Killing Me Softly

by Devyn Dawson

  ***

  Chapter Twelve. TDY

  HEY BEAUTIFUL! NICE NIGHT AT WORK? 7:05 pm

  HEY YOU! SO FAR IT HAS BEEN BLAH. ARE YOU PINING? I TOTALLY THINK YOU ARE. 7:09 pm

  YOU KNOW ME, I HAVE A HOT GIRLFRIEND WHO CAN SING HER FACE OFF! WHO WOULDN’T PINE AFTER YOU? A FOOL! 7:10 pm

  Ahhhh! He makes me smile every time he calls me his hot girlfriend.

  “Holland, there’s a delivery up here, they need you to sign,” Sam says through the intercom.

  Up at the cashier stand is a woman with a yellow bucket filled with candy bars. Every kind of chocolate bar a girl could ever want is in the yellow bucket. Many of the candy bars are on a stick like they’re in a flower pot. She smiles at me and asks if I’m Holland. I nod my head and she hands me a card.

  “Do you need me to sign something?” I ask.

  The delivery lady smiles and says no, she just had to hand it to me in person.

  “I’m snaggin’ one of your candy bars,” Sam says and reaches for my bucket.

  “Oh hell no! Keep your filthy paws off my candy,” I slap at his and he cowers away. “I need to find out who it’s from.”

  “Bull shit, you know as well as I do, it is from Mr. Wonderful.”

  “Maybe I have a secret admirer.” I tear open the pink envelope and inside is a big teddy bear with his arms held out. “I can’t wait to spoon with you again,” the inside of the card says. Tate signed it, “Totally in-like with you.” I feel my cheeks stretching as a dumb grin takes over my face.

  DO YOU LIKE IT? 7:18 pm

  OHHHHHH YES YES YES! THANK YOU SO MUCH! 7:19 pm

  My face is stuck in the stupid grin as I reread the note. Sam clears his throat and I turn around to see Tate walking into the store. I’ve never had the urge to run up and jump on a man by wrapping my legs around him, until this very moment. The moment I want nothing more than to have that Nicolas Sparks movie moment. The one where you’re running in the rain to wrap yourself around your man and fall to the floor frantically ripping each other’s clothes off. Instead, I go over and give him an amiable hug and quick peck on the cheek. We’re not allowed to show public affection while on the clock, at least not out in the storefront. As if there’s a vitamin store spy lurking around the corner, I follow the rules. That’s me, Miss Rule-follower.

  Tate’s hand is splayed flat on the small of my spine and he holds me in place. “Where’re you going,” he whispers in my ear.

  “I can’t grope you while I’m on the clock,” I whisper back.

  “Are you telling me that you’re going to grope me when you’re off the clock?” He whispers back to me. “If that’s the case, I’m sitting here until nine-thirty.”

  I’d love nothing more than to grope him, but I know I don’t have the self-control to stop us from taking it to the next level. I could always have Velcro sewn in all of my clothes. When the time comes, I can rip them off before either of us changes our minds.

  “Who me, grope?” I laugh and pull away. “Was that a real delivery person or an innocent mall person?”

  “Innocent mall person. She was very nice about bringing it to you. You sounded stressed earlier today, so I thought some chocolate would help.”

  “Are you sticking around? I have some paperwork to do and call in my numbers.”

  He tells me he’s going to the bookstore to look around and grab a cup of coffee, but he’ll help me close the store.

  ***

  I put my phone on speaker and we talk all the way back to Del City. He’s following me, which he says I’m a terrible driver. He refused to talk to me on the phone until I agreed to put it on speaker phone.

  Waffle Shack is starting to become our place. We never get a waffle, we usually go for a pastry.

  “I have something to talk to you about,” Tate says after he places his coffee order.

  “What’s going on?” I try to study his face to figure out if he’s being serious, or he’s playing around.

  “The attorney called, and they did the addendum, so if you agree to the terms, we’re good to go. Everything is in your email. I know you don’t check yours that often, so I wanted to tell you to read your email. Second part of that is… they want us to sing at a place in Norman this Saturday night if we sign. Their band’s singer had to have emergency surgery and won’t be out of the hospital or well enough to perform. That means we need to practice two more songs together. Our contract says they want us to sing at least three songs together.” He opens a sugar packet and stirs it into his coffee. “There’s more. The Air Force is sending me TDY to a training course in Texas. I’ll be gone five days.”

  “TDY, what’s that, and when will you leave?”

  “TDY is temporary duty assignment. It’s all next week, I’ll leave Monday morning and will be home the following Saturday morning. Unfortunately, that means I need to reschedule dinner with your dad. I’m sure that will really tick him off about me going away on a trip. It kind of justifies his military fears. The Air Force doesn’t give you much of a choice, and they sure don’t care if you have other plans. The FAA has a new requirement, and all air traffic controllers are going to these training sessions. I’ll still Skype with you, but I can’t do dinner.”

  “That’s not a problem, Tate. A part of my job requires me to go to training out of state too. Don’t worry. I will just tell my dad that you need to reschedule. We’re doing inventory next week anyway, and that’s a total bitch. Where are they sending you to?” If I tell my dad, it will open a can of worms that I’m not in the mood to deal with. “I guess we need to come up with some songs. Are we under a copyright rule if we do popular songs? I know they’re selling us as a cover band, so are we able to do current music?”

  “There’s a clause in the contract that discusses the copyright rule. I was hoping to do a couple of older songs anyway. There’s some eighties songs I like. Soft Cell has one that would work for both of us as a duo. We could do another Johnny Cash song too. How about going to the coffee shop tonight and go over some songs? We can sit on the outside patio to work it out. They close at midnight, can you pencil me in on your calendar? In answer to your question, they’re sending me to Texas. Most of the time we train here at FAA, but Texas Instruments has a new program they’re training us on.”

  I’d like to see you every day, every hour, every moment, but I’m not telling you that, not today at least. “Yeah, I need to stop and check in on my dad. It will still give us at least two hours to work.”

  “This not having my own place is starting to get tiresome. I’d sneak you in the dorms, but my roommate is a monster and I’d rather you not meet him. I’d rather no one in modern day society to meet him. How he’s still in the military is beyond me. I think some of the guys in our dorms have a bet on when he’ll get kicked out. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some cool guys on my floor, but I hate being there more than necessary. Don asked if I wanted to move in with them, I’d pay rent for the room. I may take them up on the offer if I can’t find an apartment.” Tate’s wearing a new cologne, and it smells like heavenly-sexy-man.

  “You can get an apartment and live in the dorms?”

  “Most guys who do that will split the rent and will have to make an appearance at the dorms every now and then. I can afford to get a place without them, I just want to live off the income I deserve. The military gives you BAQ which helps pay for housing. If you’re unmarried and lower ranked, you live in the dorms so you don’t get a housing allowance. I’m letting my other money can sit in the bank and make money, I want to make it on my own. Sure, I’ve used it to buy a couple of luxury items, but I try to refrain as much as possible. Looks like Sam has an aggravated customer. I’ll see you later.” He kisses my forehead and walks away. His jeans are nice.

  The customer is raising his voice and giving Sam hell. “Hi sir, can I help you with something?” I ask the short bald man in front of me.

  “I have a coupon for two dollars off and this nitwit won’t let me use it.”
He shoves his coupon my direction.

  I look at the piece of paper and up at Sam, he shrugs his shoulders.

  “Sir, this is for a different vitamin store. They went out of business last year.” His coupon is two years old, but I’ve seen him a couple of times with his daughter. I think she said he has early dementia. “Since you’re a regular, I’m going to honor the coupon. Sam, please reenter his purchase and give him the two dollars discount,” I say and smile to the man. I can’t help thinking of my dad when he’s irrational and I’m sure a store clerk pissed him off.

  Tate with his own apartment and me hanging out with him. That will test my reclaimed virginity decision. I haven’t told Tate how young I was when I gave myself to a boy. I wasn’t particularly interested in having sex when I did, but Bobby was leaving for college and he didn’t want to be the only virgin in college. Since I had already had sex, I didn’t think it was a big deal to have sex again. I didn’t go out looking for sex, I had to go on at least three dates with them before I put out. Andy was the same way and we held true to our word, no date, no sex. If I have to look back on my life and figure it all out, I’d guess I was looking for acceptance. Maybe I needed the intimacy with a man to make up for the father figure I had at home. My life is different now, and I feel like it is better for me to focus on the relationship before messing it up with sex.

  “Are you having a stroke?” Sam says so loud I jump.

  “What the H! What’s wrong with you?” He scared the crap out of me.

  “I’ve been saying your name over and over and you were spacing out. Maybe you shouldn’t take drugs and go to work.” Sam is being his obnoxious self as he talks in my face.

  I step back away from him. “I was thinking.”

  “Of Mr. Wonderful? He’s got game, that’s for sure. He must be gay and playing the military straight card. Straight men don’t make candy bar flower pots.”

  Instead of saying anything, I stomp on his foot and then say, “He’s NOT GAY!”

  “Worker’s comp! You broke my toe you….”

  “Don’t finish that thought!” I grab my pot of candy and walk back to my office, he can straighten up the store by himself tonight.

  ***

  “Hey dad, you’re up early this morning,” I say and pour him a cup of coffee. His night meds are making him groggy in the mornings.

  “Yeah, I need to work on the plants today. It was late when you came in last night, where you with that girl Bethany?”

  Was I with that girl Bethany? Yeah, this is going to be a long morning. “No, I was with Tate, we were working on two songs we’ll be doing at a gig we have this Saturday night.” Wait for it.

  “Oh that’s nice. What songs did you come up with?” Dad takes a long sip of his coffee.

  An alien seriously stole my dad. No drug can be this good. “Well, we’re going to do a Nancy Sinatra song “These Boots Are Meant for Walkin’” and Joss Stone with Rob Thomas’ version of “Stop Draggin My Heart Around.” We slowed it down with the guitar and put a cool vibe to the songs.”

  “You sure went for some older songs. I’d like to hear your version though.”

  This miracle drug should be given to everyone everywhere! “We’re performing this Saturday, Bethany is going to video us doing our duets so I can see how we do together. You’re welcome to come to the club.” Time for Captain Crazy to appear.

  “No, I’m not ready to go to a night club. All the flashing lights and loud music, it wouldn’t be a good scene for me. I’m glad you have a gig so fast. Did you hear back from the attorney?”

  “Everything is good with the contract. I’m excited, but most of all, I’m excited that you’re sitting here with me and you’re not freaking out. We’ll be sure to let your therapist know.”

  Dad picks up the newspaper and puts on his reading glasses. I’ve entered an episode of “Leave It to Beaver.”

  “You know I’m still bi-polar, even on the drugs. They help me see the world with clearer eyes. I’m not over the fact that your boyfriend is in the Air Force, I’m just able to understand you’re an adult. That little Italian place in the strip mall would be a nice place for dinner. They’re not too expensive and it is usually quiet.”

  “Dad, we’ll have to come up with a time and when our schedules will work out. He’s in training and I have inventory coming up next week. It will be a couple of weeks before I’ll have a date and time. I’m happy the medicine is helping you, I wish they had put you on it long before now. We still have to talk about my mom. Bethany and I are going to the Y to run, do you want to go? You’re getting soft in the middle old man,” I tease.

  “Soft? I can still do more sit-ups than you. Would you like to see?” He teases back. “No kiddo, the plants need me.”

  On the way back to my room I notice he has a western book sitting on the end table. It’s good to see he’s reading, that’s a tell that he’s feeling good.

  My phone buzzes on my nightstand.

  GOOD MORNING! JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I THINK YOU’RE AMAZING. YOU’RE A GOOD PERSON AND I’M HAPPY YOU’RE MINE. 7:45 am

  This is going to be a good day.

  ***

  Chapter Thirteen. Breathless

  Norman, Oklahoma is the home to the University of Oklahoma and one of the best football teams in America. It has the biggest collection of underage clubs for eighteen and over in Oklahoma. They’re the coolest places to hang out. We’re meeting at Don’s house to ride together to Norman. I got here before anyone else, so I suck it up and go to the door. Tracey is wearing a hot pink hi-lo dress with a pair of neon green wedges. I’m not sure how to act around her since the night I stayed over.

  Bethany and the guy she was making out with at the bookstore the night I met Tate, are meeting us at the club. Sam and his new stripper girlfriend are meeting us too. One of Tate’s air traffic control friends and some other guy are riding with Tate to Don’s house. “Margarita?” Tracey asks and hands me one before I answer. “I’d need half a dozen margaritas before I got up and sang in front of anyone. Tate told us how you guys sang that one night and you were offered a deal. That’s never heard of, you were in the right place at the right time, for sure.”

  I don’t have the heart to tell her I can’t handle tequila, not after the night Andy and I puked our guts up in John Seymour’s front yard. We lost a game of seven and took so many shots I’m sure we damaged our livers for life. It was a stupid game that you go around in a circle and every time you get to a derivative of seven or a number with seven in it, you have to switch directions. Sounds easy enough, unless you’ve already been drinking. Every time you mess up, you have to take a shot. We weren’t math scholars that night and vowed never to play a number game for shots again. I sip on the margarita trying to convince my stomach that I won’t over drink.

  Hands on my waist turn me around to face Tate. His eyes are bright against his tan face. He told me he was going to the pool today, I didn’t realize he’d show up looking like a different guy. He’s wearing a button down short sleeved black and white graphic design shirt over a white t-shirt with a pair of jeans.

  “Hey beautiful,” Tate’s familiar voice says. “You look like a rocker girl, I haven’t seen this side of you before,” he whispers. I’d decided to wear a pair of white jeggings and a neon yellow tank with a fringed vest that I found in Andy’s clothes. Bethany loaned me her collection of bangles to wear and a wraparound leather bracelet.

  “I like what you’re wearing too. Are you nervous? Because I’m terrified.” I set my margarita down and wrap my arms around him for a quick hug.

  “I get nervous energy, but not nervous. You’re going to be great. It saddens me you don’t realize how good you are, because you can sing your face off.”

  His friend clears his throat as he walks over to us. “You must be the amazing, Holland. I’m Cooper, my friends call me Coop.”

  Coop is taller than most guys. He stands awkwardly as he holds his hand out for me to shake. “Hi Coop
, I’m Holland, nice to meet you.”

  “I was planning on introducing you, but you beat me to it,” Tate scolds. “Jackson is the other guy with us, but he’s outside smoking a cigarette before we leave. Our ride just texted me that they’ll be here in five minutes.”

  “I thought we were riding with Don and Tracey,” I say.

  “We are riding with them, they’re just not driving.”

  “Okay, let me run to the restroom. That’s a long drive from here.” I grab my purse and pass Tracey on my way to the restroom. She’s applying lip-gloss in a compact mirror.

  Tate calls out to me and I reexamine my butt in the mirror. The front door opens and I hear Don gushing over something. A black Hummer limo is parked in the driveway. “You hired a limo?” I exclaim.

  “No, it’s a perk. When we do local gigs, we travel in the limo. Did you see the back window? It has an advertisement for the entertainment company. When I heard they were sending one, I expected a dilapidated junker. You know, like the clubs who offer limo service?”

  Coop looks funny as he climbs into the Hummer. Jackson is short and stocky. He’s wearing cowboy boots and a western looking shirt. The inside is gaudy with the laser lights and stripper pole that Tracey and Don are eyeballing. Sam is going to be pissed he didn’t ride with us, he’s always trying to be flashy when he goes out. Tate and I go to the back of the limo and he reaches into the ice-chest and pulls out a bottle of champagne and two glasses. Everyone else grabs a glass and we pass the champagne around until everyone has just enough to sip as we toast for a good night.

  The club is on the same street with a bunch of other clubs. During the school year, the clubs are packed with college students. Classes are out for the summer but the night life stays alive with locals and the military. People are already standing in line for the club to open. The limo parks in front of the club and the driver comes around to open the door for us. One of the security guards comes over and checks his list to find out if we’re really the talent for the night. A couple of girls whistle when Tate climbs out of the Hummer. To be a bitch and to rightfully claim my man, I loop my arm through his.