Volume 2 - The Sighs of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  “Well, I also don’t know, do you?”

  He’s seriously asking for a beating.

  “I’m sorry,” Koizumi said and then continued,

  “Suzumiya-san is a creator as well as a destroyer. The reality right now may be a failed product of creation, and perhaps Suzumiya-san was given the mission to amend this flawed world.”

  Go on!

  “If that’s the case, then we’re the ones at fault. Suzumiya-san would be the normal one, while we would become enemies of this world by getting in her way. That’s not all. Besides Suzumiya-san, the whole human race would be at fault.”

  Yep, now that’d be a major problem.

  “The problem lies with us who are at fault. When the world is fully amended, will we still be a part of that world? Or will we be considered as defects and get eliminated? This is something that no one can predict.”

  If you can’t predict, then quit bullshitting as if you know everything.

  “Yet from a certain perspective, so far, she has been unable to create a perfect world, and that is a fact. This is because her consciousness is leaning towards that of creation. Suzumiya-san is a very positive person, but what would happen if she suddenly became negative?”

  This doesn’t seem like the time to remain silent, so I gave up, “What’s going to happen?”

  “I don’t know. But no matter what, destroying is always easier than creating. ‘If I don’t believe in this, then let it disappear!’ If Suzumiya-san held such an attitude, then all would be reduced to naught, and everything would be eliminated. For example, if a formidable enemy were to appear before us, as long as Suzumiya-san denies their existence, then that is enough to destroy them. Be it magic or highly advanced technology, she would be able do away with them very easily.”

  But Haruhi hasn’t denied everything. Is it because she still has hope in something? “That is what we are concerned about.”

  Koizumi continued without looking concerned at all,

  “I think there’s no way we could ever find out whether Suzumiya-san is God or a similar omnipotent being, but there’s one thing we can be sure of. If she continues to freely use her powers and it leads to the world being changed, it’s possible no one would even realize that the world had changed. The scary thing is, even Suzumiya-san doesn’t realize when the world has been altered.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because Suzumiya-san is a part of this world, proof that she isn’t the creator of this world. If she is a God who has created this world, she should be in a place outside of this world, yet here she is living with us in this world. We can only conclude that she can only alter the world to a certain extent, and this is unnatural and very strange.”

  “You look even stranger to me.”

  Ignoring my comment, Koizumi continued,

  “I still prefer this world that I’m living in now. There may be all sorts of conflicts between various societies, but it’s only a matter of time before humans get these problems sorted out. The problem lies with theories like geocentrism. We need to make sure that Suzumiya-san doesn’t begin to believe in these ideas. Weren’t you able to come out of that Sealed Dimension with these preferences as well?”

  How should I say this? I’ve forgotten about that, I decided to seal away the memories that I no longer wish to remember.

  A smile formed on Koizumi’s mouth; it looked like a self-deprecating smile.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve been talking too much about this unconstructive stuff as though I’m a defender of this world’s justice. Please do accept my apologies.”

  Chapter 5

  It was Monday morning… a week to go before the school festival starts, and yet the school was still surrounded by a relaxed atmosphere. Does this school even plan to hold a school festival at all? Shouldn’t it be a bit livelier? Since the atmosphere is just too laid back, even I’m feeling unmotivated. And there were things that would make me become even more unmotivated as I approached the classroom.

  Koizumi was waiting outside my classroom. You’ve already said so much yesterday. You still have more? “Class 1-9 has already begun rehearsals for their play. Of course, I was merely walking by.” Your girly face was the last thing I wanted to see this early in the morning.

  “What is it now? Don’t tell me, that stupid dimension has finally appeared?” “No, yesterday, it didn’t appear at all. It seems Suzumiya-san was so busy being depressed that she didn’t have the time to be frustrated.” Why?

  “You should know… Since you don’t seem to understand, then let me explain it to you. Suzumiya-san has always thought that no matter what happened, you would be her only companion. Even if you were to complain, you would still support her. No matter what she did, only you could accept her.”

  What are you talking about? The only ones who could accept her behavior were the Saints who have sacrificed in the name of the Lord. Let me state this for the record, I’m neither a saint, nor a great leader, I’m just an ordinary person armed with common sense.

  “What’s going on between you and Suzumiya-san?”

  What do you mean, what’s going on between us?

  “Could you please cheer her up? The pigeons are cute now, but if Suzumiya-san continues to be this depressed, the shrine pigeons might turn into something that wouldn’t resemble pigeons at all.”

  “Like what?”

  “If I knew, I wouldn’t be this troubled. It wouldn’t be a pretty sight if the shrine were crawling with slimy tentacled creatures all over the place, would it?”

  “Try spreading some salt.”

  “This doesn’t solve the root of the problem. Right now Suzumiya-san is in limbo; she has been actively trying to improve her situation through the making of her movie. But since she got into a quarrel with you yesterday, her energy is now being channeled in the other direction – from positive to negative. It would have been manageable if it had it ended right there, but if this were to continue, things might become complicated.”

  “So, you’re asking me to console her?”

  “It’s not that hard, is it? All you need to do is make up with her.” What do you mean make up with her? I’ve never gotten along well with her before.

  “Huh? I’ve always thought you were a calm and reasonable person. Could I have been mistaken?” I kept silent.

  The reason I was so mad at her yesterday was because I couldn’t stand the sight of her bullying Asahina-san… Sort of… Or maybe I was calcium deficient. So, last night, I drank a whole liter of milk and surprisingly, my temper had eased a lot by the time I woke up this morning. However, milk is just a form of sedative.

  Anyway, why should I swallow my pride and console her? No matter which way you look at it, it’s hard to dismiss that this girl has gone too far.

  Koizumi began to purr like a kitty cat starting to nibble on its food, and patted me on the shoulder, “I’m counting on you because, in terms of distance, you are the closest person.”

  As long as I didn’t turn around, I wouldn’t make any eye contact with Haruhi sitting behind me. Today, Haruhi seems to be paying rather special attention to the sky, as she spent most of the time looking out of the window, and this lasted until lunchtime.

  For some reason, even Taniguchi was full of shit today,

  “What kind of movie was that? I don’t even know why I wasted my time coming!” During lunch, Taniguchi cursed as he munched on his lunch. Haruhi is usually away from the classroom during this time, and today was no exception. He wouldn’t be saying such things if she were around. He’s the sort of coward that only speaks out loud when it’s safe.

  “This is all Suzumiya’s fault. This is going to be a crappy movie, I’m sure of it!” I really wouldn’t give a damn about anyone’s opinion. I don’t consider myself a great leader, and I don’t intend to leave my name in the annals of history. I’m just a small character standing in a corner and mumbling by myself. I excel at finding the most minor fault within my mom’s cooking, even though I can’t c
ook myself.

  But this was something where I had to make myself clear, so I spoke, “The last thing I want to hear is you complaining.”

  Taniguchi, what have you ever done? At least Haruhi took part in the school festival and tried her best to do something, though she would end up giving us a lot of trouble. But at least she’s way better than those idiots that do nothing but complain all day. You moron! You ought to apologize to all the Taniguchis in Japan, for all your namesakes out there, you’re nothing but a disgrace to them!

  “Forget it, Kyon.”

  Kunikida tried to mediate.

  “He’s just venting his frustration. Actually we’d like to hang out more with Suzumiya-san. We’re really envious of you, Kyon.”

  “Like hell we are,” Taniguchi said glaring at Kunikida, “I’m not joining that idiotic club.” “That’s odd coming from you, just who was it that agreed to come right away when asked to? Weren’t you feeling giddy yesterday? You even canceled your original plans for the day.” “Stop picking on me, dumbass!”

  So that’s why Taniguchi is so pissed. He specifically canceled all his plans for that day, just so he could enthusiastically come help as an extra, but he barely appeared in one shot and even ended up nearly drowning. I see, he does deserve some sympathy, but I didn’t feel like sympathizing with him now because I am just as pissed.

  I knew better than everyone else that Haruhi’s movie was too stupid to be watched by anyone, because she only knows how to charge forward without thinking of consequences. Since we only filmed whatever she came up with, there was no script to speak of. Only a genius could turn this movie into a success. And in my opinion, Haruhi doesn’t really have talent as a director, but if people start to criticize her because of that… Wait, why am I so angry with that?

  “Kyon, Suzumiya-san seems to be in a worse mood than usual, did something happen?” I listened to Kunikida’s question while thinking.

  I was the same as Taniguchi. All I ever did was follow whatever she said, and then curse at her behind her back. I sense a bit of myself when observing this guy. Sometimes cursing at Haruhi, sometimes feeling helpless… That was my job. But it was a job that can only be done by me, and no one else

  I was feeling so frustrated that even the food tasted bland. I feel sorry for my mom who made this lunch for me. Damn it, Taniguchi, you idiot. If you hadn’t said some useless stuff, I wouldn’t be doing things that I would later regret.

  Just what have I done?

  I closed the lid of my lunchbox and bolted out of the classroom.

  Haruhi was in the clubroom, connecting the video camera to the computer; she seemed to be working on something. She looked up in shock when I suddenly opened the door. Was that a curry bun she was holding in her left hand?

  She frantically threw the bun away, then put her hand behind her hair… I think. At this point her hair opened up. I don’t know why she did that, as if she was trying to quickly untie the hair that she had tied up behind her head. I didn’t notice it too carefully, since I could think about that later. I then said what I needed to be say to her,

  “Hey, Haruhi.”

  “What?”

  Haruhi went into defensive mode, looking like a kitten. I said to that face of hers, “We need to make this movie a success!”

  That’s what they call impulse, right? A person like me would probably go emotional about twice a year, because of this, I was angry yesterday. The timing was just perfect. And today, this impulse was caused by Koizumi’s ambiguous words and Taniguchi’s stupid face. Not to mention Haruhi looking melancholic made me very frustrated and uneasy. If I had let these feelings build up inside of me, I’d have probably ended up smashing the classroom window, so I had to do away with these feelings right now. Why must I justify whatever I do?

  “Hmph.”

  Haruhi then said boastfully,

  “Of course we will. After all, I’m the director. Success is already guaranteed. I don’t need you to state the obvious.”

  Such a simple person. Just when I had thought she was beginning to show some gentle feelings worthy of praise. Yet the enigmatic light within Haruhi’s eyes was once again reignited with flames of confidence. I have no idea where she gets her fuel. She’s just too simple. She’s like an RPG boss that keeps casting regenerative spells on herself, but I couldn’t care less. She needs to be more balanced. She should finish off the players in one blow and quickly bring out the “Game Over” screen… What am I talking about? Ah yes, those sort of pressure-reducing games just don’t exist. I’m not sure what this means, since it has no meaning to begin with, but anyway, I don’t like seeing Haruhi looking depressed, and I don’t want to see her like that again. She was made to run aimlessly in those marathons that are endless, pointless, and without destination. It’s just… If she were to suddenly stop in her tracks, she might subconsciously do something totally unnecessary, that’s all.

  …That was about what I was thinking then.

  That same day, after school…

  “Couldn’t you have said it better?” Koizumi said.

  “I’m sorry.” I replied.

  “Though you have indeed raised her spirits, I had wished you would have expressed it… without raising further obstacles.”

  “…Sorry.”

  “Instead of things going back to normal, the situation has now become even more extreme.”

  “…”

  “There’s no way we can conceal this.”

  Koizumi looked at me with his deep-colored eyes as I contemplate. He didn’t sound like he was blaming me, but his voice sounded very melancholic. Is that so? Things have become worse, and it looks like it’s because of me.

  Why’s that? How should I know?

  There were cherry blossoms everywhere. This was the cherry blossom path by the riverside, where Asahina-san revealed her true identity to me. Let us reconfirm the season again: it is autumn right now. There were still some remnants of summer within the air, but normally, Japanese cherry blossoms usually bloom in spring. It is usually acceptable if a flower blossoms earlier than its usual season, but to blossom half a year early was way too ridiculous. Were the cherry blossoms going as crazy as the sun itself?

  Under the falling cherry blossom petals, only Haruhi had her engines fired up. Wearing her tight waitress costume, Asahina-san wavered and walked aimlessly. Was it because she was unsettled by the flowers blossoming in the wrong season?

  “I never thought things would go my way so easily. I was just thinking of filming a scene full of cherry blossoms! This rare meteorological event sure is coincidental!”

  Haruhi spouted out, while making Asahina-san stand in all sorts of poses.

  It was impossible after all. Whenever people do something impulsively, it is always their future selves that suffer. It feels like I have continually been learning this lesson for the past six months.

  And I wasn’t meditating on, “I should’ve done that,” but rather, “I shouldn’t have done that.” A very negative thought indeed. Someone give me a gun! A real gun! Not a toy gun!

  The cherry blossom trees seemed to start blossoming after noon, and the petals started to fall by evening. The local television station even reported this as a rare event, how I wish they would just think of this as a one-off freak incident. Just blame it all on the abnormal events caused by the climate change of recent years, OK?

  “That’s what Suzumiya-san seems to think.”

  Koizumi said while walking shoulder to shoulder with Asahina-san. The sight of Koizumi, with his superficial good looks, and Asahina-san, who is genuinely pretty, standing together is enough to enrage all the males in this world. I was certainly feeling pissed by this.

  Nagato had no comment about the petals floating about, as she carried her usual blank expression and stared at the petals, whose biological clocks were completely messed up. The pink petals landed on her black cloak, creating a strong contrasting effect. Does she know about the pigeons?

  “That’s rig
ht! Let’s grab a cat!”

  Haruhi said, suddenly.

  “A sorceress ought to have a familiar, and what better than a cat? Where can we find a black cat? And we need a good looking one as well.”

  Hang on, wasn’t Nagato supposed to be an evil alien magician? “What’s the difference? Let’s go! That’s what I’ve visualized anyway. Where can we find a cat?” “In the pet store, of course!”

  Surprisingly Haruhi made a compromise after hearing my casual suggestion, “A wild cat would do. We probably need to borrow and return one from the pet store. It’s too bothersome. Is there an empty patch of land where we can find wild cats? Yuki, do you know?” “Yes.”

  Nagato nodded slightly, then she began to walk as though leading us to the Promised Land like a religious leader. What else does Nagato not know? If I asked her where the wallet I lost five years ago was, she would probably tell me, since it contained all the wealth I had then, which was about 500 Yen.

  About fifteen minutes later, we arrived at the back of the deluxe apartment block where Nagato lived. There was a well-trimmed lawn surrounded by trees, which obscures the view from the outside. A few cats were gathered there. They looked like wild cats, but they weren’t afraid of people. When I walked towards them, they didn’t try to run away, maybe they thought we were going to feed them? Some of them even purred under our legs. Haruhi picked up one of the cats and said,

  “Aren’t there any black cats? All right, we’ll use this cat then!” It was a spotted cat, not to mention it’s male. Yet Haruhi had no idea how much of a pedigree this cat had, and she wasn’t in awe by the cat she had randomly picked up.

  “Here Yuki, this is your partner. Get along well with him.” Nagato received the cat with a blank expression as though she’d received a tissue pack distributed by those street salesmen, and the cat also carried a blank expression as it was carried over to her hands.

  Filming started right away, and as this was the rear of an apartment block, location no longer seemed to be a concern in making this movie. My camera was already stuffed with scenes that just came out of the director’s mind from time to time. I’m not in charge of editing all these broken scenes into a coherent story, am I?