Divided Loyalties

by Heather Atkinson

  “Yes Mrs Maguire,” he said with a mock bow.

  “I know you Mikey Maguire, you’d shag a table leg if it put on a red wig.”

  “Excuse me, I do have standards.”

  “Not judging by your last conquest,” interjected Ryan. “She won best in breed at the last Crufts.”

  “Cheeky bastard,” he grinned, “but you’re right, I do have a weakness for red hair. Are you ready for that meeting Ryan?”

  Shit, he’d forgotten about that. He was hoping to get a little time with Rachel. “Yes. Are you ready to go?”

  “Yep.”

  As Mikey walked out the door Ryan whispered, “tonight,” in Rachel’s ear before following him out into the corridor.

  Mikey’s smile dropped as they walked. “I heard you had some trouble last night.”

  “Yes and it’s a bit of a mystery.”

  “If you need any back-up, just ask.”

  “Thanks, I might take you up on that.”

  They headed over to the office in The Wherry Tavern to discuss the information Nathan had given them.

  “What happened to Nathan?” Alex asked Ryan.

  “Right now he’s in hospital having several lacerations stitched. Every time he looks in the mirror he’ll remember his stupid mistake.”

  “Good and nice touch to the face, it’ll warn anyone thinking of doing the same thing. So who is this mystery man? Looks like we have a new competitor.”

  “It does and God only knows who else they’ve approached to attack our people.”

  “Shall we tell them to carry weapons?” interjected Jez.

  “Blades but no guns,” said Alex.

  “Agreed,” added Ryan. “If they get stopped by the police a gun will add years to their sentences. We need to change the routes we use too, obviously someone’s been watching our men. Jez, you’re good with a map. Can you work out some new routes?”

  “I can.”

  “Good. Will you be needing me tomorrow only I’ve got plans?”

  “With a woman?” said Alex.

  “Mind your own,” Ryan replied, trying to keep the grin off his face.

  “Oh, looks like it might be serious,” said Jez, pleased. It was about time his brother settled down. Jez himself had finally found the happiness and stability he’d craved all his life with a lovely little blond and he wanted Ryan to find the same.

  “I’ll have my mobile if you need me but please only call me if it’s urgent,” Ryan ended before hastily leaving, not wanting to explain himself.

  CHAPTER 21

  Ryan was filled with a warm cosy feeling, which was starting to become more and more familiar. He looked at Leah curled into his arm in her pyjamas, eyes growing heavy with sleep. Rachel said she’d waited up for him again. Rachel was on his other side, her head on his shoulder. Ryan had never felt part of a family unit before, he’d always been the leader, the one to make sure everyone had money in their pocket and food on the table and he’d resented the lot of them for putting that responsibility on his shoulders at such a young age because the rest of them were so bloody useless. All except for Jez, he couldn’t believe how much he’d matured. It turned out all these years he’d actually had a brain in his head and he was ashamed that the Maguires had been the ones to nurture that. It was thanks to Jez that he was able to spend all day tomorrow with Rachel and Leah. Jez was his heir, he was certain of that now but Ryan knew he’d never be able to let go of things completely, even when he was an old man, if he lived that long. He just had the nagging feeling that one day Rachel would be unable to tolerate what he did for a living. She wanted to distance herself from that life and by being with him she was plunging herself right back into it feet first. He pushed the unwelcome thought aside, he’d deal with that when the time came because he had no doubt it would.

  The next morning Ryan was astonished by the amount of equipment needed to take a toddler out. The back of his Range Rover was loaded up with a pushchair, bottles, nappies, wipes, snack, change of clothes, the list went on and he found his spacious four by four, which was used to holding nothing but the spare tyre, actually stuffed full.

  Rachel settled Leah into the child seat she’d transferred from her own car into the back of Ryan’s then joined him in the front.

  They set off with Leah clapping excitedly, enjoying her high vantage point in the big vehicle. The journey started off well enough, Rachel relaxing as they left the city behind. It was nice to get away from everything just for a little while.

  “What’s that idiot doing?” said Ryan, glancing in his rear-view mirror.

  Rachel turned in her seat to see a ratty little red Corsa right up their backside.

  “Just ignore him. His car will probably fall to pieces in a minute.”

  To Ryan’s amazement the stupid car started to overtake him on a bend. As they rounded the bend another car was coming the opposite way. The driver of the Corsa panicked and shot in front of Ryan, causing him to slam on the brakes.

  “Fucking dickhead,” he snarled, reddening with anger.

  He banged on the horn, which did nothing to assuage his rage and stomped on the accelerator, so his front bumper was just inches from the Corsa.

  “Easy,” said Rachel calmly. “Remember Leah.”

  She could see the inner struggle take place inside him but he eased off the accelerator, putting a safe distance between the two vehicles.

  “That prick could have caused a horrible accident,” he said quietly, voice tight with rage.

  “I know but he didn’t only because you’re a good driver.”

  She put her hand on his thigh and he relaxed a little and gave her a smile. He glanced in the rear-view mirror at Leah. “Alright Cupcake?”

  She grinned and nodded, broadening his smile.

  That irritating little car stayed in front of them for another half mile until the road opened up into a long straight stretch with nothing coming the other way.

  “Right,” said Ryan, putting his foot down.

  The powerful engine kicked in, the roar satisfying something primal inside Ryan as it started to overtake. To his amazement, the driver in the Corsa put his foot down too.

  “I don’t believe it,” exclaimed Ryan. He didn’t know which was worse, the man’s stupidity or the fact he thought his heap of shit could outrun his powerful new motor.

  Ryan stomped harder, the turbo kicking in, sending them rocketing past the Corsa. He pulled back into the left lane, the Corsa a satisfying red dot in the distance.

  “Better?” smiled Rachel.

  “Much,” he replied, his manly pride satisfied.

  They easily found the zoo and parked up. It was in a lovely spot in the country and Ryan felt upbeat as he breathed in the fresh air. While Rachel got Leah out of the car he started emptying the boot. He studied the pushchair for a moment, trying to puzzle out why it wouldn’t open up then realised he needed to free a catch first. Mission accomplished, it opened up and he put it down on the ground, simultaneously getting his foot caught in the strap of the changing bag and he stumbled forwards, only just managing to right himself at the last moment by grabbing onto the side of the car.

  He heard a snort of laughter and saw Rachel trying not to burst into gales of laughter, holding a sleep-refreshed Leah. Ryan was not used to being laughed at, in fact it was a new experience for him and he became flustered, gravitating between anger and amusement. Rachel strapped Leah into the pushchair, straightened up and planted a kiss on his lips, soothing him and suddenly everything was right with the world once again.

  Rachel chastised herself for being so cruel. She was well aware that playing happy families was new to him and she was impressed by how hard he was trying.

  He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

  “Come on, I think Leah’s going to burst with excitement,” he said, indicating the little girl clapping with glee.

  They were distracted by a rattling sound and the red Corsa limped into the car park.


  “Bastard,” muttered Ryan quietly, eyes flashing angrily.

  Through the window they could make out some skinny runt behind the wheel smirking as he passed them.

  Rachel grabbed Ryan’s arm, sensing he was about to drag the idiot out of his car and beat him to a pulp. “Just let it go.”

  “Did you see that? He had kids in the back. He was playing with their lives with his mad driving.”

  “Ry Ry,” said Leah, pointing at the building.

  “Okay Cupcake, let’s go.”

  He started pushing the buggy and Rachel snaked her arm through his. “I’m proud of you.”

  Ryan swelled with pleasure, the idiot forgotten. No one had ever said those words to him before.

  The morning went well, apart from when Ryan stood in a pile of cow dung and he wished he hadn’t worn his best shoes. When Rachel laughed again he didn’t take umbrage. If it had been anyone else laughing at him he’d have torn them apart but he liked it when Rachel laughed, it gave them a deeper sense of intimacy.

  For lunch they headed to the zoo café and while Rachel waited at a table with Leah, the Corsa runt ducked in front of Ryan at the queue, flashing that smug smile at him over his shoulder. Ryan’s hands bunched into fists and his jaw clenched. He had always prided himself on only using violence when necessary, considering himself a cut above most of the gorillas he worked with but he would happily beat this turd to death in front of everyone. His anger was assuaged a little when the two ladies serving flirted with him shamelessly, ignoring the little runt. Ryan remained polite but for once didn’t flirt back. His mood only lightened even more when he saw the runt sit at a table with two screaming boys and a woman who made Jabba the Hut look anorexic. Ryan sat next to his raven haired beauty cooing over the well behaved bonny little girl and smiled at the runt, who pouted and looked away.

  The rest of the day went well and Leah had a wonderful time. They walked back to the car harmoniously and Ryan was pleased because Rachel had invited him to stay over. After settling Leah in her seat and loading up the car they jumped back in and Ryan drove towards the exit. Suddenly the little red Corsa pulled out in front of them. Ryan slammed on, jolting them all forwards in their seats, narrowly avoiding a collision.

  “Are you alright?” he asked Rachel.

  “Fine.”

  He turned in his seat to look at Leah. “Okay Cupcake?”

  In response she gave him one of her big grins. The thought that they both could have been hurt infuriated him.

  “That’s it,” he spat, throwing off his seatbelt and jumping out of the car.

  The runt jumped out of his car too and moved to meet him.

  “Are you fucking blind you idiot?” bellowed Ryan. “Didn’t you see me in a great fucking big black car?”

  “You were going too fast,” retorted the runt.

  Ryan sized him up in an instant, he knew his type. No doubt in the rock he lived under he probably had a bit of a rep, he wasn’t scared when he fucking should be and despite his size he was probably a bit handy but that cut no ice with Ryan.

  “I was going five miles an hour. But that probably is fast to you isn’t it, driving that heap of shit about?”

  “Want to make something of it, do you?”

  Ryan shoved him roughly, his strength startling the runt. “Nothing would give me greater pleasure.”

  The runt looked into Ryan’s cold eyes and swallowed nervously, realising he’d taken on someone who could probably do him some serious damage but he was too stupid to back down. He was relieved when the woman got out, hoping she’d diffuse the situation.

  “Ryan,” Rachel called, “Leah’s tired. Hurry up and rip his limbs off so we can go home.”

  The runt’s face fell when Ryan rounded on him with an evil smile and burning eyes.

  Recognition filled Jabba’s eyes as she looked from Rachel to Ryan then back again.

  “Oh crap.”

  She whispered something in the runt’s ear that caused him to visibly pale.

  “Look I’m sorry mate, I didn’t see you,” he stammered, attempting to talk his way out of it.

  “I’m not surprised, you’re probably too fucking short to see through the mirror,” snarled Ryan. Although he didn’t touch him he still managed to pin the runt up against his own car. “You’re the worst driver I’ve ever seen, you put your own kids at risk with your stupid moves.”

  “I do, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

  “I’ll drive home,” said Jabba, fear in her eyes as she looked at Ryan.

  “I think you should because this arsehole is too fucking stupid.”

  “Yes I am,” he quivered.

  Ryan lowered his voice so no one could overhear. “I’ve got your licence plate. If I see your car anywhere near mine again I’ll track you down and stuff you up your own exhaust. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  “Excellent. Now get this pile of crap out of my way.”

  With one last glare Ryan stalked back to his car and both he and Rachel jumped in, watching with satisfied smiles as Jabba reversed the car out of their way and gave them a nervous smile and a wave.

  “Well done for not hitting him,” said Rachel. “That must have taken a lot of control. I was half tempted myself.”

  “It did.”

  “And I appreciate that. You’ll get an extra special treat tonight,” she purred, running her hand up his thigh.

  The thought of the evening ahead dispelled Ryan’s foul mood and he took her hand and kissed it.

  Ryan and Rachel couldn’t get enough of each other. He stayed over that night and when she returned home from taking Leah to nursery the next morning he was still there and they rushed up to her bedroom together. So they didn’t hear Mikey when he arrived.

  “Rach?” he called, walking straight in, as he usually did. “Hello?” he frowned when he couldn’t find her anywhere downstairs.

  After everything that happened to Rachel, he rushed straight upstairs when he heard what he thought was a scream.

  “Rach,” he cried in alarm, flinging her bedroom door open wide. “Oh shit.”

  “Mikey,” she exclaimed in horror, pulling the sheet around herself to hide her nakedness, sat astride an equally naked Ryan Law.

  “Oh God, I’m sorry,” said Mikey, stunned, before closing the door and beating a hasty retreat down the stairs.

  “Mikey, wait,” she called, climbing off Ryan and throwing on her robe.

  Ryan followed, after pulling on his clothes.

  “Mikey, please stop,” Rachel called again as he reached the front door.

  He stopped and turned, face bright red. “I heard a scream, I didn’t realise it was that sort of scream. I thought you were in trouble.”

  “I appreciate you checking on me but I need to explain.”

  “What’s to explain? It’s none of my business.”

  “This has just started between me and Ryan, that’s why no one knows yet.”

  “I’ve always known you liked each other but I didn’t realise it had got this far.”

  Ryan came up beside Rachel and took her hand. “Well it has and it’s going really well.”

  Rachel looked up at Ryan and smiled. “Yes it is so we’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell anyone. We’re not ready for them to know yet.”

  “Like I said, it’s none of my business and of course I won’t say a word.”

  “Thank you. So, what do you think?”

  He noted the sparkle in Rachel’s eyes and she had been so cheerful lately. “Are you happy Rach?”

  “Yes I am.”

  “Then I’m happy too.”

  Rachel beamed at him, pleased with his approval.

  Mikey’s expression turned serious as he looked at Ryan. “If you hurt her I will kick the shit out of you.”

  “I won’t hurt her, you can bet your life on it.”

  Ryan’s eyes locked with Rachel’s and Mikey saw the connection between them, it certainly seemed to be the r
eal thing.

  “In that case I’ll leave you to it. Sorry for bursting in on you like that,” he said, flashing his cheeky grin, telling Rachel that everything was okay. “I’m going to need therapy to block out the image of Ryan naked.”

  “Cheeky little bastard,” grinned Ryan. “And thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Did you come round for anything in particular?” said Rachel.

  “Just to let you know that I’ve got a date with that redhead from your spa. I wanted to get your blessing first.”

  “Of course you have it. By the way, she has a weakness for Italian food and red roses.”

  “Thanks for the tip. Right, well, I’ll let you get back to it then,” he said saucily before sauntering out.

  Ryan and Rachel looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Has that interruption killed the mood for you?” she said, looking up at Ryan.

  “Nothing could do that to me where you’re concerned. Let’s go back upstairs but this time, make sure you lock the door first.”

  After she’d locked the front door he took her hand and they raced back upstairs together.

  The relationship between Ryan and Rachel continued covertly for another few weeks, Mikey and Beth the only two people in on the secret. Their feelings for each other deepened, Ryan spending most of his free time at Rachel’s house and he grew closer to Leah too, who worshipped him. As Rachel realised her feelings for Ryan were swiftly developing into love she was struck with guilt. Danny had only been dead sixteen months. So she took a trip to visit his grave, carrying a bunch of flowers for both him and Frank. She came here every week, usually to sit in contemplative silence and enjoy being close to them but today she had the need to talk.

  “I want to tell you that I’ve started seeing Ryan Law,” she began, staring at Danny’s name carved into the black granite in gold letters. “And it’s getting serious. I know you and Ryan didn’t always see eye to eye but he makes me happy and Leah adores him.” Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. “But my feelings for him do nothing to diminish my love for you. I’ll love you forever Babe and I miss you constantly. You’ll always be Leah’s daddy and I swear she’ll know who you are. You can never be replaced,” she said, running her fingertip along the ‘D’ of his name. “But I have to get on with my life and I don’t want to be alone. I hope you’ll understand and be happy for me.” She looked to Frank’s grave. “You’re missed too Frank and we all love you both so much. Your deaths tore holes in our lives that can never be filled so we just go on as best we can without you. You’d be so proud of Alex, he’s doing really well running the businesses and he’s a good husband and father too but he learnt from the best.” She touched the top of Danny’s gravestone. “I love you Danny and no one will ever make that stop, I promise. Goodbye Babe. See you next week.”