To serve, pour the bottle of shrub, the bottle of water and one 750-milliliter bottle of Jameson 12 or Redbreast Irish whiskey into a gallon Punch bowl, add a 1½ quart block of ice and grate nutmeg over the top.
YIELD: 9½ cups.
QUICK & DIRTY PUNCH
Not everything has to be so complicated. Case in point. When I was appearing a few years back at the annual Southern Foodways Alliance conference at Oxford, Mississippi, the indispensable and indefatigable John T. Edge, the alliance’s director, came up to me with a small mixological problem. The alliance had been donated a large amount of premixed sweet tea and a not-inconsiderable amount of bourbon. Did I know a tasty, traditional way of mixing them? Of course, the question was just John being polite; he knew full well what to do with both. But I was flattered to be consulted (as he suspected I would be) and came up with a Punch that breaks every single one of my core mixological principles save one, which is perhaps the most important one of them all: drink the best thing you can, given what’s available. If you can get lemons and real tea, of course you’re going to use those. But if it’s a choice between commercial lemonade and iced tea and a campground full of folks stuck with Beam and Coke, why not cheat a little? Flexibility in the pursuit of intoxication is no vice.
THE ORIGINAL FORMULA
Combine in a bucket full of ice: 1½ quarts Newman’s Own Lightly Sweetened Lemonade, 1½ quarts Newman’s Own Iced Tea, 1.5 liters seltzer, 1.75 liters booze (something dark and flavorful; my favorite: 1 liter Jim Beam Black mixed with a 750-milliliter bottle of Wray & Nephew White Overproof rum). For that homemade look, add sliced lemons and grate nutmeg over the top. Ladle away.
YIELD: 26 cups.
NOTES
Other brands of lemonade and iced tea may be used, but try for the minimum number of ingredients in each. You can sour this Punch with fresh-squeezed lemon juice instead of lemonade (use about 14 ounces and add extra water), but that’s really not what it’s all about. Field conditions, people. If you use fruit-flavored tea, it will be all you can taste. The booze is up to you. Tequila? Sí. Bourbon or rye? Yep. Rum? You bet. Gin, vodka or ouzo? Not so much.
PERORATION
TO A FLY, TAKEN OUT OF A BOWL OF PUNCH.
PETER PINDAR, 1792
Ah! poor intoxicated little knave,
Now, senseless, floating on the fragrant wave—
Why not content the cakes alone to munch?
Dearly thou pay’st for buzzing round the bowl—
Lost to the world, thou busy, sweet lipp’d soul:
Thus death, as well as pleasure, dwells with Punch.
Now let me take thee out, and moralize.
Thus ’tis with Mortals as it is with Flies—
Forever hank’ring after Pleasure’s cup:
Though Fate, with all his legions, be at hand,
The beasts the draught of Circe can’t withstand,
But in goes ev’ry nose, they must, will sup.
Mad are the Passions as a colt untam’d!
When Prudence mounts their backs, to ride them mild
They fling, they snort, they foam, they rise inflam’d,
Insisting on their own soul will so wild!
Gadsbud! my buzzing friend, thou art not dead—
The Fates, so kind, have not yet snapp’d thy thread;
But now thou mov’st a leg, and now its brother,
And, kicking, lo! thou mov’st another.
And now thy little drunken eyes unclose,
And now thou feelest for thy little nose;
And, finding it, thou rubbest thy two hands,
Much as to say, “I’m glad I’m here again!”
And well thou may’st rejoice—’tis very plain
That near wert thou to Death’s unsocial lands.
And now thou rollest on thy back about,
Happy to find thyself alive, no doubt;
Now turnest, on the table making rings;
Now crawling, forming a new track;
Now shaking the rich liquor from thy back;
Now flutt’ring nectar from thy silken wings!
Now standing on thy head, thy strength to find,
And poking out thy small, long legs behind;
And now thy pinions dost thou quickly ply,
Preparing soon to leave me—, Farewell, Fly!
Go, join thy brothers on yon sunny board,
And rapture to thy family afford;
There wilt thou find a mistress, or a wife,
That saw thee, drunk, drop senseless in the stream—
Who gave, perhaps, the wide-resounding scream,
And now sits groaning for thy precious life;
Yes, go, and carry comfort to thy friends,
And wisely tell them thy imprudence ends.
Let buns and sugar, for the future, charm;
These will delight, and feed, and work no harm;
While Punch, the grinning, merry imp of sin,
Invites th’ unwary wand’rer to a kiss—
Smiles in his face, as tho he meant him bliss—
Then, like an aligator, drags him in!
BRITISH MUSEUM
A BRIEF NOTE ON FURTHER READING
As much as I would have liked to cap this book off with a full list of the hundreds of books, newspapers, magazines, pamphlets and other writings I consulted in writing it, to do so would have meant cutting a chapter of Punches. Given a choice between books and drinks, while I’d like to think that I would take the high road, alas I’ll take the drink every time. Here, then, is the quick version:Books, Google. The Internet, 2006-2010.
Okay, I exaggerate. But it’s a plain fact that without Google Books (and, to a much lesser extent, the old Microsoft Live Search Books scans archived at Internet Archive), I might have written a Punch book, but not this one. The bones of the story would have been there, but in many spots the flesh would have been pretty damn meager. The ability to search through full-text versions of millions of eighteenth- and nineteenth-century books has meant that instead of one or two pieces of information to choose from, I often had ten or twenty, enough to distinguish the normative from the anomalous.
As many as possible of the primary sources I’ve drawn on are at least referred to by name and date. Here, though, are some suggestions for those who wish to read more deeply on some of the topics raised. For the early history of distillation, C. Anne Wilson’s Water of Life (2006) is, although somewhat too speculative in spots, nonetheless quite enlightening. R. J. Forbes’s 1948 Short History of the Art of Distillation remains the most definitive work on the subject. Anistatia Miller and Jared Brown’s Spirituous Journey (two volumes, 2009 and 2010) has much of interest and has the advantage of accessibility. For other English drinkways, see A. D. Francis’s excellent The Wine Trade (1972) and Peter Haydon’s beer-centric An Inebriated History of Britain (2005).
For India and the East, any of the relevant journals, travel accounts and the like republished by the Hakluyt Society are well worth picking up, as indeed is any Hakluyt Society book no matter what part of the world it’s dealing with. A good general history of the English East India Company is John Keay’s 1991 The Honourable Company; would that there were a similar one of the mighty VOC, the Dutch East India Company. The fabulous Nathaniel’s Nutmeg , by Giles Milton (1999), provides a riveting account of the contentious interaction between the two companies in the East. For Indian tippling, there is no better source than Satya Prakash Sangar’s thorough Food and Drink in Mughal India (1999).
As for sailors, A. J. Pack’s Nelson’s Blood is the standard—and highly readable—account of rum-drinking in the Royal Navy (third edition, 1995). No better insight into eighteenth-century naval life may be gained than from Tobias Smollett’s 1748 Roderick Random.
Roderick Random is also useful as a guide to London life at the time, as indeed are any of the novels of Smollett’s contemporaries. In fact, to truly understand Punch and its milieu, I can recommend no better course of reading than Fieldi
ng’s Tom Jones, Boswell’s Life of Johnson (not a novel, but it reads like one), Richardson’s Clarissa, I suppose (I wish I liked that one more, insightful as it may be), and Tristram Shandy, if only because everyone should read that one.
For the Regency years and the early Victorian ones, nothing captures the social whirl better than the chatty reminiscences of Lord William Pitt Lennox, who knew everyone when he was young and talked about them all in amusing detail when he wasn’t. Also most useful is John Timbs’s Clubs and Club Life in London (several editions between 1872 and 1908; Google Books offers full access to at least two). These may and should of course be supplemented with a whole mess of Thackeray and Dickens.
Finally, the colonies. When they were indeed colonies, Dr. Alexander Hamilton wandered through them all, or at least most of them, and supped Punch where he went. The record of his 1744 trip has been published as his Itinerarium. When they were no longer colonies—well, much of the sporting life that sprang up then has been covered in Imbibe! But no better picture of it can be found than that in the novels of Frank Forester. The Warwick Woods is particularly recommended.
SOURCES FOR RARE INGREDIENTS AND TOOLS
Fortunately, Punch-making uses far fewer exotic ingredients and obscure tools than making Cocktails. For the liquors, the best place to go is DrinkUpNY.com, which carries Batavia arrack and other such goodies. Spices and exotic sugars can be obtained from New York’s magnificent Kalustyan’s (www.kalustyans.com). For ambergris, however, you’ll have to send your treasure to New Zealand (www.ambergris.co.nz). The season for Seville oranges is short (December to February); when they’re in season, try Melissas.com. I understand that they will freeze well, although I can never hang on to them long enough to try it.
On to the gear. Ladles are a problem; flea markets are your best bet there. I also have yet to find a truly elegant modern nutmeg grater, but perfectly adequate Le Creuset earthenware bowls and jugs may be obtained from Amazon.com (look for the stoneware 4⅝-quart mixing bowl and the three-quart Sangria pitcher). Ra Chand juicers can also be sourced through Amazon but are widely available elsewhere, for cheaper. Libbey 8089 two-ounce Georgia sherry glasses, my favorite style of Punch glass, can be found through Amazon.com.
APPENDIX
ORIGINAL TEXTS OF TRANSLATED RECIPES
For the completists.
PUNSCHGLÜHBOWLE
From Bowlen und Punsche fur den Feld- und Manover-gebrauch der Deutschen Armee, 1900
Man koche in einem geraümigen kochgeschirr zehn Liter leichten roten Landwein unter fortwährendem Umrühen mit fünf Liter Arrack, füge während des kochens ein Pfund Zucker bei und zerschneide vier Pomeranzen bezw. Apfelsinen, sowie zwei bis drei Citronen. Nachndem man besonders darauf geachtet hat, dass die Fruchtschieben von kernen befreit sind, lasse man die Fruchtscheiben mit der Mischung noch etwa fuenf minuten kochen, giesse alsdann die kochende Mischung in eine Bowle um und lasse dieselbe brennend servieren. Einer Berdünnung durch einen Mehrzusatz von leichtem roten landwein steht nichts im Wege.
PUNCH À LA ROMAINE (THE EASY WAY)
From P. C. Robert, La grande cuisine simplifiée, 1845
Clarifiez une livre et demie de sucre, mettez-y le zeste de 2 citrons et de 2 bigarades, exprimez le jus de 8 citrons; ajoutez à ce mélange un demi-litre d’eau, passez le tout dans un tamis neuf et faites prendre cette décoction à la glace; fouettez ensuite 3 blancs d’œufs en neige, que vous n’incorporez dans votre punch qu’au moment de le servir, en y ajoutant un verre de vin de Champagne et u, demi-verre de rhum; l’amalgame étant bien fait, vous servez ce punch dans des verres à pied.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First of all, I must acknowledge that sundry parts of this book have appeared, in altered form, in Esquire, Saveur, The Malt Advocate , Bon Appétit, Wine & Spirits, Slow Food USA’s Snail, Mixology and the late, lamented Gourmet. I am very grateful to them all.
With every book I write I seem to need more help. The list of people who assisted me materially or spiritually in the preparation of this volume is absurdly long—far longer than a Punch-drinking man can accurately remember. If I have omitted your name here, you have my sincerest apologies, as does everyone to whom I still owe an email.
The number of people who have offered moral support and practical advice, shared hard-won morsels of information, offered venues for me to muse about Punch or supplied the necessary C2H5OH is truly humbling. Here are some of them: Dayan Abeyaratne (arrack! cashew fenny!), Eric Alperin, Stephan Berg, Cary Berger, Jeff Berry, Jacques “Van Der Hum” Bezuidenhout, the ever-helpful Greg Boehm, Jared Brown, Tad “Joisey” Carducci, Fernando Castellon (our man in Lyons), Erick “Pac Man” Castro, Wayne Collins, Tony Conigliaro, Jason Crawley (and what a mistake it is to put those three together!), the ever-lovely Jill DeGroff, the indefatigable Philip “Mr. Genever” Duff, John T. Edge, H. Joseph “Thermometer” Ehrmann, Eric Ellestad, John Gertsen (thanks for the glassware, dude!), Ted Haigh, Robert Hess, the mysterious Allen Katz, Don Lee, Leonard Lopate (who is not averse to drinking a little Punch on the radio), Diego Loret de Mola, Lance Mayhew, Anistatia Miller, Rosalind Muggeridge of the Mount Vernon Hotel Museum (I want that bar!), Sean Muldoon and his shebeen full of sharks, Tal “Kopstoot” Nadari and all my good friends at Lucas Bols, Josey Packard, Linda Pellaccio of the Culinary Historians of New York, Jeff “Hennessexy” Pogash, Lis Riba (thanks for the Fish-House Punch recipe!), Debbie “the Rizz” Rizzo, Eric Seed, Tad “Old Tom” Seestedt, Daniel Shoemaker, Nick Strangeway, Lesley Townsend, Ann Tuennerman, Charles Vexenat, Charlotte Voissey, and the evil elf who keeps trying to get me to drink Fernet-Branca.
To the staffs of the New York Public Library, the British Library, the British Museum and New York University’s Elmer Holmes Bobst Library, thank you. Without you, history doesn’t get written. I should probably throw the staff of BookFinder.com in there, too.
Some poor souls have had to work with me while I was preoccupied with this project. To my partners in BAR, Dale “Marie” DeGroff, Doug “They’re Going Down” Frost, Steve “Buzz” Olson, Paul “the Sexiest Man in Showbiz” Pacult, and Andy “Did He Just Say That?” Seymour, thank you, brave men. And to Aisha Sharpe, Willy Shine, and Leo “Lemonator” DeGroff, thank you, you rock! I say the same to my sometime partner-in-crime, Simon Ford. And also to Steve Walkerwicz, Suzanne Freedman, Shawn Kelley, Lora Piazza and Leslie Pariseau of BarSmarts. And my poor editors—Ross McCammon, Lew Bryson, James Rodewald, Beth Kracklauer, Noah Rothbaum, Tara Q. Thomas, Zoe Singer and Heather John. I swear I’ll have it in in the morning. Okay, early afternoon. Would you believe end of the day? How many words again?
Many thanks are also due to the Associate Members of the North Gowanus Institute for Cranial Distempers. In ascending/ descending alphabetical order, they are: Hannah Clark, Patrick Watson, Melissa Clark, Mike Sweeney, Doug Dibbern, Cynthia Sweeney, Cheryl Donegan, Katherine Schulten, Mike Dulchin, Audrey Saunders, Sherwin Dunner, Bryony Romer, Linden Elstran, Julie Reiner, Susan Fedoroff, Michelle Pravda, St. John Frizzell, Zack Pelaccio, Tony Gerber, Garrett Oliver, Daniel Gercke, Nick Noyes, Vince Giordano, Lynn Nottage, Kenneth “Cagey” Goldsmith, Jessica Monaco, Paul “My Face Is a Mirror” Gustings, Valerie Meehan, Alex Halberstadt, Peter Meehan, Joltin’ John Hodgman, Jim Meehan, Ana Jovancicevic, Laura McMillian, Shawn Kelley (Shawn’s so nice she gets thanked twice), Chris McMillian, Steve Kelley, Joshua Mack, and the Piss-Artist Formerly Known as Gary Regan.
Janis Donnaud, my agent, is simply great. Thank you.
Marian Lizzi, my editor, somehow manages to stay funny and nice despite sometimes I am quite sure wanting to throttle me. Also, she’s a hell of an editor. Thank you.
This project has caused my wife, Karen, and my daughter, Marina, to have to put up with more absence, preoccupation and stress-induced personality disorder than anyone should, especially people as sweet as they are. Here, where I need them the most, words fail me. Thank you.
Finally, I’d like to thank Kathie Lee for not wrecking my punch lad
le.
INDEX
Page numbers in italics represent illustrations.
Acton, Eliza
Adams, John
Addams, Robert
Addison, Joseph
Adventures of Jonathan Wild, The (Fielding)
Akbar the Great
Alcohol
in aqua vitae
class and
measurement of
proof and
Aldworth, Henry
Alexander the Great
Allchin, F. Raymond
Allen, Grant
Allingham, William
Ambergris
American Fancy Punches
Boston Club Punch
Chatham Artillery Punch-Original
Daniel Webster’s Punch
Frank Forester’s Punch
Light Guard Punch
Philadelphia Fish-House Punch
Quoit Club Punch
USS Richmond Punch
Yale College Punch
American whiskey
Apidius Redivivus (Kitchiner)
Aqua vitae (“water of life”)
alcohol in
aqua ardens as
early recipe for
Punch Page 25