by Avery Ford
Dmitri
Dmitri lit the last candle and stepped back from the table. He’d polished all of his mother’s old silverware until it shone, and cleaned all of the good china he’d neglected for years and years. All of it was laid out on the table, glimmering in the dim light overhead.
The dining room looked classy. The house had been cleaned from top to bottom. All of the sheets had been washed, the bed had been made, and Dmitri had laid out rose petals on the sheets. He twisted his hands in anticipation, wondering how long it would be until the doorbell rang.
The doorbell didn’t ring at all. A hand dropped on Dmitri’s shoulder, and he shouted out in surprise and jerked around to face whoever was behind him.
It was Arthur, and Arthur was smiling at him like he’d never seen something so adorable.
“Hey,” Arthur said softly. “The front door was open so I let myself in. I called out to let you know I was here, but I guess you didn’t hear me.”
“I didn’t.” Dmitri’s shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Sorry for being so jumpy.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. If I laid out all that beautiful china, I’d be jumpy, too.” Arthur looked over Dmitri’s shoulder at the table, then shot him a coy look. “What’s all this about? Usually we’re lactose-free pizza and paper plates, not silver spoons and expensive, delicate plates. Am I forgetting something? Is it our month-iversary?”
“No. I think that was a while ago.” Dmitri scratched at the back of his head. He had no idea how to come out and express the way he felt. “I just… wanted to do something nice for you tonight, you know? Being casual is great most of the time, but I want you to know how much you mean to me.”
The playfulness on Arthur’s face disappeared, displaced by sudden bashfulness. The apples of his cheeks turned pink, and he bit down on his lip in a way that drove Dmitri absolutely crazy. “Really?”
“Yes, really,” Dmitri said. “I want you to know that you’re appreciated and valued. I want you to remember nights like these the same as you’d remember our paper plates and pizza nights.”
“You’re sweet,” Arthur whispered. He took a little step closer, crowding into Dmitri’s personal space. Dmitri let him in gladly. “I’m kind of glad because I wanted to talk to you about something, and I think a quiet dinner’s going to be the perfect setting.”
Arthur wove their fingers together. The touch sent sparks through Dmitri just like it always did, but it woke sorrow in him, too. He knew that moments like these were limited. There was no doubt in his mind that Arthur was going to inform him of his decision to pursue education in Florida over dinner.
But for now, until he knew it for sure, Dmitri clung to the moment. They were still together, and that was enough for him. The suffering would come later. He was prepared for it.
“Why don’t you take a seat while I get things ready?” Dmitri asked.
“Um, no.” Arthur kissed his jaw and set his hands on Dmitri’s chest. “Why don’t you take a seat while I peek in on whatever you’ve got going on in the kitchen? It looks like you’ve been busting your ass preparing the house for me. The least I could do serve dinner for us.”
“Then why don’t we do it together?” Dmitri asked. “Do you want to collect the plates and bring them to the kitchen?”
“I like that idea. I’ll see you in the kitchen in a second.” Arthur collected the plates, and as he did, Dmitri saw himself into the kitchen. He’d slow cooked a roast and baked some potatoes. The kitchen smelled heavenly.
While Arthur made his way over, Dmitri turned off the slow cooker and the oven. As Arthur set the plates on the counter, he took the potatoes from the oven.
“I can’t believe you’d go through all of this just so we could have a fancy dinner,” Arthur admitted with a small laugh. “I’m totally blown away.”
“I figured it was worth it.”
Dmitri felt the air around him move, and it came as no surprise when Arthur slipped his arms around Dmitri’s waist and held him close. Dmitri leaned back against him, savoring his touch.
“You’re so tense,” Arthur whispered. He kissed the ridge of Dmitri’s ear. Dmitri’s knees almost buckled. “Do we need to get you to loosen up a little before we eat? You look restless.”
Dmitri wanted nothing more than to give in to Arthur’s touch. He wanted to forget that Arthur was likely moving across the country, leaving him behind. When they touched like that, it was easy to forget.
“I’m okay,” Dmitri said. “I’m just having a hard time with loss lately.”
“The dogs?” Arthur moved around him, stepping into the space between Dmitri and the oven. Dmitri wrapped his arms around Arthur instinctively. “You’re getting ready to put them on the market, right?”
“… Right.”
“I’ll admit, I’m going to be sad, too.” Arthur kissed along Dmitri’s jawline, each kiss light and breezy. “Since I’ve been helping out around the kennel, I’ve gotten to know them, too. But it’s like you said — you’ve got those new puppies to look after. They’re going to keep you so busy you won’t know what to do with yourself.”
“I…” The dogs were only a small part of Dmitri’s loss, but seeing the smile on Arthur’s face and hearing him do his best to reassure Dmitri in his time of need melted Dmitri’s heart. “You’re right. You’re totally right.”
“I’m not right about a lot, so it’s good to hear you say that.” Arthur unlocked his arms and stepped back toward the counter. “What else do you want to do tonight? I’m um, I can stay over. I don’t have anything going on tomorrow morning.”
Dmitri let silence lapse between them. He looked Arthur over, from his messy brown hair to his sapphire eyes to the narrow scope of his body. Everything about him was relaxed, like he wasn’t nervous about breaking Dmitri’s heart or having to skip out on the rest of the night because of bad news for their relationship.
“What are you looking at?” Arthur asked gently. He lifted Dmitri’s chin and met his eye. “You’re really not going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“You’re not buying the story about the dogs?” Dmitri asked, managing a small smile.
Arthur returned his expression. “Nope. You’re going to have to try harder than that. I know when the man I love isn’t feeling his best.”
The second Arthur finished the sentence, his eyes widened. Dmitri stood frozen in front of him, mind stumbling over what Arthur had said again and again.
Love. He loves me.
Arthur turned red. He took a small step back, almost as if he feared that Dmitri would rebuff him.
Dmitri wasn’t planning anything of the sort. Instead, his smile broadened.
“And all it takes to make me feel better is to hear the man I love say that he loves me.” Dmitri stepped forward, filling the gap that Arthur had left between them. His hand met Arthur’s arm, then slid around to his back to tug him close to his chest. He kissed the top of Arthur’s head, content beyond words.
Arthur never did get around to talking about whatever it was he wanted to talk about, but Dmitri didn’t mind. He couldn’t focus on much else than what Arthur had just told him, anyway.
Arthur loved him.
And maybe, just maybe, Dmitri thought that love could see them through despite the distance soon to be between them.
34
Arthur
Arthur crossed the small parking lot of his apartment and went straight for Rachel’s car. It was still early in the morning, but Rachel had let him know the day before that they’d be busy all day long, and Arthur expected the early wake-up. He was glad for it. Not only was keeping busy good for him, but helping Rachel drum up interest in the animal shelter was something he found himself passionate about.
Truly, totally passionate.
There was social marketing to do, and events to attend, and organizers to thank. There were overhead expenses to consider and safe risks to take. The more Arthur got involved in charity work, the more he saw it for what it was
— a way to reach out to people, make connections, and change the world.
It gave him a sense of purpose that studying biology never had.
“Good morning, Arthur,” Rachel said cheerfully from the car. She had her window rolled down. Her arm rested on the sill. “You look eager to get to work this morning.”
“I am eager,” Arthur said. He opened the passenger side door and sank down into the seat. “I’m ready to take on today and really make a difference.”
“You’re cute.” It was a genuine comment, not a condescending one. Arthur beamed. “But you’d look cuter if I gave you some good news. Are you ready?”
“You have good news for me?” Arthur asked.
Rachel grinned. “I sure do. First things first, I picked you up this iced, lactose-free hot chocolate and a bacon, egg, and Edam breakfast sandwich. You’ll need your energy today, and I’m willing to bet you didn’t eat breakfast.”
Rachel pointed at the fast food bag in the back seat and at the chilled drink in her cup holder. Arthur made a face. He’d been taking home leftovers from dinner with Dmitri, but besides that, he didn’t have much money for a grocery budget. He ate what he could when he could. Breakfast never felt all that necessary.
“So that’s good news number one. But good news number two blows good news number one out of the water. Are you ready?”
“Ready,” Arthur said.
“Well…” Rachel stretched the word out, teasing the syllables like a kid about to reveal a juicy secret to her friends. “You know, when you do all this volunteer work with me and bump shoulders with so many people, you’re not really working in a bubble. A few of the professional organizers we’ve been working with have taken an interest in you.”
“Um?” Arthur felt the excitement bubbling inside, but he didn’t let it boil over just yet. “What do you mean by ‘taken an interest in you’?”
“I mean, they’re impressed with the work you do, Arthur. You’ve got the enthusiasm and the drive of someone who was born to do charity work. I’ve had some people ask about if they could have you on as a paid member of staff.”
Arthur’s jaw fell open. He looked at Rachel in disbelief. “A paid member of staff?”
“The salary isn’t luxurious, but it’s definitely enough for a single person to live on modestly, and there’s always possibility for advancement,” Rachel added quickly. She didn’t need to sell Arthur on the prospect — his heart had leapt into his throat and his pulse was already racing.
Someone wanted to pay him to do the things he loved to do?
“I…”
“I don’t have an exact figure,” Rachel continued. “But I think you’re looking at about forty grand a year, maybe? Maybe more? I’m thinking that’s what the starting salary is. With benefits, of course. You’d need to get in touch with the people interested in hiring you on to talk about it, but they asked me to kind of pass along the news and ask you to get in touch.”
Iced hot chocolate and a breakfast sandwich had nothing on this. Arthur laughed, the sound startled and choked, but exuberant.
“You’re serious?” he asked in disbelief. “You’re not just pretending this is a real thing?”
“Why would I pretend about something like that?” Rachel asked. “I’m for real, and so are the job offers. I’m thinking if you hold out a few more days, you might drum up some more interest and be able to sweeten the deal a little. You might have more than one organization willing to take you on. But, you know, it’s a thing, and you should definitely consider it.”
Forty thousand dollars a year wasn’t doctor level money, but it was more money than Arthur had ever made working fast food jobs. It would be enough to see him able to afford groceries and would take a chunk out of his debt load.
He couldn’t believe it.
“So after today’s student rally for the shelter, I’m going to give you some more information, okay?” Rachel winked. “I’m really proud of you, Arthur, and I’m so, so glad that other people are seeing how devoted and hard-working you are, too.”
“Thank you.” He didn’t know what else to say, so he pulled Rachel into a hug. She laughed and hugged him back. “Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me.”
“Oh, I think I might know.” Rachel patted his back. “But you deserve it. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I mean it.”
Happiness seemed more plausible than ever. Arthur blinked away the start of overjoyed tears and broke the embrace. He sat back in his chair.
“I think we should get going,” he said. “I don’t want to make a bad impression when so much is on the line.”
“You got it!”
They’d pulled out of the parking lot and were on their way in the next few seconds. The rest of the day, Arthur couldn’t stop smiling.
It may not have been the most lucrative way forward financially, but his heart was a million times richer than it had been just a few short hours ago.
After an incredibly successful day canvasing the students still on campus, Arthur returned to Dmitri’s house and slipped into bed with him. Dmitri, freshly emerged from the shower, pulled back the sheets and settled beside Arthur. Arthur pressed up against his side and looped an arm over his chest, feeling drunk from how happy he was.
“You haven’t been able to stop smiling all night,” Dmitri remarked. He kissed the top of Arthur’s head.
“Nope. I… I have some good news,” Arthur said. “I’m not going to go to graduate school.”
Arthur figured that the news was bound to make Dmitri happy, but instead, Dmitri pulled back from him and looked him over with a worried expression. “You’re not going to graduate school?”
“Nope.” Arthur tried to keep the mood positive. He smiled. “I was offered a paid position organizing charitable events, and I’m going to take it. Today alone do you know what we raised for the shelter? Over a thousand dollars. It’s incredible. I feel so good about it.”
“I see.” Dmitri didn’t sound angry, but there was no enthusiasm in his voice, either. His expression was subdued. He rolled onto his back and closed his eyes. The mood shifted. Despite Arthur’s attempts to keep positive, he felt the sorrow roll off Dmitri. It upset him.
Why was Dmitri upset that he was going to stay in town? It meant that they didn’t have to worry about a long distance relationship. It meant that they could keep seeing each other almost every night like they’d taken to doing.
Arthur didn’t say anything else. He’d wanted to go on and on about the things he’d done that day and how excited he was to be joining such a fantastic, talented team, but with Dmitri like that, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Dmitri clicked the light off. Darkness swallowed them.
Did Dmitri expect him to go? Did he want their relationship to end? Arthur couldn’t think why else he’d be so visibly disappointed with Arthur’s big new.
Arthur tried not to think about it, but he spent more time that night than he cared to admit tossing and turning before an uneasy sleep claimed him. He’d found happiness in his new future, but a big part of that future involved Dmitri.
Now he couldn’t be sure if Dmitri still wanted him or not.
35
Dmitri
Arthur didn’t come to stay with him the next night, or the night after that. Dmitri followed up with him through text message, and although Arthur replied, his answers had lost some of their enthusiasm. He didn’t try to engage in conversation.
The itching, aching loneliness in Dmitri’s soul reared back up, and with it came crippling waves of doubt.
He blamed himself for Arthur’s choices. Graduate school was such a huge step in Arthur’s life, and he’d thrown it away for Dmitri’s sake. It was a decision that would likely eat at him for the rest of his life, and Dmitri wondered how long it would be before Arthur regretted his choice.
If he’d gone away to graduate school, he would have had a future. He could ha
ve made a name for himself.
Instead, he was going to stay in Rollins and limit his possibilities.
Dmitri had stolen Arthur’s future from him, and it bothered him like nothing else ever had.
Mid-afternoon several days after Arthur’s last stay at Dmitri’s place, Dmitri received a text from him.
We made enough to keep Locust Hill open for another year. We’re not closing.
Dmitri read the message several times, but every time he went to reply, what he wanted to say sounded stupid. He left the message unanswered and went back to tending to Annie and the puppies. It was better this way. There was a chance that Arthur might change his mind and go to graduate school if Dmitri didn’t interfere. He only wanted the best for him.
The doorbell interrupted his thoughts. All of the dogs stood on alert, and Poindexter made a soft sounding boof noise under his breath. Dmitri wasn’t expecting anyone, but he figured that Rachel might have decided to come back with her puppies. She’d been stopping by from time to time to get them properly socialized.
But it wasn’t Rachel at the door. A tall, slender young man with muddy blond hair wearing a t-shirt and simple jeans stood there instead. He looked Dmitri over with scrupulous eyes, then shook his head. “Dmitri, right?”
“Yeah,” Dmitri said. “And who are you?”
“Name’s Quip.” Quip crossed his arms. “I’m Arthur’s best friend. I think that maybe you and I should talk.”
Part of Dmitri wanted to slam the door shut and forbid Quip from entering. The other part wanted to talk to Quip badly.
Quip didn’t give him a choice. He slunk past Dmitri and into the kennel, taking a look around. Poindexter boofed again, and Quip went to look at him. Poindexter wagged his tail enthusiastically, and Dmitri watched as Quip’s shoulders relaxed.
“What are you here to talk about?” Dmitri closed the door.
Quip turned around and leaned against the kennel wall. Poindexter moved right up to the chain link fence and licked at Quip’s hand through the wires. Quip grinned. “Oh, you know, just Arthur things.”