Heart of Steel

by Samantha M. Derr

  *~*~*

  Aria had imagined having this conversation too many times to count. The conversation where she told her mother she couldn't stand tending the forge, that she didn't want to smell like iron and stone for the rest of her life, that she dreamed of smelling like sea salt instead, like forests and spices from far away from the continent.

  "No," her mother insisted as soon as Tess had finished explaining the situation. "No. Tell her you can't go."

  She looked to Aria expectantly, as if she could rouse the winning argument. Even if she could, Aria knew she wouldn't, and looked away. "I have to go, Mama."

  Her mother shuddered in suppressed rage, glaring at Tess. "We offer our home to you for your recovery, and you repay me by telling my daughter she must do anything. You ungrateful—"

  "Mama!" Aria snapped. "What do you think the princes would do to our little town if I didn't? If we hoarded a dragon meant for them? It's not just that, either." She took a breath and said something that had been on her lips for years. "Mama, I want to go with her."

  Her mother shook again, though not with rage. "But the forge…"

  "Mama, I never wanted to be a blacksmith." The words came out like a flood, like a dam being broken or like snow sliding down a hill. It was sudden and Aria felt the tension release in her chest the moment she said it. She wondered if that was why the dragon had chosen her. "I want to be a trader. I want to see the world—"

  "The world is dangerous!" her mother snapped back, and Aria recoiled. Even Tess seemed to start at the sharpness of her voice. "You saw that today. There are soldiers of the Eleven out there. And the princes—Aria, this can't be happening."

  "Mama," Aria insisted, carefully reaching out her hand to her upset mother. "It is happening."

  "Ma'am," Tess interjected, and Aria's mother shot her a look that had sent fully grown dwarven traders from the underside cowering away. Tess raised a hand as a peacemaking gesture. "I am a knight. By the old and the new, I swear to protect your daughter before the Dwarven princes, or my life I offer in recompense."

  Aria's mother watched Tess throughout her speech, and they both held their breath in the minute it took for her to study Tess, decipher her intent.

  She folded her hands carefully over her apron. "Well, my brother's nephew by marriage has always had an interest in the forge. Perhaps I could reach out to him." She looked up, raised her chin to Aria who—once again—quivered under a gaze which loved dearly but was firm, and now deeply hurt. "Are you sure this is really what you want?"

  Maybe this wasn't what Aria had expected when she dreamed of the sky, but it was a way to get what she wanted most. "I'm sure, Mama. I'm going of my own volition."

  Her mother nodded, and then her tears fell. Aria glanced at Tess, whose gaze was fixed firmly on her own hands, tightly clenched in front of her.

  Aria felt the tension subside, even as the painful knot in her chest tightened.

  Tess took a break from pondering her fists to face Aria. She seemed knowing in a way that Aria wanted to understand someday. She wondered, then, how much of her call had to do with Tess herself.

  *~*~*

  The next morning, Aria gathered up her small backpack, and a little carrying case the local tanner fashioned for her for the hatchling, who was happily snacking on a fresh meal of worms as Aria approached Tess—who had donned her old breastplate once again, albeit with the dent popped back out. She stood at the side of the enormous flame-colored dragon named Merryn.

  Aria hugged her mother one last time, let her neighbors strap her in behind Tess, and left Rockwood behind.

  *~*~*

  As they flew away from the little dwarven village in the mountains, towards the High Mountain and their stop at the embassy outside of the night, Tess tried not to think about how Aria's grip on her waist got tighter and tighter, or how—as they climbed—Aria's grip loosened, and she chanced more and more glances over the side of Merryn's flank to see the jagged, jutting mountains rising towards them and the hundreds of blue-green lakes nestled between them. Merryn soared up between the snow, and dove over plateaus of endless green grass between ranges. Tess had never seen so much grass stretching so far in any direction. It was the oddest part of the trip to her.

  Soon after that, however, the endless flat of the plateau gave way to rolling foothills before again ceding the landscape to the mountains. These were different from the others, it seemed. Where the last range was impossibly tall and jagged, this mountain range was shorter, with each mountain rounder and possessing a conical top.

  Occasionally, they flew by one with a puff of white near the top, and Tess didn't know the terrain enough to know if that was a steam from the heart beneath the mountains, or just clouds that got caught in the wrong kind of current.

  Human legends said that dragons had first been born from mountains that breathed fire.

  They flew together in silence, leaving Tess to wonder what was going through Aria's mind. It couldn't have been easy to leave behind everything she knew for the life of a dragon rider—or the possible bloody death of a thief, but there Aria was. Not fleeing for the coast, where the Mountain Guard would never follow her, and not staying put, stubbornly denying what fate had lain at her feet.

  Tess thought of the conversation between Aria and her mother, and how Aria had said she'd always wanted to see the world. Tess had always prided herself on her own courage, but the desire for a life away from the one she'd always known struck a particular chord with her. Tess knew what it was like, even if she'd parted with her parents under less than ideal circumstances, when she'd sworn to join the Legion. It was different farther inland, but where she was born, the only job of a daughter was to give birth to a son strong enough to go to sea. The thought suffocated her.

  Merryn rose with the wind again, and Tess tried not to think about the way Aria's arms tightened around her stomach, how they pushed in the mail to pinch her tunic and how it was hard to notice in the wind. Somehow, she still managed to.

  She'd only known Aria a day, and yet she already felt a connection to her—one that almost reminded her of the moment when Merryn had dropped from the sky to interrupt her knighting ceremony, and something old and powerful pulled her hand from her side, telling her to reach out to him even as her Legion candidate classmates scattered like birds at the site of such a powerful, famous beast.

  It hadn't been one-sided, as much as Tess wanted to scream and deny that part in her that had touched her palm to Merryn's nose. She'd sensed it too, the pull towards the sky, the heat in her blood that surged and made her forget everything she thought she wanted. That moment was the combined understanding of being faced with a stranger she had never met before, and at the same time, knew as if he'd always been by her side as a friend.

  The way she felt for Aria reminded her of that moment.

  *~*~*

  That night, they set down on the foot of the High Mountain. Below was a bustling dwarven city, a spiraling, miraculous, constructed series of buildings winding up the side, leading to the massive set of double doors that guarded the seat of Dwarven power: the secret heart of the Principalities, where the Dwarven princes convened to greet foreign emissaries or to wage war.

  There was a large building that served as an embassy near the entrance, where those visiting dignitaries often spent the night. A large dragon roost was carved into the side of the rock to give travelling dragons a place to stay. While their riders generally stayed in the inn, some were close enough with their dragons that they would stay with them in the roosts.

  Not Tess.

  She couldn't imagine being that close to Merryn. Wasn't sharing her thoughts and emotions with him enough? What more would this bond sap from her with time?

  The second they touched down, Tess sent a runner to the princes to inform them of her arrival, and to inform them of her intent to speak to them in the morning. She pondered telling them that the hatchling had already chosen a rider, but decided she didn't want to give them the time
to get angry about it.

  Let no one say she wasn't an artful politician in training.

  Merryn was safely in the roost and Aria fed the hatchling near one of the enormous fireplaces in the embassy's dining hall. Tess went to see the healer stationed there, who rubbed a healing salve onto her shoulder and chest. Tess tried not to let out the pained nose she wanted to when the healer asked her to take off her armor, and she did her best not to cry with pain as she did so. She couldn't keep the occasional grimace from her lips. The healer, fortunately, was nothing like the medics in the Legion and did not give Tess any grief for the sounds she made.

  Within an hour, however, her chest and shoulder felt better. Afterwards, Tess went to visit the kitchens. She got two large helpings of beef stew and a bottle of spiced wine that she brought out to where Aria sat. The hatchling noticed Tess first and raised its head to acknowledge her. After the hatchling noticed her, Aria wasn't far behind, and a bright, honest smile at seeing Tess split Aria's face.

  Tess felt her cheeks heat up, and she knew it wasn't the wine because she hadn't had any yet.

  She sat down next to Aria and handed her one of the bowls of stew. "You've had an eventful two days."

  Aria huffed into the bowl. "You can say that as often as you'd like." She shrugged. "I mean, apart from the possibility of dying as a thief—me! A dragon rider! Can you imagine?"

  Her smile widened, and Tess found Aria's raw joy contagious. She took a bite of stew and popped the cork on the wine with the little corkscrew tool the kitchen had given her. She poured a little in Aria's glass before serving herself. "Good news or not, it's a lot to handle. How are you faring?"

  Aria paused and pressed her hands to the cup of stew to warm them, although the dining hall was a comfortable temperature. "I'm scared of what the princes will say, obviously, but I'm also relieved. I was terrified of staying at that forge for the rest of my life." She took a bite and Tess took a sip of wine. Aria wiped some stew from her upper brow and fidgeted excitedly in place. "What about you? What were you doing before you were chosen by Merryn?"

  Tess stiffened before she placed the wine back on the bench. The hatchling saw it, stretched out its little nose to sniff it, but Tess adeptly moved it a little further away. She'd grown up with rescue dogs as her constant companions, after all. "I was about to receive my shield and serve as a knight in the Legion of the Bold." Aria's confused look prompted Tess to explain. "The most elite of the elite. The queen's vanguard and her rear guard. First and last to fight in her name." Tess repeated the mantra from memory, and it brought her back to the academy, to the pride she'd felt there.

  "And being selected by Merryn meant you couldn't do that anymore."

  Tess dipped the loaf of bread in her stew. "I guess anyone can see I'm a little bitter about that." Her words ran from her mouth so fast, she had a hard time keeping up, and she was afraid of tearing up again. "It's an honor. My people, we see ourselves as descended from the dragons. We see them as our kin. They've been our greatest defenders for eons. But—"

  "It's a wonderful thing," Aria interrupted, breaking off Tess's monologue. "But it's not what you wanted."

  Tess swallowed, glad to hear the words from someone else's lips, and glad to hear they weren't judgmental. "Precisely."

  "I understand." Aria downed the last of her soup and folded her shorter legs onto the long, stone bench, staring into the fire. "You wouldn't know it from what I said to my mother last night, but I do love the smithy. It's a long and proud tradition, and it's been in my family for generations, but I only ever felt like I was a visitor in my own life when I thought about running it someday."

  "I know that feeling well." Tess's voice dropped, and she realized how quiet the hall was, how she was watching Aria in the glow from the fireplace, watching the light play off her auburn hair, which was much longer now that she was letting it hang free. She would likely cut it off, but in the moment, Tess was mesmerized.

  Aria caught Tess watching her and smiled back.

  Gods above, below, and swimming in the sea, what other mistakes could Tess make on one trip? Maybe it wasn't working out to be such a disaster. Tess coughed to break the tension. "You should get some rest. Big day tomorrow."

  "R-right," Aria affirmed and nervously ran her hands down her tunic as Tess mumbled a good night and rose to leave. "Wait, Tess."

  Tess turned around, and knew it was a bad sign if she already liked hearing Aria say her name quite so much as she did right then. She gathered her wits but couldn't keep herself from blushing. "Yes, Aria?"

  Aria firmly managed, "You know, after tomorrow, when a knight saves a lady—among the Dwarves, I mean, when a night saves a lady, it's customary for the lady to offer them a kiss."

  It sounded brave and flirtatious, but it was barely spoken loudly enough to be heard over the roar of the fireplaces in the almost-empty embassy dining hall. She glanced down as she said it, hands tightly clenching each other as she waited for Tess's response.

  Tess felt a wide grin split her face, and she courteously bowed, as she had been taught to do when at court. "Very well then, Lady Dwarf Aria, of the Rockwood and the unnamed dragon, I certainly hope we both survive tomorrow if that is the case. She rose, and Aria beamed. "Good night, Aria."

  Aria also offered a "good night" and went back to tending her hatchling.

  But instead of heading to her room, first, Tess took a detour to the roost.

  Merryn was the only dragon occupying a cave that night, and Tess made her way onto the high stone walkway to the octagonal room that was cut into the side of the mountain. It was a hand-made cave piled with countless polished pebbles for visiting dragons to sleep on.

  Merryn sensed her arrival, and a cascade of pebbles rolled towards Tess when he raised his head to see her, a sleepy, regarding look in his eyes, which stared back at her half-lidded.

  "I'm sorry," Tess said.

  You don't have to use your voice. I can hear your thoughts.

  "I like this better," she replied. "Anyway, I've been… a bit hard to swallow since you chose me. I apologize."

  There was a long pause as Merryn regarded her before shifting on his bed of polished stones, resting his long neck on one mound, as if he was very tired, even defeated. I should be sorry.

  "Why?"

  I saw only the way your heart burned. You were so happy to be receiving your shield at the ceremony. He closed his eyes and turned his head, as if in shame. You reminded me of him. He had that passion, so I chose you.

  Tess listened, patiently, finding a seat on a small rock outcropping on the side of the roost.

  I didn't know what a mistake it was to choose you until your triumph turned to ash and disappointment. I should have let you be.

  Tess thought back to that day, and her heart hurt. She'd been given a high honor, and she'd thrown it back in Merryn's face. "Please don't be," she said. "Only a few can be knights of the Legion. Fewer still can be riders. You're a symbol to us."

  It's not what you wanted.

  "Go hang what I wanted," Tess tried to keep it from sounding like she snapped, but she was tired and tried to play it off as a joke. "I'm still a knight of the queen. That's what matters most." She stared at her hands.

  I've felt like I forced something terrible on you to sooth myself. Merryn's thoughts reverberated through Tess, low and sad. For the first time, she let them in completely.

  She let him see the way she truly did love the sky, the pain from raw dreams she only recently let go of. Tess let him see, reassured him, that he shouldn't take it personally—that she could regret her career in the Legion, but that it would fade, and that it didn't mean she couldn't appreciate her life as a rider.

  Merryn showed her his pain and regret, in turn. She saw Prince Salle, the shining son not just of the queen's service, but of the entire kingdom and every rider in it. She thought of his red hair, and everyone believed he and Merryn would save the humans from the soldiers of the Eleven once and for all. Merryn showed h
er more—showed her a man who'd loved to laugh, who preferred flying by the moon to carrying a rampart.

  And then he'd died.

  Tess saw, then, that the well she'd sensed in Merryn from the beginning was only a hint of his true grief. Dragons and riders almost never survived the death of the other, and Tess could see that Merryn had been able to take comfort in no one. No other living dragon knew what it was to mourn their rider, and he could not communicate to humans he was not bonded with.

  Tess thought she'd been a necessity and an inconvenient child; she thought that Merryn chose her whether she'd wanted it or not, whether he'd wanted it or not. Now she saw his loneliness.

  The wall between their minds came up again—however, instead of being jagged and defensive, this new barrier between their minds felt different, less prickly.

  "Thank you for showing me that. If I'd let you in sooner—"

  It's not important. What's done is done. I am… glad we talked. Merryn folded his claws again, one over the other, and lifted his head high. What about the meeting with the princes tomorrow?

  "I have some ideas."

  I fear the pettiness of living things, Merryn replied, and for the first time, Tess found it easy to hear his wisdom.

  *~*~*

  Aria never thought she would see the great stone doors of High Mountain, during a convening of all three princes no less. They opened at dawn and closed at dusk, and except during times of war, they were as steady as the stars. According to custom, Merryn waited outside, and he stood at the top of the enormous stone staircase, studying Aria and Tess as they walked into the smoothed walls carved by thousands of dwarven hands.

  Soon, they disappeared into the heart of High Mountain. When Merryn was no longer in sight, fear finally settled into Aria's stomach. She watched Tess walk in front of her in full armor, except for the helmet that she had tucked under her elbow. A sword bounced at her hip and her eyes were fixed ahead of them on the long lines of dwarven guards that watched the endlessly descending hallways and staircases. Tess's face was as stern and serious as Aria had seen it yet.