Awakening

by Rebel Miller

  “Take what you need, Gannon.”

  Gannon had been panting, looking like he had just run a race. But when I offered myself to him, the change that came over him sent a delicious shiver up my spine despite the warmth of the water running down my breasts and between my thighs. He rolled his shoulders back as he ran his eyes over me, heat burning bright in his clear blue eyes. His breathing evened out almost instantly.

  He turned off the shower and stepped out of the stall. I enjoyed watching as he quickly ran a towel over his body. When he was done, I reached for the towel, but he held it away from me.

  “I want you wet,” he said before grabbing the soft belt from my jacket off the floor and striding into the bedroom. I took a moment to catch my breath and followed him like he knew I would.

  Gannon stood in front of the bed. As soon as I approached him, he sank his fingers into my damp hair and kissed me until my legs became unsteady.

  “Lie down,” he said, nudging me toward the bed.

  Once I was settled on my back, he climbed between my legs and bent his head to lick the droplets off the skin between my thighs. With my hips tilted up, I begged him to focus on the aching need burgeoning so close to his mouth, but he kept to his ascent, stopping at my navel, where he lapped in the well of it. I laughed at the tickling sensation and he grinned, lifting his head. Then he leaned back on his heels to reach for the belt.

  “Close your eyes,” he said, holding the wide piece of cloth taut between two hands.

  I eyed him, but he simply repeated the order. With an exaggerated sigh, I did as he asked. He leaned down to place the fabric over my eyes. When his fingers curved around the back of my head, I raised it, allowing him to make a firm knot.

  “Have you done this with anyone before?” he asked, adjusting the cloth.

  “You mean while not eating sweets?”

  He chuckled. “Yes, while not eating sweets.”

  I shook my head.

  “Are you scared?”

  I shook it again, without hesitation.

  “If you get scared, you tell me to stop. You understand?”

  I nodded, knowing I would never have to.

  “Answer me.”

  “Yes.”

  I was blinded now by the soft material. Everything in the room became centered on my other senses — hearing, touch, taste and smell. My skin tingled at the heightened awareness of everything around me, including Gannon’s dominant energy. Even though he wasn’t touching me, I could feel his eyes traveling over me. The bed dipped as he moved, and I reached out reflexively for him. He grasped my hand and licked the inside of my wrist, sending heavy tremors through my body, before lowering himself on top of me.

  His weight was welcome. It centered me and reassured me that, in the midst of all the chaos and uncertainty in our worlds, what we had between us was real, even if just for the moment. While we devoured each other’s mouths, the thick head of his cock nudged my sex. I had only a few moments to adjust before he thrust into me to the hilt. I cried out as Gannon dug deep. My body tightened around him, greedily trying to keep him in when he started to withdraw. I moaned when he pummeled into me once again.

  I roamed his body with my hands, relishing the sound and the taste of his panting breath between my lips. My palms slid across the wide expanse of his back and then up through the silkiness of his hair. It wasn’t enough. I dug my fingers into his upper arms, trying to pull him down to me, but he resisted.

  “Gannon,” I whispered.

  “Yes?”

  “Please.”

  “Please stop?” he asked, slowing his thrusts.

  “No!”

  He chuckled then resumed his pace.

  “Please kiss me,” I said, gripping his arms even tighter.

  The bed dipped as he shifted his weight. A moment later, Gannon’s mouth came down harshly over mine. My bottom lip stung where his teeth nipped its sensitive flesh. He whispered a quick word of apology and massaged the bruised area with his tongue.

  His pace increased now. With deep and powerful thrusts, Gannon brought me to the excruciating edge of pleasure and back as he dominated my body. He angled his hips higher, driving into me, giving me what I needed. Still my body shuddered and clenched desperately around his cock, demanding that he give me more.

  The slick walls of my sex quivered, grasping at him, so dangerously close to release. He rested his forehead just below my neck and grunted as he powered forward, surging into me with the single-minded purpose of reaching climax.

  “Please,” I begged, this time for mercy.

  Gannon raised his head, resting his mouth close by my ear. “Come for me, lahra.”

  In the next instant, my body tightened like a coil and came apart in a violent release. Shards of white-hot pleasure swept through it, exploding from my core and lighting up every part of my being. I cried out his name as he groaned, his fingers digging into my waist. All of a sudden, Gannon tensed above me then pulsed heavily inside me as he came in a potent rush. He thrust again, forcing my body to take even more of him. I whimpered around a slight pinch of pain even as I widened my thighs, taking everything he had to give.

  I started shaking, but it wasn’t our release that caused it. It was the unspoken and profound emotion I tried so hard to hide. Despite my efforts to hold some part of myself back from Gannon, when he took me this way, I knew that he could see into my very soul.

  Chest heaving, he raised his head and with gentle fingers removed the belt from my eyes. While my sight adjusted to the light, he kissed me with such passion that my heart ached. Finally, he pulled away and brushed damp strands of my hair away from the sides of my face.

  “I love you,” he said with an equal mix of promise and wonder.

  I took a swift breath as my eyes fell to his chest.

  Gannon wrapped a hand under my jaw and lifted my chin so that I had no choice but to raise my eyes to his.

  “Say it,” he challenged, forcing himself deeper into my body, imprinting himself into my very soul. “I can see it in your eyes. Tell me.”

  Tears stung my eyes and I blinked, turning my head out of his hold. I couldn’t do it. I knew what he wanted. He wanted me to tell him I loved him too, but that wasn’t something I was prepared to do. Gannon seemed to think that as long as we loved each other, everything would be all right, but that was an optimist’s dream. In my mind, it would mean sealing a doomed fate. If I loved him, then I would protect him, even from himself.

  Gannon dropped his head with a heavy sigh, resting his forehead against my breast. His warm breath skimmed my belly as he wrapped his arms around my waist, his weight pressing me deeper into the bed. For a few moments, I stroked his hair, waiting for this familiar angst-riddled moment to pass so we could keep on pretending we had forever.

  Eventually, he raised his head, a look of resolve etched into his face as he leaned forward, his lips close to mine. “I can’t lose you, Kira,” Gannon whispered. “Promise me, no matter what happens, you won’t leave me.”

  I swallowed away the spike of angry frustration that pierced my heart. Gannon had told me repeatedly that he loved me, yet, out of fear, despite wanting to say them with every fiber of my being, those words stuck in my throat. He needed me to give him some sort of commitment. But he was asking for something beyond both of us, so it seemed I would have to give him the part of me that I could without hesitation. After all, it wasn’t a matter of whether I would leave Gannon. The truth was, I lived with the knowledge that one day he would leave me. I rested a hand at the side of his jaw, looking into his eyes.

  “I promise, Gannon,” I said with a smile. “I will never leave you.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  “You will resign from the Judiciary immediately!” Khelan roared.

  I slumped down and allowed the back of my head to drop against the couch. It was best to let this ride itself out. For what had felt like each second of the two days since I had returned to Prospect Eight, my family, especially my newl
y revealed father, had taken every opportunity to voice their opinions on my trip to Septima Two. It was a little late in coming. Nevertheless, as I sat there in the middle of our sitting area, they still felt the need to share their thoughts with me — and repeatedly, at that.

  “We should have never allowed you to go,” Da muttered, standing in front of me with his hands fisted at his hips. There was a fair amount of guilt in his green eyes as he looked me over. “You could have been killed.”

  “I know she’s supposed to be of legal age, but I say we lock her up. I’m not sure we can trust her judgment,” Rhoan offered from a chair across the room. His eyes, so similar to Da’s, flashed angrily as he leaned forward, elbows locked on his knees.

  I ignored Da and Rhoan, who were acting as if I were twelve instead of twenty-one, and eyed Khelan incredulously. “Weren’t you the one demanding I remain at the Judiciary just a short time ago?”

  “Don’t be smart with me,” he warned. “That was before I realized the danger it could bring you.”

  Gabriel’s assault on me flickered through my mind. I thinned my lips, thanking the gods that my family didn’t know that my job had actually become dangerous before Septima. “I’m fine,” I said. “I have only a sore wrist to show for it.” I flexed my wrist. “Others came out much worse.”

  “Yes, Tai did say you were well taken care of,” Rhoan said, censure blazing bright in his eyes.

  I skewered him with a glare, which he answered with a deep scowl.

  It was three days after the attack before the Realm Council delegation had been permitted to leave Septima Two. Despite reports showing elevated rogue activity, the Protectorate couldn’t determine an immediate threat to the Corona, so we were quickly assigned arc crafts. Unfortunately, Gannon and I were separated for our journey home. Since he was headed to Dignitas One like the other dignitaries, he was placed on a craft headed directly to that world. Meanwhile, Tai and I were assigned to one headed directly to Prospect Eight, with Aresh Ambassador and his team.

  Every part of my body rejected the idea of separating from Gannon. Despite the terrible reason for our being there, Septima Two had afforded us an unexpected look into what life could be like for us should our worlds be different. The truth of the matter was that adhering to rules had proved less important when lives were in danger. Gannon and I had enjoyed being able to be with each other in ways that we wouldn’t have allowed ourselves otherwise. The guesthouse became a haven where we could say, speak and do whatever we wanted. Since we were limited in our clothing and had to rely on casual, neutral-colored items without any markers of distinction, no one knew what caste we belonged to by a simple look, so no one batted an eye when we kissed, flirted and sent each other heated glances. While many people knew Gannon, they didn’t know who I was and probably thought I was in the same caste as him. I wasn’t sure I believed in heaven, but if there was one, the time we spent at the guesthouse was the closest thing to it.

  Then, it was over.

  As soon as we arrived at the arc station to make our departure, I felt the will of the Realm forcing definition onto the blurred lines between our castes once again. Instead of the passionate kisses and lingering touches we had become familiar with, Gannon and I made do with only an stilted goodbye before boarding our individual vessels. Tai, who had been a frequent presence over the three days, stood by me throughout the stilted departure. And when I slipped into my seat, he sat beside me with an unreadable expression, simply holding out an upturned hand to me. I squeezed it tightly the entire trip back, trying not to think too hard about the reality I was being reintroduced to.

  Ma entered the sitting area with a large platter of sliced fruit, which perked Rhoan right out of his surly mood. She had barely placed it on the table in the middle of the room before he filled his hands with berries and melon. With a small smile, Ma came to sit beside me and grasped one of my hands between hers.

  Since I’d arrived at home, Ma had wanted to touch me as much as possible, seemingly needing reassurance that I was really there. Tai said tragedy sometimes brought positive results. I was still angry and hurt by my family’s deception, but at the end of the day they loved me and I did them. At least I had my parents. In fact, now, I had more parents than many others did. My thoughts drifted to Tai and Liandra, who were fatherless. My distress over my parents’ secrets ran deep, but I would find a way to cope.

  “I can’t remember a time when there’s been such conflict in the Realm,” Ma murmured, fixated on our tightly clasped hands.

  Khelan walked over to the fireplace and leaned down to stoke the fire with a poker.

  “The factions are getting more aggressive,” he said. “With this attack on the Corona and the delegation, Realm Council won’t simply stand by. This is the worst possible outcome for Argon. There’s no way they’ll be exempt now.” He placed the poker to the side and rested his arms on his knees, looking deep into the fire. His shoulders revealed his tension and I knew he was thinking about Aunt Marah. There was no chance that they would be able to return to their lives now.

  “Do you think the Council will retaliate?” Rhoan asked.

  Khelan grunted. “I don’t know. Retaliation isn’t really their style,” he said over his shoulder.

  “The first thing is to determine who attacked us and why,” I said quietly, watching the flames rise high in the hearth.

  “They say it’s Argon’s ambassador,” Da said, sitting beside Ma.

  “It’s not him.” I said.

  When they all looked at me quizzically, I told them about my conversation with Liandra.

  “Kira, she has every reason to lie,” Rhoan said.

  “No. Kira’s right,” Khelan said, looking at me with a distant expression. I could see his mind taking the same path as my own. “For all intents and purposes, Donal was about to gain leniency from the Corona. There would be nothing gained by him attacking her.”

  I nodded. He had come to the same conclusion as me.

  “The Council will need to know who is at fault before we can develop a strategy to deal with them,” he added.

  “Deal with them how?” Rhoan asked after a moment’s consideration. “If force is off the table, then what’s the point of even finding out who’s guilty?”

  Khelan glanced at him. “Force isn’t the only form of retaliation, Rhoan,” he said.

  The buzz at the door stirred us out of our thoughts.

  Khelan frowned as he glanced at his comm. It was quite late, so I understood his perplexed expression. With a glance over to Ma and me, he got up to walk to the door and press a button. The small monitor affixed to the right of the door flickered on. From where I was seated I couldn’t see who it was, but the color that drained from Khelan’s face told me it was someone he knew.

  Rhoan and Da immediately got to their feet.

  “Who is it, Khelan?” Ma asked, her voice reflecting the wide swath of anxiety that had cut across the room. Slowly, she stood up, bringing me with her.

  Khelan engaged the door and it slid open. When he stepped back, two shrouded figures, one holding a small bundle, staggered into the room. The taller figure quickly spun around, shouldered Khelan aside and engaged our door, sliding it shut before tossing the hood off his head. A man I had never seen before turned to face us. Ma gasped and grabbed my wrist, steadying herself.

  “Who the fuck are you?” Rhoan growled. He lunged forward, but Da held him back. Rhoan looked ready to shrug him off and proceed with his attack when he caught Da’s eyes. Following his line of sight, Rhoan stood still, his mouth falling open.

  The figure holding the small bundle bent its head and reached up to pull back its hood. A haggard-looking Uncle Paol raised his eyes and gave us a tentative smile before opening his overly large cloak to reveal a wide-eyed Adria in his arms.

  The room flurried into action. Da strode around to all the windows and closed the blinds and drapes tight. Ma grabbed Adria from Uncle Paol’s arms and cradled the girl against her chest a
s she sat on the couch, whispering words of comfort and love in the child’s ear. Rhoan swiftly led Uncle Paol to a chair. All the while, Khelan and I stared at the man Uncle Paol had arrived with.

  It was Khelan who asked what was on my mind. “Where’s Marah?” he said no one in particular.

  The stranger’s eyes shifted toward Uncle Paol before returning back to Khelan’s, no small amount of pity shining brightly in his gaze. “Where. Is. Marah?” Khelan demanded, this time turning to Uncle Paol.

  Uncle Paol was staring at Adria, a distant look in his eyes, before he crumbled right in front of us. He thrust his hands over his face and bent over in the chair, sobbing so terribly that I knew what he was going to say before he did. I clasped a hand over my mouth as Khelan strode over to Uncle Paol and grabbed his hands, shoving them away from his face.

  “What have you done with my sister?” he yelled. The other man simply stared up at him, his face awash with tears. He shook his head as his throat and mouth worked hard, trying to form words. “Answer me!”

  Adria started crying and Ma pulled her closer into her arms, rocking her back and forth to soothe her. She asked Rhoan to get a small glass of solumen from the kitchen.

  I stepped over to Khelan and rested a hand on his shoulder, tears welling in my eyes. He flinched, looked at me with wild eyes and then fell to his knees in the middle of the room. I knelt beside him as he fisted his big hands on his knees. He and I stared up at Uncle Paol.

  “I’m so sorry, Khelan,” Uncle Paol said. He swallowed and inhaled deeply. “She’s gone.”

  Khelan cried out like a wounded animal and leaned heavily into me. I wrapped my arms around him and felt my own tears spilled onto my cheeks.

  Ma was sobbing now too, hugging Adria so tightly I feared for the child. Thankfully, Rhoan had come back into the room. He sat beside Ma and pulled Adria onto his lap, bringing the glass of solumen to our cousin’s mouth. As he fed her the drink, Rhoan sent me a look that reflected my own shock and burgeoning grief.