleo took a bottle of pinot out of the fridge.

  ‘Would you like a glass before lunch, Mum?’ A calm, pleasant request, Teri was relieved that she seemed happy considering the time she’d spent in the studio with Alex.

  ‘It’s a bit early for me.’

  ‘It’s just after twelve. And you’ve got something to celebrate.’

  ‘Have I?’

  ‘Yes. Landing me with an ungrateful cat and with Alex for weeks on end.’

  Cleo’s smile told Teri that she was OK about it all. She had said ungrateful about the cat but not Alex, that was a start. Oh yes, she was ready to celebrate now.

  ‘Better pour me a large one before you change your mind.’

  Alex came downstairs just in time for lunch and she was smiling too. They had a laidback family meal that Teri really savoured, because there weren’t many of them.

  It was late afternoon when Cleo gathered her things together to head back to Newcastle. As she hugged Teri goodbye, she added, ‘Not long before you start your adventure, Mum. I’m proud of you for going after what you want, at your age.’

  ‘At my age! I’m not fifty yet, I’ll have you know I’m in my prime.’ Teri grinned and gave Cleo a push towards the door. She waved until the little sports car was out of sight.

  The sky, streaked with pink, promised a fair day tomorrow and a pale waning gibbous moon shone over High Rigg. At my age indeed, she hugged her excited feelings to her chest. Yes, I’m finally doing something just for me and I’m loosening you two from my apron strings. Closing the door, she grinned to herself, she never wore an apron but those two had strings wrapped tightly around her heart.

  Teri’s thoughts were interrupted by Alex calling from upstairs.

  ‘Is she gone?’

  ‘She is my darling. Did you want to say goodbye?’

  ‘No I did not!’ Alex leaned over the banister, ‘She was up here giving orders again before she left. Mum, is she actually serious? Do you believe it when she says I can take two cases max? Is she an airline or something? No clutter in her precious apartment. I hope you appreciate what it takes for me to keep my mouth zipped when she spouts off.’

  MEAD MOON

  13

  Teri gave a final wave to the girls and walked through to departures. She had done it. For the first time, since she was seventeen and found out she was pregnant with Cleo, Teri only had herself to think about. Weird! Scary. She felt weightless, not sure who she was when she was adrift from her usual ties. After this short breakfast flight from Newcastle to Heathrow, she would be boarding a flight straight through to Cairo.

  As she sauntered through the departures lounge at Heathrow, Teri was without a care in the world, well hardly a care. She still felt slightly guilty about leaving Pharos and Alex with Cleo even though she thought it was for a good cause in the long term. They’d pull together. Was she sure or trying to convince herself?

  There was the health niggle too. She’d been told she could ring for an appointment to receive her MRI and other test results after two weeks and she hadn’t done that last week. No excuse for that, she had thought long and hard and decided to wait until she returned from her trip. That way, the source of her bone pain remained unknown to her, it didn’t become a huge dark cloud threatening her future.

  Teri had to spend a couple of hours between flights in the departures area. A nail bar quiet so, instead of going for a coffee and watching the clock, she decided to treat her hands to a makeover with the lovely gel nails they offered.

  ‘Are you going somewhere exciting?’ asked the pretty young girl who looked about Alex’s age.

  ‘Yes, I’m off to explore Egypt.’ Teri was happy to tell the nail technician all the details of her trip, she could talk about the wonders of Egypt for
ever.

  As she was paying for her treatment, the gel varnish had dried instantly, so she could reach into her purse, when her phone rang. One of the girls already? Only a handful of people had her mobile number. She glanced at her phone’s display and the name illuminated on the screen was that of her consultant, Mr Amonkar. She left her phone ringing; she certainly didn’t want to take that call.

  Once she boarded the plane for Cairo, Teri settled into her seat and took out the e-reader that she had been given by Cleo for Christmas. Alex had helped her to load it with some new novels and a few of her favourite books on Egypt, but she still packed several more. For Teri, her hard copies of reference books, annotated over years of reading; were irreplaceable.

  Teri noticed that her neighbour had a tattered copy of a guide to Cairo that she hadn’t seen before. She tried to get a better view of the title and he caught her looking. She’d better say something.

  ‘Sorry for looking over your shoulder. I just can’t resist travel guides on Egypt and I haven’t seen that one before.’ Warm brown eyes under heavy black brows appraised her. He was a good looking young man, she guessed he wa slightly older than Cleo. Would Cleo have liked him?

  ‘I’ve had this for a while and it was second hand. I don’t know if it will still be in print. Would you like to look through it? I’m going to read this complementary paper first.’ He handed the book to her.

  Teri couldn’t resist, ‘Thanks, I’ll just make a note of the title and authors and I might be able find it on my e-book later.’ She quickly became engrossed in the photographs of treasures to be seen in the museum of Cairo.

  The drinks trolley came around and she asked for champagne. Her neighbour chose a can of beer.

  ‘Is this a celebration for you?’ he asked nodding at the champagne.

  ‘Yes, in a way, but I do love champagne anyway.’

  He seemed really friendly and pleasant to talk to. Teri handed him his book back. ‘Thanks for lending me your guide. It just makes me want to get there and see everything. Have you been to Egypt before?’

  ‘Yes, I’m there a lot. I’m doing a stint as a guide for an English company. Have you heard of ‘Travel4Adventure’? They do tours, for solo travellers mainly. I’m picking up my group tomorrow and we’ll explore Cairo together before they move on to other destinations.’

  ‘That sounds like a wonderful job. I’m not a ‘joiner in’, I love just wandering around on my own, but it must be good to have an experienced guide at hand.’

  ‘I’m not that experienced as a guide and I’m not that great at organisation but I like meeting new people and I know the sights of Egypt quite well, so the company put up with me. I’m an archaeologist... taking a ‘sort of sabbatical’ and I’m doing the guide stuff to fund my own travels later in the year. There are so many places that I need to see. What about you?’ He gazed at Teri with interest.

  ‘What about me? Well, the place I’ve always wanted to visit since I was at school is Egypt. I’m just amazed that it’s happening at last.’

  ‘That’s some wait.’

  Teri laughed at his incredulous expression, ‘I know, I’m ancient. A late starter in travelling.’

  ‘Oh no, sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. It just seems like a long time to realise your dream.’

  ‘I know exactly what you mean. I’m from a different generation and things got in the way of my dreams but now it’s my time. Oh that sounds much more grandiose than I meant,’ she smiled. Those bubbles and the altitude must be having a giddy effect. Here she was chatting about dreams to a complete stranger. A handsome stranger with dark curly hair tied back into a thick ponytail and a stubbled face. On second thoughts, he wouldn’t be Cleo’s type at all.

  ‘Shall we have another drink to celebrate your dream?’ he buzzed for their hostess and they sat back in a comfortable silence.

  ‘I’m Greg, by the way.’ He clinked his can towards her glass.

  ‘Teri, Teri Moon.’ She smiled and took a sip of delicious crisp, cool bubbles.

  ‘Unusual name. Mine’s Greg Smith. Very ordinary.’

  ‘I had a very ordinary name too, Greg, until I changed it.’ Had she really said that? Told a total stranger one of her best kept secrets.

  ‘Through marriage?’ he asked.

  ‘No, I didn’t change my name when I married. I changed it much earlier to escape a previous life.’ Now she really had said it.

  ‘I’m guessing that’s an interesting tale, Teri Moon. We have plenty of time so, if you don’t mind, you can tell me exactly why you did such a thing.’

  Teri looked into his eager eyes and was happy with his readiness to chat to her on their journey and thought, why not?

  ‘I suppose I should start from where I started life. I was Margaret Donaldson; pretty ordinary eh? I was the only child of Liz and Bobby Donaldson and we lived in Elswick, on the outskirts of Newcastle. My mother had me when she was in her late thirties and you’d have thought she’d be thrilled to have a little girl later in life. She was happy enough but her one aim was for me to excel. I had to succeed, to be perfect at everything that Mother wanted me to do. Dad didn’t have a look in; he worked hard, provided for the family and I knew that he loved me whatever I did but, my mother, she was different. I had to be perfectly behaved, always clean and tidy, always top of the class or else she’d be so annoyed and let down and we knew it.

  It was lucky that I was fairly easy going because I accepted that Mother was just like that and I did my level best to be the daughter she wanted. I was someone who kept Liz Donaldson happy. Passing for grammar school was the first time that my mother had been really delighted with me and I made sure that I never slipped behind with my studies. When I think of that girl now, it seems like someone else.’ Teri was lost in her own thoughts of working hard and trying to please until she caught Greg’s glance and realised that he was waiting for her to carry on.

  ‘You were going to explain how Margaret became Teri,’ he reminded her.

  ‘Oh yes. Well, when Margaret got to her teens there were rows.’ It was much easier to talk about Margaret as another person. She thought of her as that, someone from her past. ‘The usual teen rows about going out and staying with friends, but her dad often took a stand and, as long as Margaret continued to do well at school, her mother allowed her some freedom. Friends weren’t often invited to her home though. If they did, Liz would hover around and ask questions. She constantly compared the other girls, in a critical way, to her wonderful Margaret and they felt uncomfortable going there. Margaret ended up in sixth form with one or two good friends who understood her home life was difficult and didn’t expect invitations back to her house.’

  ‘You shouldn’t do that, you know. You’re talking about yourself, what made you what you are today. Don’t discount yourself.’ His eyes were young, but Teri could sense that he’d known hard times; he understood.

  ‘It’s less painful that way, but I agree. I should remember that Margaret’s bloody awful upbringing made me what I am now. Her...sorry... My parents never knew if I was seeing a boy or not because I didn’t chat to my mother like the other girls did with theirs and it wasn’t until I had been seeing Ralph Fenwick for almost six months that I mentioned it to my mother at all.

  I knew it might be OK because Ralph was the head teacher’s son and just the sort of boy that my mother wanted me to mix with. He was polite and, when he called for me, oh how my mother gushed and preened.

  Ralph was really good fun and a real character when he was away from his own strict parents and out of sight of mine, but my mother didn’t know that. We understood, we glimpsed one another’s oppressive home background and loved getting out and going to other friends’ houses. We were both determined to leave home and applying for Oxford was our main escape route.

  We knew that if we didn’t get in to one of the ‘prestigious’ colleges there, the parents would expect us to opt for Newcastle, ‘a fine red brick university,’ and we would both be living at
home for years. We worked hard and were the only two from our grammar school to be accepted that year. My mother was ecstatic and my dad went along with it. They had saved since I was born for this; their daughter was going to read History at Oxford.’

  ‘Did you change your name when you got to Oxford?’ Teri shook her head, couldn’t look at Greg. This was the most painful part of Margaret’s story, of her story.

  ‘I didn’t get there; it all went wrong for Margaret...for me, when I found out I was pregnant. My mother went ballistic and made me go to a home out in the country to have the baby – and this was the early eighties, in the days when far more families accepted having babies when you weren’t married. My mother wasn’t accepting at all. She wanted nobody to know and Ralph’s dad, my head teacher, was only too happy to contribute towards the nursing home and keep his son right away from the gossip. Dad said nothing, not to me anyway, and Ralph and I had no say in the matter and so I was bundled off.

  My withdrawal from school was explained briefly to staff and friends. I had apparently panicked about A levels and didn’t want to finish my course. I was going to do a secretarial course instead. I heard my Mother telling Dad that two of the staff who knew I had potential thought this was foolish and went to the Head to offer to talk to me, but they were told to concentrate on their other students, those with staying power.

  Dad asked Mum if they could look after my baby and give me a chance but she cut him off, saying there was no way that would happen.

  One morning they told me to pack a few things and I was dropped at a nursing home, but I didn’t stay. I couldn’t. I’d been given cash to pay the matron of the home, but I only got as far as the entrance before I did an about turn.’

  ‘How did you manage that?’ Greg seemed intrigued.

  She remembered it all so clearly.

  ‘They drove me to a handsome stone house that was totally hidden from the road by thick trees and high walls. The driveway was long and ended in a curved vehicle-turning circle outside, with wide steps up to double doors. I had expected doom and gloom and bars across the windows but it looked just like a country house; dull and out of the way. Dad got my case out and I stood there shuffling my feet on the gravel as he went to help Mum out.