Rescue My Heart

by Avery Ford

  “I’m getting there,” Dmitri promised. “The thing about dogs raised by breeders — reputable breeders, that is — is that you know specific things about a dog almost for certain. I can tell you right now that one of my bitches, Lily, is more likely to develop cataracts due to her genetics. I can tell you that my dog, Jagger, will likely live to be about twelve years old based on his family history. I have a family tree with full health details and histories, and that means a certain kind of guarantee in the eyes of a family looking for a dog who will meet certain specifications.”

  Arthur chewed the thought over.

  “If a family wants a laid-back dog, I can guarantee them the perfect pet. If they need a dog who is trained to protect, I can guarantee that, too. If a family has children, I can promise them that the dog they buy from me is going to treat that child like it was its own. That’s the kind of promise you can’t get from a shelter, and I don’t blame people for wanting that safety. A dog is a big commitment, and some people want to know for sure that what they’re getting is what they see.”

  It made sense, and Arthur saw the logic in it.

  “Personally, I also screen all of my potential buyers. I don’t let people who aren’t committed to taking care of a dog walk out with one of my pack. Either the dog is cared for by me, or it’s taken in by someone I know is going to love it and care for it just as much.”

  “I didn’t know,” Arthur admitted.

  “That’s all right. You do now, right?” It looked like Dmitri had something to say, but if he did, he didn’t say it. Arthur watched as he picked himself up from the wall. “I’ve got to get started with the dogs today. Thanks for asking me questions instead of gossiping or spreading rumors. I really appreciate being able to tell the truth upfront instead of having to correct lies.”

  Arthur nodded, uncertain if Dmitri was low-key accusing him of lying and gossiping, or if he was just stating his frustration at what had happened in the past.

  Whatever it was, as Dmitri looked away, Arthur followed him with his eyes. There was a lot more to Dmitri than he knew, and the longer they knew each other, the more obvious it became.

  Arthur crossed his arms over his chest, and it wasn’t until Dmitri turned the corner and was gone that he realized what he was doing — he was hugging Dmitri’s hoodie tight.

  Arthur dropped his arms and snapped back to reality. It was just a little crush. It would go away in time.

  Maybe.

  But after their conversation today, Arthur didn’t feel all that sure that his attraction to Dmitri was a passing fad.

  18

  Arthur

  Another week came to a close, and with it came the end of the exam period. With summer vacation suddenly here, Arthur found himself with some unexpected free time.

  Free time Quip was quick to fill.

  “We’re going partying once exams are done,” Quip had told him before they went into their first exam. “We’re going to hook. You. Up.”

  “I don’t think I want to hook up with anyone.”

  “I guess the hooking up part is negotiable, as long as the party part isn’t. I’m way too high-strung not to have something to look forward to once we get through this fresh hell.”

  Arthur was inclined to agree.

  And when the Friday night after exams were over rolled around, he found himself standing in the living room of a local house, surrounded by faces he didn’t know, with one too many beers already downed.

  Quip was quick to find someone, and within the first hour, he was locking lips with a gorgeous stranger that Arthur was fairly sure was a graduate student. Arthur didn’t know how Quip did it. Arthur was far too nervous to get so close to someone so soon. Not even the beers helped.

  “Hey!” A girl latched onto Arthur’s arm, and he jumped. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. Look how jumpy you are. I just thought that you were my friend, Kevin. Sorry.”

  The devious look on her face told Arthur that she hadn’t mistaken him for anybody. In fact, he was willing to bet Kevin didn’t exist.

  “It’s okay,” Arthur said. The house was crowded with people, and the conversation rose to a dull roar. It almost drowned out the music blasting through the speaker system. “I’m going to go find my friend, okay? And you go find yours.”

  “You don’t want to help me?” she asked, pouting.

  “No, thank you. Good luck.” Arthur parted from her side and picked his way through the crowds. People cluttered the hallways and clustered in the kitchen. On his way in, someone pressed a sealed beer can into his hand. Arthur looked down at it, then tried to find the person who’d gifted him the drink, but whoever it was got lost in a sea of faces.

  Nervous, Arthur popped the top and drank. He continued his tour of the house, picking his way around couples and begging his way beyond small groups.

  Quip wasn’t anywhere to be found.

  By the time Arthur had finished his sweep of the ground floor, he’d finished another beer. The alcohol prickled behind his eyes and loosened his limbs, and when he turned his head, the whole world seemed to blur. It made him feel sick.

  Could Quip be upstairs? Arthur stumbled his way toward them only to find the stairs were as crowded as the rest of the house was. With his poor reflexes and his churning stomach, he didn’t think he’d be able to make it upstairs without falling.

  Arthur found an unoccupied stretch of wall and leaned against it as the world spun. He took his phone from his pocket and sent Quip a text.

  I wanna go home. Where are you?

  The message was sent, and the notification on the bottom acknowledged that Quip’s phone had received it, but the message went unread.

  Quip’s probably upstairs locked in one of the bedrooms with the guy he met. I’m not going to see him again tonight. I need to find another way home…

  Arthur closed his eyes and tried to gather his thoughts. When his head spun like it did, it was hard to think rationally.

  He knew he had to get home, and he knew that the busses had all stopped running. The only thing to do was to call someone or spend the next few hours walking home. Arthur scrolled his contact list, looking for a lifeline. He dialed the first person he came across that lived in the area — Dr. Halifax.

  The phone rang and rang, and right as Arthur was about to hang up, it connected.

  “Dr. Harry Halifax speaking,” Harry said stiffly.

  “Harry.” Arthur ran his tongue over his teeth, regretting his choice almost instantly. “Um, Dr. Halifax, it’s um, it’s Arthur. Arthur Jessup.”

  “Arthur?” The stiffness in Harry’s voice instantly turned to concern. “What’s the matter? It’s two in the morning.”

  “I know.” Arthur breathed out until his lungs felt flat, then breathed back in. The nausea wasn’t going away. “I’m, um, I’m at this party, and my friend disappeared, and I’m stuck. I’m really sorry to call you but I’m starting to get sick and I didn’t know what else to do.”

  “Where are you?” Harry asked.

  “It’s 64 Northcote, right downtown,” Arthur replied truthfully. “Quip wanted to come, said we should celebrate since exams are over, and… and so we did. I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Harry said. “I’m glad that you’re calling me instead of trying to find a ride with someone at the party. I can’t come out, but I’m going to make sure someone comes to get you, okay?”

  “I’m sorry to wake you up,” Arthur elaborated. His mind was stuck on the small details. “I’m sorry I’m not more responsible. I just… I’ve been working so hard, you know? It’s so hard.”

  “Arthur.” Harry’s voice was a little sharper this time, not out of anger, but in the stern, rigid way a parent might use with a child who needed guidance. “You don’t have to apologize, and you don’t have to explain yourself. You’re an adult. You’re allowed to cut loose every now and then. I know how hard you’ve been working.”

  Arthur nodded even though Harry couldn’t see.


  “I want you to go wait outside the house, okay? Sit on the lawn if you have to. Get some fresh air so you feel a little better, and I’ll have someone show up to get you.”

  “Okay,” Arthur said. Platonic affection for Harry bloomed in his chest. “Thank you. I’m so glad that you’re still in my life. I don’t know what I’d do if I were all alone.”

  “I know, Arthur,” Harry said softly. “You don’t have to worry. Rachel and I are here for you, okay?”

  “Thank you. You’re wonderful. You really are.” Arthur knew he was rambling, but he felt so good about the things Harry was doing for him that he couldn’t stop himself. After what his parents had put him through, it was a relief to know he still had support.

  “I’m going to hang up now,” Harry said kindly. “Make sure you’re waiting outside, okay?”

  “I will. Thank you.”

  “Good night, Arthur.”

  “Good night, Dr. Halifax.”

  The call ended. Arthur smiled at the screen of his phone, then tucked it back into his pocket and left the house. No one noticed. He was just another face in the crowd.

  The yard was blissfully quiet. It wasn’t until he’d left the party that Arthur realized just how loud it had been. His ears rang, and he settled on the grass by the sidewalk and tried to readjust to normal, quiet life.

  A few smokers lingered on the porch, and he felt them looking his way from time to time, but he didn’t let it get to him. Someone was coming to pick him up. It wouldn’t be long before he would be back at his apartment, a fading memory in their minds.

  With a contented sigh, Arthur lay back on the grass and looked up at the stars. Rollins was large enough that its light pollution lightened the sky slightly, but the night sky was still dark enough that Arthur found plenty of stars to admire.

  Tonight had been okay, but it wasn’t for him. Maybe Dmitri was on to something with not being much of a drinker. Partying wasn’t really Arthur’s priority. He’d missed it when he’d been so busy with work and school that freedom was a pipedream, but now that the pressure was off, Arthur intended to reevaluate his time and find the things that really mattered to him.

  Drinking with random strangers and going prematurely deaf wasn’t something he wanted to do.

  Arthur wasn’t sure how long he spent staring at the night sky. Time bled away, inconsequential. The nausea he’d been battling died down, and he let himself relax. It wasn’t until someone nudged the sole of his shoe that he jerked back to reality and realized he was sprawled out on the front lawn of someone’s house.

  Arthur picked himself up by the elbows and froze. Dmitri stood before him, one brow playfully quirked.

  “Hey,” Dmitri said. “Rachel told me you needed a ride?”

  Rachel. Of course it would have been Rachel. Arthur swallowed hard.

  Now that Dmitri wasn’t the bad guy Arthur thought he was, Arthur found it a lot harder to overlook how attractive he was. Arousal pumped through Arthur’s veins, and he knew that he was too far gone not to make a fool of himself. Deep down, he wanted Dmitri.

  Maybe it was time to let Dmitri know.

  19

  Dmitri

  “Do you need help getting up?” Dmitri held out his hand. Arthur was still on the grass, his torso barely propped up by his shoulders. “Do you think you can walk?”

  “I…” Arthur looked uncomfortable, but there was a look in his eyes that suggested the discomfort wasn’t because he didn’t want to be around Dmitri. In fact, Dmitri was sure what he saw in Arthur’s eyes flirted dangerously with desire. “I’m okay.”

  “But you’re not standing,” Dmitri remarked.

  “I guess I’m not,” Arthur said.

  Tonight he wore a t-shirt a little more closely fitted to his body than the ones he wore to the shelter. The shirt had ridden up over his hips, exposing a sliver of pale skin that Dmitri felt guilty for looking at.

  Arthur was attractive, but he was also drunk. Besides, Dmitri hadn’t had a chance to set things right with him. If he wanted to make sure they pushed the restart button, hitting on him while he was intoxicated was a bad idea.

  “The grass is comfy,” Arthur mused. He flopped back down. “When I sit up, I feel nauseous. It’s gross.”

  “Well, we’re going to get you home so you can get to bed,” Dmitri said. He tucked his hands into his pockets and waited. “The car’s running. All you need to do is get up and walk just a little further, then you can put the seat back as far at it’ll go and fall asleep if you want.”

  “Do you think I’m stupid?” Arthur lifted his head to look at Dmitri, then lowered it and stared at the sky.

  Dmitri watched him curiously. “Why would I think you’re stupid?”

  “For getting drunk.”

  “You’re twenty-one, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah.” Arthur sighed and sat up slowly. “But I came out here and lost my friend, who was my ride home, and then I had to call my genetics professor to send help. That seems pretty stupid to me.”

  “No.” Dmitri reached down again, and this time Arthur accepted his hand. Dmitri helped him stand even as the electricity of their touch shot through him. He couldn’t deny his physical attraction to Arthur. “Even if this was a stupid idea, even the smartest people make mistakes. You can’t always be perfect.”

  Arthur lurched to his feet. “Tell that to my dad.”

  Arthur was unsteady on his feet, so Dmitri drew him close out of necessity. Arthur looped his arms loosely around Dmitri’s neck and rested his head on Dmitri’s shoulder. He sighed a dreamy kind of sigh and nuzzled Dmitri’s collarbone.

  Dmitri stood perfectly still, as though any sudden movement might trigger a catastrophe. Really, he was afraid that if Arthur came any closer, he’d feel how Dmitri was starting to get hard. Try as Dmitri might to shut down his brain’s attraction to Arthur, he couldn’t control his cock.

  “You good to walk?” Dmitri asked cautiously when Arthur didn’t move.

  “No.” Arthur laughed. He cuddled up against Dmitri and didn’t show any signs of moving. “You’re comfy, though. You know, I was actually kinda sad when I saw it was you.”

  “Why?”

  Think unsexy thoughts. I’ve gotta get my cock under control…

  “Because I don’t want to look like an idiot in front of you,” Arthur admitted. “You already hate me enough as it is, and I… I don’t know what I feel about you anymore, ever since we talked a few days ago.”

  Unsexy thoughts weren’t working. Dmitri’s pulse sped up.

  “You don’t know what you think about me?” he asked.

  Arthur nodded. It was a small motion, but Dmitri felt the movement clearly against his chest. “I thought you were a bad guy, but it turns out you’re not actually so bad after all, and now I don’t know what to think of you at all. I just wish you’d stop being mean to me.”

  The honesty stung, but Dmitri decided it was good motivation to keep working toward fixing things between him and Arthur. If Arthur actually thought the things he said, there was a chance they could come out of this as friends.

  Friends would be fine, Dmitri told himself. Friends was safe.

  “I don’t want to keep being mean to you,” Dmitri told Arthur as Arthur snuggled up to him. He was so damn cute. “I think I’m more used to dogs than I am to people.”

  “It’s okay.” Arthur’s fingers traced patterns absentmindedly on Dmitri’s back. Dmitri didn’t think Arthur knew that he was doing it, but it turned him the hell on. Thinking unsexy thoughts became an impossibility. “We’re going to keep on learning and getting to know each other, right?”

  Arthur’s face was close. Dmitri was hyper-focused on his lips and the scent of his skin.

  “Right,” Dmitri murmured. He turned his head toward Arthur, the tension building. It grew thick in the air.

  It’s wrong for me to do this. He’s drunk. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.

  “Wanna get to know you,” Arthur whisper
ed. He clung to Dmitri, refusing to let go. “I don’t think you’re a bad guy. And I think… I kinda think you’re really…”

  “Mm?” Dmitri’s heart clogged his throat, stopping him from speaking.

  “Hot,” Arthur admitted. His eyes closed slowly, and he tightened his arms as they looped around Dmitri’s neck. Arthur lifted himself up, and before Dmitri had time to turn him down or push him away, Arthur’s lips met his.

  Arthur kissed him, and Dmitri’s whole world stopped.

  “Mmph,” Arthur mumbled. He ended the kiss soon after it began, but didn’t back too far away from Dmitri. “I’m going to regret that in the morning, aren’t I?”

  “You are,” Dmitri murmured back. “You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

  “Rachel and Harry think we’re good together,” Arthur said. “They think we’re a good match. Why can’t we just… you know. You said everyone makes mistakes, right? So what if we’re a mistake? We can just… just stop it eventually.”

  The things Arthur was saying were dangerous. Dmitri’s cock was in full agreement, but his mind protested with everything it had.

  Arthur couldn’t give consent. Not like this. Dmitri wanted nothing more than to take him home and bring him to bed, but doing so wouldn’t just be selfish, it would be wrong. He had more respect for Arthur than that, and he would have even if he still considered Arthur the annoying kid he’d met at the shelter.

  “I don’t think this is right,” Dmitri told Arthur softly.

  “Why not?” Arthur asked. He kissed the corner of Dmitri’s mouth. “My best friend is somewhere in that house with a guy he just met a few hours ago. I’ve known you for a month or two. Why is it wrong if I want to go home with you?”

  “Because you’re drunk.”

  “No.” Arthur let his head rest on Dmitri’s shoulder again. “I liked you before I was drunk, too.”

  “That’s sweet, but let’s get you home, okay?”

  Arthur didn’t reply. His body sagged, and Dmitri took it to mean that he was upset. But that was the way it had to be.