Forever (This #5)

by J. B. McGee

  I laugh. “Right.”

  “Well, he had an affair with Joe’s mom back in the day. His stupid parents didn’t ever tell him.”

  “Did they know?”

  “In their defense, they weren’t sure. But they should have told him when he was older, especially after we met. I’m pissed at his parents. I can only imagine how he feels.”

  “So, the only brother he’s ever known is fighting for his life after he kinda steals his girlfriend, and while he’s dealing with that, he finds out he has two additional siblings and a different father?”

  “Yeah. It’s a lot.”

  “No wonder he’s running scared from Sam.”

  He nods and leans back against the wall, pressing me to his body. His warmth soothes the nausea that’s settled in since I got the news. It has to be psychological. There’s no way symptoms would come with the mere notion of being pregnant, right? Bradley kisses my nose. “You look pale and tired even though you had a nap. Are you coming down with something?”

  I’ve come down with something all right. For a second, I think about telling him, but considering the news he’s just been given, I don’t want to overwhelm him. “No. It’s freezing in here.”

  He snuggles me against him and rubs my back and kisses my hair. “I have always thought of Joe as a brother. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact he really is.”

  “Me neither. I guess we were all meant to be family one way or another.”

  “Yes. That means Cade’s actually Joe’s cousin too. See, weird.”

  My thoughts go to Sam. “I’m going to need to get her back to Mercer for her shift.”

  “When is her shift?”

  “She goes in tomorrow morning.” The nausea becomes stronger. How am I going to hide being sick from him in order to come up with some creative way to tell him? Perhaps I should go ahead and tell him my secret now. But I don’t want it to be here, like this. “I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” I push off his chest and rush through the door to the restroom across the hall. When I’m inside with the door locked, I empty the remaining contents of my stomach in the toilet. I have known I’m pregnant for less than an hour, and I already hate it.

  After I’m finished, I wash my hands and face. Bradley and Sam are right. When I look in the mirror, my eyes are weak, my skin is pale. My fingers pinch my cheeks, then I turn and exit.

  Bradley’s waiting outside the door for me. “Did I just hear you vomiting in there? Are you sick?”

  “Sam got sick this morning too. I think we may have food poisoning.”

  “You’re not gonna drive her back, then. That’s too far to go for both of you to be sick.”

  “I feel better now. I’m fine.” It’s not food poisoning. And he can’t keep me from driving my entire pregnancy. “I promise. I’m okay.”

  His jaw tightens. He suddenly seems so big, towering over me. Those blue eyes are fierce. “Call me if you get into trouble. I’ll come get you. Pull over if you feel even remotely sick.”

  I nod. “Yes, sir, Mr. Banks.”

  He smirks. “I need you back in one piece.” He closes his eyes. “All I’ve thought about since this happened to Ryan is what I’d do if it were you. It’d destroy me, Gabby.”

  Standing on the tips of my toes, I lock my lips with his, then pull away. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

  “Are y’all leaving now?”

  “We should. I’ll swing by and pick you up on my way home. Or maybe you can get Joe to leave long enough to get a shower and ride home with him?”

  He nods. “I may try that. I’ll call you if I leave so you’ll know not to come back here.”

  “Sounds good. I’m gonna go get Sam.”

  He threads his fingers with mine. “I’ll walk with you. Enjoy you while you’re here for a few minutes longer.”

  When we arrive back at the waiting room, Joe is sitting on one side of the room and Sam on the other. There’s an invisible giant elephant in the middle, and it’s sucking all the air out of the entire building. “Sam. You ready to get back?” I watch Joe out of my peripheral vision, and he never looks at her. She watches him, and I ache for her. She walks over to him. “I’ll be praying for Ryan…for you. Remember what I said.”

  He eyes her briefly before looking back down. “Yep. Thanks.”

  It hurts me to watch him, and I’m not even the one in love with him. Sam turns and starts to walk toward me. I continue to study Joe, and as soon as her back is to him, he gazes at her. He turns pale, and tears fill his eyes. I plead with my eyes for her, on her behalf. His lids close and he turns his head.

  Sam glances back, and I want to scream for them to knock it off and grow up, but it’s not my business, this isn’t the place, and there’s no time left.

  I lean into Bradley. “Call me if you leave, okay? I love you.”

  He wraps his arms around my waist and gives me a quick kiss. “I love you. Be careful.”

  Sam sighs. “I thought all your public displays of affection would chill once you two got married.”

  He laughs and releases me. “Bye, Sam.”

  “Bye, Bradley.” She looks over her shoulder one more time. “See ya, Joe.”

  “Later.” He barely gives her the time of day. If I hadn’t seen his tears, I’d think he was being a jerk.

  Sam and I lock arms as we walk down the hall. “I’m sorry about Joe.”

  Her head is down. “Me too. I hope he changes his mind.”

  “I give him two weeks.”

  “Two whole weeks? It’s only been an hour and I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through a day.” She pushes the button for the elevator. “What makes you say two weeks?”

  “Well, this week will be busy for him. He’ll be here at the hospital dealing with family stuff, working through the emotions…waiting for Ryan to wake up.” The doors open and we enter, then press the button for the ground floor. “Then, Ryan will wake up, and he’ll feel like he did the right thing for a minute or two. Then, when things settle and neither of them have you, he’ll realize he’s royally screwed up. He’ll come back and beg for forgiveness. Men. They’re so formulaic.”

  The elevator stops on the fourth floor and when the doors open, Ian is standing there. He steps in. “Gabby, Sam.” I told Sam last night after we got home about running into him and Veronica. As much as Ian broke my heart as my first love, once I knew the love of Bradley, I realized I was maybe just bent from Ian. It mended back into place just fine, stronger even, and ready to love and be loved. In a way, it took the whole debacle with Veronica for Ian and me to finally get to an okay place. It forced us to talk through the past.

  I step aside. “How’s Veronica? Everything okay?”

  He nods. “I’m just gonna step out to get us some other kind of food than this hospital stuff. It’s okay for the first couple of meals, but then it’s just the same old stuff over and over.”

  When the elevator reaches the ground floor we step off. “Sam, can I have a minute with Ian alone?” I ask. She looks at me like I’ve grown three heads, and he looks at me like I’ve grown maybe four. “It will only take a second. I’m fine.” I reach in my pocket, pull my keys out, and toss them to her. “You can go ahead to the car.”

  “What’s up?” he asks.

  “So you and Veronica…having a baby. That’s great!”

  He smiles. “Thanks. You and Bradley gonna have babies anytime soon?” I freeze. He can’t be the second person to know. He can’t find out before Bradley. Why did I decide to talk to him? Stupid decisions. “Maybe. If it happens, it happens.” Yeah. Because that’s the truth.

  “Veronica and I started seeing each other after Faith died. Our souls were both crushed, but we were the only people who could understand each other’s pain.”

  I’m not sure what any of this has to do with me, but I listen because he clearly needs to say it. “The night before your wedding, we got in a big fight. She saw me wrapping your wedding gift.”

 
He’d met me in a parking lot to give it to me, pulling me away from my bachelorette party. It was a picture of Faith with a frame that said, “Never lose faith. Always have hope. Love for always.” It was precious. I know Bradley cherishes it because even though he wasn’t her father, he spent months and that first day thinking she was. I do believe he loved her like his own, and when she passed away, he took it really hard.

  I furrow my brows. “Why did she get upset?”

  “She didn’t know what it was, and I couldn’t talk about it with her. We ended up getting in this huge fight, then making up. That’s when we conceived the second baby.” He laughs. “Hope that’s not TMI, but in a way, you gave us our second chance. I’m glad I am getting the chance to say thanks.”

  “Oh, wow, Ian.” I shake my head. “Not too much information. Thank you for telling me.”

  “I asked her to marry me. She said yes.”

  “I’m so happy for you both.”

  He smiles. “Thanks. I just hope this baby is going to be okay, but we have the best doctors. They seem optimistic.”

  “She’ll be okay. I have faith.” I wink. “Sounds like maybe Faith is the one who gave you your second chance. It was the frame of her that caused your fight, not me.”

  “You just called her a girl.” His eyes widen. “What if it’s a he?”

  “It’s a girl. I can feel it. Listen, I have to go take Sam to Macon.” I point to the exit and take a few steps. “But I just wanted to take a minute to catch up with you.”

  “I’m glad you did. Hey! How’s your friend?” He takes one long stride and is by my side. I forgot he mentioned he was leaving too.

  “He’s about the same. Thanks for asking. When is your wedding?”

  “We haven’t set a date yet. Veronica wants something small after the baby is born. Maybe just the three of us.”

  “Well, maybe we’ll run into you again. I’m parked over there.”

  He points in the opposite direction. “And I’m over there. Listen, it was good to see you again, Gabby. I wish nothing but the best for you.

  “You too, Ian. You, too.”

  I unlock the door to my apartment I’m glad I kept since Ryan and I broke up, open it, and toss my keys on the counter. I grab the knob and lock the deadbolt. Gabby and I have watched a ton of chick flicks in our day, and every part of me wants to turn around and see Joe sitting on my couch with his leg crossed over his knee and a sexy smirk on his face. My ears yearn to hear him profess his love in a romantic setting and not during a breakup after a hookup. But he’s not here. My shoulders fall, my eyes droop, and the fatigue from the past week sets into my bones and joints. Opening the cabinet, I take a glass and pour myself some water. Nothing’s tasted good. My appetite left when I walked out of that waiting room and realized Joe was about to ruin us. I walk to my room and plop on my bed, pulling my cell phone from the pocket of my scrubs.

  Gabby said she’d give him two weeks to regret his decision to end things before they even got started with us. So far, it’s been seven days. There have been one hundred and sixty-eight agonizing hours. Gabby did accurately predict how the week would go. She’s kept me posted. He and his parents have been talking a lot, working through some of their issues, which makes me happy for him. I wish I had the strength and courage to do the same, but the nightmares from my childhood have only increased since Ryan’s accident, since Joe claimed me and then returned me like I was flawed merchandise. The only man to not abandon me was Ryan, and I left him. Maybe it’s some kind of karma.

  Ryan has shown improvements every day. He should be released tomorrow. He’s very lucky to be able to walk away from that accident without any permanent injuries.

  Every part of me wants to be patient with Joe the way he was with me, but I’ve not even gotten a text with some fun fact from him. This is like the month after the ultimatum. How did he survive? I swipe and pull up his string of text messages. Seeing his words to me makes me ache even more. This was my worst fear. To choose one and lose them both.

  I miss my best friend more than I miss him as my lover.

  So I decide to write him a message.

  Sam:

  I saw this quote by an unknown author on Pinterest today during my break. It said, “I hate waiting. But if waiting means being able to be with you, I’ll wait for as long as forever to be with you.”

  Please don’t make me wait forever, but I will.

  I stare at the text for a few seconds, reading and re-reading it. For a minute, I think it makes me seem too desperate, but this man sent me sexy messages begging me to choose him for months. So, I press send without a single regret. Maybe he wants to see I want him as badly as he wanted me. Stupid little high school games, but I’m willing to play them with him.

  I watch the clock on my wall tick. Each second nearly in sync with the syncopation of my heart. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. The screen lights up. Except, instead of it being a text back from Joe, it’s Gabby.

  I swipe the green light to the right. “Hello.”

  “How’d your week go?” she asks.

  “Long. Hard. Did you get an appointment like I told you to?”

  She sighs. “They can’t see me until after Christmas.”

  “Yeah. Not surprising. You’re not really high risk and the holidays and all. Have you told Bradley?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Have you been on Pinterest lately? I’m thinking I need to find some cute way to tell him. There should be a picture of the big reveal to post to Facebook. It’s overwhelming. I’m not crafty like you.”

  I roll my eyes. “You don’t have to be crafty. Put a bun in the oven or something.” My stomach starts to roll and rumble. When was the last time I had food? All I want to do is sleep, but getting my mind to fully shut down has been so hard for the last one hundred and sixty-eight hours. “How are you feeling?”

  “So sick. It was easy the first couple of days because I just told him I had a bad case of food poisoning, but it’s getting hard to keep this little secret.”

  “Go to the drug store tomorrow when he’s at work and buy Seabands.”

  “What?”

  I rest my burning eyes. “Sea. Bands. They are for motion sickness, but they use acupuncture pressure points to relieve nausea. See if they help you until you can get to the doctor. Have you lost any weight from the vomiting this week?”

  “Nope. I’m mainly vomiting in the morning, but the nausea is all day. The fatigue sets in after lunch, and all I can think about is sleep.”

  Given the fact I’ve been at the hospital nearly non-stop for a week, I can relate. My lips part and a yawn escapes. “Don’t say the word sleep or I may fall out on the phone. I’m so tired.”

  “Same here. You’re coming to Christmas, right? Because that’s when I’m thinking I’ll tell Bradley. Christmas morning if I can keep it a secret until then, and then we’ll share with everyone after lunch. I can’t imagine you not being there.”

  My throat tightens. Joe will be there. And Ryan. Gabe. But Joe makes my insides quiver. “It’s going to be so awkward on my end, Gabby. Gabe, Joe, Ryan…everyone in my life that makes me squirm—either good or bad—is going to be there.”

  “Sam, I’m about to have a baby. I need to know you’re going to be here for me. I need to know I don’t have to stress about your feelings with Gabe. I wish you’d give him a chance.”

  “Joe said the same thing.” The difference when Joe told me to work it out with my parents was he wasn’t practicing what he preached. His relationship was equally as dysfunctional as mine. But in the last week, he’s working on it. “How is he?”

  “He’s a mess, to be honest. One minute he’s like a lost puppy and the next he’s snapping at people.” She hesitates. “Have you spoken to him?”

  “If I’d spoken to him, I wouldn’t need to ask my baby sister for updates on him, would I?”

  “I guess not, huh. I’m sorry. He’s got a lot on his plate. We
all do, though, so I know that probably doesn’t give you comfort.”

  A tear leaks from the corner of my eye. “Do you still think your two week rule will prove true?”

  “I don’t know, Sam. Give him a little more time. Maybe you two can talk when you come for Christmas if things haven’t smoothed over.”

  My chest feels like it’s being ripped open when I think about three hundred and twelve more hours without hearing his voice, getting a text from him, or seeing his face. “I’m coming. I’ll try to be patient with him, but you know patience is a virtue I don’t possess.”

  “About Gabe.”

  “Gabby, do we have to do this right now? I’m so exhausted.” Rolling over, I pull the covers over me. I swear, it’d be so easy to go to sleep right here, right now.

  “Yes, because who knows when we’ll talk again. I don’t know that you have to forget everything he did. I know that’s not easy for you. I’m not asking you to pretend none of it happened. I’m only asking that you forgive him, and let’s try to move forward. For the sake of my unborn child.” I hear her swallow. “My baby is going to have a grandparent that is a blood relative to me, Sam. That means more than anything in the past. This is a new chapter. A new generation.”

  “Okay. I’ll think about it. I’ll try, okay?” There was a quote I read once about how you have to fix yourself before you can be emotionally available to someone else. Maybe Joe’s trying to fix himself so he’ll be available. I owe it to him to do the same. “Try harder, I guess. Because I tried at your wedding too.”

  “That’s all I’m asking. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Now. Let’s change the subject. So, about this surprise for Bradley. What did you have in mind?”

  She giggles. “Well, this is new. Us conspiring against him.”

  I smile. Bradley always comes to me with his surprises for her. “I have no clue. I’ve been looking on Pinterest some, but honestly, every time I’m still for more than about two seconds, I find my eyes closing and drool seeping out of my mouth like an over fatigued toddler.”