Bad Girls Finish First

by Shelia Dansby Harvey

Raven and David were outside. They walked slowly, side by side, toward the back of the building.

  “You’ve been drinking?”

  “So what, David. You drink more than I do.”

  David stopped and faced Raven. He rubbed his chin and looked at the sky as he spoke. “I do. And I pray to God, literally pray, for the taste to be taken away. When I drink too much it’s because I’m trying to get up the nerve to do something stupid.”

  Raven sulked.

  David asked her, “What’s got you so stirred up? Who are you trying to piss off?”

  “David, that’s silly. I’m not doing anything.” Raven started to walk again, but David blocked her path.

  “Then why are you making a fool of yourself?”

  Raven leaned against the side of the building, her hands behind her so that her suit wouldn’t touch the surface. “I’m surprised you noticed, the way you let Erika Whittier climb all over you.” Something flashed across David’s face that Raven couldn’t quite put her finger on.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” David said defensively. “Whatever you’re upset about doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

  Raven inhaled. “This is a bad day for me, David.” By now they’d walked to the back of the building. “Mr. Reese did everything he could to stop Michael from marrying me. I hate him. But Michael loves him, loves what Mr. Reese and his wife have together. Then that damn Grace shows up, walking in like she’s Princess Grace instead of some old, dried-up broad nobody wants.

  “I can tell—I can feel it—Michael’s regretting he ever parted ways with Reese, that old bastard. For all I know, maybe he’s even reminiscing about being married to Grace.” She looked at David. “That means he’s thinking he never should have married me.”

  Raven sniffled. “Weird, isn’t it? Me complaining about my husband to my lover. Telling you things I can’t tell anyone else feels natural.”

  “Because it is natural. We’re more than just lovers, Raven.” Forgetting where they were, David embraced Raven. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s okay to have those kinds of thoughts, baby, it is, really. But that doesn’t mean you have to act out. You’re too beautiful a woman to treat yourself so poorly. When you’re feeling bad, when you feel like doing something crazy, talk to me instead. That’s what I’m here for. Talk to me, Raven. Promise me you will.”

  “David, I can’t—”

  “Yes. You can. Promise me.”

  “Okay.”

  David kissed Raven on her forehead, and held her to him a moment more.

  Grace couldn’t sleep, because her brain wouldn’t shut down. Nothing unusual there; she was accustomed to lying awake against her will, recounting past hurts, beating herself up for not being stronger. Instead of tossing around trying to make her thoughts go away, Grace lay still and summoned them. She went over the wedding reception again and again, starting from the first moment John Reese stepped forward to welcome her, to the last, when Evan and Christopher walked her to her car. She relived every hug and kind word in between. When she got to the end, the part where her sons bent and kissed her before closing her door, Grace would go back to the beginning.

  The only dicey part of the evening had been when she looked across the room and saw Evan, her son, standing with Raven. Grace’s heart had lurched then, and she’d wanted to either run to Evan and snatch him from Raven, or run straight out the giant ballroom doors. She didn’t know which. But then someone called her name, and when she turned around again, Evan had been crossing the room, heading her way.

  There had been the other thing, too—the way she’d found Michael staring at her. A million times, Grace had imagined what it would be like the first time she and Michael saw each other. Half the reason Grace became a hermit was because she dreaded the day she’d have to see Michael with Raven on his arm. Seeing them on television and in print was brutal enough. Face to face, Grace imagined, would be more than she could stand, so she prayed that God would spare her that indignity until she was ready.

  She’d daydreamed dozens of scenarios, including the one that actually took place—Michael fixated on her from across a crowded room. That it actually happened was too good! Grace was about to replay the look that passed between Michael and her, when the telephone rang.

  “It’s almost midnight. Who’s calling this late?” Grace said aloud. After the divorce, she had picked up the habit of talking to herself.

  “Hello.”

  When no one responded, Grace repeated, “Hello, who is this?”

  “Grace, it’s me.”

  Shock hit her first, then panic. Grace sat up and switched on her nightstand lamp.

  “Michael! What’s wrong? Are the boys okay?”

  “Yeah, yeah. Sure, they’re fine.”

  “Then what—”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I should have known . . . calling this late . . . I didn’t mean . . . ” Michael stammered through the little speech he’d spent the last two hours going over.

  He started over. “I wanted to tell you how good it was to see you today. You look good, Grace. How have you been?”

  “How have I—?” Before she realized what she was doing, Grace pressed the END CALL button. She placed the phone on her nightstand and stared at it. Grace willed the phone to ring again, just to be sure she wasn’t dreaming or that she hadn’t lost her mind. And she willed it to ring again so she could hear Michael say her name. It had been so long.

  The phone didn’t ring. Grace sighed, and, wide awake now, sank into her pillow. It was going to be a long night.

  20

  “How are things going with your woman?”

  David laughed uncomfortably. “My woman. I don’t have one to call my own, do I? Are you talking about Raven or Erika?”

  “Raven, of course,” Dudley replied. He looked understandingly at David. “A woman like Erika wouldn’t ever really be yours.”

  The brothers were seated in Dudley’s office late in the afternoon. Even though David regularly had business in Austin and Dudley was often in Dallas, they rarely spent time together. Dudley’s fleshy grin and fish eyes reminded David of Big Sue, which, in turn, reminded him of being cold and hungry. Dudley never seemed to want to see him either, so David assumed that he himself reminded Dudley of the past. David feared that if his brother brought Big Sue to mind, then maybe he made Dudley think of Baby Sue. The only memorable thing about her, though, was her overpowering funk. At least once every day, David, in spite of himself, would take a quick whiff under each arm to make sure that he wasn’t carrying on Stanky Baby Sue’s dubious legacy.

  “Raven and I are okay.” David didn’t want to have this conversation with Dudley and he kicked himself for having confided in him. He’d told Dr. Laverne about his affair but that wasn’t the same as telling a real person. If it had been any woman but Raven, David may have even shared his secret with Michael. He needed to let someone know about Raven and about Erika. Dudley was his only choice.

  “Okay? What kind of answer is that? I want to know if she’s getting you what you want,” Dudley said.

  “More than what I want, and almost more than I can handle. Raven’s probably the smartest woman I’ve ever met—when I’ve got a problem she comes up with a good idea. And in the bed, she gives me so much of herself, I can’t imagine what’s left over for Michael.

  “I started out dealing with her on a strictly business basis, trying to get her on my side with the faith-based money, but Dudley, now I’m in deep”—David shifted in his seat—“and I don’t want to get out.” Shut up, he told himself and kept going. “The guilt is killing me. I’m no angel, but I never thought I’d commit adultery and I never intended to take Michael’s woman from him. Over the years he’s done good by me and I’ve tried to do likewise.”

  Dudley leaned over his desk. “Sex? Brains? Guilt? What the hell are you talking about? Let me remind you, brother, that your main goal was to get the money. The sex is just gravy. What’s Raven
going to do for you?”

  “We haven’t had a chance to iron out the details.”

  “Haven’t had a chance! You’ve spent all this time with the spiteful bitch and you haven’t had a chance to talk about money?”

  David bristled at Dudley’s harsh words. “Raven’s just high- strung. She’s not that bad, once you get to know her.”

  “Get to know her!”

  “Damnit, Dudley, will you stop acting like a parrot! Raven’s ready to make a decision about how much to award New Word; I just haven’t followed up. We’ll get our fair share.” By now David was as agitated as Dudley because he realized that the faith-based initiative hadn’t crossed his mind since the day he first kissed Raven. The knowledge unsettled him because it meant he was losing focus. David’s ministry was his life; he couldn’t put his desire for Raven ahead of New Word. He made a mental note to mention the initiative to her the next time they talked.

  Dudley settled into his first-class seat and thought about his upcoming meeting with Callie Stephens. He had done a little research on her before deciding to fly to Atlanta. He began dropping her name casually during conversations and everyone who knew Callie, including Michael, spoke highly of her. According to him, Callie was warm and generous, an all-around good woman. He implied that Callie’s relationship with Raven proved that Raven possessed those same traits.

  When Dudley mentioned Callie’s name to Raven, she had turned on him and sharply asked, “Why are you bringing her up? She’s an ungrateful bitch. End of story.”

  Finding Callie had been easy. She lived in Atlanta, where she was a district court judge. Dudley’s sources told him that Callie had a stellar, though short, career as a litigator before taking the bench. Although she had been easy to locate, Callie had been hell to contact by phone. During their sole conversation, Callie had been cordial until Dudley had said, “I want to know about Raven.” Callie, speaking curtly, had told him that she had nothing to say about Raven, and that furthermore, she was needed in court. After that Callie wouldn’t take his calls.

  Dudley’s instincts told him that he was on to something juicy so he boarded a flight to Atlanta. He vowed to camp out on the front row of Callie’s courtroom until she talked to him just to get rid of his ugly mug. Dudley hoped that wouldn’t take long because the campaign had entered the final stretch and he could spare only one day in Atlanta.

  Dudley gave his name to Callie’s clerk and was immediately ushered into her chambers. Things happened so quickly that he thought maybe he’d been set up.

  Before he could settle into his seat, Callie asked him, “Has Raven done something?” Her pretty face was clouded with worry.

  “Maybe,” Dudley hedged. “I’m surprised you agreed to see me. To tell you the truth, I expected to be escorted out of the building as soon as I announced myself.”

  “I figured that for you to fly here something serious must be going on. I couldn’t live with myself if I sat by and let Raven hurt someone else.”

  Callie had always been a quick study of people, and after her fiasco of a friendship with Raven, she was even better. She looked at Dudley’s liverish smirk and dead eyes and was immediately wary.

  “You said maybe Raven’s done something.” She asked, her voice strictly business. “What is it?”

  What’s wrong with her? Why is she cross-examining me? I’m not one of her criminals, Dudley thought. He knew he came up short in the charm department, but still. If real men like him didn’t stand up and do something, stuck-up bitches like Raven and Callie would end up ruling the world.

  “We don’t know yet. Michael thinks—and this is a very sensitive matter, you understand, not to be repeated—he thinks Raven may have done something illegal during the course of his campaign. If she has, it’ll ruin him.” Dudley hoped he sounded convincing. “He asked me to come and find out what you think Raven is capable of.”

  Callie was a striking woman who was as beautiful as Raven, but in a quieter way. She was a shade or two lighter than Raven’s dark brown, and not quite as tall. Someone once described them as two unique, stunning garments— one soft and delicate, the other daring and demanding—cut from the same cloth. The major difference between them was that Callie radiated a peace that Raven didn’t have. When Dudley asked what Raven was capable of, Callie’s serenity cracked and an ugly expression flickered across her face.

  “He knows damn well what she’s capable of,” Callie commented dryly. She leaned back in her chair and unfastened the top three buttons of her judicial robe. “But since you asked, I’ll tell you. Raven is shrewd, self-centered, and definitely dangerous.”

  Bingo, Dudley thought. “Strong words coming from a best friend.”

  “Raven’s best friend.” Callie laughed bitterly. “Imagine that.”

  “Trouble is, I can’t. You strike me as gracious and self-confident,” Dudley said, “whereas Raven is petty and egotistical.” Dudley held his hands up like a scale. “Raven, here. Best friend, over here. It doesn’t balance. She’d hate a woman like you.”

  “Which is why we’re no longer friends.”

  “I know about the cheating scandal and that some guy named Omar Faxton helped Raven try to take you down. Beyond that, all I hear is rumors about Omar leaving town. What really happened?” Dudley asked. He already knew a lot but he wanted confirmation from Callie. Based on what everyone had told him, Dudley believed that if anyone knew what really happened to Omar, it was Callie.

  “Six months after Omar’s disappearance, a detective named Coolidge began tracing his last known activities and found out that he’d probably been with her. The police pinned Raven under a microscope and between that and what she tried to do to me, she became an outcast during our final year.”

  “Coffee?” Callie asked Dudley. She poured a cup for each of them as she continued her story. “The first two years of law school, Raven had been quite popular. But that third year Raven slid comfortably into the role of pariah, like she enjoyed it.” Callie handed Dudley a mug.

  “So what do you think happened to Omar?” Dudley asked as he sipped his coffee. Despite his natural aversion to people, especially women, Dudley felt like he could sit all day and talk to Callie. She had an ease about her that even he was drawn to.

  Callie looked down into her mug as she spoke. “I loved Omar and I think Raven did something really bad to him because she found out that he loved me, too.”

  “Bad like what?”

  Callie’s eyes darted to Dudley and then away from him. “All I know is even though Omar was in a lot of trouble with the law school, he wouldn’t have just walked away. He was smart enough to talk his way out of anything, so he would have stayed around, fixed the situation. Somehow Raven made sure that never happened.”

  When Callie looked at Dudley again, her mouth was set in a grim line. “I promised Raven that if she had done anything to Omar she’d have to deal with me, but I never followed up.”

  “How could you give up? Didn’t you want her to pay for what she did?” Dudley asked.

  Callie took a deep breath, and although her eyes were on him, she was looking into the past. “I moved here with Keith and let go of all that. When we were in school, I allowed a different situation that I couldn’t do anything about eat away at me. I felt like I was losing my mind. After that I refused”—Callie corrected herself—“I refuse to ever let something from the past rule my life. So I put my episode with Raven and Omar behind me. I haven’t set foot in Dallas since Keith and I left.”

  “So Michael was right; he said you’d probably married a guy named Keith,” he said.

  Callie threw her head back and laughed. “No, I didn’t. Keith ran into an old friend soon after we moved here. They’re married now.”

  There was a brief knock on the door and then it opened. “Callie, you’ve got—oh, sorry, I thought you were alone.” A young man stood in the doorway. He looked like Callie, but was clearly too old to be her son. “Judge Stephens, your next case starts in five minute
s.”

  “Thank you, Jason.” After Callie rebuttoned her judicial robe she extended her hand to Dudley. “I made a promise, years ago, to do exactly what you’re doing now, but I didn’t follow through. Good luck.” Although Dudley had become drawn to Callie during their short time together, she didn’t like him any more than she had when he first entered her chambers. Nonetheless she felt compelled to add, “And for your own sake, be careful.”

  “What are we doing for your birthday?” Raven asked David that evening.

  It was dusk and they were seated in the courtyard of a hotel in San Antonio. The mid-September evening was cool and dry. David was the speaker at a leadership conference for ministers from around the country and he’d invited Raven to drive over. When they first started seeing each other, David and Raven made sure to meet only in very public places like restaurants, or in the private space provided by double-bolted hotel-room doors. But as their relationship progressed, they blinded themselves, and earnestly believed that no one could tell what was going on.

  “Most of the ministers who’ll be here are white; they won’t notice you,” David said, as though white ministers were, by definition, blind eunuchs. “If anyone asks, I’ll tell them you and I had a meeting that couldn’t be postponed.” The hotel front-desk manager who rang David’s room for Raven did happen to be a little on the dim side, but she still recognized the most photographed woman in the state. She was also a veteran hotel employee and knew that if Raven didn’t identify herself, then she didn’t want to be recognized.

  So Raven and David sat in the courtyard, the air surrounding them heavy with emotional intimacy, and believed that anyone who saw them would think they were conducting business.

  “I asked you what we’re doing for your birthday, David,” Raven said as she slapped his arm. “What are you thinking about?”

  He was thinking about his conversation with Dudley regarding the faith-based initiative. David didn’t know how he’d let his goal of getting more faith-based money slip away, but he had, and he needed to get back on track. David decided that he would broach the subject, but he didn’t know where to begin. Today the conference had adjourned at noon so the attendees could go sightseeing. He and Raven had been together since the conference ended, and David still hadn’t said a word about the money. Raven’s question about his birthday gave him another opportunity to delay his own mission.