Wolf Cursed (Lone Wolf Series Book 1)

by Heather Hildenbrand

  “I thought finding your mate was impossible,” I said. “The curse…”

  He snorted. “Yeah, I thought so too. But here we are.”

  “I don’t understand. Does that mean…the curse is broken?”

  He shook his head. “If it were, my wolf would sense a pack connection, or at the very least, I think there’d be others coming forward with a mate claimed.”

  “So, this is just about you and me then?”

  “I think so. It must have something to do with you being the curse breaker. Like, you’re immune to the effects of the curse, and that’s how we’re able to recognize one another.”

  “Can I ask…what do you feel? I mean, how do you know I’m your mate and not just some girl you like?”

  He laughed. “Fair question. Well, for starters, I feel pulled to you even when I’m not in the same room, though it’s much stronger when I’m close enough to see you.”

  I didn’t bother telling him I knew exactly what he meant. That I’d been experiencing it since the moment I’d laid eyes on him that night at Oscar’s.

  “What else?”

  “Aside from the fact that I want to rip out the throat of every male who comes within fifty feet of you?” He paused, and his amusement vanished.

  “Devon,” I said. “The day he came in and tried to flirt with me.”

  Kai’s expression darkened, and I remembered how upset Kai had gotten. But how had he known to show up at that moment?

  “How did you know to come out and stop him?” I asked.

  He watched me carefully as he said, “I can feel what you feel, Ash.”

  “Like, you can read my mood?” I asked.

  He nodded. “Something like that.”

  My eyes narrowed, and I tried not to think about how I’d been sort of doing that with him too. This shit was crazy. It couldn’t be real…right?

  “What am I feeling right now?” I challenged.

  He cocked his head, studying me. “A little fear. Not for me but for what this means, I think. And excitement.” A slow grin spread. “Pleasure.” He stepped closer and whispered, “Desire.”

  He inhaled deeply.

  “I’ve been able to smell that since the moment we parked,” he added.

  My cheeks heated, but I didn’t deny any of it. How could I when he could sense it anyway?

  “What about you, Ash?”

  I took a step back, suddenly defensive. “What about me?”

  “Can you sense my feelings?”

  “Um.”

  He stepped closer, closing the gap I’d made between us.

  My heart raced.

  “I can tell when you’re pissed,” I said. “But that’s not hard. You’re always pissed.”

  He laughed.

  “Fair. I’ve been seriously frustrated lately. What do I feel right now?”

  I frowned as the awareness came over me. Had I really not noticed this strange ability before? Or was I chalking it up to my own overworked imagination playing tricks?

  “You’re worried about me,” I said. “And you’re trying to take this slow so I don’t freak out.”

  He threw his head back and laughed out loud. It startled me. The sudden burst of joy I felt from him sent a wave of happiness through me, and I found myself smiling back at him.

  This explained so much. Why my thoughts and emotions had been so consumed by him since the moment I’d arrived. Even in the middle of my grief, Kai had been a focal point. A beacon. And looking back, I realized he’d been the thing that had helped heal me too. When he was around, I felt better. Was that part of being someone’s mate?

  “Okay, you’ve proved your point,” I said. “Although, I’m not sure how I’m able to feel you when I’m not even a wolf.”

  “You are a wolf,” he said. “She’s in there. Or this wouldn’t be possible.”

  My smile faded. “But Kai, according to the curse, this isn’t possible.”

  “I know.” He sighed. “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. Our wolves shouldn’t be able to recognize a mate. It hasn’t happened in almost twenty years now. At first, I denied it. Told myself it was a crush. Human lust. Whatever.”

  My cheeks warmed at the casual way he talked about it. I wanted to tell him I’d have settled for “human lust” as he put it, but the word “mate” kept ringing in my head, so I stayed silent.

  “Then, tonight, when I saw you in danger, my wolf lost it, and I knew.” His eyes blazed with anger, violence, and something more. “I left with you because, if I’d stayed, I would have killed every last one of those assholes who threatened you. You’re my mate, Ash. I can’t deny it anymore. But I also can’t afford to let the others know. That’s why I stayed away. If Silas or Drake or the others knew how I felt about you, it would make you an even bigger target.”

  “Is that why you didn’t stand up for me the other day?” I asked. “With Silas and the others? You let them accuse me of being a witch.”

  “I nearly lost my shit when you told us about that asshole Vorack calling you and hunting you down,” he said, his voice heavy with a growl that made me shiver. “It took everything I had not to show them how much I care about you.”

  “I care about you too.”

  Just saying the words made my heart pound in my chest. It felt too fast. But it also felt exactly right.

  “I’m glad to hear it.”

  “So, being a mate. It’s not a choice,” I said slowly.

  “It’s definitely a choice, Ash. Don’t think for a second I’d force you into anything,” he assured me. For some reason, that made me relax.

  “Okay, so the fact that we like each other…it’s still our free will, right?”

  “Absolutely. And it’s much more than like. Mates are fated.”

  “Like destiny?”

  “Yes, exactly.” He hesitated and then said, “I don’t call you Ashes for the same reason anymore, you know.”

  “Why do you do it then?”

  His eyes flashed with barely restrained violence as he said, “The next person who touches you will burn to ash for it. Those bruises you came here with will be your last, that is a promise. Even if they kill me for it.”

  I thought of Silas and the others. Of what they’d tried to do. And what Kai would do to them if they succeeded.

  “If they knew how you felt about me, they’d hurt me to hurt you,” I said.

  He nodded. “I’m so fucking sorry for the way I acted,” he whispered, stepping toward me until we were so close I could feel his breath. “And if you don’t feel the same, it’s okay. But I needed you to know the truth. I never wanted to hurt you. I was protecting you the only way I knew how.”

  “Okay, I have to ask you something first. If I say I feel the same way, are we, like, married or something?”

  He chuckled. “Not quite.”

  “Okay, because you had me up until human lust,” I admitted. “After that, the mating stuff gets confusing.”

  His smile widened, and he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer so that our hips touched. “That’s a good start,” he said, his lips brushing my cheekbone. “A really, really good start.”

  He dipped his head, brushing his mouth over mine. Hot breath warmed my face, and my body responded. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close, and rose onto my tiptoes so that our mouths met again.

  The kiss was slow. Sensual. Heat spread lazily at first then faster until my body burned and my core ached. Kai’s hands held me tight, and I was pretty sure it was the only thing keeping me upright.

  My shirt rose, and Kai’s hands brushed the bared skin of my hips as he tightened his hold on me.

  His tongue worked like magic against mine, and I rocked into him, the heat building toward need.

  “Kai,” I breathed.

  He made a sound deep in his throat and lifted me up, cradling me against him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he walked us back to where he’d left his bike. He sat down, straddling the sea
t while I straddled him.

  My hips rocked against his, and he groaned. “Ash, you’re killing me.”

  “You’re the one who brought up human lust,” I said.

  He laughed quietly, his body shaking with it, and I couldn’t help feeling thrilled at the sound. Kai’s laugh felt like a rarity, something he only shared with a select few. I loved that I was one of them.

  “You’re right, but as much as I want to do this with you, I don’t want the first time to be on the back of my bike at the Roan Mountain overlook.”

  “Sounds romantic,” I said, nipping at his ear.

  He leaned away, holding me so that I couldn’t try for the other ear. “Not with the entire pack out hunting for you,” he pointed out.

  “Buzzkill,” I muttered.

  “Yeah, murder does that.”

  I sobered. “They would kill me, wouldn’t they?” I asked, my hands still pressed against his shoulders for more reasons than just stability. “Silas, I mean. And the others. If they found me out here.”

  “No,” he said firmly, his hand cupping my face as his thumb brushed against my jaw. “I wouldn’t let them.”

  “That’s not what I asked.”

  He scowled.

  “Why do you stay here if the pack is so violent?” I asked.

  This close, it felt like I could see every secret thought Kai worked so hard to keep hidden from the world. It was hard not to get lost in all that intensity.

  “Because.” He sighed. “It’s not their fault. Without an alpha, their wolves are too strong. Their baser instincts are too dominant.”

  “You’re making excuses for them, Kai. They’re violent. Unpredictable. Dangerous.”

  “They’re my family.” He studied me. “You’ve never had family you stuck by, even when they became someone you didn’t like?”

  Yeah, he had me on that one. “Okay, I get it. But this is no way to live, Kai. They’re going to end up doing something they can’t take back.”

  Like kill me. Which I admittedly wasn’t a fan of.

  “That’s why we’re going to break the curse. Then we can all tether to an alpha, and their wolves will settle. No more chaos.”

  “Is that what you want?” I asked. “To break the curse?”

  “Of course. Why would you even ask me that?”

  “I don’t know. I thought maybe you liked things this way. Wild. Independent. No one to answer to.”

  His expression darkened, and his gaze turned far away. “The pack needs order,” he said. “We’ve run rampant for too long, and too many of us have been hurt by it.”

  I wanted to ask what he was thinking, but suddenly, his expression cleared, and his knuckles brushed my cheek. His voice softened, and I knew whatever memory had swept him up was gone. “We won’t survive without it,” he added.

  I blinked, a little dazed at our closeness. His touch. The way he looked at me. Forcing my thoughts to focus, I took a breath.

  “Okay,” I said. “So, we break the curse. But…how?”

  “I don’t know,” he admitted, and my hope deflated. “But I think I might know someone who can tell us.”

  One look at his face, and I knew exactly what he was going to say. An idea I’d been playing with for a while now. “Who?” I asked.

  “The hexerei.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Kai hadn’t lied. Oscar was alive and breathing and already waiting at home by the time Kai dropped me off. I closed the apartment door behind me and crossed to where Oscar stood at the counter, drinking a beer. Without a word, I put my arms around him and pulled him into a hug. He stiffened and then slowly brought his free arm around to pat my back. I pulled away, smiling at his awkwardness.

  “Are you hurt?” I asked, looking him over.

  He didn’t have a scratch that I could see.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said with insult in his tone. “Of course I’m not hurt.”

  I shook my head. Of course, he’d be insulted over my concern.

  “And Silas?” I asked.

  “The fucker will live,” he said darkly. “Which is more than he deserves.”

  I put my hand on his arm. “Thank you. For protecting me.”

  He shrugged me off. “What about you? Everything okay? No trouble with Kai, right?”

  “No trouble with Kai,” I assured him, my skin still buzzing from all the not-trouble we’d just had together.

  “Good.” He paused and then eyed me with a knowing glance. “He’s a good guy deep down. Rough on the edges but has a good heart.”

  I stepped back and busied myself with getting a glass of water. Now I was the one avoiding. Kai had made me swear not to tell a soul about the mate thing. The fewer people who knew, the safer we were. I knew Oscar wasn’t a threat, but a promise was a promise. And I was still getting used to the idea of it myself.

  “Why exactly are you telling me this?”

  Oscar just shrugged. “Just giving you some information.”

  I glanced over at him. “Right. Information. Thanks.”

  He grinned. “I can smell him on you, ya know.”

  I froze with the water glass halfway to my mouth. My cheeks heated, and I knew they were flaming red. “Seriously?”

  “Hmm. Do I need to have a talk with the guy?” he asked. “Find out his intentions?”

  “I— Uh...” I was a stuttering mess, and my cheeks were on fire.

  Oscar laughed, loud and full and complete with a knee slap. “You’re too easy to mess with, kid.”

  I scowled and drank the water, turning away from him in the process. When I lowered the glass, now empty, and looked back at him, Oscar’s expression had sobered.

  “Do you think it’s a bad idea?” I asked. “Me and Kai?”

  “As a matter of fact, I think it’s a great idea.”

  “You do?”

  “Well, I mean, I can’t say I’m thrilled at the idea of you with anyone. Kind of gives me weird inclinations to lock you in a closet for the next few years.”

  I snorted. “I think that time has come and gone.”

  “Yeah, you’re an adult now. I’m a little late.” He waved it off, but I couldn’t help feeling a little warm and fuzzy, knowing Oscar felt protective of me that way. It had been so long since I’d been the object of parental concern, I’d forgotten the feeling.

  “I’ve known Kai his entire life,” Oscar said. “His dad was pretty rough on him so he spent a lot of time here. Kid’s been working on motorcycles since he could hold a wrench.”

  He smiled, and it was easy to see the affection he had for Kai.

  “You two are close,” I said, and for some reason, that meant a lot to me. The two guys I cared most about in the world also cared about each other. It felt like…family.

  “He’s like a son to me,” Oscar said. “He’s got a good heart, but he’s also tough as nails. Kai’ll keep you safe,” he added. “That’s what matters to me.”

  “Thanks, Oscar.” I fought the urge to hug him again. One hug a night was probably Oscar’s max. But I did squeeze his shoulder as I passed him on my way to bed. Turned out, for all his gruffness, Oscar had a good heart too.

  And, for the first time since discovering the truth about my birthmark, I actually wanted to break the curse, especially if it meant helping Oscar.

  The next morning, Idrissa and Isaac were already waiting at the shop door when I came down to open up.

  They wore matching expressions of guilt, which would have been funny. Except that I was still pissed about them lying to me.

  “What do you want?” I asked.

  “Can we come in?” Idrissa asked.

  “Pretty please with a virgin cherry on top?” Isaac added.

  I stepped back, allowing them inside, and crossed my arms.

  Isaac held out a paper bag.

  “What’s this?” I asked, taking it hesitantly.

  “Donuts. A peace offering,” he said.

  My brow rose.

  “I would have br
ought alcohol, but you don’t drink. And my shrooms dealer isn’t awake this early.”

  I decided not to comment on that last part.

  “We came to apologize,” Idrissa said. “We should have told you about the fight happening last night.”

  “You should have,” I agreed. “Instead, you lied. Just like everyone else has done to me.” I glared at her. “I thought you were different.”

  “We are different,” she insisted.

  “What about your deal with Silas?” I asked.

  “Silas is—” She stopped, and I gave her an expectant look.

  “Silas is what? Trying to get me killed?”

  She sighed. “It’s not his fault,” she said quietly. “Our wolves crave the pack ways. The fights, the challenges, always clawing your way to the top—it’s not civilized, and he knows it. When the others aren’t around, he’s more reasonable.”

  “Silas is reasonable? Look, if you’re going to keep lying, at least, make it believable.”

  “I was just trying to protect you.”

  “I appreciate that,” I said, “But my entire life has been about others keeping secrets from me, all in the name of my own protection. I can’t do that anymore, especially with people I consider friends.”

  Isaac took a dramatically large breath and said, “That’s good because the secret you’ve been keeping is definitely starting to feel like a weight for me.”

  “My secret?” I looked back and forth between them. “What are you talking about?”

  “We know,” Idrissa said quietly.

  “About your tattoo.” Isaac’s voice was a whisper that came out more loudly than his actual voice.

  My jaw dropped. “Kai told you? That little ass—”

  “Kai knows?” Isaac shrieked.

  I glanced toward the garage where Oscar was setting his tools out for the day.

  “Ssh,” I hissed, turning to glare at Isaac.

  “Kai didn’t tell us anything.” Idrissa cocked her head. “How long has he known?”

  “Yeah, I guess you’ve been keeping two secrets.” Isaac clasped his hands together and batted his lashes. “A tattoo on your body and Kai’s name tattooed on your heart.”