Mountain Solo

by Jeanette Ingold

  Mountain Solo

  Jeanette Ingold

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Table of Contents

  ...

  Copyright

  Dedication

  PROLOGUE

  Tess

  My mother and I returned ...

  Dad's tall enough that I ...

  I sleep in the guest ...

  I take a fast shower ...

  Did you know she had ...

  Meg asks, "Home, or do ...

  Tessie

  Hey, sleepyhead!" Dad said. "Don't ...

  C," I said. It was ...

  When my mother and I ...

  Just before my sixth birthday, ...

  Tess

  Meg takes Amy to a ...

  The house is quiet now, ...

  Meg's still in historian mode ...

  Tessie

  Like a general pushing her ...

  With a flourish, Mr. Capianelli ...

  I wore a white organdy ...

  Frederik 1905–1906

  Frederik Bottner awakened in the ...

  Maureen O'Leary was on Frederik's ...

  Frederik swung his pick and ...

  Tessie

  Things changed after the recital. ...

  I didn't like sixth grade, ...

  A few weeks later Mr. ...

  January began the arguing months. ...

  Tess

  By late afternoon we've gained ...

  I follow Dad to an ...

  The next thing I know, ...

  We're slow to put our ...

  Tessie

  New York. I'd known it ...

  The first week in September ...

  My lessons with Mr. Geisler ...

  Mom went with me, and ...

  Frederik 1907–1908

  After being left unplayed for ...

  Frederik spread out a blanket ...

  Frederik moved through the evening ...

  Frederik, arriving in town for ...

  Tessie

  On my first morning at ...

  That year zoomed by, and ...

  Ben and I talked about ...

  One day early in our ...

  Tess

  In the late afternoon a ...

  Tess?" Amy says, tugging on ...

  We eat breakfast hunkered under ...

  Frederik 1909–1916

  They lost two ewes to ...

  It was August of another ...

  Frederik, sitting up in the ...

  Tessie

  My hard work with Mr. ...

  Mom gave me my Christmas ...

  Mr. Stubner was as thrilled ...

  February came on wet and ...

  Tess

  The rain continues to soak ...

  I wasn't sure what I ...

  When Amy squeezes my hand ...

  How about striking out on ...

  As we leave the gulch, ...

  Meg, looking stern, waits for ...

  EPILOGUE

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  SOURCES AND SUGGESTIONS FOR FURTHER READING

  Harcourt, Inc.

  ORLANDO AUSTIN NEW YORK

  SAN DIEGO TORONTO LONDON

  Copyright © 2003 by Jeanette Ingold

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be

  reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,

  electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording,

  or any information storage and retrieval system,

  without permission in writing from the publisher.

  Requests for permission to make copies of any part

  of the work should be mailed to the following address:

  Permissions Department, Harcourt, Inc.,

  6277 Sea Harbor Drive, Orlando, Florida 32887-6777.

  www.HarcourtBooks.com

  First Harcourt paperback edition 2005

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of the characters to

  actual people, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as follows:

  Ingold, Jeanette.

  Mountain solo/Jeanette Ingold.

  p. cm.

  Summary: Back at her childhood home in Missoula, Montana,

  after a disastrous concert in Germany, a teenage violin prodigy

  contemplates giving up life with her mother in New York City and her

  music as she, her father, stepmother, and stepsister hike to a pioneer

  homesite where another violinist once faced difficult decisions of his own.

  [1. Violinists—Fiction. 2. Family life—Montana—Fiction. 3. Mothers and

  daughters—Fiction. 4. Stepfamilies—Fiction. 5. Frontier and pioneer life—

  Montana—Fiction. 6. Schools—Fiction. 7. Montana—Fiction.] I. Title.

  PZ7.I533Mo 2004

  [Fic]—dc21 2003042326

  ISBN 0-15-202670-3

  ISBN 0-15-205358-1 pb

  Designed by Lydia D'moch

  Printed in the United States of America

  E G H F

  For my daughter, Carie

  PROLOGUE

  Tess & Frederik

  Tess

  Mom, stop!" I said, as she smoothed my hair and reminded me not to rush the opening bars of my solo. I took a deep breath and walked quickly onto the stage.

  And then I turned, and a spotlight came on so bright that I took a step back from it. My whole body seemed to go numb, and when the applause that had greeted me ended, my head felt squeezed by the silence.

  "Fräulein? "the conductor whispered.

  I nodded automatically. Yes, I am ready.

  But I wasn't.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw his baton's upbeat set a tempo and then swoop low, and behind me the orchestra's strings swept into the beginning measures of a Vivaldi concerto.

  I raised my violin and fixed in my mind how my first notes should sound. I would play them just the way I had when I'd won the young artists competition that brought me here to Germany.

  One more measure ... there ... Now!

  I pulled my bow in a quick downstroke and heard a discordant tone tear out raw and wrong.

  That's what I keep remembering How once I'd played that note so badly, there was no way to get it back. And how that one mistake led to another and another—a missed accent, a hurried rest beat, an odd angle to my bow arm. One off note after another after another; after another.

  Somehow my hands, on their own, played to the concerto's end: played decently through the easy parts when I should have been preparing for the trouble spots and wasn't; faltered through the hard sections with only what my fingers remembered and nothing of what I needed to add from my head and my heart.

  When the orchestra finally stopped playing and I turned back to the conductor; I couldn't meet his eyes.

  "Well, fräulein," he said. "So."

  Frederik 1905

  Frederik Bottner stared out at South Dakota farmland that looked as lonely as he felt and wished he had his parents to decide for him. Although if he still had his parents, he wouldn't be facing this decision at all. Uncle Conrad, who was a professor of music in Germany, wouldn't have written him, and Uncle Joe...

  Frederik remembered how his parents had smiled when Uncle Johann's first letter from his new home in Montana arrived last January. How they laughed at the way he signed his name "Joe" and shook their heads at how he urged them farther west to take up a place near him.

  He wrote, "I've found a mountain valley where trees scent the air like in the old country, and wind doesn't sand away a body's skin."

  Leave South Dakota? they asked. Where they had so much? They were used to the w
ind.

  The letter stayed on the table for days, though, drawing Frederik's eyes and setting him to dreaming about mountain country while he studied or worked or practiced the violin his father had begun teaching him to play. From the start, Frederik had shown a skill that alternately pleased and frustrated his father:

  "Frederik! Give attention," Heinrich Bottner would say. Then he'd adjust Frederik's hold on the instrument. "One day you're going to want to play this properly, and what if you have no one to teach you?"

  "Father," Frederik asked during one of his lessons, "do you think you might ever consider moving?"

  "I think you should attend to what you're doing!"

  "Yes, sir," Frederik answered, but his mother took the violin and handed it to his father.

  "Husband," she said, "if you want us to enjoy this, then you play it. Our son will learn music when he's ready." Her eyes teased. "Frederik, your father is going to play now. We must give attention!"

  In Frederik's house on the harsh prairie, his father's violin playing was the one thing besides sleep that brought work to a stop Even his mother's hands sat idle in her lap, not knitting or stitching, when his father's violin sang above the wind.

  But that was last January, the first month of 1905.

  In March, as snow gave way to mud and the barnyard became a quagmire of thawing manure, Frederik's mother came down with typhoid. Heinrich Bottner's violin stayed silent during his wife's last days, as he sat by her bedside endlessly repeating, "Gott im himmel... Dear Gott im himmel." And a few months later; still preoccupied with grief; he lost his own life in a careless accident.

  "With the help of a church pastor, Frederik wrote his uncles of Heinrich's death. And now both had sent back invitations for Frederik to live with them.

  Uncle Joe wrote, "I share your grief; nephew. But come! Montana is a fine place with a lot of opportunities for an able young man."

  A pastor translated the letter Uncle Conrad sent from Munich. "I have a son who is also fourteen," Conrad Bottner wrote. "You would be company for him and me, and if you have your father's talent as a musician, I will teach you violin as I'm teaching my son."

  Frederik hardly knew what to make of an uncle who, given all he could have written about, offered violin lessons. Or did Uncle Conrad guess that along with missing his family, Frederik missed the music they'd shared? Was that what he was offering? Music?

  But to leave everything familiar and start an entirely different life so far away ... And to go with no assurance that things would work out...

  Of course Frederik wouldn't have any assurances going to Montana, either but neither would he be running quite so far into the unknown.

  He looked at the letters in his hand, wishing they could tell him if one choice or the other would be a mistake.... wondering how, and when, he would know if he chose right.

  Tess

  My mother and I returned to New York the next day, and now, two weeks later, barely into July, I'm on a late-night plane to Montana and still burning with shame. And no closer to understanding how I could have failed.

  All I know is that it will never happen again. I'm taking my violin as far away as I can from everything that put me on that stage.

  My throat tightens as I hold down the tears that have been hovering this whole flight out. What if Mom's right, and at sixteen years old I'm making the biggest mistake of my life?

  As the plane nears Missoula, passengers lean toward cold windows, and I recognize a moonlit summer valley an instant before someone says, "We're coming in over the Rattlesnake."

  Scattered lights—one of them must be my dad's house—merge into the close-packed ones of downtown. Not very many lights, really, and dark mountains ring the bright basin like a cord pulled tight.

  The hardest thing was getting Mom to believe I was serious. "Leave your violin teacher? Drop out of music school?" Are you crazy? her tone implied. Then she changed arguments. "And how can you want to live with a stepfamily you haven't even met?"

  I didn't know how to answer her; I never do, but for once I didn't give in, either On my own, I had called Dad for a plane ticket and sorted my things into what I'd take with me and what I'd have sent on later.

  If I have them sent on. I couldn't tell Mom I was already worrying that staying away from New York might be harder than remaining She'd have grabbed on to a weakness like that and enlarged it until I'd be back right where she wanted me.

  Now, as we angle down to the runway, I think about Mom seeing me off from La Guardia Airport earlier today.

  She was so silently angry, I wasn't sure she'd even say good-bye. But she'd suddenly touched the violin case I was clutching "At least you're taking that with you," she said, and for a brief instant she really seemed to want to understand.

  I wish I could have explained. Could have offered something better anyway, than only telling her, "I couldn't leave it behind."

  Though that's the truth. I couldn't.

  Dad's tall enough that I easily spot him amid the airport confusion. "Hey!" I yell, running to him for a hug He looks so welcoming with his arms open wide that I have to fight back a sudden urge to cry. "Hey," I say, and I hang on to his neck a moment before stepping back.

  His gaze shifts to a girl rapidly weaving her way through the crowd. Amy, I think, recognizing her from photos. Without slowing down she looks over her shoulder hollers, "Mom, she's here!" and rams into the edge of a display case. Her mouth opens in surprise when she sees the huge grizzly bear towering inside.

  I hurry over with Dad, who asks, "You all right? No permanent damage? The bear didn't bite?"

  The poor kid's face is crimson with embarrassment.

  "I don't see any puncture marks," I joke, hoping to make her laugh. Then I add, "I'm happy to meet you, Amy. I'm Tess."

  She shoots me a mortified glance and barely mumbles a hello.

  "And I'm Meg," someone says, and I turn to meet Dad's new wife. She's taller than I'd pictured; fit looking; wears her hair, black like Amy's but faded, loosely caught behind her head. She says, "We are so glad you're here, Tess."

  I offer her my hand to shake, but she laughs and hugs me. A real hug, not at all like one of Mom's, which doesn't mess up hairstyles and makeup. Meg hugs as though she means it.

  As WE DRIVE away from the airport, I think about how you hear that a man sometimes marries the same woman twice. The same kind of woman. I suppose that deep down that's what I expected Dad to have done, but my brief impression of Meg is that she's as different from Mom as comfortable jeans are from a tailored silk suit. Which is both reassuring and scary, because Mom, at least, I'm used to.

  I look over at my stepsister who's huddled in her corner of the backseat, apparently still embarrassed over her collision with the display case. I tell heç "If you moved that grizzly bear to New York, somebody would build a whole museum around it."

  She makes a small noise that could be a sniff or a giggle.

  I tell her, "You make the third Amy that I know. There are two in my school."

  She whispers, "Dancers."

  Surprised, I ask, "How did you know that?"

  She shrugs, and I'm thinking there are easier things than trying to talk with a nine-year-old when suddenly she says, "We're going backpacking."

  "Who?"

  "Us. Day after tomorrow. Pop bought a new tent just for you and me."

  Pop? I wonder, and then I realize she means Dad.

  Amy's voice turns anxious. "Is that okay?"

  "Sharing a tent? Yes, but ... Dad?" I say, leaning forward. "Is that right? I was expecting to have some time—"

  Amy asks, "Don't you want to go?"

  "It's not that," I answer "I'm just surprised."

  Meg says, "The timing's my doing Part of the reason we're going is to pin down the location of an old homestead site while there's still enough summer left to do a good follow-up."

  For a second I don't know what she's talking about, and then I remember She's a historian—an archaeologist, act
ually—with the Forest Service. I ask, "So this will be a working vacation?"

  "Partly," she answers. "For me."

  "Got it," I say.

  I'd just as soon not get to know my new family under circumstances that throw us together every minute, but working vacations are one thing I understand. It will just be odd to watch someone else do the work.

  I sleep in the guest room since Amy's taken over mine and wake up the next morning to clear sunshine and different sounds than I'm used to. Here there're no horns or sirens; there's no city roar.

  The nightstand clock says 11:30—I never sleep so late!—and I realize Dad and Meg must have left for work hours ago. I listen for Amy and then remember her mentioning something about spending the day with a friend. Getting out of the unfamiliar bed, I feel oddly out of place, and the sensation grows as I go through the house, looking at it in a way that I couldn't last night. I know I've got a right to be here, but there's just enough difference from how it used to be to make me feel like an intruder.

  Things I expect to see are gone, replaced by things that I don't know, like a new countertop in the bathroom. And framed pictures from the Hawaii wedding that Mom decided I shouldn't attend because, she said, I couldn't afford the time.

  I pause at the doorway to Dad and Meg's room, which still has the furniture from when it was his and Mom's. It's been rearranged, though, and the patterned wallpaper and heavy drapes are gone. Now it's just dark wood, white walls, and uncovered windows looking out at trees hung with a half-dozen bird feeders.

  The changes are jolting—as though I closed my eyes on the past and opened them to find it changed—and they remind me how little I know about my new stepmother It takes effort to push down a worry that we might not get along.

  When I get to my old room, though, I burst out laughing Amy's version of leaving it neat was to pile a foot-high heap of stuff on her bed and cover it with the spread. I pick up a stray sock and shove it in with her other things.

  And then I see the pictures under the glass top of her desk, and my stomach does a little flip-flop. It's a collage of photos cut from a teen magazine article about my academic school, which is just for kids who are studying to be performing artists or already have professional careers. Amy has mounted them on colored paper and used gold ink to write in our names and what we do.