Tattered on My Sleeve

by Autumn Jones Lake

  “Where?”

  Don’t even have to think about it. “Right here, babe,” I answer, tapping my chest. “You’ve owned my heart since the night we met. I think it’s finally time to put your name over it.”

  “My name?”

  “Yeah, baby.” Gently, I pull the drawing out of her hands and show it to her again.

  “Trinity’s Man.” She sniffles and swipes under her eyes. “You really want my name on you?”

  “Yes.” I’m starting to wonder if I should have done it on my own and surprised her with it. “We can come back for yours another time if it’s too much for you, babe.”

  She drops her head, and pushes out of the chair. “Yeah, sure.”

  “I’m getting mine now. You can wait if you’re not ready,” I clarify because she seems to have misunderstood.

  While she nods at me, I still don’t think she gets what’s about to happen. I take her hand and pull her toward the back. “Bronze, we’re ready.”

  “‘Bout time.” He takes us into a side room and points at the table. “Who’s going first?”

  Don’t even have to think about it. “I am.”

  He motions to me with his hand. “Whip it off.”

  My eyes roll, but I take off my shirt and hand it to Trinity. The blush that colors her cheeks as she takes me in makes me want to kick Bronze out and put his table to other uses.

  Bronze lifts his chin at Trinity. “You holdin’ his hand, darlin’?”

  Finally the corners of her mouth turn up. “Looks like it.”

  I do hold her hand. Not because the needle hurts—I’ve certainly done this enough—but because I like holding her hand.

  Bronze is thorough and it takes a few hours to get it done.

  Leaning over, I plant a kiss on Trinity’s cheek. “Your turn.”

  She definitely looks more excited than when we got here. “I like it,” she whispers as I sit up. I’m sore and it will be a few days before I can get a good look at it, but I trust Bronze.

  “Now I know why you told me to wear loose pants,” she teases as she settles in. Her lips twitch. “I’m keeping my shirt on,” she says.

  “Hell yeah you are.”

  “You’re just a lovely blank canvas to me, darlin’,” Bronze mutters as he messes around with the drawing. “Wrath’s Girl,” he mutters. “You two are so sweet my teeth hurt.”

  Nervous laughter bubbles out of Trinity at the tired joke.

  “Ugh, now I remember why I only have the one,” she says about thirty minutes later.

  Bronze nods. “Some people don’t get the endorphin rush.”

  She squeezes my hand a little harder and I feel shitty about forcing her into this. “We can stop, baby. I’ll bring you back another day.”

  “No, I want to get it all done today if we can.” She flicks her gaze to Bronze, who’s so wrapped up in his work, I doubt he even heard our conversation.

  I’m trying really hard to find the numbness most people say they experience getting inked. But all I feel is pain. A lot of it. Every stroke of the needle fucking hurts. Figures my body can’t even produce endorphins or adrenaline or whatever the fuck would make this less painful.

  Besides the pain, I’m a crazy whirlwind of happy, excited and so fucking in love I can’t wait to show Wrath’s star off. I’m proud he wants it on me permanently. I can’t even think of what it means that he wanted my name on him. Even though most of them insisted on inking their names on their ol’ ladies, few of the guys I grew up around returned the favor.

  Wrath’s phone goes off and he very unhappily leaves the room to take the call. Bronze keeps right on working. I concentrate on moving as little as possible and not crying.

  When Wrath returns, he appears stressed. “Babe, I need to run over to CB for a bit and help out with something.”

  Bronze sets the needle down and I almost scream with relief. He lifts his chin at Wrath. “You guys were my last customers, I can run her over there when we’re done.”

  Wrath’s gaze skips to me, then back to Bronze. “Can you give us a minute?”

  He nods, rolls off his gloves and shuts the door behind him.

  “I’m sorry, angel. You know I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to.”

  While I’m not thrilled, I don’t want to stress him out more. “Wyatt, it’s fine. I understand. I’ll be okay. I trust Bronze.”

  He hesitates and glances at the door. “Yeah. Known him a long time. I trust him too. You sure you’re okay?”

  “I just want to get it done with. I’m afraid if I quit now, I won’t come back.”

  Soft laughter rumbles out of him. “I’m hoping this won’t take too long. Maybe I’ll be back before you’re done.”

  Unlikely, but I nod anyway. He leans in for a long kiss and touches his forehead to mine. “Thank you for this. I can’t wait to see it on you every day.”

  My throat tightens. I can’t swallow or get any words out, so I bob my head.

  Bronze rubs his hands together, evil-genius style, when he returns. “Ready for round two?”

  Wrath kisses my forehead and stands. I close my eyes and sit back.

  “Here, this should cover both of us. If it’s light let me know, and I’ll settle up when you drop her off.”

  Behind me, paper rustles. “I think there’s more than enough here, bro. We’re good.”

  The more I try to force my body to relax, the tenser I get. Bronze entertains me with a couple jokes. “Relax, Trinity. You’re doin’ great.”

  “My dad had his own shop when I was little. I used to daydream about all the tattoos I was going to get when I was older.” I have to stop and laugh thinking about it now. “Then when I got the one, I was like ‘hell no’ and haven’t tried again.”

  Bronze laughs with me. “Where’s the other one?”

  At the last minute, I remember to stay still. “My back.”

  “Mmmm…spine’s painful,” he mumbles. He seems to be lost in his work so I stay quiet. Eventually, the feeling of being repeatedly scratched by an angry alley cat lulls me into a semi-conscious, semi-painful state.

  “Okay. All done. It looks good, but I’d like you to keep it covered for two to three days at least. It should be presentable in about two weeks. Don’t hesitate to call me if it needs touching up or something.”

  I can’t believe I’m going to ask my next question. “How long would it take to get, um, like a name inked?” I tap my right ear. “Behind my ear.”

  Bronze tilts his head. “You haven’t had enough today?”

  “Well—it’s just…I want to surprise—”

  His lips curve into a knowing smile. “Let me guess, you want to get Wrath inked there?”

  “Not quite.”

  Of course the “emergency” at Crystal Ball is the kind that means my ass is stuck here for the rest of the night. When Bronze drops Trinity off, she takes one look inside the darkened club before her pleading eyes meet mine. We end up staying outside behind the club, where I can keep the back door open and listen for trouble.

  As much as I’d love to ask her to stick around, I know she’ll be miserable. “I’ll call Birch to give you a ride home.”

  Relief softens her face. “Thanks. Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, one of the bouncers got roughed up and it’s a stupid mess. Nothing major.” It’s not major which is why I’m so fucking irritated I gotta hang out here for the rest of the night, instead of going home with my girl. “No reason to make you suffer with me.”

  That makes her laugh.

  “It go okay after I left?” I ask. “Bronze behave himself?”

  Her lips curve into a sly smile. “Oh, yeah.”

  “I can’t wait to see it later. Between the ink, my patch and the ring I’m planning to put on your finger, there’ll be no doubt who owns your ass.”

  She gasps and pulls away from me. “Ring?”

  Of all the things that came out of my mouth, ring’s the one that freaks her out?

  “Yeah.
You said you’d want to get married at Fletcher Park.”

  “I…uh—”

  “What? You want to do it up at the property instead?”

  “One thing at a time, Wyatt.”

  “Oh, no. You’ve made me wait all this time. Wrap your head around it now.”

  “You’re kind of taking all the romance out of it.”

  I run my gaze over her face. The corners of her mouth twitch—the sign she’s fucking with me. “I’ll make it romantic. Don’t you worry.”

  “Yeah, but now you ruined the surprise.”

  I snort out a laugh. “There’s no mystery, Angel Face. This is happening. I’m yours and you’re mine.”

  She flings herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and I lift her up. Over and over she presses soft kisses to my forehead, cheeks, finally landing on my mouth. My hand threads into her hair, keeping her still for my exploring tongue.

  We’re in the back parking lot of Crystal Ball, but it’s still daylight and there’s a road that runs right behind the building. Someone whistles and Trinity pulls away.

  “You’re lucky I’m not some crazy bridezilla.” She rests her palm on my cheek. “All I want is you.”

  “Be as crazy as you want, babe. You’re still mine.”

  After Trinity leaves, I take up a position with my back to the bar so I can see the whole room. I’m getting old and jaded because the whole scene bores me. Not even the endless parade of flawless, glittered skin and perfect tits on the stage cheer me up. I’d much rather be home with my girl, inspecting her fresh ink.

  Closing time can’t come fast enough.

  Rock stops in with Hope, which is a surprise. She doesn’t wrinkle her nose or react to the half-naked chicks strutting around the bar. Nope, she hops onto the stool next to me and grins. “Having fun?”

  “Not at all,” I answer, glaring at Rock.

  Fucker just laughs. “Sorry. We’re spread thin. Last time I’ll ask for a while.”

  “Yeah. It better be.” I’m still grumpy I had to send Trinity home.

  “Geez, I figured a bunch of horny bikers would fight to the death for the honor of hanging out here all night,” Hope teases me.

  Dear God, this woman comes up with some funny shit. “Nah. The younger guys, the prospects, think it’s the greatest thing ever,” I say, when I finally stop laughing.

  “You’ve seen enough?” Hope asks with a knowing smile.

  “Something like that.”

  Rock’s still shaking with laughter as he curls his arms around Hope’s waist and pulls her against him. “Problem is, the younger guys are too busy watching the naked ladies instead of doing their job. Can’t have that.”

  “Oh.” She twists and turns toward the stage where Lexi is busy doing obscene things to the pole. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

  I raise an eyebrow at Rock and he shrugs. “I’m gonna grab something out of the office. You good?” he asks.

  “Yup.” Didn’t escape my notice the way he says the office instead of his office. Hope grabs the hand he holds out and follows him to the back of the club.

  Two a.m. takes forever to get here. I stay until all the girls have finished and tipped out. Each one gets walked to their car before I finally head home.

  I’m rewarded for my miserable night by finding Trinity awake and waiting for me. She kneels up on the bed and holds out her arms as soon as I step inside our room. I’m momentarily distracted by the skimpy tank top and underwear she’s wearing.

  Her lips push into a fake-pout. “Poor Wyatt. Were the strippers mean to you?” she asks while laughing at me.

  “No,” I grouch. “They know better.” She squeezes me tight, but doesn’t sniff me or check me over for stray pieces of glitter. It feels good knowing she trusts me.

  “Can I see?” I ask, rubbing her side.

  “Which one?”

  Takes me a second to realize what she said. “What do you mean?”

  “I got a secret one after you left,” she whisper-giggles.

  Part of me is turned the fuck on, part of me is not happy Bronze touched my girl anywhere else. “It better not be in any of the spots your tiny outfit’s hiding.”

  “It’s not.”

  Huh. “Stand up.”

  She jumps off the bed and spins.

  “Where, angel?”

  She wiggles her butt at me. “Find it.”

  Not under her clothes. I gather her hair in my hands and hold it up to inspect the back of her neck.

  Nothing.

  Even so, I brush my mouth over the spot and enjoy her shivers.

  Bingo.

  “Behind your ear?”

  “Mmm-hmmm.”

  “Does it hurt? Can I see?”

  “Go ahead.”

  As carefully as possible, I expose her skin.

  Wyatt

  I’m knocked fucking sideways. “My name?”

  She turns and her hair falls out of my hand. “Yeah. You’re always nipping that ear. Figured you should have your name there.”

  “I am?”

  Her laughter is the sweetest sound of the day. “Yeah.” Her hand lifts her tank top and brushes over the plastic covering the ink on her lower stomach/hip. “Do you want to see how this turned out?”

  Yes I do. Kneeling in front of her, I carefully peel the plastic away.

  Wrath’s Girl

  I can’t fucking wait until it’s healed and I can see it on her every day. I lean in and press my lips against her hip and her hand runs over my head.

  “I love you, Wyatt.”

  “Love you too, Angel Face.”

  She hesitates. “You don’t think ‘girl’ is silly?” she asks, pointing to the tattoo.

  My arms wrap around her legs, squeezing her tight until she looks down and meets my eyes.

  “Fuck no, Trinity. When we’re old and gray, and you’re on the back of my Tri-Glide, you’ll still be my girl.”

  Well, the end for now.

  Wrath and Trinity’s story was long and complicated. But I have more in store for them in the future. Once or twice I snickered to my husband that after 145,000 words, Trinity still isn’t patched or married at the end. I told him I was worried you guys would hunt me down. If you’ve read me before you know that I’m not a big fan of conventional HEAs. My thought on that is that unless you want to read about a couple until the day they die, all of it is HFN (Happy for Now). Maybe I shouldn’t put that in writing. I’ll get my RWA membership revoked!

  I was blown away by all the notes and messages I got after Strength From Loyalty. Every day for weeks I woke up to messages or posts describing how much someone loved the book and what it meant to them. Since it was hard to express my happiness and gratitude without sounding crazy or using a dozen smiley faces, I started using what I call the “Snoopy-dance picture”. That’s basically what I look like every time I get one of your messages, so it seemed fitting.

  Expectations for Wrath’s book were so high, I was convinced all the way through I’d screw it up. Probably a dozen times I said “fuck it, I can’t do this.” Thankfully I have my husband, crit partners, and writing partners who kept reminding me that no matter what, I can’t please everyone and to just write the story the way I felt it needed to be written. So that’s what I did.

  That’s how the threesome scene ended up staying. Wow. I’ve never gone back and forth about a scene the way I did the Teller-Murphy-Trinity threesome. It was risky and something I think you can only get away with in MC Romances and Indie publishing. I know readers are always harder on the heroine and I hate that double standard (no one suggested I take Wrath’s couch blow job out). But I was writing about a club girl and I wanted to be honest. I got such 50/50 feedback on that scene. Some of my betas said “you have to take it out” some said “it’s hot, leave it in there” (which was funny because I thought I wrote it pretty dispassionately). I needed to get two things from that scene, but with some rewriting, I could get them without the actual sex part. At one point, I
ended up taking most of it out. I discussed it some more and ultimately decided it was necessary to show how the guys respected Trinity’s boundaries. So then I wrote most of it back in. There were a couple other scenes that got similar rewrites, but that one gave me the most angst.

  You see, I’m an obstinate sort. I hate the notion in a lot of romances that the man can have all the sex he wants and the woman…can’t. I also can’t stand what I call the “golden vagina” heroine. The woman the hero falls in love with and treats like gold. But all the “other” women, club girls, whatever, are treated like trash for no reason other than they don’t possess the golden vagina. There’s nothing sexy or “alpha” about that to me.

  But my guys are still MC guys so their feminist streaks only run so deep. Even though my series is a romanticized, less gritty MC, Hope and Trinity won’t be getting a seat at the Lost Kings table. Not that either of them want one.

  Tattered was a challenge because I had the time line from the first three books to follow. While I was committed to keeping the time line straight and I knew what their story was, a lot of Hope and Rock crept into Wrath and Trinity’s story. Thanks to my crit partners and editor, I have an endless pile of deleted and heavily rewritten scenes that put the focus back where it belonged.

  Wrath’s story came about in an interesting way. Last year when my betas were going through what became Slow Burn, he was one of their favorites. I couldn’t understand why, since he was usually a jerk. I think around that time I also took a class on Goals, Motivation, and Conflict and it got me thinking about why he was such a jerk. Once Wrath had my attention, he wouldn’t shut up!

  Since no two people experience the same event the same way, I really liked the idea of exploring the same situations from another character’s perspective. I also realized if I rewrote word for word every single thing from the first three books in Wrath and Trinity’s POV it was going to be a long and boring ride. I tried to pick and choose the most important events that moved Wrath and Trin’s story forward.

  I’ve heard from people who want more from Rock and Hope in the future. They felt there was unfinished business of some sort? If you were one of those readers then you’ll be happy with Book #5. If you’re tired of Rock, Hope, and Wrath, then you’ll probably want to skip White Heat (Lost Kings MC #5). Rock and Hope will have their wedding…I just need to torture them a little bit first. Expect it in December 2015. Oh, and you read that right. It will be Rock, Hope and Wrath. No, they’re not having a threesome. You’ll just have to wait and see.