A Jarful of Moondreams: What Secrets Are Ready to Spill Out?

by Chrissie Bradshaw

  He allowed Cleo to pick him up from the bonnet; he felt light but he was Pharos all right. He yowled to be put down and then led the way around the back to the kitchen door where he slid through the cat flap.

  She looked up at the Harvest moon and said a big thank you. One wish granted! She didn’t know how that old cat had found his way fifty miles back to Dunleith but he was here and he was shouting for supper, so he must be OK.

  Stretching out by the fire with Pharos lying on her chest and purring louder than the crackling logs, Cleo felt her eyes grow heavy and her body relax for the first time in a week. A noise in the hallway made her sit bolt upright, her heart thumping. Had someone broken in? The door opened and Alex’s silhouette was framed in the doorway.

  ‘Cleo, I saw your car but the houselights were all off. Why are you in the dark?’ She switched a lamp on.

  ‘Hi Alex, I must’ve dozed off. You gave me a shock there.’

  ‘I’ve popped in to say hello and sorry.’ Alex knelt down and cuddled Pharos.

  ‘Hello old boy, have you missed me?’ She turned towards Cleo, ‘He feels scrawny, is he OK?’

  Yes, he is now. There’s a nightmare of a story to tell you about him but, first, I want to apologise to you about last weekend.’

  ‘No, I think I need to say sorry for meddling, Cleo. I shouldn’t have done it.’

  ‘Maybe not, but it was for the right reasons so I’m sorry I had such a go at you.’

  Alex grinned, ‘Oh OK then, I’ll let you apologise most because it doesn’t happen often.’

  Cleo threw a cushion from the floor at her.

  ‘I’ve hated this week,’ Alex confided as she plonked onto the cushion and sat beside Cleo.

  ‘Me too, It’s much better when we are both on the same side.’

  ‘Look, I’m going to ring Mrs. Collingwood and say that, while you’re here, I’m staying over. Is that ok?’

  ‘That would be lovely,’ Cleo assured her.

  ‘We can catch up.’ Alex grinned at her and added, ‘Dan tells me you’ve been investigating the family tree and have lots of news, so it had better be good.’

  Before bed that evening, Alex took a post-it and scribbled on it for a while.

  ‘It’s not a new or a full moon, but I need to put a fresh wish into our moondream jar.’

  ‘Can you pass one over? I’ll do one too,’ Cleo asked.

  ‘Shall we swap to read them like we used to with Mum?’ asked Alex. ‘Or do you want to keep yours private?’

  ‘Here, you can see mine.’ Cleo passed hers over.

  They both read one another’s and smiled at each other. They’d written the same wish.

  ‘We won’t have Mum home for her birthday but what do you say that we prepare a celebratory lunch for Sunday and invite all the Collingwoods for being so lovely to us?’ Cleo suggested.

  ‘We can put up balloons and we’ll make a chocolate cake to eat in Mum’s honour,’ Alex said.

  Cleo was glad that Alex was taken with the plan.

  ‘Could I invite someone else? If they could make it that is?’ Alex asked.

  ‘Yes, whoever you want. Who are you thinking of?’

  ‘Will, the karate guy.’ Alex flushed.

  ‘Oh yes, I saw you, on Monday, getting a lift from him. I think it’s my turn to listen to your tale now. Are you two an item?

  ‘Cleo!’ Alex yelled, then shrugged, ‘I wish...’

  Before going to bed, Alex slipped another note into their jar. Maybe Will would stay for lunch on Sunday and, for once, he would see her when she wasn’t in crisis. She’d phone him tomorrow and try to sound cool about it.

  44

  Cleo listened at her sister’s door. She felt happy just hearing her steady breathing. She was here and asleep and they were under one roof with Mum’s silver boy safely tucked up in the garden room. Family was more important than anything else; she had learnt a hard lesson over the past few months and she knew that she wanted to be part of this and part of Dan’s family.

  Things would work out. Even if Mum was away, they could talk and she’d see that they had celebrated her birthday on Sunday. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day of shopping and preparations but it would be fun.

  She’d just turned her light off and was snuggled under the duvet when she heard a sound, almost like the pattering of rain. She waited; there it was again against her window. She smiled as she leaned over and looked through the window to see Dan waving her down. As she went downstairs to open the door, she knew that he’d be cock-a-hoop to catch her in her faded teddy ensemble again.

  Dunleith church bell struck one as Cleo studied the contours of Dan’s face in the firelight. He dozed peacefully with Pharos stretched out over his legs. Lying on her tummy, by Dan’s side, she enjoyed the dwindling glow from the logs on the fire.

  The ring of her phone startled them both out of their loved-up relaxed state and, as always, Cleo’s immediate thought was about her mum. Was she safe? She checked her phone but it was an unknown number.

  ‘Hello?’ she kept her voice down even though Alex had been asleep for a couple of hours.

  ‘Am I speaking to Miss Moon?’

  ‘Yes, I’m Cleo Moon. Who is this?’

  ‘I’m ringing you from Sunny Court, Miss Moon. Robert Donaldson, Bobby, gave us your name as his next of kin just this week.’

  Goosebumps and shivers made her voice tremble ‘That’s right, I’m his granddaughter. Is something wrong?’

  The last ember of the fire flickered and died as she heard, ‘I’m sorry but it’s not good news. Bobby’s been having chest pains and we think it’s his heart. He’s in an ambulance and on his way to the Royal Victoria Infirmary as we speak.’

  She managed, ‘Thanks, I’ll be there.’ Grabbing hold of Dan’s hand, she sobbed, ‘It’s Grandad.’

  This is surreal thought Alex. She’d been woken by Cleo and was sitting in the back of Dan’s car in a jumper and joggers heading for the hospital to see a grandfather that she’d never met. She had the choice to go with them or stay at home but Cleo so upset and she wouldn’t have gone back to sleep so she agreed to go. Cleo looked dreadful; this had really upset her. She’d talked for ages about their Grandad Bobby tonight and had been excited about taking Alex to meet him; not like this though.

  Alex felt strange. It was sad, but he was ninety and she hadn’t met him. You’d think Cleo had known him for years. It could be like that with some people because she felt like that about Will. The roads were absolutely empty; just the odd truck but no real traffic so they’d be at the RVI in an hour. She hoped, for Cleo’s sake, that their grandfather wasn’t dead when they got there. She concentrated on catching sight of the harvest moon as it slipped in and out of view and pleaded, ‘Work your magic for just a bit longer on the old man.’

  They were directed to intensive care and Alex could hardly look at the still figure with tubes and machines all around him. This was her mum’s father but he wasn’t familiar to her. It hurt her to see Cleo, looking so full of sorrow and gently massaging one of his hands. She was whispering and talking as if willing him to awaken.

  ‘I’m going to go and get a can of coke or something, Dan,’ she whispered and made for the door.

  ‘Wait a sec,’ he walked over, said something to Cleo and then came back to the door. ‘I’ll come with you.’ He put an arm around her and they went in search of a drinks machine. They found a machine by some sofas and decided on hot chocolate.

  ‘Dan, I’m sorry for Cleo but I don’t really know my grandfather and I feel awful. I’m just numb and sad for Cleo,’ Alex confessed as they sipped their drinks.

  ‘That’s OK. That’s why I’m here too. We don’t know him but we can support Cleo and hope he turns a corner.’

  ‘Will he, Dan? Do you think he will?’

  ‘Alex, I’m a doctor but I’m not a psychic,’ was his gentle reply. ‘All I know is that he’s in great hands here.’

  After an hour, they left the hospital and
drove to Cleo’s apartment so they’d be nearby, as they waited for news. Alex was bone weary and ready to roll into bed just as she was. She reached the door and caught a glance between Dan and Cleo. Too good to miss.

  ‘I don’t mind you two sharing tonight but mind you, no gross noises while I’m here.’

  ‘Go to bed, Alex. We’re all too tired.’ Cleo managed a smile.

  Hmm, her big sister was catching on to her wind ups.

  45

  By mid-day on Saturday, Teri could hardly contain her excitement. She was waiting at Heathrow for her flight to Newcastle and it was time to phone Cleo’s apartment. She would call Cleo and then ring the Collingwood’s to speak to Alex.

  To her surprise, Alex picked up. ‘Hello Darling. What are you doing at Cleo’s? Have you two made up?’

  ‘Oh, hi Mum, yes we’re sound. I’ll just go and get Cleo to speak to you.’ Teri was delighted that Alex was there but, from her tone, she didn’t seem to be herself.

  Cleo came on the line. ‘Hi Mum.’ She didn’t sound grand either.

  ‘I’m glad you two have made up, sweetheart, but why do you both sound so glum?’ This wasn’t the homecoming that Teri had expected.

  ‘Oh Mum! It’s bloody awful here, but you’re so far away and I don’t know where to start.’

  Teri hated to hear Cleo upset, ‘I was about to tell you that I’m waiting at Heathrow for my Newcastle flight. Does that help?’

  ‘Oh yes, Mum. Thank goodness you’re back. We’re both in Newcastle so we’ll pick you up from the airport’

  ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘Just get here, Mum,’ Cleo begged, ‘we’ll explain it when we see you.’

  Teri put her phone in her pocket. What a welcome after twelve weeks away. There was nothing wrong with the two girls, she’d spoken to them both but she’d couldn’t wait to get there to see what was upsetting them.

  ‘Did you get through?’ Greg asked when he came back with two coffees.

  ‘There’s some sort of emergency, they didn’t say what it was. Sorry Greg, this wasn’t the way I wanted you to meet my family.’

  ‘I’m just glad to be here with you. Come on, let’s find the gate.’

  Teri was surprised to see that it was Dan, on his own, who met them from the plane. She watched closely but he didn’t flicker as she introduced him to Greg - just a handshake and a friendly smile and then he led them to the car park saying, ‘Wait until we get to the car and I’ll tell you what’s been going on,’

  As they walked along, Teri broke the silence by asking about Pharos, since the last skype session, she had steeled herself to hearing that he was lost and her heart soared when she heard that he had made the long journey home.

  ‘He’s heard me read ‘The Incredible Journey’ to both of the girls. He just knew it was time to stop being a city cat and went on his own trek home.’

  Dan looked at her with a puzzled frown and hadn’t a clue what she was talking about but Greg just smiled and gave her a wink and said, ‘Clever cat, can’t wait to meet him.’ She loved Greg because he just got her.

  Taking Greg up on his offer to travel back with her had crept up on her quite surprisingly. She had tried to imagine going back to a world without him but couldn’t deny that Greg had become a part of her life. She couldn’t just cast him off and she realised that she didn’t even want to. Her only concern was whether her girls liked him and why shouldn’t they? He was wonderful to her and he made her happy. Cleo was often teasing her about finding a new man; well now she had.

  She was feeling tense and still waiting for Dan to break some sort of serious news to them because he looked preoccupied. Deciding that she couldn’t wait a moment longer, she asked him,

  ‘Dan, I have to know. What’s up? Who’s in trouble? What are the girls upset about?

  ‘I’ve been trying to find the right words. Sorry to be so blunt, Teri, but Cleo has tracked down some of your relatives, her grandparents… your mother and father and now your father is in the RVI. It’s his heart and it doesn’t look great. They want me to take you right there.’

  ‘Say all that again.’ Teri was stunned.

  She had heard correctly. Here was Dan Collingwood telling her that Cleo had visited Middle Row. Cleo had talked to her mother and had discovered her dad was actually alive. Alive. She’d blamed herself for giving him a heart attack years ago and her mother had lied. Well, if not an outright lie, she’d been mean enough to deceive her. Right now, her two girls were sitting by her father’s bedside and she was going to see him. She would never, ever have guessed that she’d see this day.

  It took Dan a while to find a parking space. The RVI had been modernised and she didn’t know her way around this massive complex. Where was her dad? Now that she was so near, she couldn’t wait another minute. They stopped at a café in a large atrium; Greg would wait there while she went with Dan to intensive care. It seemed to take forever to get to the wing that they needed.

  Teri looked into the half-shuttered window. Alex and Cleo were sitting side by side and Alex had her arm around Cleo. This was her moondream jar wish come true. It had finally been granted but was there a price for that? Had the jar finally spilled out all of her secrets?

  She could hardly comprehend who she was about to see, the father that she believed she’d killed by grief or shame.

  She tiptoed in and there were whispered hellos and hugs. It was so good to hold her girls again but her eyes were drawn to the bed in the centre of the room.

  She walked to the bedside and looked down on Dad’s face… she drank in all the details, studied the lines that had appeared over their years apart, noticed how his hair had turned white. She was pleased to see him looking peaceful. He wasn’t in pain.

  ‘Hello Dad,’ she said and took his hand. She squeezed it and sat by him. ‘It’s …It’s Margaret, Dad.’ She glanced at the girls but they didn’t seem surprised by her using the name. Well, they wouldn’t, clearly they’d read her teenage diaries.

  Kissing his cheek, she explained, ‘I’m sorry that I haven’t seen you, Dad. I really thought that you were gone. Mum told me, she was so angry and she blamed me for being… for being the death of you. I never imagined her lying.’ She thought she felt a squeeze on her hand. Could he hear her? Oh, she hoped he could.

  ‘I’m glad you met Cleo,’ she whispered. ‘She’s brought Alex, her sister, to meet you today.’

  There it was again. That was a definite squeeze of her hand. ‘Alex, come over here,’ she called. ‘I think Grandad is saying that he wants to meet you.’

  Alex, who had been looking out of the window, turned and walked over to the bedside.

  ‘Look who’s here, Dad.’ In her heart, she was begging. Please wake up, please say hello.

  Her eyes never left his face and she sat forward the moment her father opened his eyes, they glazed but then brightened when he looked up and focussed on Alex.

  He smiled, ‘Ah, Margaret my sunshine, you’re back. So, so glad.’

  He was looking at Alex. He’d heard her voice and he thought he was seeing her- the teenage Margaret - when he gazed at Alex. He gave her hand a tight squeeze before he let out a quiet sigh and closed his eyes. Dad was very tired; she knew that this had been an effort.

  A machine emitted a strange beep pattern and then one long tone. Keep clutching Dad’s hand. Hearing is the last thing to go. She’d read that somewhere.

  ‘It’s all right Dad. We’re all here and we love you so very much. Just you rest and we’ll stay by you. We love you, Dad. We really do.’

  ‘Get someone!’ Cleo stood up but Teri stretched her hand over the bed, lay it over Cleo’s and shook her head. He’d gone. Dad was at peace.

  Alex started to cry, ‘He thought I was you, Mum, didn’t he?’

  ‘Yes, and that made him very happy.’ Teri sobbed.

  ‘No Grandad, not now!’ Cleo called out and buzzed for a nurse but Teri knew that Bobby Donaldson had gone.

  She was lucky that
she’d been just in time to see him with her girls, just for a moment. So many wasted years due to that bitter woman. Her regrets wouldn’t bring back Dad. Teri held his cool hand in both of hers, it still had the callouses from working with tools. She closed her eyes and silently thanked him for being her father and for acknowledging Cleo. He hadn’t turned her daughter away.

  She leaned forward and kissed his brow. In a few minutes, she would leave the dad that she had loved and she would introduce her girls to Greg, the man she loved now. She didn’t know how they’d react but she would love them all and leave the three of them to find their own place with one another. Life was finite and fragile and she was determined to make the most of every last dram of hers.

  Alex was glad that she could shed tears over her grandfather at last. When he’d looked at her and called her Margaret she’d wanted extra time with him; time to get to know him just a little. Her grandmother must be a very cruel woman to have done what she did to the family.

  They left the ward and headed for the café where Mum’s friend, Greg, was waiting. The minute she saw Mum with Greg, she knew that they weren’t just ‘friends’. He hugged Mum and kept looking at her in such a concerned way. Greg seemed OK. Fancy Mum going for someone with a ponytail. She was glad he wasn’t an old man; she already had a Mum who was a bit older so it was good to see that Greg had a bit of life about him.

  She wasn’t sure about how she’d feel about her mum having a boyfriend staying over; that hadn’t happened before. Maybe, at last, Mum would agree to her having the spare bedroom in the barn beside the workroom? Her own space in the barn; that would be really cool.

  It wasn’t going to happen this weekend anyway because the grownups had decided that Teri would go to High Rigg and spend time there with her and Cleo while Dan and Greg stayed at Mariner’s Wharf for the weekend to give them some space.