“Eric’s looking for you,” she says. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Just checking messages.”
“Have you forgiven him? He’s been so worried he got an ulcer.”
“I, uh, I don’t have anything to say.”
She opens her purse and takes out her lipstick. “We all really like you. Can you give him another chance? He’s had a real hard time with not matching. He felt he failed you.”
I swallow a surge of bile and rub my queasy stomach. “Answer me, Marisa. You’ve been with Tim for a year already, right?”
She nods as she touches up her lipstick.
“If you failed a class or couldn’t find a job, wouldn’t you share it with him? Or would you cut him off and say you need a break from the relationship?”
She shifts her gaze to me through the mirror. “It’s different. He’s a man. He has to be the strong one, the one you can look up to. He’s already on his hands and knees coming to you and admitting his faults. Why are you kicking him when he’s down? I thought you loved him.”
“I do, er, I did,” I mutter, my gut clenching. If Eric had come even a week ago, I would have fallen all over myself to go back to him. “I’m sorry. I’m not kicking him. I just don’t feel the same way about him anymore.”
My head is hot and starts to throb between the temples. I take several calming breaths while washing my hands. “Please understand. I would have been there for him to support him and help him if he’d told me, but he cut me off. I can never trust him again.”
She frowns and heads for one of the stalls. “He loves you and wants to marry you. You can’t throw away five years for a single mistake.”
I stomp out of the bathroom and head for the patio. The music is deafening and the air is stuffy. My head swims with a combination of dizziness and pain. Maybe Romeo is taking a break now that the karaoke is in full bloom. I fumble for my phone.
“There you are,” Eric says. “They’re calling for you.”
“Who?” My heart leaps. “Are my parents okay?”
“Come on, you’ll see.” He’s grinning and plants a kiss on my cheek.
“Uh, no. I don’t do karaoke.”
“Don’t worry, someone else will do the singing. The mayor wants to thank your parents.”
“Okay, sure.” I wouldn’t want to miss their moment of honor, no matter how much I wish to disappear. I follow Eric back to the kare-kare room.
The MC introduces the mayor who says a few words about the importance of civic duty and how Barrio XO is a shining example of a business that gives to the community. My parents stand and everyone claps. I sneak a peek at Romeo. He’s standing behind the karaoke machine, his eyes fixed on my parents.
The mayor hands the mic to the MC, who gestures at Eric. “Thank you, Mr. Mayor, and now, we have a word from one of our sponsors.”
Eric drags me onto the stage and takes the microphone from the master of ceremonies. Wait. What’s going on? I cast around desperately for my parents or anyone to explain, but no one catches my eye.
“Hi, everyone, I’m Eric Shen, platinum level sponsor for Warspring, International. How’s everyone doing tonight?”
“Great!” the exuberant crowd answers.
“We’re all here for a good cause and I’m happy that we’re having fun. But tonight is a special night for me.” Eric squeezes my hand and lifts it to his chest. “And I hope it’s a special night for my wonderful girlfriend, Evangeline Sánchez, whose parents have graciously donated their restaurant for this benefit concert.”
The audience cheers and claps, but the smile freezes on my face and an icy mantle drops on my shoulders despite the heat of the spotlight.
Eric drops to his knees, and there is a collective gasp. No, no, I’m shaking my head. Don’t do this. Don’t.
A ring box opens in my field of vision and a giant solitaire diamond sparkles under the multicolored lights.
“Evangeline María Apostol Sánchez, will you do me the great honor of marrying me?”
Some wise guy drums the table as everyone waits for my answer.
“No, no, I don’t believe this.” I gasp and stumble, but Eric catches me.
Some people in the crowd groan, and someone says, “Don’t do that to him.”
Another voice says, “Ah… she’s shocked,” when Eric cradles me in his arms, dropping the mic onto the floor.
“Lina, don’t embarrass me in front of my parents,” he pleads. “Say you’ll marry me.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“Just nod and we’ll get off the stage, please. You’re hurting me.”
“You can’t do this to me,” I whisper.
He tucks his head close to mine. “I’m so sorry, please say ‘yes.’”
The MC picks up the mic and says, “The drama of young love. I say we give them some time. Anyone else have any questions they want to pop?”
There’s a polite tittering of laughter at the MC’s attempt at defusing the tension.
“Will you at least dance with me?” Eric holds me around my waist.
“Okay, sure. Let’s get off this stage.” I nod and pull his arm.
“Looks like it’s a yes?” The MC waves to the crowd. “Congratulations, let’s have a song for the young couple’s first dance.”
Oh, shit. No. I cringe and try to back away, but Eric holds me steady. “Save face for me and my parents, the sponsors and trustees. Think of the publicity for the kids, the orphans. Just one dance.”
I close my eyes and tuck my face on his shoulder, unable to look at anyone. This is horrible, but the cameras are rolling and Eric’s parents don’t deserve to be humiliated.
“I’m not accepting the ring,” I whisper.
He turns me so his body is between me and the audience and sticks it in his pocket. “I’ll grovel a hundred years. I won’t give up.”
Romeo taps the mic and announces the song “Ikaw Ang Lahat Sa Akin” or “You Mean Everything To Me,” by Martin Nievera. (unofficial translation)
The Filipino members of the audience immediately recognize it with clapping, ah’s and oh’s. It’s a song of unrequited love, loving forever, waiting without end.
The accompanying keyboard starts the melody and Romeo’s baritone voice picks up the lyrics. Eric leads me in a sad dance. My body glides against his, but I don’t belong to him. I’m only able to stand because Romeo’s voice wraps me in a blanket of emotion, taking me off the stage on a journey with him. We’re on Juliet, his motorcycle, me holding onto him. Tears stream freely, my body is light, and I float toward him, singing along, my voice rising in tandem with his, unable to suppress my emotion.
Romeo, my true love. I’m screaming out my love for you, and if not this moment, then I’ll wait and wait, past the end of time because Romeo, you mean everything to me.
Chapter 29
The summer sunlight warms my room even though it’s still early. The absence of the morning mist means it’s going to be a scorcher. I groan and rub my aching eyes.
There’s a light tapping at my door.
“Evie,” Mama says. “How are you feeling?”
Her concern sends a fresh volley of tears hurtling to my eyes. “Not good, I don’t know what to do.”
She steps in and places my purse on my bed. “You left this at the restaurant last night.”
“Oh, good.” I spill it upside down and grab my cell phone. There’s no message from Romeo.
I call him. It goes straight to voicemail without ringing. I throw the phone across the room. “He’s turned off his phone. He hates me.”
“Oh, darling, he doesn’t.” Mama floods me into her arms. “He needs time after what happened last night.”
“Why isn’t he returning my calls. What if he’s cut me off and I’ll never see or hear from him again?”
Mama shushes me and dabs my tears with her fingers. “He isn’t returning anyone’s calls. Elena says he’s gone to Mexico.”
“Mexico. Is he not coming back
?”
“Shh… Anak, tell me what’s going on with you. What is this?” She sweeps her hand across the contents of my purse, the cigarettes, lighter, and picks up the package insert for the emergency contraceptive pill. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
“No, I don’t know. I didn’t take the pill. I’m not overdue or anything. I’ve been irregular because of the stress.”
“But I heard you throwing up. When could this have happened? It’s too soon to be Romeo’s.” She shakes the insert. “Do you even remember when you had your last period? We have to get a pregnancy test.”
“What does it matter? I’ll never see him again. Maybe if I have his baby, he might at least want to see it.”
“You’re telling me you haven’t been careful? Evie, are you going to throw everything away? Your career? Your future?”
“Yes, yes. I’ll give up everything for him, and if he doesn’t want me, I’ll wait forever.”
“Didn’t you feel this way about Eric? Evie, you have to get ahold of yourself.” She drags me into her arms. “I know you’re hurting, confused, but you need to take time for yourself. No Eric. No Romeo. Just you. What do you want?”
I cry on her shoulders. It feels good to be cuddled and held by my mother and remember the way she used to comfort me when I skinned a knee or had a fight with Papa.
“I want to be a success, and I want another chance with Romeo.” I hiccup and dry my tears. “Will you help me?”
She presses my hair from my face. “Of course I will. Anything.”
I fumble on the bed for the ring. “I bought this for Romeo. I wanted him to know I love him, but I never had a chance to give it to him. Can you ask Tita Elena to give it to him?”
She opens the box and her eyes moisten. “She’s confused too. She said you told her you cared about Romeo right before meeting Eric. It was painful for her to watch her son hurt and humiliated. Your father’s furious at you for leading Romeo on. He says he warned you.”
“Why is everyone blaming me? I didn’t know Eric was going to show up. Mama, please help me. You’re my only chance.”
Mama closes the box, her lips tight in a grim line. “I’ll take it to her, but don’t get your hopes up. She may be my best friend, but she’s a mother first. I’ll call her before she makes any plans for the day.”
I throw my arms around her. “Thank you, thank you. Tell her I love Romeo and I never wanted to hurt him.”
“I believe you.” Mama lifts off the bed and goes to the door. “Believe in yourself.”
# # #
Papa gives everyone the day off and closes the restaurant to allow the cleaning crews time to spiff it up for the evening. I pack my suitcase, neatly arranging all my clothes and books, but I have no room for the motorcycle helmet I bought. Sadly, I’ll have to leave the jacket, pants, gloves, and boots behind. I pick up the outfit from the movie shoot and press the skirt over my tummy. Is it my imagination or am I a little bloated?
Somehow the thought doesn’t strike fear in my heart. I check out my reflection in the mirror and turn sideways. It’s too soon to tell, but a smile creeps up my face. There’s a small glimmer of hope.
I fold the skirt, kiss it, and place it in my suitcase. Mama has been gone two hours, and my stomach reminds me it’s lunch time.
Choco, Genie, and Brian are in the kitchen laughing and joking around. They clam up as soon as I round the corner.
“Hey, what’s cooking?” I force a grin and saunter into the kitchen as if everything’s normal.
“Pancit bihon, what else?” Brian pours boiling water over the thin rice noodles.
Choco hands the stir-fry spatula to Genie and wraps me in a hug. “Little sister, everything’s going to be okay. I wish I’d been there to kick Eric’s butt.”
“He’s an idiot,” Genie says. “We all hate him for ruining your life.”
“A real dickhead,” Brian agrees. “With a name like Eric Shen, say that fast a few times.”
“Okay, guys, thanks for sticking up for me.” I give them a group hug. “But I don’t care where Eric Shen sticks his. I only care about Romeo. Has Mama called or said anything?”
“No, not heard from her,” Choco says. “You all packed?”
“Yep, unfortunately,” I reply. “Will you take me to the airport tomorrow?”
“We’re all taking you.” Papa appears at the kitchen doorway. “That pancit smells good. Let’s eat and be happy.”
Mama returns while we’re stuffing our faces with the delicious eggplant and ham pancit. One look, and my heart careens to the ground.
“I’m sorry, Anak.” She encircles me in a hug. “Tita says she’ll tell him, but he’s not even talking to her. He texted her from a stranger’s cell phone saying he’s okay, but wants to be left alone.”
“Does she understand? Did you explain?” I’m desperate for any word of reassurance.
Mama glances at Papa and lowers her eyes. “She said she hopes he finds a girl like me, someone to pick up the pieces left by girls like her. She says you’re a lot like she was, too full of your own hopes and dreams to understand how life is for the ordinary people who are left in your wake. Sorry, Evie.”
Chapter 30
I wake up at four-thirty in the morning and check my messages. Eric left me a voicemail and text: Can we talk when I get time off?
He’s back at Boston and starting his first day of internship. I really want to cut him off and ignore him, but both of us need closure and I don’t want him to imagine anything that isn’t there.
I text back: On my way to the airport. Let me know when you’re free.
I can’t help not texting Romeo: Going to the airport now. Please don’t be a stranger.
Papa has the van ready and everyone climbs in.
“What are you guys going to do the rest of the day?” I ask, knowing it’s my family’s day off.
“Taking a tour of the harbor on that Seal Tour amphibious vehicle,” my father says. “You should have asked before booking the flight and came with us.”
“It’s okay.” I pull on my sunglasses. No one needs to see how red-rimmed my eyes are. My menstrual period started this morning and I’m achy and depressed. The next few months will be me, alone with my books. My Society Master sent me an email informing me that Professor Chu is ready for my remedial work plan. Harvard tries not to flunk any of its medical students. They brag that you have to try harder to fail out than to pass, but they really do put you through the meat grinder.
We arrive at the airport sooner than I wanted. Papa insists on parking and walking me to the security gate. I truly appreciate my family, but sometimes they can get to be too much.
I check my bags and head to the security line. It’s still early, but business travelers are already lined up at the scanners.
“In the old days we could have walked you to the gate and watched you board,” Mama says, tugging my sleeve. “Will you be okay?”
“Yes, I’ll be fine.” I hug her. “I never told you this, but I wish I could be more like you. I’m so lucky you’re my mom. You’re not critical or finding fault all the time and you always support me, even when I do stupid things.”
“Be good now, Evie.” Papa steps in and kisses me. “Go get them, tigress. You’ll be a wonderful doctor.”
“Oh, Papa.” I fall into his arms. “You were always right. I wish I listened to you more.”
Choco, Genie, and Brian all hug me and we exchange kisses. We must be blocking the security line because a TSA guard clears his throat and asks us to step to the side.
“Ate, come back end of summer,” Genie says. “Before I go to Berkeley.”
“I’m sorry I’ll miss your graduation, I love you, and I’m sorry for everything.” I hug her and wipe tears from under my sunglasses.
“I forgive you everything. Just come back when you’re a famous doctor.” She relinquishes me to Choco.
Choco’s crying so hard she has nothing to say. She blubbers and sputters, patting my
back hard enough to knock out my fillings.
Brian gives me a fist bump. “Bye, sis. Kick him in the balls.”
Mama straightens my shirt, tucks my hair behind my ears and gives me a final kiss. I turn toward the security line, dragging my carry-on.
When I look back, my family has departed. They knew I would never get past the line if they were looking on.
“Pssst, Evie.” A man’s voice hollers from the end of the line.
Romeo? My heart leaps and my pulse comes alive. I jump out of the line and rush into his arms.
“I need only a few minutes.” His voice is stiff and his eyes are red with dark circles underneath them.
“Are you okay?” I ask. “I was worried about you.”
“I couldn’t let you leave without seeing you, but I want you to go back.” His Adam’s apple bobbles and he swallows several times, blinking hard. “I need you to know that I will never cut you off. If you need anything…”
“Don’t worry, I’m not pregnant.”
He breathes a sigh and closes his eyes. “I’ll always be your friend.”
“Friend?” Waves of pain squeeze into my heart, rendering it incapable of beating steadily. Air exits my lungs and my throat constricts. “Do you forgive me for Saturday night? I didn’t—”
“Stop. We don’t have time for this.” He presses a restraining hand on my shoulder. “I’m letting you go. We both need to move on.”
“No, no. Don’t do this. I love you, Romeo. Don’t.” I clutch my throat and throw my forehead on his chest. “Give me a chance, please. I love you. Please.”
“Not now, Evie. You have a plane to catch.” His voice is firm as he reaches into his pocket. “My mother gave me the ring this morning and told me where to find you. You know I can’t keep it.”
“Yes, you can. Please keep it to remember me by.” Lancing pain slices my insides. I slide back into the line so he can’t give me the ring. “I have to go. Bye.”
He takes a step forward, his gaze holding me still. “Look in front of you and see what you have. The past is truly gone. Goodbye, Evangeline. Goodbye.”
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