there is no goat

by Jennifer Dunham

  The avoidance of shame is another cornerstone of Pashtun-Wali. To bring shame to one’s family is often unforgivable, although every human in the world has certainly done something shameful at some point in their lives. I often discussed shame with the men I interviewed to get a better sense of who they were, and how honest they were willing to be. A majority insisted they had never done anything shameful in their lives. Really? Who can honestly say they have never told a lie, never stolen something, or never even looked longingly at a member of the opposite sex? You get my drift. We have all done shameful things. It is inevitable in life. One of the most shameful things according to Pashtun standard is to look inappropriately at a member of the opposite sex. Not that there is much to see, as their women are covered from head to toe. But, a majority of the men I sat with insisted they were absolutely pure and had never lied once in their life, stolen anything, and so on. It was evidence they were displaying deep hypocrisy by making such claims. Anyone who claims they have never lied is lying. That little fact gave me insight into their personality meaning, from the start, they were not completely truthful.

  My purpose in discussing the topic of shame was to ensure these men understood what was, and was not, appropriate behavior while working on the base. To lead the conversation, I often asked them to give me an example of something they considered to be shameful. In a situation like that, I was of the mindset that the first example someone gave, was probably something that hit close to home for them. Meaning, I believed the first statement was something the person had witnessed first-hand and/or been involved with. Sadly, the molestation of young boys is a fairly common practice in Afghanistan. With regards to the men who cited this as an example of shameful activity, I often wondered if they, themselves, had been molested at some point in their lives. And, I vehemently hoped that this example did not come to their minds because they, themselves, had molested a boy(s).

  I had some very interesting (and often comical) conversations with those who were willing to discuss shameful acts. One man informed me that the most shameful thing one could do was “to steal money out of the pocket of a dead body, lying in the street”. That was an awfully specific and unusual example, I thought. It led me to conclude this man had either done this at some point, or witnessed another person engage in such an act.

  Another gentleman informed me that “kidnapping a woman” was the most shameful deed one could commit. He was the only one who ever gave that as an example of shame, which also left my mind to wonder. After asking another man for an example of a shameful activity, he looked me in the eye and said “If I urinated outside, and you saw my body, that would be extremely shameful.” Good to know that the act of urinating in public is not shameful, but rather the possibility that a woman might witness a man do this, was the disgraceful part of the act.

  At one point during an interview, a local Afghan informed me that his mother taught him “staring at someone else’s house” was shameful. I guess it’s a good thing Afghans don’t have street addresses on their houses. One would not want to be caught driving around a neighborhood visually trying to find the numerical address of a specific house!

  “Looking at pornography” was a common answer I received in response to the shame question. This is certainly in line with the Muslim religion and society. Looking at lewd pictures and video is strictly forbidden. But, according to a couple of men I interviewed, there are situations where it is allowed. For example, one man informed me that “It is okay to look at pornography, if it is for medical reasons.” My interpreter and I laughed out loud upon hearing this. I wondered to myself how one could justify looking at pornography for medical purposes. Instinctively, I asked him to elaborate. The man relayed a story about his neighbor, whose wife was unable to conceive a child. As a result of this conception problem, his neighbor went to the Afghan version of a fertility clinic, where he was instructed to deposit his male bodily fluids into a cup. In the room provided to him at the clinic were several lewd magazines, to “assist” him. After hearing this explanation, I had to agree with this guy that that was a valid medical use for pornography.

  When discussing pornography (and the shame associated with it) with another man, he told me that “Looking at pornography is only shameful, if you get caught.” This candid response was actually a bit surprising, as Muslims believe their God, Allah, is all knowing and all seeing. Although I am sure many Muslim men view pornography at some point in their lives, I would not expect any of them to admit it, even with a disclaimer.

  Other common shameful acts I discussed during interviews included lying, cheating (on a test in school, for example) and stealing. I explained that these types of behaviors were strictly forbidden on the base, and if one were caught engaging in any of these, they would be immediately fired. Their chance of ever working on a U.S. base again, would be slim to none. Even small infractions, such as stealing food out of a dumpster, were not tolerated. Despite the very clear set of rules for base employees, every month, a few had to test the waters and were usually caught. I remember an instance when one man even tried to smuggle a laptop computer off base. I am not sure how he thought he might make it past the mandatory pat down, by U.S. soldiers, when exiting the base. His excuse for stealing the computer was that he did not think it belonged to anyone.

  While exploring the topic of theft during an interview with one man, a colleague of mine asked a man once what he thought the punishment should be for a thief. He sternly replied that if someone were caught stealing, “they should be kicked out of their village…and then their house should be burned to the ground.” This seems extreme to most Westerners, but is likely a common sentiment among Pashtuns.

  Lying was another problem we frequently encountered in my office. The locals who were sent to us knew they had to submit to an in-depth interview, and often, a lie detector test, as a requirement to gaining employment on the base. My team and I always told them to be completely honest when answering our questions. We explained that we would rather they be honest about past indiscretions, than be caught in a lie. If we discovered someone had not been truthful with us, their chances of employment on base were squashed. If they lied to us, it was likely they would lie to their employer, supervisor and/or co-workers, which was obviously not acceptable, especially in a war zone. Despite our re-assurances, we still encountered numerous local men who tried to pull one over on us.

  My most memorable recollection of deceit involved two Afghan brothers, who both applied to work with the Afghan guard force on base. The Afghans hired as guards worked side by side with American soldiers, to protect the perimeter of the base. By chance, these two brothers were inadvertently scheduled for their interview with us on the same day, at the same time. They were to be interviewed by two separate team members. I interviewed one man, who I will call Nasir. My colleague interviewed Nasir’s brother, who I will refer to as Mahmoud. My colleague and I were not immediately aware that these two men were brothers.

  During the interview, Nasir told me the tragic story of his brother, Mahmoud, who had, according to him, died several years earlier. I asked him the circumstances regarding Mahmoud’s death. Nasir related that Mahmoud had been at the local bazaar, shopping for family groceries approximately two years prior. In a sheer stroke of bad luck, Mahmoud was killed, when a suicide bomber attacked the bazaar and detonated his explosives. Nasir explained how his brother’s death had adversely affected his family, because there was once less male to work and earn money, and to assist with chores around the household. I chalked up the story to another sad reality of local life in Afghanistan. And, I must admit, that I did not realize Nasir was lying to me at the time.

  Following our interviews, my teammate and I compared notes. I told him the story about Nasir’s brother and the suicide bombing. It was at this point we both discovered that Nasir’s “dead” brother, Mahmoud, had been sitting in the room next door. Mahmoud had mentioned nothing about a suicide bombing and readily admitted that he and Nasir wer
e brothers. Upon hearing this huge discrepancy, I immediately called the soldiers at our front gate, and told them to stop the two brothers before they exited the base. My teammate and I then escorted the two straight back to our office. We separated the brothers initially and re-questioned both of them. Nasir continued to insist that his brother Mahmoud was dead. At this point, I went next door and retrieved Mahmoud. I brought him into the interview room with Nasir and asked him if Nasir was his brother. Mahmoud replied that he was. Nasir sat there dumbfounded, with a look on his face as if his brother had just returned to the land of the living.

  In the end, Nasir informed me that he had fabricated the story for two reasons: (1) to gain our sympathy in hopes of a better position with the guard force on base and (2) he believed the guard force would not be willing to hire two brothers at the same time. How he arrived at that latter logic, I will never know, as there were several sets of brothers who worked for the guard force (and other employers on base). After Nasir finally admitted his lie, I told him that he had ruined his chance at employment on the base. I explained to him that he appeared untrustworthy. There was no way I could justify recommending someone like this for employment, especially for a position in which we were issuing a weapon and entrusting our safety to, on a daily basis. In case readers are curious, Mahmoud got the job. His brother never informed him of his planned attempt to deceive us during the interview, so he was none the wiser, which worked out in his favor.

  As discussed throughout this chapter, lying is fairly commonplace amongst Pashtun-Afghans, especially in an effort to protect one’s ego or pride. However, I believe some men were simply so ignorant, they did not even realize when they contradicted themselves. While discussing places of past residence during one interview, a man told me he had never lived outside of Afghanistan. However, according to documentation I had on hand, he had reportedly lived in Pakistan for two years of his life. When I confronted him with the discrepancy he admitted that, “Yes, I lived in Pakistan, but it is not important because I do not know their language.” I shook my head, in some disbelief at this reasoning. I then explained to him, about four times, that physically living across the border did not require one to know the language. It still counted as a foreign residence.

  I found out that fabricating stories was not unique only to the local Afghans. Many of the interpreters hired from the U.S., to assist military forces in Afghanistan, were previously Afghan citizens. Most of them, and their families, had fled Afghanistan decades prior and sought American citizenship. But, in many cases, their Afghan idiosyncrasies and customs remained. One of these interpreters was confronted by his boss, the Linguist Site Manager (an American-born citizen), after it was discovered that he had broken several company policies, the least of which was fraudulent reporting of hours worked. Initially, the interpreter attempted to deny the allegations, but the Site Manager had solid proof of the violations. When the interpreter finally admitted his wrongdoing, the Site Manager verbalized his anger and said, “So, you lied to me.” The response from the Afghan-American interpreter was “No, I told you a story.” Even after having lived in the U.S. for many years, this man could not bring himself to admit his blatant attempt at a cover-up. His unwillingness to take responsibility for his actions was so similar to many of the local indigenous Afghans, who refused to take any hit to their personal pride.

  On the flip side, with respect to honesty, some men were sometimes so brutally honest with me, it was a shock, though usually a refreshing (and sometimes comical) one. I remember asking one man, in particular, why he was applying for the job he was. His answered “I want this job because I don’t want to be a loser.” Like I said, at least he was honest! Another fellow, who had been employed on base for several months told me “I am thankful for this job because it keeps me from robbing people.” I chucked at his candidness, but gave him credit for his honesty, as well. One less robber on the street made for a safer Afghanistan.

  In the Eastern part of Afghanistan, there is a slang word, Pathan (pronounced pa-tawn) often used by the locals to describe a certain offshoot of tribal members. The term originated centuries ago when a group of Pashtun tribal members immigrated to what is now North-western Indian territory. The group essentially invaded and settled there, taking over control of several local areas. They exerted domination through religious Muslim teachings and education and eventually became known as Pathans. Even now, Pathans remaining in Indian territory control most aspects of the local civil and administrative life.

  The Pathans are somewhat revered and respected in many Afghan cultures because of their dominance in India and positive influence through many centuries. Those who claim membership in this bloodline do so with deep commitment and devotion. This was evidenced to me one day when I interviewed a local man who had previously been in the Afghan army. I asked him why he was no longer employed as a soldier and he remarked, “I quit because I got in a fight with my commander. He was a mountain Pathan and I am a real Pathan”. I am not sure exactly what he meant by “mountain Pathan”, but it appeared that the man’s commander falsely claimed to be a member of the esteemed bloodline and this man, being a “real Pathan” took offense to the claim. In the classic Pashtun-Wali tradition, he could not let this perceived offense be ignored. He decided his only solution was to quit in order to prove his point.

  I believe that along with Pashtun-Wali comes widespread ignorance. The Pashtuns’ distorted belief system and lack of outside influence leaves them vulnerable to self-destruction in several ways. During my time in Afghanistan, it was discovered that three of the men serving on our Afghan guard force were HIV-positive. One of these men also tested positive for Hepatitis A and B. None of these men were aware of their illnesses prior to this routine blood test administered by the contracting company that hired them. This was quite a shock to all of us who were privy to the information. Many, including myself, were angry that the men had not been properly screened for possible medical problems prior to being hired. I personally was not aware that HIV even existed in Afghanistan. The country seemed so isolated from the rest of the world, but obviously my impression was false.

  According to the CIA World Factbook [1] the rate of HIV/AIDS infection in the Afghan population stands at .01%. I am sure the approximately three percent rate I witnessed among the guard force was not indicative of the entire Afghan population, but I strongly believe the infection rate is higher than the official report of one out of every thousand citizens. Knowing how primitive and scarce proper medical care is in Afghanistan, it is easy to understand why the reported numbers were likely to be inaccurate.

  After conducting some informal research, I came to the conclusion that HIV was probably introduced to Afghanistan many years ago and is not a recent phenomenon. Over the past couple of decades, tens of thousands of Afghan men have traveled to various Middle Eastern countries, such as Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and United Arab Emirates (UAE), in pursuit of work. They usually work menial labor jobs in these countries, for minimal pay. But, in some cases, the low pay was more than they could expect to find working in Afghanistan. Meanwhile, in those countries, and especially in the UAE, there is a prostitution population that is easily accessible to foreigners. UAE will deny this fact and, therefore, there is no regulation over working girls. An unknown percentage of these prostitutes inevitably carry sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV.

  Afghan men would likely never enlist the services of a prostitute in their home country, assuming there were any available. But, away from home, many of them explore this prohibited activity, and have unprotected sex with strangers. Inevitably, some of them contract HIV, and other sexually transmitted diseases, and carry them back to Afghanistan. Once back home, they continue to spread the diseases to their spouse, who may then transmit it to her children, during pregnancy. Because there are no official health care services in Afghanistan, these infected people often live their entire (though probably shortened) lives in complete ignorance.

  N
ot only do these infected men spread HIV, and other diseases, to their spouses, but to others as well. An occurrence that is hardly ever discussed is the fact that men, in Afghanistan (and other oppressed countries) engage in sexual activities with each other. Pre-marital sex is strictly forbidden in the Muslim culture. Therefore, the men turn to the only other alternative: each other. This is not considered homosexual activity, however. It is simply a sexual outlet for them. In addition to this practice, some men use young boys for their own sexual pleasure. I heard numerous “third-hand” stories of young boys forced to dress up like women and wear make-up. The older men would then use them as sexual slaves. On a few occasions, I heard reports from U.S. soldiers that they observed Afghan soldiers, policemen, or guards, lure young boys to their guard post and take advantage of them. Incidentally, there was nothing the U.S. soldiers could do in these situations, as the abuse occurred off base, where they had no jurisdiction. On top of that, it is apparently not a crime to abuse adolescents in Afghanistan, so technically these men were not breaking the law (except for the law of morals).

  When our three HIV-infected guards were informed of their diagnosis, and subsequent loss of job, they were all dumbfounded. None of them had ever heard of HIV, or had any idea how detrimental the disease was. They had no clue that they had likely spread the disease to their spouses, and possibly their children. And, none would offer up any explanation as to how they might have contracted the disease. Some may wonder whether perhaps intravenous (IV) drug use might be the cause of the spread of HIV throughout Afghanistan, but I do not believe this is the basis of the problem. Of the five hundred plus Afghan men I interviewed, none ever spoke about IV drug use in their culture. Many spoke of marijuana, hashish, mushrooms and opiates, but none ever mentioned heroin, crack or the like.