The Doubt Factory

by Paolo Bacigalupi

  As she settled back in the car, her phone buzzed. She dug it out of her purse.

  Cynthia, texting: SAW YOU GET PICKED UP.

  Alix felt secretly pleased that even when Cynthia was busy, she still was looking out for Alix.

  I’M IN HELL, Alix texted back.

  TOO BAD. I’M DRINKING COFFEE WITH SOPHIE AND DEREK. SHE’S TELLING ME ABOUT ALEC. TOTAL TRAINWRECK!!!!

  UPDATE ME.

  HE’S A WEEEEET KISSER.

  EW!

  “Who are you texting with?” Jonah asked.

  “Cynthia.”

  “She’s cute,” Jonah said. “I saw her in a bikini at the pool.”

  Alix rolled her eyes at him. “Dream on. She’s so out of your league.”

  CAN YOU COME OUT?

  CAN’T. STUCK WITH DEATH BARBIE AND MY BRO.

  :( WE’LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

  That was Cynthia. Always looking out for her friends. It was the opposite of the mean-girl garbage that some girls played at. Cynthia paid attention to people. It sometimes made Alix feel like she wasn’t the best friend in the world, but Cynthia didn’t seem to care. Cynthia did nice things for people and then went on and didn’t worry about whether there was payback. Alix had once called her Zen nice, and Cynthia’s only comment had been that Zen wasn’t Chinese; it was Japanese.

  Cynthia texted again, ANY MORE FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND?

  ???, Alix texted back.

  STALKER MAN!

  HA!

  “What?” Jonah leaned over, trying to see, but Alix jerked her cell out of sight as she texted.

  WISH I WAS THERE.

  THERE’S A RAVE NEXT SATURDAY.

  RUB IT IN, WHY DON’T YOU?

  LOL. NOT WHAT I MEANT. WE’LL BUST YOU OUT. GIRL GOTS TO HAVE FUN.

  Alix smiled secretly. The car pulled up to the curb. Hulk and Death Barbie climbed out and opened the doors for her and Jonah.

  The house looked pretty much the same as it always had. The Williams & Crowe surveillance van was still parked across the street, but other than that, the security people had faded into the background. For all she knew, they had snipers in the trees. Inside the house, there were a few workmen from an electronic-security firm rewiring the house for another layer of protection.

  “What’s all this?” Alix asked as she threw her satchel onto the counter. The activity was like an ants’ nest. Her father was in the middle of it with George Saamsi. George grinned at her.

  “Security through the wonders of science and technology,” he said.

  “Yeah?” Jonah asked, immediately interested in the way he always got interested about something militaristic.

  “Motion sensors. New electronic eyes. Also, we’re putting in cameras for the street and yard approaches. Just in case.”

  “In case of what?”

  George shrugged. “Whatever 2.0 decides he’s up to.”

  Alix watched the proceedings, feeling as if her home was being taken over by an army. George seemed to read her mind. “Don’t worry, Alix. After today, they’ll all be gone, and you’ll be able to go back to your regular life.”

  “You mean my bodyguard’s going, too?” Jonah asked.

  George laughed. “You should look at this as an opportunity to study self-defense.”

  “You don’t have him following you around everywhere,” Jonah grumped.

  “Gunter knows eight different ways to kill a person with his bare hands in less than five seconds.”

  “Yeah?” Jonah perked up and went off in pursuit of Hulk.

  George’s eyes were twinkling when he caught Alix watching the exchange. “Please don’t tell your mother I said that.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ve got enough problems as it is.”

  “I hear you’ve been having some adventures lately.”

  “I’ve got my own personal stalker. It’s awesome.”

  George chuckled, and Alix was glad he was there. Somehow, it made all the disruption feel just a little more… if not normal, then at least acceptable. Alix had always thought of him as family. His official title was chief science liaison for Banks Strategy Partners, which really just meant that he was her father’s best friend and that they’d always been partners. She’d grown up with George around, in and out of their lives, dropping in for dinners. A familiar face at events. Every so often he showed up for the holidays with his ninety-year-old mother in tow, a woman who went from vague and disoriented to whip-funny, depending on her medications.

  Now George was urging the workmen to wrap everything up. Jonah wandered into the living room and fired up his Xbox. Pretty soon he had his sword out and was busy swinging away at some kid in Indonesia, his heavily armored avatar moving through a burning lava landscape, mirroring his movements on the Kinect.

  Alix got a Diet Coke out of the fridge and went to the backyard and the pool. She thought about swimming but didn’t really like the idea of getting into her bathing suit while all the security people were there. She went back inside and watched Jonah hack through enemies, envious of his ability to just do whatever he wanted without letting anyone else’s watching eyes bother him.

  All she wanted was privacy, but when she went up to her bedroom, she just found more people, wiring up windows, attaching strips of security tape to everything. She wandered back downstairs, feeling like a stranger in her own house, feeling observed and self-conscious everywhere she went.

  Dad came out of his office and looked surprised to see her.

  “What are you doing home?” he asked.

  “Hello? I’m done with school.”

  “Oh?” He checked his watch. “Of course.” He shook his head. “I lost track of time completely.” Alix thought he looked exhausted, worn by work and stress.

  “Dad?”

  “Yes, Alix?”

  “Can we talk?”

  He started to check his watch again but caught himself. He smiled tiredly at Alix. “Of course. Do you want to go into the study?”

  Alix eyed the ongoing work. “Could we go out somewhere instead?”

  “You want to take your old man on a date?” he joked.

  Alix couldn’t help but feel a little better. “I’ll buy you as many espressos as you can drink, if you’ll bust me out of here.”

  Dad laughed at that, and for a second it felt like everything was normal again. “You’re on.”

  Of course, Lisa and one of the security team named Mendoza tagged along, but they followed in a chase car, and they took a table far enough away to give the illusion that they weren’t with Alix and her dad. They still had a good view of the parking lot and the doors, but at least it gave the effect of leaving Alix and her dad in a bubble of privacy. It wasn’t perfect, but somehow having her father with her made her feel better, and, in a way, it was nice to spend time with him without any other intrusions. He’d even turned off his cell phone.

  “They can call Lisa if they need us,” Dad said simply as he shut it down.

  Alix was surprised once again at how different it was to have her father’s whole attention. Before she’d finished kindergarten, Alix had already become skilled at discerning when her father’s mind had shifted away from the moment at hand—even if his eyes were still fixed on her, and even if he was still making the appropriate yeses and nos and affirming noises of someone who was listening to what she was saying.

  Mom had a story about how one day, when Alix had been about six years old, she’d been talking to Dad, and, of course, Dad hadn’t been paying attention. So Alix had climbed up on his lap, grabbed his chin, and yanked his face. She’d stared into his eyes, an inch away, and said, “Your head isn’t listening to me!” Which Dad found hilarious. It had become a catchphrase for the family.

  Today, it was different. Dad’s head was listening to her, and it was nice. It almost made ending up with a security detail worth it.

  Alix chose a skinny latte, and Dad picked a double espresso. They went outside and sat on the flagstone patio under the trees. It was a relie
f to be outside, away from routines and the frenetic activity in the house.

  “All right, Alix. What’s on your mind?”

  Alix sipped her coffee. She felt hesitant even asking. “Oh, I don’t know.” She hesitated again and mentally kicked herself for it. “Why did 2.0 tell me to ask you about what this was all about?”

  Dad frowned. “Ah.” He sipped his espresso, then set the tiny cup down in its saucer. For a moment he paused, staring down at the cup with a furrowed brow, as if he would find enlightenment in its coffee blackness.

  “I wish I had a good answer for you,” he started slowly. “I keep wanting this to make some kind of sense, myself.” He looked up, serious. “I wish I could say that we understand who 2.0 is, or what really motivates him, but it’s all guesses.”

  “So…” Alix hesitated, then made herself press the issue. “What’s your guess?”

  “My guess?” Dad blew out his breath. “Okay, candidly, and without a whole lot to go on, my guess is that 2.0 is an activist of some kind. I’m sure you know that some of the work I do relates to politics, and the ugly truth is that any time you get involved in politics, you’re going to generate strong responses.” He grimaced. “We’re a radicalized culture these days. It really doesn’t matter whether it’s the right or the left; you’re going to end up with someone who’s sure that you’re doing the worst thing in the world. A talk radio host or some blogger decides they hate something that someone you work with does, and that’s it. They whip up the witch hunts. Mob logic.” He shook his head, gazing at Lisa Price and Mendoza. “I’ve seen it happen to some of my clients. You see it with movie stars, too. PETA targets someone. Or Save the Whales. Or the Tea Party. It doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that politics has gotten so ugly that it’s hard to have a reasoned conversation about anything anymore. There’s no room to disagree in a civil way. Someone always has to be cast as the Antichrist.”

  “But what’s that got to do with us?”

  Dad laughed. It was a surprisingly bitter sound. “To be honest, I didn’t think this had anything to do with us. I really didn’t.” He reached out for Alix, his eyes pleading as he gripped her shoulder. “I am so sorry I didn’t see this coming. I should have seen it. I just…” He shrugged helplessly. “I missed it. I’ve never considered myself to be a public figure, so it never occurred to me that we might be subjected to this kind of… abuse. Some of our clients, sure. But not us.” He took another sip of his espresso and then stared down into the cup, puzzled. It was already empty.

  “Do you want another?” he asked.

  Alix didn’t, but she said she did just to make him feel like he wasn’t the only one. Mom told him to control his caffeine because he was intense enough and it would ruin his sleep, but he couldn’t help the urge for just one more cup.

  Alix watched him go to the counter, and he seemed like someone carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Once again, she thought she should tell him about 2.0 and her conversation with him. But then, she rationalized, they were already fixing the house security. And he hadn’t done anything to her, after all.

  Why are you protecting him?

  2.0 had said their truce was over. That she was collateral damage. So why couldn’t she just rat him out and be done with it?

  Dad came back with the new skinny latte and more espresso for himself. “I got decaf,” he said gloomily.

  Alix couldn’t help smiling. “Mom will be glad.”

  “I’m sorry about all this, Alix.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Alix sipped her new latte, setting it next to her other, still nearly full one. “So why did 2.0 want me to ask you about all of this? Why did he think you’d know?”

  Dad sighed. “We’ve got people going over all our files and client lists, trying to identify a reason. It might be something as simple as the fact that we have a client 2.0 hates. Or it could be that we show up on a donor list, or we were photographed at a fund-raiser. We don’t know if they want to kidnap, or ransom, or terrorize.”

  “You said they were vandals before.”

  “Did I?” He nodded vaguely. “Oh. In the beginning.” He rubbed his eyes and sipped his espresso. “Of course. No, this is different. These people have a history of attacking laboratories. Research facilities. We originally thought they might be associated with PETA.”

  “Because of the rats.”

  Her father smiled sardonically. “Yes. They stole a large number of rats from a company that uses rats as subjects for chemical-safety testing.”

  Alix made a face.

  “Yeah,” Dad said. “I know. It’s not a pretty thing sometimes to see how much our prosperity depends on things like making sure products are safe. I’d rather test on rats than people, though. Science might not be pretty, but it keeps us safe.” He shrugged. “Other people see it differently.”

  “So…” Alix puzzled. “They’re like animal rights activists?”

  “When they were just attacking testing labs, the FBI thought so.”

  “But you don’t now?”

  Her father looked troubled. “We have no idea. None of it makes any sense.” He leaned forward. “I know this is difficult for you, but please be patient. We’re hoping they’ll make a mistake or the case will break open somehow, and we’ll figure out what they’re about or who they are… and then we’ll all be able to go back to our regular lives, and we can just forget all this.”

  Alix’s heart broke. Dad looked so sad and lost and troubled that she realized she couldn’t keep anything from him.

  You have to tell him.

  “Dad…” Alix lost her nerve and trailed off.

  Dad looked up at her. She hesitated. Now or never. Pull yourself together, Alix. “I saw him again.”

  Dad’s expression went from puzzlement to slow comprehension. “2.0?” he asked.

  “Yeah.” Alix blew out her breath, feeling relieved to finally be coming clean.

  “At school?”

  She shook her head. “At home. A couple nights ago. When I said I saw a shadow, maybe, in the backyard. I… It was more than that. I was downstairs… getting a drink of water. I saw him through the glass. He was looking in.…” She was about to continue, to tell him the rest, but Dad’s expression was changing even as she talked, turning from caring attentiveness to shock and disappointment and severity. Now that the words were coming out of her mouth, they sounded horrible to her, too. She broke off, unable to keep going in the face of Dad’s anger.

  Dad’s voice was tightly controlled. “Why didn’t you say something when it happened?”

  “I didn’t… I don’t know.”

  She felt herself wanting to cry and forced down the reaction. It was the little-kid-nailed-by-her-parents response. She never went against Mom and Dad. She’d almost never lied to them about anything. They’d always had a policy of letting her tell them everything so that she wouldn’t feel the need to lie.

  Once, when she’d been a sophomore, she and Denise and Sarah Landow and a bunch of guys had gotten wasted over at Sarah’s house while Mr. and Mrs. Landow were in New York for the ballet. They were completely hammered, but Denise was desperate to get home, so Sarah was going to drive her. And even though it was 1:00 AM, Alix called her dad to be picked up. She just told him that Denise needed to get home and that they were all too drunk to drive. It was the first time she’d ever been so drunk, and Dad drove over, picked up Alix and Denise, dropped Denise off, and took Alix home, and all he did was tell her she needed to drink Gatorade.

  In the morning, when she was sick and hung over, he just sat by her bed, amused, and suggested that maybe there was a lesson in this somewhere. He never did anything about it other than to talk with her about alcohol poisoning and addiction patterns. He thanked her for calling him, and for not getting in a car with a bunch of drunks, and that was it.

  A couple of months later, when she asked him why he hadn’t busted her harder, he just looked at her, puzzled. “How can we learn if we don�
��t make mistakes?” And then he said, “I just want to make sure you don’t make any mistakes that are permanent. Keep me in the loop, okay?”

  Coolest dad ever.

  Jonah pointed out that Dad was never like that with him. But Jonah didn’t seem put out about it. After all, Jonah knew he wasn’t trustworthy.

  But Alix was. And yet she’d let a stalker inside her house, and as soon as she said even the first part of the truth, she realized how serious it actually was. 2.0 had been looking in their windows, she’d talked to him, and it hadn’t shown up on a single security tape.

  Now, seeing her father’s disappointed expression, she realized that she couldn’t bear to tell him the rest. That she’d actually been stupid enough to open the door. To talk to her stalker. She couldn’t bear to see her father looking any more disappointed in her than he already did.

  “I’m sorry,” Alix whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

  The look on Dad’s face was so shocked and horrified that it made her feel sick. She braced herself for the angry dressing down she knew she deserved.

  Instead, Dad reached out to her and pulled her into a hug. “Hey. It’s okay. Just tell me what happened. Don’t worry, honey.…”

  He kept comforting her, and Alix started to cry, ashamed that he was still so forgiving, even when she didn’t deserve to be forgiven.

  11

  “YOU IDIOT!” KOOK SHOUTED AT Moses. “You were at her house?”

  “I was scouting,” Moses replied as he dug in the fridge. “Nobody even caught a whiff of me.”

  “You don’t know that,” she said. “I can’t hack every damn camera all the time. There’s bound to be new spycams.… Gahh!” She grabbed her blue hair and stalked back and forth in the kitchen. Adam wandered in, huge headphones on his ears, head moving to the beat of his own internal sense of groove. He opened the fridge, oblivious to Kook’s shouting at Moses a few feet away.

  She grabbed his shoulder and yanked his headphones off.

  “Ow!” He jerked away. “What the hell, Kook?”

  Kook pointed at Moses. “You know he was over at her house?”