Rage (A Jaden Rayne Adventure Book 1)

by Lilith Darville

  “Okay, what?”

  Oh, God. I gulp. “Okay, Jaden.”

  We stay like this for a minute. I begin to wonder whether I’m going to topple over in these fucking heels. Another time my vanity beat my brains.

  His lips curve into a smile. “I’ll accept that … this time.”

  I straighten and prepare to do my best Beyoncé imitation. I take two rickety steps, kick off the heels, and stride to the bathroom door. Bring on Melissa McCarthy. I can’t walk properly in the goddamned things anyway.

  Jaden looks all kinds of elegant, draped across one of those contraptions they call a fainting couch. A wine glass and a joint sit on the coffee table. There’s nowhere else for me to sit but beside him. I perch on the very end as far from him as I can get. I light the joint. Inhale deeply. Hold it. Exhale, trying fruitlessly to draw designs with the smoke. I grab the wine glass, by the stem this time. Examine it just like Jaden had. I take a sip. Sigh happily.

  “Come here.” Jaden’s voice is quiet and leaves no room for argument.

  Where? There was no goddamned place to go, except … I glance over. His legs are bent and spread with his hands on his knees. He pats between his legs. He stretches his arm toward my wine glass. With a heavy sigh, I hand it over and scootch between his legs, my back to his chest. I keep my spine ramrod straight, afraid of just how much I want him yet desperate to sink into his heat. He pulls me back against his chest and hands me the glass. I certainly hope I don’t look as awkward as I feel. I’m one ball of tightly wound elastic just waiting to unravel. At least I don’t have to face those eyes.

  “Now, where were we? Oh yes, you were about to tell me what parts of messing around you liked.”

  I was? I gulp more wine. “One guy actually took me to the drive-in movies. I guess you could call it a date. He held my hand and kissed me a lot. I liked his kisses. He didn’t slobber on me.” Now why the fuck did I go and say that? The way I’m going on, Jaden must think I’m fifty shades of negative when it came to sex. Ignore that last comment.

  “So you don’t like wet kisses. What else?”

  Damn it all. He doesn’t let anything go. I turn to face him. “Aren’t you going to call me prissy?”

  Jaden barks a laugh. “Why would I do that?” He winks at me. “No, don’t tell me. Let me guess. ES called you prissy.”

  Ire rises in me. Why do I feel this constant need to defend ES? There are too many layers of fucked up cocooning the answer to that question.

  “He’s not the only one. Everyone calls me prissy.”

  “And are you?”

  “No. I’m more fastidious than prissy.”

  “Agreed.” Jaden pulls me back against him and slides his hand further up my thigh. I almost jump out of my skin when his fingers touch my labia. He slides his finger into the moisture pooling at the mouth of my vagina. Heat floods to my ears.

  “Next time, no thong. Did he do more than kiss you?”

  I wish. “He slipped his hands in my jeans and felt down there once. Then he stopped. He wouldn’t do anything else because I was jailbait. He was just a decent guy.”

  Jaden says nothing for a beat. I take another toke and sip my wine.

  “Let’s talk a bit more about our arrangement. What’s your vision of how this will work?”

  Shit. Who asks questions like this? Like most things, I haven’t thought much about what would actually happen. I daydream in snippets—the thought of Jaden’s lips brushing against mine. I rest my head against his chest and lose myself in the dream.

  “Jaden to Rayne.”

  “I haven’t given it a lot of thought.”

  “Dracaena.” His tone holds more than a hint of danger. There would be no fucking with this man.

  “You’ll teach me how to have sex.”

  “Where?”

  “What do you mean, where?”

  “Let’s try a different tack, shall we? Have you had sex in a car?”

  Jaden’s going for the world record in asking awkward questions. “Kind of. Sort of. Not really.” I try not to fidget, knowing he’s going to ask for more. “And before you get your tighty-whities in a knot, I went out in a car with a guy after we had a drinking contest. Orange gin. I gag if I even smell—”

  “Rayne.” Jaden’s voice drops about six octaves.

  I face him again. I mean, he’s taking this Dom stuff just a little too far if he thinks I’m going to jump at his every command. “Let me tell my stories my way.”

  He slips a finger under my thong and into my vagina. Heat sears a trail that leads straight to my core. My cunt contracts … hard.

  Jaden smiles. I love the tiny laugh lines at the corners of his eyes.

  “How old are you, anyway?”

  He laughs. “Thirty-three. Now, are you going to finish the story?” He pulls me back against his chest while his finger thrums my G-spot. The spot I didn’t even know really existed until the other day. Until Jaden.

  I clear my throat. “There’s not much more to tell. His name was Adam. We were both dead drunk. He was cute, and I had a huge crush on him. He wouldn’t be caught dead with me in daylight. The black thing again. Anyway, there was a lot of fumbling and cursing. I don’t think he actually got in. Come to think of it, I don’t think he got hard.”

  “What makes sex interesting for you?”

  “You.”

  “Oh no you don’t. You don’t get off that easy.”

  31

  Jaden

  Live my life …

  I let her get just a bit tipsy; I want her relaxed. Time enough to let her know the rules of BDSM play. It takes the better part of an hour before the rigidity loosens and she relaxes against me. Time to press a little harder.

  “Tell me your wildest sexual fantasy.”

  She tenses. “I will if you will.” She juts that perfect jaw forward, very much like the exotic princess she reminds me of. So full of pride. So full of self-doubt. Interesting combination.

  “That’s not how we’re doing things tonight. Tonight is about you. And you agreed to follow my directions, remember? Or are you calling it quits already?”

  I can almost see the thoughts swirling around in her head. I lean my head against the raised arm of the couch and close my eyes. I keep my breathing slow and measured. We have time. I let all that is Rayne wash over me—the scent of her hidden sexuality, the smoothness of her skin, the inferno of her sex. She’s doing her best to play the classy lady, but she squirms as I play with her cunt.

  And I wait … and wait …

  “Okay.” Rayne puffs out a breath and sits up. “It’s to be spanked. There, happy now?”

  I open my eyes. Her cheeks glow like neon on the Vegas strip. I’m delighted. She’s honest for a change. “Almost, but not quite. How do you want to be spanked?”

  Now she leaps up and starts pacing. “Are you always going to ask questions like this? What’s with all the talking? I don’t like all this talking shit. I’m a doer.”

  “Sit back down.”

  She stops and glares at me. “Answer me first.”

  I say nothing. She glares some more. She takes a toke and tosses another glare my way. I say nothing, enjoying the display of emotions dancing across her face. She sits.

  “Fine. I don’t want to be spanked. That’s just my fantasy. Fantasies aren’t real, you know.”

  “They can be. And I suspect you would like to be spanked, but we’ll take it slow. How are you spanked in your fantasy?”

  She’s quiet for so long I think I’ve lost her. “Over the knee, but that’s never going to happen.” She’s holding her breath.

  “Why not?”

  “Because it reminds me of ES and all his little girl bullshit. So, no spanking for this woman.”

  The damage caused by this stepfather of hers runs deep. I’ve got my work cut out for me. My adrenaline pumps, and my heart skips a happy beat or two as I anticipate all the things I’ll teach my little dragon. Including how to enjoy play without looking at the
ugly side. Which could take years. I decide not to examine my motives; time for that later.

  “Would you try a flogger?”

  Now she’s looking interested. “Do they hurt a lot?”

  “Depends how they’re used. Some pain can bring great pleasure. Which brings me to the next topic. Safe words.”

  “Oh, I know all about them. That Dom we saw used them and Kat told us in class. They use the light system here. Too bad, because I was thinking ‘hellcat’ would be a really cool safe word.”

  I start to recognize the mischievous light dancing around her eyes. My Dracaena does like her drama. She would no doubt test every boundary.

  “We’ll use the light system. So, how does it work?” I want to be very sure we’re both on the same page.

  “You know very well how it works.”

  “Humor me.”

  “Green means everything is a go.” She uses a nasally singsong voice that is as charming as it is irritating. “Yellow means back it off a notch. Red means full stop.”

  I nod. “Good. What do you want to happen tonight?”

  “Hold your horses, mister. There’s a few other things we need to get straight. Kat says you know this.”

  She really doesn’t let much go. “You’re right. We can have that conversation now if you like or wait for tomorrow.”

  “Don’t put off today—”

  “Yeah, got it. So let’s talk about our arrangement.”

  Rayne jumps up and retrieves her pad and paper. “Okay, I’m ready. What’s first?”

  “Do you plan on fucking others while you’re with me?”

  Large dark eyes study me intently. “Is that a problem?”

  It sure as fuck will be. “Not from my perspective. You should always stay true to your feelings.” Even I can’t stand the preacher tone that creeps into my voice. “What if I want to fuck someone else?” I keep my eyes flat.

  Rayne’s eyes go wide as saucers, and she bites her lip. Frown lines dig furrows between her brows. Excellent. That shouldn’t please me, but it does.

  “You can fuck whoever you like. We have no commitment.” She manages to stammer the words out. She really is a bad liar. She’s good at distraction and excels at misdirection, but her body language gives away intentional lies.

  “So I guess that means you’ll be fucking other people, too?” I ask.

  That defiant chin rises again. “I didn’t say that, but what’s good for the gander and all that.”

  “This is not a tit-for-tat situation. Payback is not a reason to fuck someone.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t do it just for that reason. I’d have to like the guy, too. Anyway, we’re just … What did you call it? Servicing each other. We have no claim on each other.” It’s obvious that she thinks nothing of the kind, that the thought of me with another woman makes her seethe. Excellent.

  “But, you’d only fuck him if I fucked someone else.” I have no idea why I’m drilling down on this, but something in me wants her to want me and only me.

  She looks at me like I’m an idiot. “That is what I said. I’d have no reason to fuck him if we’re working well together. If you fuck someone else, you obviously don’t want me.”

  Despite what she thinks, Rayne’s vision of the world is somewhat black and white. Not a lot of gray exists in her world. We’d have to work on that.

  “That’s not necessarily the case, but I won’t argue the point. Let’s agree to let each other know if we’re fucking someone else.”

  Her dark eyes flash. “I want to know if you’re even looking at someone else.”

  And she’s more than a little possessive. On a cerebral level, this was not a good thing.

  My heart sings with joy I refuse to look at. “We don’t owe each other anything. We’ll practice safe sex.”

  She stands up, hands on hips. “That’s not good enough. My blood tests show I’m clean, no STDs. I’ve never had an STD and don’t intend to get one now. I will castrate the fucker who gives me one. So you need to rethink this plan of yours if you want to be with me.”

  I love how she stands up to me, even when she’s annoyingly right. Women never challenge me, especially when they find out I’m rich. They try to pander to my ego. Rayne tries to crush my ego. Kudos to her.

  “How do you know you can trust me?”

  She tilts her head to the side and gives me the eye.

  “If you give me your word, I’ll trust you until you break it.” Her face softens, and she laughs. “You strike me as one of those ‘my word is my bond’ and ‘a deal is made with a handshake’ guys.”

  “That’s a good way to do business.”

  “No, it’s not, and if that’s what you believe, you need someone like me taking care of your business before you’re taken to the cleaners.”

  “You may have a point, but we’re not here to talk about that tonight. Let’s get back to the subject at hand.” I lean back in my original position on the couch, spread my legs, and pat the seat between them.

  Slowly, Rayne puts the pad and pen on the coffee table and resumes her seat between my legs, spine stiff.

  “We haven’t finished the contract,” she says.

  “What else do you need to know?” I press the pad of my thumb into the smooth, firm flesh of her thigh. “We’ve talked about your hard limits. You don’t know what they are yet, so we’ll play it by ear.”

  “I told you I don’t do handcuffs. Ever. No fucking way am I going to get stuck in handcuffs if you up and die on me or something.”

  I smile at her dramatics. Stephen King’s book was one of my favorite reads. I put my index finger beside the thumb. “I got the point the first time. We’ve settled on the safe words.”

  My middle finger joins the other two on that muscular thigh. “We’ve covered off the state of our sexual health.” My fourth finger joins its companions. “You don’t know what you like because you haven’t explored enough, and fifth, we know you’re not crazy in love with the idea of me fucking someone else.”

  Rayne turns to face me. “I never said—”

  My index finger across her lips stills her. “You didn’t have to. What else do you need to know?”

  “I don’t know what you like.” She actually pouts. “And I don’t know your hard limits. It’s not fair that you get to know everything about me, and I get to know nothing about—”

  My finger stills her again. The gift of gab is her number one defensive weapon.

  “I doubt that anything we’d do would get near my hard limits, which run similar to yours.”

  She spins around to face me again all full of vim and challenge. “That’s what you think. I might be way, way kinkier than you, you know.”

  “That may be.” I pull her back against my chest. “Let’s find out.”

  I run each index finger along the muscles lining her inside thighs. She stills for a few seconds. I slide fingers toward the furnace radiating between her legs and run into a lake. She startles and contracts her legs around my hands. She’s more than ready.

  “And how long do you want this to last?” Her voice is almost a whisper.

  “We’ll play that by ear, too. Enough talk. You probably need a bio break.” I slide her forward and push off the settee. I need to give My Man a break before he bursts.

  I take time freshening up until I hear Rayne in the adjoining bathroom. The thought of her walking out naked, ready for me, flashes behind my eyes. But she isn’t that woman … yet.

  I pour myself a Stoli, the only one I allow myself before an evening. I light a few candles and increase the fireplace flame. I set the remainder of her wine and joint on the bar. I check everything is to my liking. I don’t want anything at all to distract her from focusing on our evening. Then, I wait.

  Although she moves silently, I’m aware of her the moment she returns to the room. She glides up beside me and lights the joint. Steady dark eyes survey me while she tokes. Like she’s crawling inside me, looking for all my secret crevices and cracks
. I shake away the feeling she’s probing my mind. I don’t believe those things are possible. They simply aren’t scientific. She relies entirely too much on her intuition.

  I try not to squirm and stamp on my impatience. She stubs out the joint and takes a few sips of wine. That gaze never leaves me. I stare back, falling into the darkness of her intense eyes. She’s almost ready; I can feel her vibe. Time to think about that later. I take a final sip of Stoli and slide my glass on the bar. Moving to the center of the room, I gesture for her. She maintains eye contact and slides her glass beside mine. Slowly, she walks to me and stops a foot away. A thin shield of anxiety barely covers repressed excitement. She’s ready.

  32

  Rayne

  Baby, make it all sound; baby pick up what you’ve found …

  Jaden hasn’t said a fucking word. He watches me. Intense. I drain the remnants of my wine, wishing like crazy for another. Damn Jaden and his rules. One sure thing about it, he’s righteous about these rules of his.

  When he steps to the middle of the room and holds his arm out, I almost pee myself with excitement. My entire system surges toward him. I bite down on my lip … hard … to stop myself from running to him. A sudden wave of insecurity and indecision crashes over me. I want to jump all over him. That might turn him off, and I’m going to fucking kill myself if I have to wait for him one day longer. If I appear too eager, he’ll think I’m a slut. I. Am. Not. A. Slut. If I’m too reticent, he might think I’m not interested. If I don’t do anything, he’ll think I’m a frigid bitch. What to do?

  I watch him intently, trying to take his measure. Trying to get past his force field, but his deflector shields are up on full.

  A low simmering heat licks at the edges of my desire, but I can’t get a grip on it. Jaden will let me see what he wants when he’s ready. That has to be good enough for now.

  “Rayne, what did I say about tonight?” There is more than a hint of low huskiness in his rich tenor voice. I’m mortified as more moisture leaks down my inner thighs.

  Ah, time to play poker. Not a chance he’ll see my hand. I adopt what I hope is a good ditzy face. “I don’t know, Jaden. You said a lot of things.”