The Truth of Yesterday

by Josh Aterovis

  “I don't know what I can tell you.”

  “Can we sit down?”

  “Oh yes. Please excuse my horrible manners. Sit down.”

  I took the chair I'd been sitting in before, and Razi took Tad's place in the couch. When Tad made a move to sit down next to him Razi shot him a look that I couldn't quite interpret but Tad seemed to have no such trouble. He paused for just the slightest second, then cast a quick glance in my direction before leaving the room.

  “Now we can talk in private,” Razi said, watching Tad leave the room. “I hope you weren't here too long with just him. He's not the most fascinating conversationalist.”

  I shrugged. “We were fine. I like him, he's a nice kid.” His eyes narrowed slightly at the word kid but he didn't comment. “Is he related to you?” I asked innocently, as if I hadn't just received the whole story of how he'd ended up here.

  “Do we look related?” Razi asked with an arched eyebrow. I was having a hard time guessing his age. The closest I could get it was in his 20's, but he had the type of hawkish features that make it hard to pin it any closer than that.

  I shrugged in answer. “I've known siblings who didn't look anything alike.”

  “We'd certainly be disparate siblings. No, we're not related. He's a friend. I'm doing him a favor. He needed a place to live; I let him stay here in exchange for cleaning the place and a few other small favors.”

  “That's really kind of you,” I said, hoping I was keeping the sarcasm out of my voice. Something of it must have slipped through because his eyes narrowed again, although the rest of his face remained set in its carefully bland expression.

  “I know what it's like to be in his position.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, but that has nothing to do with the subject at hand. You came to talk about Paul.”

  It wouldn't be as easy to weasel information out of Razi as it had been with Tad. Tad was younger, naïve and innocent in many ways, and looking for someone to trust and confide in. Razi was older, more experienced, and obviously a lot more suspicious.

  “Yes, I did. How well did you know him?”

  “He was one of the very few people I called friend.”

  “What was he like?”

  “Nice. Kind. Good.” He shrugged. “I know those words sound empty but they describe Paul very well.”

  “He was an escort?” I didn't mean anything by the question, but I could tell Razi took it wrongly. His body stiffened and his jaw tightened.

  “Yes, he was an escort. That doesn't make him any less nice, kind, or good. Paul had his reasons, he had his story.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We all have stories. Most of us get into it for the money; some of us need it more than others. Paul was a senior in college when he decided to come out to his parents. They were very religious and didn't take it very well. They cut off all his support. He had to finish out the year and one of his friends was in the business so they got him an interview. He was perfect; he has this sort of innocence about him that the clients just loved. He was so successful that he stayed in it even after he graduated. You make more money on your own since there's no middleman, so most guys go solo eventually. They don't usually stay with an agency. Paul did.”

  “Why?”

  “I guess he wasn't the ambitious type. He said he was making plenty of money and he didn't have to do anything but show up for his appointments.” He shrugged. “Who can argue with that?”

  “What about his family?”

  “What about them?”

  “You said they didn't approve of his being gay.”

  “That would be putting it mildly. More like they totally flipped out; told him he was a sinner and going to hell, the whole works. They wouldn't have anything to do with him for a long time. His father died and he had to find out from the newspaper. That was really hard on him. He went to the funeral and no one would even acknowledge him. But then a few weeks later his mother called and he started going to see her every once in a while.”

  “How was that?”

  “I don't really know. Paul didn't talk about it really. He was very reserved. He never really told you how he was feeling. Sometimes it was obvious, like when his father died, but most of the time you never really knew what was going on in his head.”

  “Do you know if the rest family was still antagonistic?”

  “I don't know. For all I know they were still preaching at him every time he went over there. I think he would have put up with it if it meant seeing his mother again.”

  “Did you ever meet them?”

  He let out a short bark of laughter. “You must be joking. No, I was the last person Paul wanted to introduce his family to; his family was rather racist as well as religious zealots.”

  “So you don't really know if any of them were unbalanced or anything?”

  “Are you thinking one of them killed him? I don't think so. It would seem to me as if they would have done it a long time ago if they wanted to kill him.”

  “How long ago did his dad die? Maybe his showing back up again sent someone over the edge.”

  “It was a couple months ago, maybe six at the most.”

  “So it's possible then.”

  “Perhaps.”

  “Do you have any other ideas? Did he have any enemies?”

  “Paul? No. Everyone loved Paul.”

  “Everyone keeps saying that, but obviously someone didn't like him.”

  “Perhaps it was just a random burglary gone wrong.”

  “I thought the police had pretty much discarded that theory.”

  “They did, but then they don't really care much either way. As far as I am concerned, it is still as valid a theory as any.”

  “You found him, right?”

  “Yes.” His eyes shifted away.

  “Can you tell me about that?”

  He took a deep breath. “It's hard to talk about,” he said slowly.

  “Take your time.”

  “I hadn't heard from him for a few days. That wasn't all that unusual lately but if he didn't call me, I'd usually call him after about three or four days, just to make sure everything was ok. He didn't answer his phone so I started getting worried. Finally, I just decided to go over. I had a key so I could feed his fish when he was going to be gone for a few days; he had this huge fish tank with all kinds of exotic fish. I let myself into his apartment. It was trashed. Completely and totally trashed. All his paintings were off the walls and destroyed, he loved art. His fish tank was shattered. Every table had been tipped over, lamps smashed. It was horrible.” His eyes had unfocused and I had the feeling he was seeing it all again. “And in the middle of all the mess was Paul. He was just lying there, as if he was a doll that someone had just thrown away. I knew he was dead as soon as I saw him. I've seen dead people before and he didn't look like he'd had a peaceful death. It wasn't one of those things where they just look like they are sleeping. I don't know if you've ever seen a strangling victim. I hadn't. Not before that. It's horrible. I…I'll never be able to forget it.”

  I let him sit in silence for a few minutes to collect himself before asking my next question. “Did you notice anything missing?”

  “Nothing that anyone could say. He collected coins, some of them quite rare and expensive. The collection was scattered across the floor, but it all there. Paul wasn't a big jewelry person, but what he did have was still in the bedroom. His TV, stereo, computer, everything was still there.”

  “So that's why the police ruled out burglary?”

  “You'd have to ask the police. It's not as if they confide in me.”

  “If you don't think his family could have done that, who do you think did?”

  “I don't have any ideas.”

  “None at all? What about coworkers? Did he have another job?”

  “No, he didn't need another job; he was making more than enough doing what he was doing.”

  “What about other escorts? Clients?” />
  He shrugged. “Anything is possible.”

  “Do you know how I could get in touch with any of them?”

  “Sorry.”

  “Sorry you don't know or sorry you won't help me?”

  A shrug.

  “What about the guy that owns the agency? Neal, right?”

  “I don't know.”

  “You used to be with the agency, didn't you?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you don't know how to get in touch with Neal?”

  “We don't exactly send Christmas cards, you know?”

  “Why are you avoiding my questions?”

  “I'm answering your questions.”

  “They're non-answers. Don't you even care about finding out what happened to Paul?”

  “Paul is dead. Nothing you do is going to bring him back,” he said, his voice empty and hollow.

  “What if he was killed by a serial killer who preys on escorts? You could be next.”

  “We lead risky lives. We meet strangers for a living. We all know that every appointment could be our last. We try not to think about it, but we know it. I know it. Paul knew it. You accept the risk and you do your job.”

  “So that's it? This is just one more risk?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “You have no intention of helping me find out what happened to him, do you? You don't give a damn about Paul.”

  He looked me square in the face, his black eyes flashing. “The only way you can survive this business is to not give a damn. No one gives a damn about you. Not the police, we're scum to most of them. Not the clients, it's strictly business. And not the agency, if you work for one, you're a replaceable commodity. Nobody gives a damn about Paul.”

  “Micah does.”

  He snorted. “How nice. I'm sure Paul would appreciate that if he was still alive, especially since he hadn't heard from Micah since he left. What good does it do Paul now?”

  “We can find out what happened to him and make sure he gets justice.”

  “Justice? What a joke. There is no justice, not for us. Go away, little boy. I can't help you.”

  I stood up with a sigh, figuring that was all I was going to get out of him for now. I had a feeling he knew more than he was saying, but this wasn't the time to press it. I started towards the door to let myself out. Tad hadn't relocked all the locks after Razi had come home so I didn't really need assistance. I paused by the door as a thought struck me. I turned back to Razi, who was still sitting on the sofa.

  “What's your story?” I asked.

  He looked up with a slightly surprised expression, as if he hadn't expected me to still be there. “What?”

  “Earlier you said that you all had stories. I know Paul's, I know Micah's. What's yours?”

  He looked away. “My story is my own. Leave now, please.”

  I watched him a second more, then let myself out.

  Chris waited until I reached the stairwell before falling in beside me. “Well?” She asked.

  “I didn't find out much,” I told her. “Especially not from Razi.”

  “Is he the one that went in after you were already inside?”

  “Yeah. He knows more than he's saying, but whatever he knows he sure isn't telling me.”

  “He wouldn't tell you anything?”

  “Nothing I didn't already know or couldn't find out from Micah. Well, nothing directly. I did find out that things weren't very good between Paul and his family, but Razi doesn't seem to think they could have had anything to do with Paul's murder, not that his opinion carries that much weight. I want to meet them myself.”

  “Do you see this Razi guy as a possible suspect?”

  “Well, Razi says they were friends, and Micah backs that up. Still, he might have had a motive. He's got a sweet set-up now with Tad. According to Tad, Paul didn't approve of their, for lack of a better word, relationship. He said Razi and Paul had a fight about it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Tad's a runaway. He was a street kid on the fast track to becoming a hustler when Razi took him in. It wasn't exactly out of the kindness of his heart. The kid cleans and sleeps with Razi in exchange for a roof over his head and food. If Paul was threatening to find Tad's father, Razi might have tried to stop him.”

  “You don't sound very convinced.”

  “That's because I'm not. He's hiding something, but I don't think he did it. Actually, if we're talking suspects, as much as I hate to say it, Tad makes a better one.”

  “The kid?”

  “Yeah. He has a lot more at stake if Paul decided to look up his father. He really doesn't want to go back to him.”

  “Do you really think he's a killer though?”

  I sighed. “I'd hate to think it. I like him. But I've been fooled before.”

  She looked over at me. “You're going to have to tell me some of these stories some time.”

  “Sometime before this over,” I promised.

  “Back to Razi, did you learn anything else from him?”

  “Not really. He has some history he doesn't want to talk about-actually, he has a lot of stuff he doesn't want to talk about. If everyone is like him this is not going to be easy.”

  We came out onto the street and stopped. “Where to now?” she asked.

  “I guess we can try and find Paul's apartment and see if the key still fits. I hope they haven't cleared it out yet.”

  “Probably not that quickly. The police investigation is still open and I doubt they would have released the apartment already. It would look really bad if they had.”

  “What's the address again?” she asked.

  I gave her the address and she nodded. “That's a better part of the city, close to Dupont Circle

  . It's a really pretty area. He must have been making good money to afford that.”

  “Apparently money is not an object when you're a successful escort,” I said dryly.

  “Back to the Metro then,” she said and we started back up the road in the direction of the station.

  “Killian,” a voice called from behind me. I turned around to see Tad running towards us. He'd thrown on a T-shirt and a pair of sandals but still looked completely disheveled.

  “Tad?” Chris asked under her breath.

  “Yep,” I responded as he reached us.

  “Razi's in the shower,” he said breathlessly, “I only have a minute but I didn't want you to leave without saying bye. He didn't say anything to me after you left but he was in a pretty bad mood. Did he seem mad that I let you in?”

  “He's hard to read. Why?” I asked, suddenly concerned, “What would he do if he was mad? Would he hurt you?”

  Tad grimaced. “I hope not. I don't really know. He's never really been mad at me before. Annoyed maybe, but not mad. I just don't want him to kick me out.”

  I felt bad for the poor kid, and even worse that I may have caused even more problems for him. I pulled out my wallet, found one of my cards, and scribbled my cell phone number on the back

  “If he hurts you, call me,” I said, handing him the card. “I'll come get you personally.”

  Tad blinked in surprise and for a second I thought he might cry. “Are you serious?” he asked.

  “Very. Even if you just decide you want out of your arrangement, call me.”

  “I owe him,” he said with a frown, “He saved my life. And besides, where else would I go? I'm not going back home.”

  “What if your dad wanted you back? Maybe he's changed his mind since you left. He might have realized how much you meant to him.”

  “You don't know my dad,” he snorted. “I'm not going back. I don't care what anyone says.”

  “Well, I won't make you do anything,” I told him quickly. I didn't want him to not call me if he needed me just because he was afraid I'd make him go back to his father. “Will you call me if you need me?”

  He looked back down at the card in his hand and then slipped in his pocket. He looked back up and gave me a lops
ided grin. “I dunno. Maybe, maybe not. No promises.”

  “It doesn't have to be this way, you know.”

  “It's not that bad, really. Better than the streets. Better than home.” He shrugged. “It could be worse.”

  “Maybe it could be better.”

  He looked at me for a minute without saying a word, but his expression spoke volumes. It was obvious he was torn between what he felt he owed Razi and wishing things could be different. His eyes shifted to Chris, as if noticing her for the first time.